Straight from the diary of my deceased cousin, John. Rest in peace.

The Squid Sisters were my favorite characters from Splatoon, from what I had seen from promotional art and various other… Erm, sources. That is, until I witnessed something horrifying. Oh God, I can hear them now. I have to make this quick.

It all started when I purchased a copy of Splatoon from a shady garage sale. I was always interested in the game, but had never gotten around to buying it.

"Excuse me, how much for this?" I asked the man currently at the cashier.

He stared at the box in my hands and stayed silent for a while. "Five dollars," he said finally.

"Are you sure?" I asked. "I mean, the game usually goes at retail for much more, and this seems brand n-"

"Five dollars." He said firmly.

I shrugged. His call. After I handed over the five dollars, I drove home, satisfied with my purchase.

As soon as I got home, I sat down in front of my television and started up the WiiU. I slid the Splatoon disc in after ejecting the Super Smash Bros. WiiU disc that had been there. The disc looked a bit off, but I passed it off as simply being a part of the disc being pre-owned.

The disc had red and black squids instead of the usual purple and lime green. In the background, there was some sort of reddish liquid dripping down. It was hyper-realistic and appeared to be blood.

I watched as the tutorial opened up. Something seemed off about that, too, since there was hysteric laughter in the background and what sounded like someone pleading for their life. Oh, and the ink was blood red. And hyper-realistic.

The tutorial progressed as usual, aside from the mentioned oddities. However, when the title screen was shown and I held ZL+ZR as instructed, things really started getting odd.

Callie and Marie appeared on screen, like they do every time you start up the game. This time was odd, however, was that Marie had bblack eyes with glowing red pupils./b I shrugged it off as a texture glitch or some sort of temporary Halloween update. For some reason, Callie appeared to be afraid of Marie, and was stepping back away from her.

"No, no, stay away!" Callie's text read.

"Aww, is little Callie-wallie afraid?" Marie's text read as her model moved closer to Callie. She produced what seemed to be a knife and continued advancing on Callie.

The screen faded to black and footsteps echoed. A piercing scream rang out from my television, and then some squelching noises. I winced. The screen faded back in, and Marie was the only sister there. She was now covered in a red, ink-like substance that looked like bHYPER-REALISTIC BLOOD!/b I freaked out when I saw that. Wasn't it supposed to be a kid's game...? Why was this happening?

"This is Marie, live from Inkopolis," Marie's textbox read. "From now on, I'll be the only host of the Squid Sisters show. Callie has gotten into a little... Accident."

I shivered as I watched Marie ramble on about various subjects. Eventually, more Inklings broke onto the scene, seemingly trying to take Marie down.

She laughed. "You think you can defeat me…? Fools, my existence is far above yours." Marie proceeded to slaughter the Inklings, on camera. Red ink poured onto the floor. Heads rolled. One Inkling got a super speshul cutscene of them getting gored, just for them, while they screamed for mercy!

At this point, I was terrified. I hadn't tried shutting down the WiiU, so that was my first resort. It wouldn't power down.

"You think it'd be that simple to get away from me?" Marie asked. She seemed much more 3D now. "Well, it's too late for that." Marie lunged at me from out of the television. I screeched and ran like an Inkbrush user from a Kraken.

I locked myself in my room and began to write this. Somewhere along the trail, Callie joined Marie and they're now trying to break down my door. I hear them laughing and telling me to join them.

I leave all of my belongings to my cat, Whiskers. He's the only one who truly understood me, as the rest of my family sucks and I want them to suffer. They've broken down my door now. Goodby-