wants and needs
Wherein texting persists as a form of communication and a bargain is struck between old friends
TRACY ISLAND, 2060
P: good afternoon, lovely! heard you were down, just saying hello 3
P: when did you get back?
J: Recently.
P: darling, were you sleeping? didn't think you'd answer if I woke you.
J: Can't sleep, dehydrated. Headache. Vertigo. Actively dying. otherwise fine. how are you?
P: aw, lamb. I'm quite well, terribly sorry you're feeling poorly.
J: stop the earth please, I'd like to get off now.
P: afraid my influence doesn't go much further than the British isles, pet. might I call?
J: see above, re: headache.
P: so sorry, sweetheart
J: too many nicknames, what do you want?
P: ass.
J: not my area, ask Gordon.
P: I tried, he's in the Galapagos.
J: I know, he's been texting me pictures of birds every 20 minutes, trying to cheer me up.
P: but that's sweet though!
J: plenty cheerful. need sleep, not birds.
P: well, I need a favour.
J: want =/= need
P: I said need.
J: said =/= meant
P: remember that time I saved your life?
J: I remember that you mix it up with the time i nearly suffocated in open space because you thought I was sending you selfies.
P: but you didn't! And you're very welcome, by the way, not that you ever thanked me.
J: are you actually calling in that favor or can I go back to sleep
P: saving your life is just a favour now? we seem to have a mismatch in our understanding of the scale of the average favour.
J: I'm asleep now. I'm sleeping.
P: I need a date for a garden party.
J: I'm going to take that as a concession that my assessment of your contribution to lifesaving is more accurate than yours. also, no.
P: please?
J: noooooooo
P: I never ask you for anything.
J: this is probably why. and last week you asked me to "hack" into Prada's HQ because you wanted to know about next year's handbags.
P: and you wouldn't do it because you're an utter bastard.
J: poor little rich girl.
P: come to my party.
J: don't wanna.
P: why not? what are you down for anyway?
J: well, it's not exclusively to be of use to you. I have to recertify a bunch of qualifications for my space operations license.
P: Boring! tedious bureaucracy. come with me to a lovely English garden party, there'll be caviar and croquet and charming company. My great aunt is hosting, she's delightful, she'll adore you.
J: give me some real incentive if you want me to think about it.
P: erasure of a life-debt
J: I don't owe you a life debt.
P: case of scotch.
J: I don't drink scotch.
P: two cases of scotch.
J: I still don't drink scotch.
P: case of meteorites.
J: that doesn't even make sense.
P: it's very good scotch, you'd like scotch if you drank this scotch. case of scotch, and I'll make scott beg you to go.
J: Hm.
P: scotch can be leveraged to make scott do things. proven fact.
J: When?
P: Any minute now.
J: I mean the party. and what?
P: Sunday. And never you mind.
J: I need to be in Houston tuesday morning.
P: you'll be there with bells on, perfectly refreshed and ready for your tedium, you have my word.
J: it's not tedium, it's a legal requirement if I want to stay in orbit for the rest of the year. English garden parties = tedium.
P: you've been stuck on an island for too long, you're an absolute bastion of incivility. you and your brothers, it's like Lord of the Flies.
J: right, the book about the inherent savagery of the english upper class. You're literally trying to buy me, and WE'RE the ones who're like lord of the flies. Also I live in space.
P: Hush.
J: There's knocking. have you actually gotten scott involved?
P: you know, I actually have.
J: You can't think he'll actually beg.
P: Bet he will.
J: hmmmmmmmm.
P: if he does, then you owe me a game of croquet.
J: we played croquet at your last birthday and you drank too much champagne and tried to hit me with a mallet.
P: well don't cheat this time.
J: a basic grasp of physics isn't cheating.
P: Go answer the door. You have fun at my parties, and we'll have a wonderful time. Thank me later.
J: Don't count your chickens before they've actually accepted your invitations.
P: Text me back to tell me yes.
J: You have a real problem with foregone conclusions. Maybe.
P: talk to you soon.
