A/N: Alright, I'm still getting over Writer's Block but here we go! This might be a threeshot! Not sure yet.

Anyway I decided to back up a bit. This chapter is everything that happened the day before Haru's race, which was last chapter. Call it a sort of prequel.

IMPORTANT: Some of the timeline has been altered. For example, Haru doesn't go on a run before Rin shows up. Also, Rin yells at Haru before his race (because of the alternate ending to the race in the last chapter, Rin doesn't have a chance to yell at him after). Also Haru and Mako google searched news headlines and school newspapers and they know what happened to Sousuke in detail. I thought it would make things more interesting *smirk*

Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own this anime. I have a great respect for the people who do, because it's amazing. Some of the dialogue will look familiar though ?

Chapter 2

A DAY EARLIER

Rin made his way down the hallway, hoping that he had gotten correct information on Haruka and Makoto's room number. He found 362 and knocked on the door. Makoto answered it, hair dripping wet and a towel slung over his shoulders. "Ah, Rin! Come on in!" he invited cheerfully. Rin walked into the room and glanced at Haru, who was lying flat on his back on a bed and staring at the ceiling. He didn't so much as glance over. Mako sat on the other bed and began toweling his hair.

"So, did you need something?" Makoto asked, looking back up.

"Yeah, I wanted to talk to Haru," Rin answered. The black-haired boy's eyes shifted to look at him.

"Alright! I was about to go check on Rei and Nagisa anyway. You know, to make sure they're all settled in and getting ready to sleep," Makoto said. Rin snorted.

"Dude, you are such a mother hen!"

Makoto blushed. "I am not! I just want to make sure they're well rested so that we can beat you tomorrow!"

"Not gonna happen!" Rin called to his friend's retreating back. He shook his head and chuckled. Then he turned back to Haru, who hadn't moved and inch. His eyes were closed too. Rin sighed. That was just like him. He made his way over and sat on the edge of Haru's bed, the mattress sinking beneath his weight. Haru opened his eyes.

"You wanted to talk?" he asked softly.

"Yeah, just about what you plan on doing after high school. Nothing serious," Rin said nonchalantly. Haru's eyes narrowed a bit. "Seriously man, you have to do something!"

"I know..."

"So do you have any ideas?"

"No."

"None?"

"Nope."

"Professional swimmer?" Rin urged. He said it with a kind of a 'duh' tone. "You have several scouts after you already. There's no way they wouldn't accept you into college with a full scholarship."

"I only swim free."

Rin's eyes narrowed. He was getting sick and tired of Haru saying that, like it would solve all of his problems. Free wasn't a career. Free wasn't a job. Free wouldn't pay the bills. Free wouldn't pay for food. Free wasn't a future. "Do you think this is a joke?" he asked incredulously. "Because no one is laughing! You can't just keep stalling! You HAVE to decide! You can swim professionally and still swim free. What are you doing right now? Competing! And your 'free' moral code is okay with that! So why can't you compete on a higher level and still be free?"

Haru didn't answer. Rin grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into a sitting position. Haru glared at him, and Rin knew that his friend felt threatened and was closing himself off to the conversation entirely. But he didn't care, he just pushed harder. "How do you think your parents feel? How do you think your friends feel? Do you really think they enjoy seeing you walk away from your life? You're almost an adult! You can't depend on others forever! They're all going to leave you, one by one! They are going to move to big cities to go to college and chase careers. You'll be stuck in an empty house in an empty town wasting your life away!"

"Back off Rin," Haru snarled. "My future is none of your business!"

"I'm making it my business, because you won't make it yours!"

"What if I don't want to become a professional swimmer?! What if I don't want to be in the spotlight, constantly being urged to perform well?! What if I don't want to be pushed that hard? Do you have any idea about being pushed too hard? You should ask Sousuke sometime!" Haru spat.

Rin's brows furrowed. "This has nothing to do with Sousuke... I don't know what you're talking about! Why wouldn't you want to be a professional swimmer? You could swim all the time, and you're good at it! You need to grab this opportunity!"

"I don't have to grab anything," Haru responded bitterly.

"JUST MAKE A DECISION, DAMMIT!" Rin yelled, pushing Haru against the wall and getting in his face. Something snapped inside of the blue-eyed boy. He slammed his fist against the wall and shoved Rin off of him.

"WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT MY FUTURE? WHAT IS IT THAT YOU THINK I HAVE? THIS IS MY LIFE, NOT YOURS! I'M NOT YOU! I'M NEVER GOING TO BE YOU!"

Rin stood there, stunned. Haru marched past him, shoulder-checking him. He slipped his tennis shoes on and strode out the door, slamming it behind him. The loud BANG rang in Rin's ears as he turned slowly to stare at the closed door. Haru had never yelled like that at him. Or at anybody, a far as Rin knew. He must've upset the guy more than he had planned.

A small part of Rin thought, "Let him go. I don't regret anything I said, because it was all the truth. Maybe he'll think about what I said and come to reason."

But the other half thought, "I should go find him and apologize. Whatever I said had to have hit a tender chord. Maybe we can work through it."

In the end, Rin turned and went back to his own hotel room. Makoto could comfort the stubborn Haruka. He closed the door louder than necessary, and when he took his shoes off he threw them against the opposite wall. Then he collapsed onto the bed. Sousuke looked up from where he was sitting in the chair in the corner, reading the line-up for tomorrow's swimmers. "What's wrong?"

Rin took in a deep breath and let it out. He remained silent and then said, "Sousuke, what's your opinion on being pushed too hard?"

Sousuke nearly dropped the papers in his hand in shock, but he managed to pull himself together. He struggled to keep his expression neutral. "Why do you ask?"

"Nothing. Just something Haru said."

Sousuke pressed his lips into a thin line. "I see. Hey, I'm gonna go grab a soda from the vending machine. You want anything?" He took Rin's silence as a yes. Crossing the room, he pulled on his jacket and sneakers and headed out. He stepped into the elevator. There was a room service boy already inside with a trolley. Sousuke went and stood in the back, leaning against the wall. They had only gone one floor down when the elevator stopped and the door opened. Nanase stepped inside. Both boy's eyes narrowed as they eyed each other warily. The room service guy gulped.

The ride down to the lobby was dead silent. Sousuke was itching to confront Nanase about what he had said to Rin, but he decided against it. It was probably about something else entirely. There was no way Haruka knew about his shoulder. He had kept the whole affair completely quiet. The only person who knew about it other than Sousuke was his old classmate Kisumi, who Sousuke hadn't seen in a very long time. So there was no reason to worry about it, and if he asked Nanase then the boy might get suspicious.

The room service boy got tired of the tension and hit the button to let himself out of the elevator. The elevator stopped on the nearest floor and the door opened. He pushed his trolley forward, but he accidentally hit the crack between the elevator and the floor too hard and the cart tipped. Towels went flying everywhere. He watched as both of the spiteful young men leapt forward to catch them except that one stopped short, gripping his shoulder as his face twisted in agony. The other young man quickly stacked the towels back on the trolley and the trolley boy retreated as quickly as possible, spewing apologies behind him.

Meanwhile, back in the elevator, the tension had reached new heights. After a few seconds, Haru spoke. "That shoulder still giving you grief?"

Sousuke's jaw dropped. "What the hell does that mean?!" he demanded, trying to hide his inner panic.

"Drop the act. I ran into Kisumi the other day," Haru replied quietly. "And I did a little Googling." Sousuke muttered a curse.

"Good for you," he spat. The elevator reached the lobby and he walked out quickly. His annoyance and hatred toward his blue-eyed competitor rolled off of him in waves. Haru waited until he had passed and then followed him out. Sousuke stopped short. It was so abrupt that Haru nearly ran into him. Suddenly, Sousuke spun around and pinned the other boy against the wall. His eyes widened as Sousuke's narrowed.

"One more thing," Sousuke growled. "I don't know what kind of sick game you're playing with Rin's head, but it stops now! I don't care what you have to do. I don't care how much you hate it. You need to decide to be a professional swimmer! Get on with your life and let Rin get on with his! I don't know why he's so obsessed with making sure you have a future, but you'd better get a future real quick." He grabbed the collar of Haru's jacket. "If I don't hear word of your decision by tomorrow, things are going to get real ugly real quick. Do. You. Understand?" His face was mere inches away from Haru's. The boy seemed to shrink beneath his lofty height and firm grip, but he stared back obstinately.

Sousuke let go of Haru and stalked away toward the vending machine. Haru, whose face would never let on that his heart was racing, walked towards the glass doors and exited the hotel. Once he got outside, he started to run. All of his thoughts and emotions blended together as he ran as fast as he could, heart pounding, breath gasping, muscles aching. He tried to escape Rin's voice echoing in his head, yelling at him. He tried to run off the dread of Sousuke's threats. The guy looked really serious.

He passed restaurants and schools and shops and light-posts. He saw groups of friends hanging out together, and he felt a rush of guilt as he thought about the worry he must be causing Makoto right now. But he shook it off and kept going. He was so conflicted, and he didn't know what to do. Normally he would go and swim, except that he didn't have access to a pool at this hour. Plus, for some reason swimming was the last thing he wanted to do. So he ran. And ran. And ran.

He must have run for forty minutes straight through the heavily lit streets. He made his way down darker streets, and into a densely wooded park. Finally, his body could take no more and he collapsed onto a park bench. The park had scarce lighting, so the bright moon was the only reason he could see. Panting, he took in his surroundings and assessed his situation. He was approximately forty minutes away from his hotel and he had no idea where he was.

Haru took in a shuddering breath and let it out again. Standing, he started walking slowly towards the direction he had come. Maybe he'd find a map once he got back onto the city streets. He walked aimlessly for ten minutes, letting his feet wander wherever they wanted to go. He finally found a lighted street, and he began walking along it. His mind felt numb, and his heart felt like it was shriveling up. One foot in the front of the other, he plodded on.

As he went to take another step forward, a sharp pain ripped through his ankle. He nearly fell, but he grabbed a street signed and staggered. He tentatively put a bit of weight on his right ankle and immediately retracted it when the pain came back. It felt like he had pulled a muscle in it. Great.

He stood there for several minutes before he forced himself to keep moving forward. Every step was a shock to his nervous system, but he gritted his teeth and kept going. He noticed a map a few hundred feet later, and found a route that would only take him twenty minutes to get back to the hotel. He wished for once that he had brought his cell phone with him. He wanted to call Makoto. Haru was no good at navigating naps. He didn't like walking alone at night. These were all things he only did with Makoto at his side. He did almost everything with Makoto at his side.

"They're all going to leave you, one by one! They're going to go to big cities to attend college and chase careers!" Rin's words sent a knife through Haru's heart. It hurt worse than his ankle, and it weighed his steps down. The silence was deafening, closing in on him. On top of that, it was getting really chilly out. Despite his jacket, Haru found himself shivering. He kept going, thoughts of a worried Makoto his only motivator.

After what felt like hours, he walked into the front door of the hotel. The lights were all dimmed and the staff were nowhere in sight. Haru limped over to the elevator and pressed the button. The doors opened immediately and he dragged himself inside. Leaning against the wall, he took pressure off of his right foot and nearly sighed in relief. His throat hurt, his nose was stuffed up, and his whole body was freezing and sore. He forced himself down the hallway to the room that he and Makoto shared and opened the door. He hoped Makoto was asleep. He didn't want to have to face him right now.

The light was still on, and Makoto was sitting indian style on his bed, reading a book. Rei was in a chair playing with his phone, and Nagisa was lying flat on his back on the floor, spinning his finger in time with the ceiling fan. They a looked up. "Haru!" Nagisa squealed.

Makoto tossed the book down and rushed over. "Haru! You've been gone for hours! Where were you?" His eyes scanned the boy over. "You look awful!"

"You had us worried sick!" Rei added, walking over. "Haru, you look rather cold. And you're standing in an unnatural position."

"Just tired. I'm going to take a shower," Haru said through gritted teeth. He walked past his teammates and grabbed a towel and some clothes to sleep in before heading to the bathroom. Makoto watched him helplessly, torn between leaving his friend in the solitude that he clearly wanted, or forcing Haru to open up and tell him what was wrong. He decided to leave him be until he finished showering.

"Should we wait for him?" Nagisa asked, looking at the closed bathroom door. He sounded upset. They were all upset. Haru disappeared a lot, but never at this hour and for this long. The sound of the shower running filled the quiet atmosphere.

"I think it would be best if you two went and got some sleep. I can handle Haru tonight. He'll get overwhelmed if it's all three of us." Rei nodded in agreement. He and Nagisa headed to the door.

"Bye Haru! We'll see you tomorrow morning! I hope you feel better!" Nagisa called, banging on the bathroom door.

"Nagisa, don't yell! It's the middle of the night!" Rei hissed, grabbing the blond's pink hoodie and dragging him out of the door!

"Night Mako!"

"Good night Makoto!"

"Night!" Makoto replied tiredly. He couldn't help but smile at those two. He climbed back into his bed and stared at the ceiling. He was exhausted, and he struggled to keep his eyes opened. He had waited for Haru for two hours, what was another fifteen minutes? However, without Rei and Nagisa to keep him accountable, Makoto was snoring within three minutes.

Meanwhile, Haru was leaning against the wall of the shower, water running through his hair and into his eyes, which were already blurred from tears.

"Bye Haru! We'll see you tomorrow morning! I hope you feel better!" he heard Nagisa called. He winced. What about the days when Nagisa wouldn't be saying that anymore? This was their last summer together!

"Haru! You've been gone for hours! Where were you?" Makoto must have been worried sick. Haru felt horribly guilty. His friends had been sitting there and waiting for Haru the whole time. Makoto was probably waiting for Haru right now, planning on forcing him to spill what was bothering him. The hot water burned against Haru's frozen skin, but he didn't care. It only added to the soreness of his ankle, which had travelled all the way up his calf. Add his acidic-feeling throat and throbbing heart to the mix, and there was a symphony of pain.

He had made Rin upset. Rin who was confident, who knew what the future had in store for him, who was following his dream. What was Haru's dream? He didn't know… But he didn't think competitive swimming was right for him. Sure he was good, but he'd have to get better. He'd have to constantly practice and improve. Swimming would become an obligation, a way of making ends meet. It wouldn't be fun at all. It wouldn't be soothing, it wouldn't be fun. It wouldn't be free.

Then there was the fame. He didn't want everyone to know his name, and know his times. Mostly, he didn't want to hurt any more people. Maybe Rin hadn't quit swimming because of him, but not being able to beat Haru had caused Rin a lot of strife. It had caused Sousuke a lot of strife too. And now Sousuke was threatening him. What if Haru chose to competitively swim and he wasn't good enough? What if he disappointed Rin? College was a whole different ball ground. He didn't want Rin to worry. He didn't want to keep Rin from his dream.

Everyone was obsessed with times and with beating him. What if Haru just swam his best because he loved it, and he ended up beating some other young kids whose dreams were to become famous swimmers. What if him winning kept other people from qualifying. How much more heartache and strife would he have to cause? On top of that, Haru didn't even like competitive swimming. He liked the relay, because his friends were there. But his friends were all going to leave him. He also liked swimming with Rin, but that was also because Rin was his friend, and that was just the way they worked. Competitive swimming wasn't his dream. But he could do it well. What if he prevented other people from reaching their dreams just because he was a little faster?

After thirty minutes, Haru couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't take the pain, and he couldn't handle his thoughts. He turned off the shower, dried himself off, and changed into his pajamas. He limped over to his bed, passing a sleeping Makoto. He thanked his lucky stars that Makoto was asleep. He had looked so tired, and Haru didn't want him asking questions that he didn't have answers to. He practically collapsed onto the bed. He hadn't even turned the light off, but he was so exhausted that he was asleep within seconds.

###

The next morning, Haruka awoke to Makoto's alarm going off. The brown-haired boy reached over and turned it off before sitting up and glancing over at Haru, who was curled up in a fetal position underneath the covers. Makoto frowned as he crossed the room. He reached down to put a hand on Haru's shoulder. "Haru, it's time to wake u-"

"I'm awake," Haru responded shortly. Makoto's hand froze and then retracted. He and Haru got ready for the day silently. They didn't say a word as they headed down to the hotel's restaurant for breakfast. Rei and Nagisa met them there.

"Haru!" Nagisa exclaimed while jumping on his friend. Haru held back a grunt as the extra weight was added to his ankle.

"Are you feeling better? Rei asked, adjusting his glasses. "You've got a race to win today!"

"We all have races to win today!" Makoto reminded them to save Haru from having to answer. That made Haru feel a little worse, because even when he was ignoring Makoto and pushing him away, the kind-hearted soul kept looking out for him. "So eat up!"

"Yeah!" Nagisa cheered, shoving a fork into his pancakes. Nagisa was so distracting that Makoto didn't have a chance to examine Haru and try to figure out what was wrong. When a beaming Gou and Ms. Amakata came over, he was pulled into a hearty conversation about the competition. He glanced over at Haru occasionally, and the boy seemed to be eating a little so that was good.

Meanwhile, Haru was inwardly dying. Seeing Rei and Nagisa's bright faces and watching Makoto worry about him just layered on the guilt. He didn't want to let them down. He didn't want to make them worry. His throat was still sore and everything he ate tasted awful and hurt going down. He could feel a cold coming on. He refused to acknowledge it though. It was the middle of summer, he couldn't get sick! His ankle hurt, but unlike yesterday the pain was bearable. He hid it to the best of his ability.

Eventually, Haru stood and walked over to the garbage can. He dumped a good two thirds of his breakfast into it. He couldn't bear to eat any more than that. He returned to the table and sat silently, hands in his lap. Occasionally Nagisa would say something and elbow him and Haru would grunt in response.

He felt like there was a lead weight in his stomach. Surely no one could swim with such added weight. The very thought of swimming made him feel a bit sick. He wasn't prepared to take the icy plunge. He didn't want to feel the water's fangs pierce him like icy knives. He didn't want to beat somebody who's dream was to go to Nationals when Haru didn't even care. He didn't want the scouts to notice him and give him offers that even he knew he would be stupid to refuse.

But looking around at his friends' faces, Haru knew he had to swim. He couldn't not swim. He would just make them more worried and upset. Makoto wouldn't do well in his own events out of worry. Nagisa would be upset and lose his usual spark. It would drag Rei down to see the person he was inspired by quit. He would hurt Rin. He would anger Sousuke.

He was the guy who swam, so swim he must. He just hoped he'd be able to make it through the day.