Welcome to the lastest chapter of Naruto Man at Arms which is now (at the time of posting this chapter) one of three Naruto/Discworld crossovers.
Before we start I do not own Naruto or Discworld.
Sam Vimes's meeting with the Patrician ended in such a way that Vimes felt that he had just escaped death by the narrowest of margins only to find himself in an even more dangerous situation, a situation that for some reason Sam imagined should involve fire. This was because upon asking about the forth new recruit who he learned was called Naruto Uzumaki, he had allowed some sort of Animorphic like person in to the watch. What the male blonde turned in to was unknown at this time but still Vimes reasoned it was better than a Vampire. Leaving the Patrictian's Palace Vimes trudged on to see his bride to be and he knew exactly where to find her.
The sign above the big double gates said: Here be Dragons. The brass plaque beside the gates read: The Ankh-Morpork Sunshine Sanctuary for Sick Dragons. This is where Vimes knew Lady Syibl Ramkin spent most of her days.
Entering the pens carefully. As due to the nature of of the Dragons of the Disc having a stomach full of volatile chemicals, they had a tendency to suddenly (and with out any warning what so ever) Explode.
The smell of the Pens was unusual even by Ankh-Morpork standards. The smell put one in mind of a pond used to dumb alchemic wast for several years and then drained. Currently Lady Sybil was struggling along with the two assistants called Emma with a brown sack. A sack that was promptly pushed into Sam's arms when he was close enough and was told to hold it by Sybil. In that same moment a talon ripped out of the sack and clawed down Vimes's breastplate, in an attempt at disembowelment.
This was soon followed by a spiky eared head shoving it's way out the other end of the sack. The Dragon's gleaming red eyes focused on Vimes and a tooth-serated mouth opened and a gush of evil smelling vapour washed over Vimes. In that moment Lady Ramkin grabbed the lower Jaw and thrust the other arm up to the elbow down the Dragon's throat.
"Got you!" Declared Sybil triumphantly much to Vimes's shock. "Little Devil wouldn't take his limestone tablet. Swallow. Swallow! There! Who's a good boy then? You can let him go now."
the sack slipped from Vimes's arms.
"Bad case of Flameless Gripe." Explained Sybil. "Hope we got it in time"
The Dragon ripped it's way out of the sack and looked round for something to incinerate. Everyone immediately got out of it's way.
The Dragon's eyes crossed, it hiccuped. The Limestone tablet (Pinged) off the opposite wall.
"Everybody Down!" Shouted Lady Sibyl. They leapt for the nearest cover they could. Said cover being a water trough and a pile of clinkers. The Dragon hiccuped again, and looked puzzled. Then exploded. The heads of those hiding appeared from behind there respective cover after the smoke cleared.
Lady Ramkin took a handkerchief from a pocket on her leather overalls and blew her nose. "Silly little bugger." she said sadly. "Oh well. Did you go see Havelock Sam?"
Vimes nodded. Never in all his life would he get used to the idea that the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork would have a first name, or that anybody would know him well enough to use it.
Sybil I've been thinking about this dinner tomorrow night." Vimes said desperately "You know I don't think I can..."
"Don't be silly" Said Sybil. "You'll enjoy it. It's time you met the right people." Explained Lady Sybil meaningfully.
Vimes simply nodded mournfully at that.
"You shall be expected at eight 'O' clock, then... and don't give me that look it will be tremendous help for you. You Sam are far too good to be traipsing around those damn wet cobbled streets, and it's high time you got on in the world."
Vimes wanted to say he liked traipsing around dark wet cobbled streets; but it would be no use. This was because it was a lie, Vimes didn't really like it it was just what he'd always done. He thought about it in the same way he thought about his badge. It was like he thought about his nose, he didn't love it or hate it it was just there.
"So just run along. It'll be terrific fun. Handkerchief." Sybil suddenly said causing Vimes to Panic. "What?"
"Give it to me." Vimes reluctantly passed his handkerchief to Sybil. She then held it close to his mouth. "Spit..." she commanded. Vimes complied.
Sybil then dabbed at a smudge on his cheek. One of the Emma's giggled a giggle that was just on the edge of hearing Lady Sybil ignored it.
"There that's better" She said. "Now off you go and keep the streets safe. And if you would like to do something really useful, you could find Chubby."
"Chubby?" "He got out of his pen last night."
"A dragon." Vimes groaned as he pulled out a cheep Cigar out of his pocket. Dragons were becoming an annoyance within the city. Lady Sybil got quite angry over it as people would buy them when they were six inches long and a cute way to start the fire. But when they grow and start burning the furniture or leaving corrosive holes everywhere they'd be shoved out the door and left to fend for them selves.
"We rescued him from a blacksmith on Easy Street" explained Lady Sybil. " I said 'My good man you can use a forge like other blacksmiths' poor thing"
"Chubby." said Vimes "Got a light?" He then asked
"Poor boy's got a blue collar." explained Lady Ramkin
"Right yes"
"He'll follow you if he thinks you've got some charcoal biscuits."
"Right." Vimes said patting his pockets
"They're a little over excited in this heat."
Vimes reached down into one of the hatching pens, and picked up one of the small ones. The small blue dragon flapped it's stubby wings excitedly and spewed a jet of green flames. Vimes inhaled quickly lighting his cigar.
Seeing her husband to be Sybil sighed "I really wish you wouldn't do that."
"Sorry" Vimes said.
"So if you could get Carrot and that 'nice' Corporal Nobbs keep an eye out for..."
"No problem." answered Vimes. For some reason Lady Sybil, who had a keen eye in every other respect, was under the impression that Corporal Nobby Nobbs was a loveable cheeky rascal. Vimes reasoned it had something to do with opposites attracting.
As he walked down the street dressed in his old leather and rusty mail, helmet on head and the feel of the cobbles through his warn soles telling him he was in Arce Alley no one would believe they were looking at the man who would be soon marrying Ankh-Morpork's richest women. As he walked Vimes noticed a black Fox carrying a rat into an alley for it's dinner. That was something that had started to appear in the last few weeks Foxes seemed to be on every street or in every alley in Ankh-Morpork they weren't a problem but they seemed to be everywhere lately and mo one seemed to be able to find out where they lived or . Continuing on to the watch house Vimes never noticed a fox was following him as well.
The foxes are incessant Naruto's spy network within Ankh-Morpork.
