Yeah, this one's a bit—okay , a lot—shorter than the first chapter. In my defense, that was the first chapter. …The next chapter will probably be longer than this one too… So this is just a midget chapter. Midgets need love too! D:

Edit (07-25-09): FAIL! I forgot the footnote, sorry.

The Secret Serpent

Recap:

Throwing himself onto his bed, he allowed a few tears to escape, but not many. He sniffled for a few minutes, then sat up and rubbed his nose, deciding that he'd only brought this upon himself, and he needed to somehow make this up to his mate. He couldn't do anything remotely sexual, because Seto would still be feeling guilty and probably wouldn't be in the mood for a good while yet.

And then he remembered what Yugi had said and he wondered if it would work. He… he was a little curious about it now. After all… you didn't have to be seme to be on top.

Lemon!

Seto frowned, then stopped the blond from moving forcibly. "Joey… Are you doing this because you're sorry?"

Joey whined. "No, I wanna have sex with ya! I had my reasons, but—" Growling, he glared at the other boy. "You let me move or I'm gonna bite ya, Seto."

The brunet groaned, eyes fluttering shut, but he vowed to bring this conversation back up later. …Much later.

Chapter 2

Mokuba sighed and scrubbed at his eyes for a few seconds as he trudged toward the living room, then yawned. "Seto, I'm home from—" He stopped in horror, then quickly covered his eyes again. "OH MY GOD MY EYES!"

At that, Joey snapped wide awake from his dozing and turned his head, horrified. "M-Mokuba, y-you—"

"You perverts, just goin' around screwing wherever you want to! There's still a minor living here!" the boy wailed, turning his back to them quickly. "I didn't need to come in and see my brother and his boyfriend post-coitus!"

"Mokuba, stop yelling," Seto sighed, giving the blond on top of him a soft pat on the butt. "We've still got most of our clothes on and you can't really see anything."

Mokuba spun back to him, sputtering angrily. "So I should be okay with seeing it?! You blinded me!"

"Then I suppose the porn I found under your mattress is blinding too, so I should take it away from you, right?" The brunet narrowed his eyes. "I know you like to think you're smarter than me, Mokuba, but I believe we're on an even playing field. You and I win against the other just as much as we lose."

At this, the younger boy blushed and scowled a little. "Do you know how much I had to pay someone to go in and buy those for me?!"

"Less than your entire monthly allowance." Seto raised an eyebrow at him. "Do you think I don't keep tabs on you?"

Joey blushed even more and hid his face in the other teen's chest, groaning softly. That meant that Seto knew he was the one buying the porn for him, too.

"Yes, I know, I'll punish both of you equally," the brunet cooed, giving him another pat on the butt. "Mokuba will have his videogames taken away for a week and you will find yourself with one less cell phone."

"You-! Ya can't do that t' me! I got plans with the others—" the younger teen began, brows furrowing together when the brunet merely smirked at him. "…Seto…"

Mokuba raised an eyebrow. "…Do I get to keep my porn?"

Seto shrugged carelessly. "If I don't find it under your mattress again. Really, Mokuba, did you think I was an idiot?"

"…A kid can hope," the younger boy mumbled, then sighed and turned to go put his videogames away; he wanted to be there when Seto tried to take away Joey's cell phone, but he knew that that could most likely end in bloodshed, so he wanted to stay well out of the way of that.

Joey watched him go, still more than a little embarrassed about being caught after sex, then started to get up, but then the brunet yanked him back down, scowling. "Eep! Seto, what-?"

"You said you were sorry." The older boy's angry expression turned into a frown of concern. "Did you have sex with me because you were sorry, puppy? Or to make me feel badly for spanking you?"

The blond scowled a little, then tried to stand again. "That is not why I did it, ya jerk, so—"

"Then why are you sorry?"

Hearing the complete and utter confusion in his mate's voice, Joey looked back at him, then sighed and relaxed again. "I'm sorry I didn't tell ya I'd made my decision. I just… I wanted t' tell ya at the right time, and I just couldn't seem t' find it."

Seto tilted his head. "When would the right time have been, puppy? You make it seem as if I can't handle the way certain information is handed to me."

"Well ya can't," the blond stated huffily, then began to stand again. "You'd have been so happy that you'd jump my bones sayin' that we need to hurry up and get me pregnant, even after I told ya that it would take maybe a month before I could…" His nose wrinkled in distaste. "…Conceive. Why do they even use that word? It makes it seem all scientific and not at all as happy and sweet as it should be."

"Well it's a lot better than saying 'putting a bun in your oven,'" the older boy replied, for which he received a confused frown. "What?"

Joey shook his head slightly in disbelief. "Where did ya even learn that? …Scratch that, I don't wanna know…" he sighed, turning to leave as he fixed his clothes. "I'm goin' t' bed…"

"You think Mokuba doesn't make me watch movies with him?! I could have said 'your egg-o is preg-o!'" the brunet called after him.

The younger boy merely growled and mumbled something about CEO's not being allowed to go so long without sleep. Then, he decided he should have a talk with Mokuba; perhaps if he offered to continue buying him porn as long as he didn't make Seto watch any movies like that anymore, they'd all be one big happy family. And Seto wouldn't be spouting nonsense and stupidity.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto jumped as he heard his phone start ringing, then dove for the bedside table, still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He let out a curse as he hit his head on the lamp, knocking it off the table, and rubbed the back of his head, reaching for the phone. However, without one of his arms down to stabilize him, he was left tumbling to the floor with the phone in hand. This was soon followed by a stream of curses so violent that he could sense the feeling of insecurity of the person on the other line.

"What?! For the love of God, WHAT?!" he shouted, once the throbbing in his body had faded a little, and he slapped around for his alarm clock. "It's two o'clock in the morning, you—"

"C-c-could I talk to J-Joey please?"

Seto blinked for a few moments, confused, before he scowled. "What the hell is going on, Yugi? Is the world in danger again?"

"I'm sorry, Kaiba! I thought this was just Joey's number! If I had known that it was just the household number, I would have—"

"Why are you calling my house at two o'clock in the morning?" the brunet asked shortly. He was tired and sore; fighting to get the cell phone out of Joey's hands was getting to be too much of a chore. …He should probably find a different punishment for him soon.

"Well… Joey told me to call him to make sure he was okay. He said he wasn't sure if…"

"JOEY WHEELEEEEEEEEER!"

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey smirked, then snuggled down under his covers, confident that his doors could withstand whatever pounding Seto gave them—including the magic beating he would most likely use when he realized that he'd taken the time to enforce them before Yugi had called. And, because he'd soundproofed them with some oh-so-convenient magic, his sleep wouldn't be disturbed. Grabbing the phone, he lifted it to his ear and sighed. "Thanks, Yug'."

"You're welcome. …Um… Could you never ask me to do this again? Kaiba sounded really mad…"

"No prob', Yug'. Have a goodnight," he added, still smiling, before he set the phone down. Curious to hear what the brunet was shouting, he lifted the spell a little.

Just in time to hear, "Joey Wheeler, I'm going to kill you! Don't think I won't! You little—"

Humming carelessly, he put the spell back up and snuggled down again. "That'll teach you t' spank me and take away my cell phone, ya prick."

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Hey Jo-! …Joey, what happened!?" Yugi exclaimed in concern, getting up from his desk quickly.

Joey, despite his black eye and bloody lip, smirked and waved him off. "Nothin'. I just showed my mate that he's only the dominant one in our relationship because I let him be."

"…Joey, he split your lip…" the smaller boy pointed out, frowning.

"…Actually, he was tryin' t' kiss me goodbye before I got outta the limo, but I was still a little pissed, so I tried t' leave without finishin' it. He bit my lip t' keep me from leavin'." The blond blushed a little and rubbed the back of his head. "The black eye is actually from him fightin' t' get my cell phone."

Bakura raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Why not just heal yourself?"

The teen smiled brightly and shrugged. "Well, when he sees the bruises he accidentally leaves on me, he feels bad, and it's sort of easier t' deal with him that way."

"…Joey, that's horrible," Téa stated, making him flinch a little. "And you wonder why he gets mad at you?"

"…But I know exactly why he gets mad at me," Joey stated softly, looking confused.

She rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in defeat. "Never mind! Boys are hopeless!" She blinked as she heard a couple of disbelieving snorts, then scowled and turned toward Yami and Bakura in frustration. "You think you were any better when you were mooning after Yugi and Ryou?"

"I was not mooning!" Bakura snarled, glaring at her.

"Uh huh. And I'm the queen of England," she replied, glaring at him, before huffing and turning her attention back to the others.

The former thief appeared smug at this, but the smug smile soon fell to an expression of horror when he saw the hurt look on his beloved's face. "H-hikari, I—"

"Oh, shove it!" Ryou exclaimed angrily, smacking him in the face with a book, before huffing as well and turning his attention to anyone that wasn't his boyfriend.

Bakura looked horrified. "Ryou!"

"Would it kill you to be romantic just once!?" the younger boy snarled, turning a glare on him again. "I mean, even Kaiba can be romantic, and he's so socially awkward he might as well go backward!"

Joey seemed offended by this himself. "Hey! He's not that bad!" However, when his friends merely gave him the most skeptical looks they could, he sighed and sat back in his chair, mumbling about how sometimes they could be such jerks, and how Seto wasn't that bad.

Yugi, to diffuse the situation that he could just tell was going to occur, leaned forward. "Did you see the unicorn today, Joey?"

The blond huffed, still more than a little annoyed, then sighed in defeat; he couldn't stay mad at those big violet eyes for too long. "No, I was too busy this mornin' dealin' with the aftermath of 'Pissed Off Seto.' I'm gonna go see him after school."

"Would it be okay if I came with you?" Téa asked quickly, and blushed a little when everyone looked at her in surprise. Huffing, she crossed her arms. "Well, you all got to go and see all of the creatures there. And I've always wanted to see a unicorn!"

"…I don't think there would be anything wrong with that," Joey answered, smiling at her. "Besides, ya did help me out with Serenity." He winced a little at the reminder and suddenly turned toward his other friend. "Tristan, are ya—" When the brunet only grunted, he sighed. "Man, I'm sorry."

"If Duke's too much of a pussy to stick around and see how you react to him liking you, you shouldn't even bother chasing after him." Téa scowled, reaching over to poke him in the forehead.

Tristan flinched backward. "Ow!"

"Let him come crawling back to you like the stupid bastard he is. Really, where would you guys be without me?" She raised an eyebrow. When she saw the boys frantically trying to come up with an answer that wouldn't be offensive, she sighed in exasperation. "Rhetorical question." As they all sighed in relief, she rolled her eyes. "Idiots."

"…Anyone else wanna come t' Mythaven?" Joey asked quickly, before she could ask any other rhetorical questions that would no doubt make them feel stupid.

Ryou smiled brightly. "I'd like to go! Those franks were pretty cute!"

"Oh! And Téa can meet Joy, too!" Yugi added. "I've missed him! He's always doing something adorable!"

"You mean that Petit Dragon?! I looked up a picture on the internet and those are so cute!" she squealed, clasping her hands together.

Joey couldn't help a small chuckle. Really, in the matter of some of their mythical friends, they could all be such ditzy little girls.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto ran a hand through his hair, trying to keep his concentration on his computer screen. However, he was having a terrible time. He just couldn't figure out why. He just kept feeling waves of jealousy and anger toward his puppy, though he had no idea why; his mate would never cheat on him, would never be unfaithful, hadn't done anything too bad to upset him recently… so why did he feel this way?

It was time to get out of the office, perhaps go on a walk. He'd need to go see Soumya soon, though. He knew that Joey would try to be understanding, but he could only push him around to show his dominance in the relationship so much, and it was times like these that he thanked every deity that existed that Joey was much like his dragon in that aspect; he only showed his true dominance when his mate (Seto) did something incredibly stupid (like try and take away his cell phone).

Luckily, Seto's moments of idiocy were few and far between.

Pulling on his coat, Seto sighed as he began out of his office. "Hold all of my calls, please. I'm losing my mind in there."

"Yes sir," his secretary answered obediently. She'd noticed how restless and antsy he'd been recently.

Not to mention he'd been taking to growling when he was pissed, and purring when he was happy; she'd be lying if she said that the purring didn't creep her out.

Seto didn't quite know where he was going, but he decided the park might be a good idea. He'd found that watching the children play and imagining his children someday doing the same had a very calming affect. Not only did it calm him, but it soothed all of his jealous and angry fears; Joey loved him enough to carry their children, so he would never cheat on him or anything like that.

He blinked in surprise as he felt his cell phone vibrate, then frowned and pulled it out. However, now that he thought of it, it would probably be about lunchtime for his still school-bound lover and his friends. "Hello?"

"Hey, pookie!"

"…Please don't call me that," he replied, sighing, and sank onto one of the park benches. He could still remember the first time the blond had called him that. It still irked him, but he was more resigned to his fate than most would have thought. …Being called 'pookie' just meant that there was a possibility he wouldn't like whatever his lover told him. "What is it?"

"Well, fine, if that's the way you're gonna greet me—"

"Joey." Seto narrowed his eyes. "I'm not joking. Tell me what it is you're afraid I'll get angry at and get it over with. I don't want to listen to you babble about that new painting you're doing again."

He heard a huff on the other line. "Fine! I was just callin' t' let ya know that me, Yug', Ryou, and Téa are gonna go t' Mythaven after school, so I won't be home right away. The unicorn's gonna check if I'm pregnant, and then we're gonna introduce Téa t' Joy, and the franks."

"Ah. …How's Tlipo doing, anyway?" the brunet asked, leaning back on the bench and resting his free hand behind his head. He just felt like listening to the other boy speak right now.

"Oh! Well, he's doin' okay. Apparently it's fashionable t' get pregnant now, though. I mean, Kankana's pregnant, I'm tryin' t' get pregnant. …The frank got pregnant…"

"Oh. …Well, at least you know your female reproductive system thing works." Seto really didn't know what to say, but as soon as it slipped out of his mouth, he knew it didn't sound as stupid in his head.

"…Yeah." There was an awkward pause that the brunet blamed himself for completely. "…Anyway. So it may be a couple of hours 'til I get home after school. Ya know how Kankana likes talkin' t' new people."

"You wouldn't mind if I got off early and came to join you?" Seto asked, frowning. "I need to talk to Soumya. I think it's important; perhaps something he didn't tell me or the book didn't explain."

"Aw, you just wanna see the new babies that Akai and the girls have." Joey's voice was incredibly happy. "I swear, Seto, they're so cute! Little Red-Eyes White Dragons and Blue-Eyes Black Dragons runnin' around everywhere-! Oh! And they've got a couple of Purple-Eyes Grey Dragons [1]! They're really cute! You should see 'em!"

"…Ha… Right. I'll make sure to look in on them then." The brunet smiled a little. He hadn't realized until Joey had come back from a visit to Mythaven a while ago that the blond loved babies and children so much. Especially dragon babies. …Though that would explain his affection for Joy…

"—so hopefully you'll— Seto? Are ya listenin' t' me?"

"What? Yes. Of course I am." Seto blinked, then frowned. "…What did you say after 'Grey Dragons?'"

"I said that we'll wait for ya at the game shop! Jeez, Seto, what's got ya so distracted, anyway? Where are ya?"

The brunet tilted his head slightly. "…Watching small children play on the playground closest to my bulding?"

"Oh. …Well, try not t' take too long on the way t' the game shop, okay? Because Téa really wants t' see a unicorn, and then we're introducin' her t'— Why do ya need t' see Soumya? How important is it?"

"Ah… Not too important. I could probably hang around with you for a while before I make my antisocial self disappear, if that's what you're asking." He smiled a little when he heard the blond's playful giggle crackle over the line. "Of course, who knows how long I'll get to stay before the others beat me away from you, determined that I'm going to have sex with you no matter who's watching."

"Don't say stuff like that, ya pervert!"

"Joey? Is something wrong?"

"Ah—I gotta go, Seto! Lunch is gonna be over soon and I gotta eat!"

Seto raised an eyebrow, still smiling. "Really? But I thought you had an hour and a half lunch, because you didn't need to take as many classes this year and you had a free period—"

"What?! You're breakin' up! I can't hear ya!"

The brunet chuckled softly as the other boy hung up and did the same, letting his head fall back. "I've got such a sweet puppy…"

He really needed to talk to Soumya about this obsessive possessiveness he had over his puppy, though. He had a feeling that this could lead to problems if it wasn't dealt with soon. He didn't want to embarrass Joey, or worse—hurt him.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey blushed brightly and quickly shut his phone. "Pervert!"

"What? Who are you talking about?"

The blond blushed even more and looked up at his friends quickly like a deer in the headlights. "…Seto, just… Sometimes he says such embarrassin' things!"

"…He mentioned something about having sex with you in Mythaven, didn't he?" Yugi asked, frowning. When his friend buried his face in his hands, he sighed. "I knew it. You have to get over that, Joey. Kaiba. Likes. Sex."

"Don't say that word it doesn't sound right comin' from ya!" Joey exclaimed, flailing about wildly.

Téa opened her mouth to scold him, then frowned. "…I won't lie, Yugi; it really doesn't sound right coming from you. …Or Ryou."

Tristan crossed his arms and nodded his agreement. "You and Ryou should be banned from cursing and saying words that make primary-school kids blush."

Ryou and Yugi glanced at each other skeptically. "…Right."

As if the others could dictate what they could and couldn't say.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

[1] It's all simple genetics; it's more likely to have Red-Eyes Various Body Color and Blue-Eyes Various Body Color dragon babies than it is to have a Purple-Eyes Gray Dragon. However, it is possible. Yay! I actually did something with all that genetic crap I learned in biology!