A/N; Yay! Other Duncan sympathizers. I figured Duncan might lose the trademark hair - even though he'd look weird with a buzzcut, there is no way he could upkeep his style in prison and plus, his 'bad boy' style is what is holding him back from being the nice guy he really is. And the irony of this fic is that he will be becoming that nice guy in prison, around all the badddd dudes (who aren't really that bad when you get to know them). Basically, I'd want Duncan to have a better time in prison than Chris did, because then Total Drama would be WORSE than prison, which would be funny.

Summary: Want to know what Duncan is up to know he's in "big boy" prison? Wonder no longer! Duncan makes new friends, tries to arrange conjugal visits and does art and craft! Life really does get better after prison.

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Adventures from Prison


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Duncan gets the brush off.

For Duncan things were going better than expected. The only thing he missed the most was his hair, but with no in-prison salon (well, not one that could do the things he wanted) he was stuck buzzing it off.

He guessed in his most bored hours he missed Gwen... but mostly his hair. So he decided to give Gwen a call when he got his weekly phone-call later. He wasn't even sure if she'd pick up but he didn't think she'd make it to the final two, no offense to Gwen. She was a fighter and all, but she didn't believe him about evil Mal, so that meant she was probably a goner by now.

And just as he hoped, there was her groggy voice even though it was only two in the afternoon. "Hello?"

"Heyyy babe. You got eliminated!"

"Duncan?" Gwen seemed genuinely surprised. She seemed to falter for things to say and finally decided on, "How are things in prison?"

"Great," and he wasn't just saying that... mostly. It was prison, but it wasn't as bad as he thought it was going to be... so far. "G-Thro- er- Gary, he's been teaching me how to make the cell real cosy, and a group of the other guys totally know what a tool Chris is, so they've been making me feel welcome."

"Good for you."

"So when are you coming for a conjugal visit?" said Duncan leaning his arm on the wall and hoping for a good response since, you know, chicks were confusing and all. One minute they were into you and the next they were dumping you on television.

"Um, never," came Gwen's voice on the other end of the phone.

"Come on babe. I'm dying in here. Just come for one visit, I'll make it worth your while."

"No way Duncan. Look, I'm sorry that we didn't believe you about Mike but there's no way I'm making it up to you by sleeping with you."

Duncan groaned. Since when was Gwen such a hardass? "Come on. It's not like you've never done it before."

"Duncan, I said no. We're not together anymore."

"So who are you with now then? The pencil dude from All-Stars?"

"The pencil dude?"

"You know, Cameron. The guy who's like a talking pencil."

Gwen laughed. "I'm not together with Cameron, we're just friends."

"Then who? Don't tell me you got back together with Trent," Duncan said. That couldn't be right, Trent was kind of a psycho and really she should have realized that anybody would be a step down after dating him. If Trent wasn't a disappointment before he'd be even more of a disappointment because she'd dated Duncan and Duncan was the man and all losers paled by comparison - in Duncan's humble opinion.

Clearly Gwen didn't feel the same way. "Look Duncan, I'm hanging up now," Gwen said skillfully avoiding the question.

"Come on Gwen, just one visit! I'm starting to think that nobody remembers I'm in here!"

"I'm sorry Duncan," Gwen said sounding genuinely disappointed for him. "Look, I'll get word around and someone else from the show will visit you soon, I promise."

"Courtney?" Duncan asked with a hopeful voice.

Gwen sighed. "You do know she's with Scott now right?"

"Oh." Yeah of course she was. He should have known that. "You know, you kind of owe me."

"For what Duncan? You ogling my best friend while we were dating?"

"Courtney's your best friend?" He supposed they'd made up and were acting pretty chummy before he got arrested if he really thought about it. It had been weird but he never thought they were that close. Apparently he never thought a lot of things that were coming true. And damn, he just admitted to ogling Courtney. That sucked.

"Yes, she is. Look, I'll make sure people go visit you Duncan. Enjoy prison, okay?"

"Enjoy?" But Duncan knew that she'd already hung up. "Gah! Dammit! Snuggle bunnies!" He bashed the phone receiver on the wall. This sucked... maybe G-Throat could make it up to him by teaching him how to make his pillow smell less of steel shavings.


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Up next: Duncan gets a mystery visitor.