Grieving

Chapter 2

A/N: thanks to Grey-Rain-Cloud for reviewing. I finally updated this story. I've been busy with school and stuff, so i won't be updating that often but I will eventually get around to it, you just have to be patient. This isn't beta'd, all mistakes are my own. This is fanfiction, I'm making nothing from this. Please review and let me know how I'm doing! Flames shall be used to roast my marshmallows'!

Erestor didn't know what he felt anymore. All he remembered was feeling miserable and then suddenly it was as if a load was taken off his chest, he could finally breath again. He knew that he was fading, he had known for a long time. Erestor had been experiencing the symptoms for quite some time now. First it started off simple; he could never stay warm, no matter where he was or how many layers of thick wool he wore. He suddenly couldn't taste his food. Even the most exotic spices seemed to taste bland, and the little that he did manage to eat wouldn't stay down for long. Finally there were the blackouts. They started a few moons past. Though at that time they had only lasted a few minutes, according to Elrond he had been out for a week. 'The end is nearing,' Erestor thought to himself. 'It shouldn't be long now; I'd guess I have maybe a month, if that.' Erestor shivered and snuggled closer into the warm confines of his bed, he let loose a sigh. He felt a tear roll down his cheek and he was brought back to the conversation a week prior.

*FLASHBACK*

"Disgusting, that's all you've ever been," Glorfindel spat. Elrond saw Erestor's hands fall down to his sides, his mouth gapping wide. He could also see the tears that pooled in Erestor's ebony eyes. "Did I Strike a nerve Erestor?" Glorfindel sneered. Erestor began to shake. Glorfindel slowly started to circle the elf before him, like a predator would circle his prey. He studied the trembling elf before him, taking in his features and calculating his defaults. The cruel words "Ugly", "Pathetic" and "Useless" were whispered but they served their purpose well. With each and every word spoken silver tears made their way down Erestor's pale cheeks. But Glorfindel did not stop there; he just had to make things worse. "Tell me Erestor have you ever had a lover?" Glorfindel didn't give Erestor the chance to reply. "Of course you haven't. Who would want to wake up every morning to that face?" He sneered. Erestor's skin- which is pale by nature- has taken on a sickly shade of grey with the words that followed. "I bet you are untried as well." Erestor's body crumpled to the ground, he could no longer keep himself up. It was as if Glorfindel's words weighed down upon him. Glorfindel scoffed at the sight. "This is how you will die, Erestor." Glorfindel bent over the prone figure and whispered into his ear. "Untried, unwanted and unloved." With that Glorfindel kissed Erestor's cheek in a mock gesture of love and then took his leave. Even though many minutes had passed, Glorfindel's words echoed throughout the gardens.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

Erestor sat up abruptly, wrapping his arms around his waist hugging himself. "I have had a lover Glorfindel..." Erestor chocked back a sob. "Do you not remember? That night in Gondolin, You told me you loved me. We were to officially be bound to one another in a few short weeks." Erestor sighed. "I gave myself to you that night underneath the stars; the only thing that hid us was the thick blackness that we call night. But by the time morning came the city was in an uproar." He sighed "We were under attack. Morgoth's forces had finally found us. You tried to get me to flee the city through the hidden passage, but I was stubborn. One of the many traits I learned from you." Erestor scrubbed his hand over his eyes and continued. "I watched you die. I watched you slay the Balrog and fall to your death." Erestor could continue no longer, his throat had seized up with raw emotion and for once, Erestor let it all out. He cried. He cried for the friends and family he had lost in Gondolin. He cried for the Glorfindel that he lost that tragic day, the Glorfindel that he loved, not the heartless and cool exterior of the elf that now remains and mostly he cried for himself. After Glorfindel had died, Erestor's only wish was to follow him in death, so that one day they could be re-united again so they could love once more. But now Erestor would never get that luxury. It was a cruel trick the Valar played indeed to return Glorfindel to Middle Earth, without his memories and even worse the Valar returned him with nothing but pure hatred for Erestor.

Maybe the end was closer than he had originally thought. Erestor had hoped that Glorfindel would suddenly wake up one morning and remember his love for him and save Erestor from this eternity of cold pain. But it`s clear now he never meant anything to Glorfindel, how could you forget the one you loved? Even in death. "Well, what do you know? Glorfindel you were right I will die unloved and unwanted." Erestor whispered to himself before he fell into an uneasy sleep. Hoping that tomorrow would be a better day.