Chapter Two.

BELLA POV.

I never actually thought I could do this to myself. In every school probably in American, there was at least one teenager who cut themselves. Was there in Forks? Probably not. Everyone in my school was just an ordinary teenager. Then again, I never really took a good look at anyone but my friends and the Cullens. Maybe I would be the first one?

So many thoughts ran through my head when I was trying to make a decision on what to do. I realized I had no one to talk to, nowhere to go, nothing. My purpose for life was over and has been over. I didn't care what people thought about me these days. I overheard a lot of people whispering about me when I walked down the hallways; only making the emotional pain worse.

It seemed emotional pain was almost as bad as physical pain. I remember once, when I was 12 years old, my mom was cleaning the kitchen and dropped a glass onto the ground. I wasn't even paying attention and stepped right onto a giant chard of glass. It hurt; Bad. This pain was worse. The pain in my mind, the pain in my heart, was ten times worse than the pain of the glass slitting through my foot that day. I had no friends, no boyfriend, no family. It seemed like even my own father didn't bother anymore.

I wanted to cope with this terrible aching pain. If I could get rid of the emotional pain I've felt for so long, for the aching, pulsing, bleeding of a cut, even if it was for 5 minutes, I would defiantly take the risk. I then took a deep breath and make a 3 inch wide cut directly on my wrist. It immediately began gushing the red, sticky blood. I felt guilt. I felt pain. I felt relieve. But I felt more than that. It was painful, there was no escaping that. But it was amazing. It hurt terrible. It was more than pain. It was excruciating. I loved every second of it.

It was like a band-aid that stopped the bleeding in my mind. Once it got too deep, the band-aid wouldn't work anymore; it would fill up and be useless. After that, you get a new band-aid to stop it all over again.

The emotional pain stopped at a halt. I felt relief. Everything that had been wrong in my life, every reason I would have had to dislike my life, every reason I would have had to be sad, mad, angry, annoyed, empty; was suddenly gone. I pushed the throbbing in my wrist aside and focused on the thoughts of how it was like a sudden cure.

I've always read and seen that cutting yourself is a bad thing. How could it possibly be? It felt amazing. And it worked indefinably. I glanced down at the cut and realized that the white towel I put over my wrist was already filled with blood; stupid washrag. I went into the bathroom and got a showering towel this time. I lay there on my bed for a long, long time, amazed at the relief.

After what seemed like only a few minutes, the throbbing, aching pain in my wrist started to subside. I was angry. I didn't want the pain in my mind to come back. Acting quickly, and stupidly, I made another cut facing the other way on my wrist, making an X. This cut felt even more horrible. It was a few mm into my wrist and blood poured out onto the towel. I started to cry because of the pain, but of course, the pain in my head went away like the snap of a finger. I was losing blood quickly and I couldn't breathe from crying so hard. The blood made me feel a little queasy but that wasn't the problem. I couldn't stop the bleeding and it was getting worse. I was feeling light headed and slowly, I began to fade into unconsciousness.

I felt something wet on my face. Oh shit! Charlie found me! I was dead. I slowly opened my eyes to see who was shaking me up and down, left and right, and pouring water on my face. I expected to be into a hospital but I reconized the very familiar bathroom. Above me, hovering, was a big, teenager; Seth Clearwater. I had no idea why he was in my house. Seth was a good kid, nice, but I hardly knew him. I looked around and saw on the ground was sitting Peroxide, scissors, gauze, medical tape, and a few other things. There was also a bandage around my wrist. I managed to choke out a few words to Seth. (she doesn't know they are werewolves yet. but they all are. yah different from the book.)

"Se-e-th" Stutter much Bella? "Wha-at are you doing h-e-re?"

"Bella. Bella are you alright? What were you thinking!" He sounded worried.

"Seth, wha-a-t are you doing in my house?" I didn't want to seem mean, since he did possibly save my life.

"Well, my parents are having dinner with Billy Black tonight. Leah and Jake are going to be there, and me too obviously. Billy asked if we should invite you and your old man. He said it would be a good way to get to know everyone, maybe be friends. I came over here to invite you since my mom told me too. I knocked on the door and no one answered. I heard a real loud sound come from upstairs and then there was nothing but silence. No one answered the door so I got worried. I came upstairs and I found you knocked out on your bedroom door, practically bleeding to death!" It took awhile to regsiter everything he just said. But i got it

"Seth, I'm sorry. But my dads at the station if you want to go get him. Ill be fine, Really." I didn't sound convincing. He probably just didn't want me to kill myself tonight, he would be the suspected murder.

"Bella, you are not fine. You almost died. That's not fine. You need to go to a hospital or something. You need to get help and have time relaxing to heal."

"I'm not going to a hospital and i'm not going to a rehab either!" I raised my voice, almost yelling.

"No, you aren't. You are going to come to my house and stay there for a while. My parents are hardly ever home these days. Neither is Leah. You can't stay here Bella. Charlie will find out." That was the truth and nothing but. Charlie would see the scars if I stayed. I didn't argue.

"What am I supposed to say to him?"

"Tell him you are staying with a friend or something." I just nodded. Too bad I didn't have any friends.

I sat up from laying on the ground and Seth picked me up, like I was weightless, and carried my down the stairs. I picked up the phone, still a little sick, and dialed the station.

"Good afternoon, Forks Police Station. How may I help you?" Denise answered. She was so kind.

"Hey Denise, Can I talk to my dad?"

"Sure thing. One second." I heard her pressing buttons to connect me to my dads office.

Finally, after what seemed forever, he picked up the phone.

"Hey Bells, what's up?"

"Hey Dad. I have a question." I prepared for the lying. I was never good with that.

"Yep."

"Can I go out with Angela for a week or two? Her family is going to a resort in the mountains and wanted to invite a friend for her." Wow. I didn't even talk to her anymore. What a lie.

"Yeah of course you can! If you need any money stop by the station." He sounded so happy I was going to do something. I felt guilty. The pain was coming back.

"Thanks Charlie, Bye!" And then I hung up the phone.

Seth carried me back upstairs laying on my bed. He cleaned up everything and I was grateful for that. I wasn't up for talking, let alone walking and cleaning. He got a small suitcase and pack what seemed like a months worth of clothes. How long was I going to stay? A while, That's for sure. He carried me back downstairs and outside into a small, black car. He looked about 18 or 19, but I knew he was only 14 or 15. He defiantly couldn't drive. But, if he got here in one piece, we would be okay. He put me in the passangers seat, put the keys in the ignition, and started driving away to La Push.


yehhuppp. thats chapter 2. i know, a little odd.

but i thought bringing seth in would be good.

since no one expected him to be any part of this story.

read and review please.

and favor