Notes: This story will be updated bi-weekly on Wednesday from this point on. Hopefully the longer chapters will make the wait easier.
Chapter Two
Kurt had no way of knowing, but he wasn't the only one going through an earth shifting experience. Sebastian was utterly captivated. There was something hauntingly beautiful about witnessing the exact moment when someone found their true self. Though it was more like Kurt was getting a small taste of the man he could become one day. He was so fragile; all it would take was one cruel remark and Kurt would revert back to hiding himself from the world. What surprised Sebastian was how he had no desire to do anything such thing. Sure Sebastian rarely held his tongue but Kurt was different somehow; he was the real deal.
Kurt obviously wasn't ready to fully embrace this new side of himself just yet. Which was a pity, because a more confident Kurt was someone Sebastian would have wanted to pursue, but he couldn't feel that way about the closeted virgin that Kurt so obviously was. Kurt might not be ready for a sexual relationship, but if Sebastian played his cards right he still could become their model for the show. It floored him even now that Kurt was almost the perfect personification of what he'd originally pictured in his mind. It was as if Sebastian had brought his vision to life in the form of Kurt and it was his destiny to wear his design. Kurt was the perfect blend of masculine and feminine. If he could harness his raw sexuality and combine it with an air of superiority, then he could become a true work of art.
It was hard to believe that such an individual rested inside Kurt – at least at first – but now, when Kurt was dressed in their brand, Sebastian could see it. Yes Kurt could become that man, and maybe with Sebastian's help, he would come to understand that potential for himself – and finally accept it.
"So, how do you feel?" asked Sebastian, whose eyes had never left Kurt, not even during his silent speculations.
"Um, I don't really know yet... everything's happening so fast," Kurt said, fidgeting nervously.
"I'm glad to see that suits fits you to a tee, Kurt," Sebastian told him.
"It's crazy how good of a fit is is Sebastian, it looks better on him than when you last wore it," Unique said impressed.
Sebastian remained silent as each of his friends made their comments. Bit by bit, Kurt's unease was chipped away to reveal a part of himself that Sebastian guessed people rarely saw.
"Should I take Angel's measurements next, Sebastian?" Sugar asked a short while later.
Once again Sebastian's eyes fell upon Kurt, who hadn't spoken a word of protest despite how he hadn't agreed to anything yet. "Aren't you getting ahead of us here, Sugar? To use his exact words; Kurt only came back to get his wallet..." He brought out the said item and held it out in front of Kurt enticingly. "Am I right?"
The hesitation on Kurt's unsure face was crystal clear; and yet he seemed totally unaware of the fact himself. Sebastian was very tempted to make it known but for some odd reason he couldn't follow through.
"Or have things changed for you, Kurt?" Sebastian asked.
Kurt's eyes darted from side to side. "I—" What could he even say? "I don't know," he finally admitted.
Sebastian shrugged at him; seemingly unaffected by Kurt's vague answer. "Then don't try to answer us now, wait for three days, but that's all we can give you so you better use them wisely."
Three days sounded like a while but in reality it wasn't that long at all. But Kurt supposed he would just have to take what he could get. Anything was better than having to face the difficult decision right now, when he was so confused that he couldn't make sense of anything, let alone his own personal wishes.
"Right, okay. Thank you," Kurt said as he took his wallet from Sebastian.
Now that Kurt had his wallet back, there was nothing left for Kurt to do but change back into his normal clothes so he could leave. He slowly made his way to the bathroom, alone and redressed himself in his original outfit. Kurt could barely look at himself in the mirror and the second he did, he instantly came to regret it. He looked wrong somehow, so out of place but that didn't make any sense. This was just his thoughts running away with him, yes that was it; he was too emotionally wound up to know what he was truly feeling. As soon as he returned home and the moment passed, everything would fall back into place.
Kurt stepped back out to find that the others hadn't waited for him, but were again spread about the studio doing their own thing. His eyes instantly sought out Sebastian, who was sitting casually at the bar, looking dangerously sexy in the dim lighting. Kurt started towards him, but as he neared the words he'd planned to idly say got caught in his throat. Instead he quietly draped the suit he'd just been wearing over the empty chair beside Sebastian. "I should go." Kurt glanced at his phone and added, "It's getting late."
At first Sebastian barely reacted to Kurt's comment, save for the slight smile that spread across his face but it was enough for Kurt to blush at him still. "All right."
When it became clear that Sebastian wasn't going to say anything else, not unless Kurt prompted him to, he knew he had worn out his welcome. In all honesty Kurt was quite relieved to get away from the confusing atmosphere. Before he made it to the door Sugar came up to say her goodbyes and her sweet nature made it possible for Kurt to give them all a genuine smile as he closed the door behind him.
The second he was out of view and alone again, Kurt took a deep breath before he bolted up the stairs, running as fast as he could. If he were to keep such a pace he knew he could make the last bus for home but as he ran down the streets, Kurt's urgency soon left him. His sprint slowed to an idle walk, and he neared the bus stop just in time to see the vehicle drive away in the distance. It was just as well though; he could use the longer walk home.
Just as Kurt had assumed, when he did reach home, his mother reamed him out for his tardiness; going to the trouble to lecture him on responsibilities and the importance of keeping his priorities in order. Kurt kept his mouth shut but just barely. He understood what his mom was trying to tell him, however forceful it came off as, but that didn't mean he agreed with her sense of values. In his mind, his mom was far too overbearing for her own good and he should have fought back more over the years. Oh well, there wasn't much he could do about it now.
Kurt headed up to his room as soon as she was done. He was deep in his thoughts and barely registered what his body was doing. He wouldn't exactly call his family dysfunctional, but it was still far from perfect. His dad, Burt Hummel, was rarely ever home, and in the case of his mom Margaret, Kurt thought she really could use a life of her own.
It was soon back to the usual for Kurt; which meant sitting on his bed with his nose in a textbook. After he spent ten minutes trying to memorize the same line though, he let out a tired sigh. Was this seriously all he had to show after years of pushing himself? Kurt had never felt so bitter before and the worst part of it was that he didn't even know what he should feel bitter about. There was essentially nothing special in his life, nothing that left even a hint of an impression with him. It was all the same, day in day out; sleep, eat, and study – in various orders.
"I can't stand this anymore. I feel like I'm drifting away," Kurt breathed.
Kurt sought a way to anchor himself and in that search he found himself in front of his mirror, staring at his reflection. The eyes that stared back him looked haunted and tired; a far cry from the empowered young man he'd seen just a few hours ago. How could he find that part of himself again, Kurt wondered? There was sadly nothing in his pathetic excuse of a wardrobe that could trigger what had happened back at the studio.
Crestfallen, Kurt pushed his bangs out of his eyes. "What am I even doing? I have no time to wallow in my own self misery like this." What would Sebastian say if he were here? (Not counting anything that came with wild sexual undertones.) The answer came back at Kurt with a flash and he could almost hear Sebastian's cocky voice in his head as the idea formed in his mind. 'What you need Kurt, is a makeover.' He might not be able to do something about his pitiful state of dress but maybe he could take a whack at his hair.
Kurt wouldn't normally dare to try to cut or even style his own hair but he was in a particularly rebellious mood. He wanted to spring free from his textbook prison, so he swiped his mom's can of hairspray and found a pair of hair cutting scissors. Of course, this was no easy undertaking; one wrong move and Kurt could end up butchering his hair.
Thankfully Kurt lived in the age of technology, where the information he needed was just the click of a computer mouse away. He soon found a very informative video online that gave step by step instructions to give himself a whole new look. It was touch and go for a while and Kurt felt like quitting more than once. His stubbornness won out in the end though and through his valiant efforts (and his mother's can of hairspray), a new Kurt Hummel was born – one whose hair had climbed to impressive heights.
Kurt grinned at himself; he looked good – more different than his usual appearance but not as much than he'd been at the studio. This was good though; it was less of a shock to Kurt's senses. He laughed lightly at the sight of himself.
"What are people going to say?" Kurt muttered as he studied his new do from every angle.
Oh well, it was too late now to try to change it back, and besides, Kurt didn't want to comb his long bangs down anymore. He was actually looking forward to seeing what other flattering ways he could style his hair from now on.
Either way he'd have to wait until tomorrow to see if anyone noticed at all. He didn't bother to go back to studying after he'd finished tidying up from his hair cut; he just wasn't in the mood. Kurt simply climbed onto his bed to silently brood since his mind was too active for him to fall asleep. He felt as if he was undergoing a transformation. Was this new side of himself someone who had what it took to be a model? More importantly, if he were to see Sebastian on a regular basis, would he be able to resist his charms? Though in all honestly the more correct question to ask himself was whether he would even want to resist Sebastian's charms.
Sebastian aside (because Kurt wasn't ready to consider what he actually thought about the man yet), whatever happened next, even if it was nothing at all, Kurt knew he couldn't waver back and forth about his decision to be their model or not. At the very least he owed that small courtesy to them, those teens who were his own age but seemed years ahead of him.
He ran his hand over his face and sighed; if this was what it felt like to have people in his life then he wasn't sure it was worth the stress.
"Something tells me that these are gonna to be be three longest days of my life."
When Sebastian had given Kurt his three day ultimatum he'd never said he would leave him all on his lonesome. Absence might make the heart grow fonder, but in the case of Kurt, it was still much too early for that. Subtly was the key here; Sebastian needed to tread very lightly around Kurt, who wasn't used to dealing with anyone on a regular basis (or so Sebastian gathered anyway). Thanks to the fact that he'd taken a peek at Kurt's daily planner in his wallet (seriously who kept things like that since smart phones had come around?), he knew exactly where to find him.
Yet when Sebastian finally managed to track Kurt down the following day, he hardly recognized him. Kurt's hair was completely different, no longer combed down with such little effort. From Sebastian's viewpoint a short distance away, he could see how Kurt's bangs were trimmed and styled up on the top of his head. Sebastian swore that Kurt had given his wardrobe better thought as well, although his colour choices were too muted for Sebastian's taste still, and the fit too baggy.
Kurt's attention was solely on the book in front of him, his shields were up, and that meant he was shut off from the rest of the world around him. It hardly surprised Sebastian that Kurt would spend his weekend at a library; it was as if that boy were stuck in a different time period – like the 1990s. Sebastian had no trouble creeping up on Kurt while his attention was on his studies, so he chose to sit back and wait for Kurt to notice he was there. Or that had been his plan, that is, until a whole fifteen minutes passed and Sebastian grew horribly bored.
He stood up and went to find a book he could read to pass the time and after he chose something, he returned to his seat. On a whim Sebastian decided to accelerate things on his own; slamming the book down on the table right across from Kurt. That got a reaction out of him finally as Kurt jumped from the sudden noise.
Kurt was about to give whoever had interrupted his reading so rudely a piece of his mind, but as soon as he saw who was seated across from him his brain went blank. Sebastian was sitting directly in front of him and acting as if his being there was nothing out of the ordinary; was he some sort of mirage?
"Why isn't this a nice surprise; us meeting like this, Kurt," Sebastian said innocently.
"How did you-" Kurt sputtered; he needed to stop babbling and pull himself together. "How did you know I'd be here?"
Sebastian waved the question aside. "Don't worry about the details Kurt, and try to believe in a little serendipity."
"You looked at my day planner didn't you?" There was no answer, but Sebastian's smug smile was all the confirmation Kurt needed.
"Believe whatever you wish, if makes you feel better. Meanwhile, I'm going to read, since we are in a library."
Kurt narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Sebastian; what was his angle here? There was no telling with how his mind probably operated. At least they were in a library, so Sebastian couldn't make too much of a scene.
"You can go back to studying Kurt, I promise not to bother you," Sebastian said.
That hardly seemed likely to Kurt, who wasn't quick to trust anyone, let alone someone he'd described as a narcissistic playboy the day before. Nevertheless, Kurt willed himself to put Sebastian and everything else out of his mind so he could study for his upcoming exam. It would take more than a pair of enticing green eyes to lure Kurt Hummel astray. Since Sebastian's sentiment seemed to be real, at least for the time being, Kurt turned his attention back to the open book in front of him. He began to read each line until it was burned into his memory, going onto the next, until he'd finished a whole section. Kurt allowed himself a quick glance, just to see if Sebastian was still there and to his amazement he was, reading his book and looking as gorgeous as ever.
Kurt quickly averted his gaze before Sebastian could notice, because god only knew how Sebastian would torment him then. He was already affecting Kurt's ability to focus on so many levels and he wasn't even doing anything to antagonize him currently. Sebastian never once looked up from his own book – at least not whenever Kurt quickly peeked out from over his textbook to glance at him. Yes Sebastian was dangerously attractive, and gay, but that still didn't mean that Kurt was going to develop any real feelings for him. It wasn't as if he and Sebastian had to hook up just based on the fact that they both played for the same team.
'I'm getting nowhere... except away from what actually matters,' Kurt reminded himself.
He went back to studying for a while and he managed to fight the temptation to check Sebastian out for a good long while. Only when he was reaching his limit did he finally take a short break. He put the book down, yawned as he stretched his arms and then nonchalantly looked Sebastian's way. But Kurt quickly discovered that his alluring eye-candy had gone. Kurt eyes scanned the immediate area, but there was no sign of him. What was the point in coming at all if he was going to leave without saying anything? It just didn't add up; there had to be more going on.
Kurt heard quiet laughter coming from somewhere and he narrowed his eyes enough to make out the source. He finally found Sebastian, who was sitting in the far end of the room, pretty much as far away and he could get from Kurt but still be in the reading area actually. Kurt rolled his eyes and decided he go could study for a bit longer. The added distance did the trick and Kurt didn't pay any mind to Sebastian for well over an hour. By the time he finished his study session, he was sure that Sebastian would have given up and left.
At first Kurt believed his assumptions were correct, and it wasn't until he stepped outside that he found where Sebastian had gone. Kurt shook his head and smiled amusedly at how picturesque the young designer looked seated underneath a tree as he read that oversized book of his.
However Kurt didn't approach him just yet, and he went so far as to walk off in the opposite direction. Kurt returned a short while later to find Sebastian where he had left him, and because he was still reading, it was easy to sneak up on him.
"I got some sushi for lunch, care to join me?" he casually asked.
Sebastian craned his head up to smile smoothly at Kurt. "A picnic underneath a shady tree with a cute boy? What more could a guy ask for."
"I'm sure you say that to all the boys," Kurt teased as he sat down beside him. There wasn't much room to give and they ended up touching shoulders. Much to Kurt's relief, he quickly got used to the casual contact. No one – aside from when he took public transit – had been this close to him and for the first time, Kurt didn't mind it so much. "You know what surprises me the most?"
"Dunno," Sebastian replied, leaning over to pick up a piece of sushi with his chopsticks.
"The fact that you had nothing better to do than stalk me." Kurt knew that 'stalk' was a rather harsh word but he got the feeling Sebastian wouldn't care one way or the other.
"Who says that's what I'm doing."
"Like you'd come to a library – on a Sunday – for any other reason."
Sebastian chuckled softly and placed his large library book on his lap. "Don't be so sure about that Kurt, this book I took out happens to be a great read."
Kurt couldn't help himself from reading the cover title, which was in French; talk about being pretentious. Kurt's grasp on the language was good enough that he was able to translate the words properly. 'Fashion through the ages' did sound like something an aspiring fashion designer would find interesting. "Did you pick this book because of it's sheer size or was that just a lucky accident?" Where were these flirty words coming from?
"I like looking at past fashions; it is true what they say, how what's old can become new again. I've already got a bunch of ideas that I can't wait to try out," Sebastian explained.
It was strange for Kurt to see Sebastian look so passionate when he wasn't being seductive. Was that why Kurt found him so annoyingly interesting: because he was doing something he loved? Just when Kurt thought that maybe he'd misjudged Sebastian, the young man glanced up from the book to see that Kurt was watching him. He smiled at Kurt almost coyly, but he made no snide remarks. His eyelashes were so long that his green eyes were half hidden from Kurt's viewpoint. "Stop it," Kurt muttered.
Sebastian stopped reading and smirked at him. "Stop what?"
Kurt had actually been talking to himself but the question worked for Sebastian too. "Stop trying to win me over with fake charm. I'm not that gullible."
"You aren't? Damn, and here I thought I was getting somewhere," Sebastian said sarcastically. "Sometimes my charm isn't so fake Kurt, and I used to be way worse too. I'd say whatever I wanted and didn't care what people might think."
"What made you clean up your act?"
"I didn't like getting the shit kicked out of me, or getting expelled from school after school. I eventually learned from my mistakes and determined what I could and couldn't get away with. As it turns out, manipulating people to get your way is almost as much fun as pushing buttons."
"Is that so," Kurt said.
"Basically I act nice during the day, like at school and when I'm around the general public – unless someone brings it upon themselves – and as for the night... well, I wouldn't want to make your virgin ears burn by telling you about what happens then," Sebastian said.
"I doubt we'd have the time anyway," Kurt replied snarkily.
Sebastian let out a throaty laugh. "Don't peg me for a playboy yet Kurt. It's true I've had my share of action over the years, but I've also had boyfriends too. Not many, but some, which is more than you can say, Mr. Still-in-the-closet."
Not this again. Sebastian wasn't going to let up until Kurt finally spoke about his sexual orientation. He decided to address it finally, but not in the way Sebastian probably hoped. "Tell me Sebastian, why is it that when a gay person doesn't want to talk about their personal life everyone thinks they must be in the closet, but when it's a straight guy, people will respect their privacy without an issue?"
"I'm not saying that there isn't an unfair double standard going on, but we both know that's not what this is about, Kurt. I get the feeling that you personally don't have a problem about your sexuality, you just haven't been able to admit it to anyone. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think I am."
"I don't have the time to go on dates or form any romantic relationships. That can all wait until my life is more under control," Kurt defended.
But that apparently wasn't satisfactory enough for Sebastian, who leaned in closer and grinned at Kurt cunningly. His eyes fell upon Kurt's chest, noting his heavy breathing and how that mean Kurt's heart was probably beating just as fast.
"And when you are ready for that relationship finally, will it be with a guy?"
Kurt narrowed his eyes at Sebastian. "Yes. It's like you said; I am gay and nobody knows but that still doesn't make it any of your business."
"You're right; it doesn't." Sebastian easily agreed.
With that, Sebastian let the issue drop and he stopped talking as they sat together and finished the remnants of their shared lunch. And yet, Kurt couldn't keep his eyes off of Sebastian, even when his attention was back on his book. Sebastian kept mouthing words, maybe he was making mental notes to store away for later, Kurt thought. Uh-oh, he shouldn't have looked so closely at Sebastian's lips because now he couldn't stop wondering what it would be like to kiss them.
"I envy you Sebastian, how you're so sure of yourself and what you want to become. I'm not like that at all, I have nothing; no real dreams, or any sense of drive to keep me going. Maybe if I had a goal like yours, I'd strive to become someone who I could be proud of. But there are just so many obstacles I'd have to overcome; I wouldn't know where to begin," Kurt admitted softly.
"Admitting that you're gay out loud is a good first step," Sebastian said.
Kurt smiled for what felt like the first time in ages. Humbled, Kurt ran his hand through his hair nervously but quickly stopped before he could ruin his hairdo. He still felt off somehow, like he had been knocked out of alignment and he wasn't sure how to put himself back together – or if he even wanted to. Kurt folded his legs up and rested his chin upon his knees. He fingered the grass around him until he realize he shouldn't be damaging the lawn so carelessly. "I guess it is," he replied finally, still unsure what this meant for him.
Sebastian stood up to dust any lingering grass and dirt off of his pants. He turned to Kurt, who blushed at him bashfully, though he tried to hide it from him, albeit unsuccessfully. "I should get back to the Atelier; there's still lots of work to do even if we don't have a model yet."
Kurt had forgotten all about the decision he had to make, and he was glad for it because Sebastian would have made it impossible for Kurt to focus on that. "I'll see you later I guess." He wasn't sure what else to say since everything seemed too much like a promise and he still didn't know if he'd say yes yet. Kurt watched as Sebastian began to head off and suddenly Kurt knew he couldn't leave things like that. "Sebastian! About the modeling job, please tell the others that I'm seriously thinking it over."
"Will do," Sebastian replied.
Once Sebastian was out of sight, Kurt let out a large breath of relief. Thanks to his strong emotional barriers, he'd managed to hide just how much their conversation had moved him. No one had ever talked so casually to Kurt about the very things he had always been so desperate to hide. Nor had Kurt met anyone who could understand the things he was going through and accept them without question. Kurt had always imagined that the first time he told someone he was gay would turn out very differently. But surprisingly, it wasn't that at all, if anything, it was anticlimactic. So what had made the difference? Was it because Sebastian was gay like him? That seemed unlikely, because in spite of their shared orientation Kurt felt like they were so completely different from each other.
Kurt had missed out on so much in his life so far, there was no saying how much grief he could have saved himself if he'd just had the courage to step out of his comfort zone. Now that this first baby step had finally taken place, Kurt suddenly felt more alive than ever before, and he didn't want that feeling to go away.
_
Ever since the new school term had begun, Blaine had started to casually greet Kurt in passing during their shared classes. Kurt had instantly come to love those days and it didn't even matter that Blaine never said anything other than a quick hello. Just the fact that Blaine knew who he was still floored Kurt to this very day. Unfortunately, nothing ever came from those chance encounters, because Kurt couldn't bring himself to say anything good in response. Most days all he could manage was an awkward 'hi.'
But that was the old Kurt Hummel, the one who purposely closed himself off from the world, and while his transformation was still very much a work in progress, there were already some noticeable differences.
"Hey there, Kurt-" Blaine did a double take, stopping to give Kurt a better look. "Wait, something's different about you..." he stared at Kurt for a moment. "Your hair, it's styled differently."
Kurt barely managed not to blush; he swore to himself that he hadn't done his hair up today with the hopes that Blaine might notice. In fact, he'd hadn't thought about his crush over the last few days at all - not since Friday. For some reason, this made it easier for Kurt to address him now and not fumble over his words.
"Oh, you noticed that, huh?" He hoped he sounded casual and not as bewildered as he felt on the inside. This almost made up for his mother's less than subtle reaction this morning; he still couldn't believe she'd thought Kurt had forgotten to brush his hair, as if such a look could be simple bed head.
"It's hard not to when you look so different, you're like, a model or something," Blaine said.
It was a good thing that Kurt was trying to embrace change, or else just the thought of Blaine giving him an actual compliment would have made him pass out from shock. He still could barely believe it though, so much that no possible response came to mind.
Sam, a blond athletic sort that Kurt knew was Blaine's best-friend, suddenly appeared behind them. "Careful there Blaine, it sounds like you're hitting on him."
Blaine frowned at the very idea. "It's not the dark ages anymore Sam, guys can give other guys compliments without it becoming a big deal." He turned to look back at Kurt. "You agree with me right?"
"Right," Kurt said automatically.
Sam just shrugged at them both. "I'm just saying that sometimes you're so polite that it almost comes off as creepy, Blaine." Kurt had no idea if Sam was being serious or just kidding around but if it were the former then Kurt strongly disagreed.
"Is Sam right, am I creepy?" Blaine asked Kurt.
What was with Blaine seeking Kurt's opinion all of a sudden; did this mean he actually cared what Kurt thought about him or was that just wishful thinking on his part. In any case, it was best for Kurt not to overthink the matter too much. "Of course you're not. What a stupid idea," Kurt said flatly, unable to hide his annoyance towards Sam for suggesting it.
Before Kurt's grasp of reality could really begin to loosen, Blaine followed after Sam and he and Kurt were once again back in their own separate worlds. That suited Kurt just fine, because his attentions were too preoccupied on the lesson plan. Oh who was he kidding. Kurt thoughts kept drifting back to Sebastian and his lot. He only had until tomorrow to give them his answer and so far he was leaning towards saying yes. 'The question I should really asking myself is if I have what it takes to be a model.'
Not only that but Kurt's schedule didn't leave him much free time either. The one thing Kurt did know was that he was sick of memorizing formulas and spending his nights with textbooks as his only company. It's not like he was forbidden from having a social life either. If Kurt were to say no then there would be no going back; he'd never get to set foot in that studio again, he'd have to succumb to his mundane life, once and for all.
After spending most of the day mulling over his decision, Kurt discovered he had absentmindedly broken from his usual route home and was nearing a familiar back road. He caught on just before he turned the corner; was this a sign? Kurt swore he hadn't intentionally meant to come here but clearly his subconscious was trying to tell him something. So Kurt didn't turn around, he kept moving forward, all the way until he was standing in front of that iconic pink door.
"Now what?" Kurt said aloud. Should he knock? He still hadn't made up his mind for sure, so would dropping by without a reason be such a good idea.
Suddenly Kurt remembered that Sugar had told him he could come whenever he liked. "I should find out what the modeling job entails; it would make my decision easier I bet."
So against his better judgement - because even now Kurt's voice of reason was still telling him he should go before he'd lived to regret it - Kurt stepped up to the door, took a deep breath and knocked. But there was no answer and Kurt frowned in response. Was anyone inside yet? Kurt could hear loud rock music coming from within. No wonder no one had heard him then, what with that racket going on. Just for the heck of trying, Kurt turned the door knob and was surprised to discover it was open. Seeing that he had been invited there, Kurt gingerly slipped inside.
At first Kurt saw no signs of life, so he continued onwards. But when Kurt did see someone he was totally unprepared for it. Sugar and Puck were at the pool table, or rather, they were lying on it, with Sugar straddling Puck as they heavily made out. Kurt couldn't move, not even to look away; he was that much in shock.
Finally, Puck, who was the one facing the right way, had the sense to realize he and Sugar weren't alone. As soon as he saw Kurt a short distance away gaping at them, Puck's eyes went wide. "Oh, shit."
"Already?" Sugar muttered.
Puck shook his head and straightened his body up so Sugar had no choice but to slide off of his lap. As she turned to face Kurt, he saw that the front of her blouse was unbuttoned, as was the fly of Puck's pants. Amazingly, Sugar made no attempts to cover herself back up, or apologize to Kurt, who still hadn't been able to move yet, and her face lit up at the sight of him. "Angel!" she squealed, rushing over to him without a second thought.
The sudden movement finally snapped Kurt out of his trance and in his panic, Kurt blushed bright red and bolted towards the door. Sugar tried to catch him but she was no match for his long strides.
"Angel, wait! It's not that bad! We weren't even having sex yet!" Sugar cried out desperately.
But Kurt wasn't listening, he was too busy trying to flee for his life. He might have gotten away if not for Unique, who was on the other side of the door when Kurt opened it. He narrowly missed steam-rolling her and sending them both flying to the ground.
"Kurt?" Unique asked with surprise once she'd recovered from their near collusion. "What the hell is going on? Did Puck yell at you again?"
"No." Kurt paused to take another breath; his delicate disposition couldn't take much more of this. "I stopped by and ended up walking in on Sugar and Puck, who were getting busy on the pool table and I-"
"I'm so sorry Angel, please don't go yet!" Sugar shouted as she made it to the doorway.
Unique looked to Sugar, whose shirt was still open, and then back to Kurt, who was currently trying to calm himself down so he wouldn't pass out, and shook her head. She seemed to know what had gone down just from the clues she'd gotten so far. "Shame on you for scaring the wits out of Kurt, Sugar. I would've thought you'd have better sense, girl. The Atelier is no place for you and Puck to get it on, save it for the bedroom."
"I know but Puck says doing it somewhere else makes it thrilling and it's true," Sugar replied.
'Oh, my God! Haven't these guys ever heard of TMI?' Kurt thought with horror, although no amount of second hand embarrassment would make him say this to their faces. "It's all right, I was just caught off guard."
"You look like you could use a good cup of tea to soothe your frazzled nerves, Angel," Unique said, guiding him to the bar.
Kurt took a seat, because tea did sound good right about now. Puck it seemed was doing his best to act like nothing had happened, which suited Kurt just fine. Sugar sat beside Kurt at the bar; he wasn't sure if this was due to guilt or if she was just normally this friendly.
It took Unique a few minutes to finally select a canister of tea, but when she opened. it she let out an irritable growl. "Just my luck that we've run out."
"So just pick another one; you have tons," Puck said.
Unique turned to glare at him. "You don't know the first thing about tea, Puckerman, so don't you try to tell me how to choose my hot beverages." Puck merely shrugged at her, which made Kurt think that little 'show downs' like this were quite the norm.
As Kurt watched them all silently, something inside of him tugged at his heart-strings, but what exactly? Envy was an easy guess, because the idea that he could be so at ease around people that he could speak his mind and not offend anyone seemed almost unheard of. He never would have thought that a group full of such different individuals could get along this effortlessly. Of course Kurt only had three encounters to go on so far and yet he felt very strongly that his hunch was right.
"I should make you go get me some more," Unique said to Puck.
"Why the fuck should I?" he barked back, as if it were a real challenge.
"I'll go," Kurt said suddenly, cutting Puck off before he could reply. He wasn't sure why he'd volunteered so readily; he'd just acted without thinking. 'I could probably use some fresh air though.'
"Would you, Angel? The shop's not too far from here." She saw him nod. "It's nice to have someone offer to help around here, unlike some people," she said loudly, and it was pretty clear who she meant. "I'd go myself but with my heel choice today, the trip would kill my feet." As if she needed to prove her claim, Unique stuck out her left foot to reveal her high platform boots.
Now that Kurt had agreed to go, he figured he'd break from the usual and seek human company for once. Besides, he didn't know the immediate area very well and he figured that Sugar would only be too happy to join him. "Would you like to come with me and be my guide, Sugar?" Kurt asked.
Just as Kurt had assumed, Sugar shouted back a joyful yes and urged him to hurry it up so they could start off on their adventure together. As Kurt followed her down the sidewalk, he found himself wondering if she was always this cheerful. If so then keeping such an ongoing sense of happiness seemed very tiring to him. Out of the corner of his eye he saw that Sugar kept glancing at him but said nothing. He found it sweet that she was trying not to pester him too much and he decided to reward her for it. "So you and Puck are an item, huh?"
Sugar rolled her eyes. "Of course we are. I wouldn't have been on the pool table making out with him if we weren't." Her scoff wasn't all that convincing, which was probably what she had been going for. "I know Puck might seem scary-"
"That's not the first word I'd use to describe him," Kurt interrupted.
"Well he still isn't. Noah – that's his first name – is a really sweet guy."
"If you say so."
"I've known him for years, for so long that he's become more special to me than anyone else, even my family. I feel so safe when I'm with him and when we're alone he acts totally different, he trusts me that much," Sugar said dreamily.
"Were you childhood sweethearts?" Kurt asked.
"Yes, which is amazing since we come from totally different backgrounds. Puck kept getting into fights ever since he was little and one day I came to save him from a group of older kids." Sugar stopped when she heard Kurt's snort in disbelief. "Hey, just because I'm short and cute doesn't mean I couldn't take care of myself. It did take a while for Noah to warm up to me, but I was a very determined six year old, and we've been inseparable ever since."
Kurt smiled at Sugar warmly as they walked along. The romantic in him, the one he usually kept well hidden, found the whole story very endearing. Looking at Puck, Kurt would have never guessed such a scenario either. He supposed that love could bring out the best in anyone though.
"What about you, Angel?"
"What about me?"
"Is there or has there been anyone special in your life like that?"
Kurt's posture tensed. No one had bothered to ask him about his romantic life before - well aside from Sebastian but that hardly counted."Not in the slightest," Kurt began. He realized that while no pronouns had been given, he didn't want to slide past the matter of gender. "I've never gone out with any guy, or had a boyfriend before."
"So you are gay then?"
"Yes, your assumptions from before were correct. I am gay, but I'm not out yet." For the second time that week Kurt's expectations about others learning his sexual orientation were proven wrong. Like with Sebastian, Sugar's reaction was purely positive and she instantly came to accept it without issue. "I promise not to tell anyone Angel, your secret crush is safe with me."
Kurt narrowed his eyes at her in puzzlement. "Who said anything about me having a secret crush?" His face blushed a bright shade of crimson. He could barely look Sugar in the eye; there was only one way she would know. "You saw the photo?" How could she have guessed that the photo of Blaine was a secret crush of his?
"I'm sorry Angel. I swear I wasn't trying to snoop through your personal stuff. I only looked in your wallet to find a way to contact you. That's when I found the photo," she explained.
Humiliated, Kurt wished he could deny the whole thing but that wouldn't do him any good. "Look Sugar..." he began, his words faltering already. "The guy in the photo... he has no idea I took it, or that I have it in my wallet. He's... he's not even gay but I still couldn't stop myself from liking him." He ran a hand over his face. "I never should have risked taking that stupid photo," Kurt muttered under his breath.
Sugar carefully approached Kurt and when he made no attempts to retreat from her, she placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay Angel, you haven't done anything wrong. I can hardly blame you either, Blaine's so dreamy he's like a real life Prince Charming. It's no wonder you fell for him, even if he's straight," Sugar said.
"Wait a second, you know who Blaine is?" Panic ran through Kurt, though he had no real idea why. Even if Sugar and Blaine were familiar with each other, it didn't change anything. Kurt wanted to trust her and he had every reason to, despite his wariness to let his guard down enough so he could.
"Yeah," Sugar said softly, noting Kurt's unease. "Why don't we go have some tea and I'll tell you the details."
The tea house that Kurt and Sugar had been headed to turned out to have its own little patio area, which worked well for Kurt, who felt less closed-in seated outdoors. He watched Sugar daintily take a sip from her tea cup; he was dying to know how she knew Blaine but he couldn't bring himself to ask her yet. He ignored his own tea for now, leaning forward towards her, luckily there was no one around to overhear them. Eventually Kurt couldn't take it anymore. "So how do you know Blaine exactly?"
Sugar, who had been busy doing something on her phone, leaned ahead so she could show whatever she'd been searching for to Kurt. There on the screen was a photo of three young children (two boys and a girl), all of which looked oddly familiar. Each had matured over the years but there was no mistaking their identities.
"That's Noah, Blaine and I when we were in the third grade. Blaine and I were neighbours since we were infants, so when I befriended Noah, Blaine came along with the deal. The three of us were the best of friends, we were always together... until my parents divorced in our junior year of high school and I moved away to live with my dad."
Something in Sugar's guarded body language told Kurt that she was being vague on purpose; she was also smiling less now. Kurt decided not to press her on the matter, since he himself knew the importance of privacy.
"You won't tell Puck or Blaine about the photo will you?" He didn't mean to imply that she would; he was just that worrisome by nature.
"I won't Angel, I promise. Sure I love gossip but I'm also really good at keeping secrets," Sugar assured him. "You don't need to worry anyway though, Noah and I haven't seen Blaine for a while."
Kurt quietly sipped at his tea to give them both a moment for thought. Until now, Kurt hadn't considered that not having any real friends meant he'd been saved from emotional hardship. Not all relationships worked out either, some people drifted apart and went their separate ways. But in spite of this, Kurt still longed to have friends of his own, because if loneliness was the alternative, then it was worth the potential heart break.
"Isn't this tea delicious, Angel? Unique has such good tastes. When we first got the studio there wasn't anything left for us to start with. Noah kept griping about how Sebastian's uncle could have left us something behind," Sugar began to babble.
Kurt soon learned that the studio they'd come to use once belonged to Sebastian's uncle, who had gifted it to his nephew to use however he wished. From there the band of friends had transformed the empty bar into their own personal workshop, christening it the 'Atelier,' and the rest – as Sugar had so cutely put it – was history. He listened to her intently and once again he felt the unmistakable yearning to be a part of their group.
"I'll be your model for the show," Kurt said all of a sudden.
Sugar's mouth hung open and she slammed her hands down on the table. "You will? Seriously? Shut up!"
"Yes, I really will." Kurt might not have known he'd say yes when he'd come to see them today but he felt it was the right thing to do. "I want to be your model, but, I'm still not sure what you need me to do for it."
"Oh, that's right, none of us bothered to tell you the details yet. Sorry about that. Let's head back to the studio so we can all fill you in, okay?" Sugar paused for a moment, as if she'd just considered something. "Wait, is there any place you need to go? Like for after class studies?"
Kurt shook his head. "I have no plans today, which comes to no surprise." This was a lie though, because Kurt was supposed to go to his after class study group but he didn't want to go back to his usually boring life just yet.
"Great. Then let's buy some of this tea and go tell everyone the happy news!"
"Do you think Sebastian will be there as well?" Kurt asked innocently.
"Who knows, you can never guess anything Sebastian does. Most of the time he just pops up out of nowhere!" Sugar answered straight away, not getting that there was any personal interest to go along with the question.
On the way back Kurt and Sugar ended up walking hand in hand but for once Kurt didn't care what others may think, or that he was holding hands with a girl he'd only met a few days ago. It felt nice to share some casual contact for once and the fact that there was no chance of romance to go along with it made things easier for Kurt to deal with. Kurt's cheery mood was dampened a bit when they returned to the studio and discovered that Sebastian wasn't there.
"I'm sure he'll come soon. It's best if we let him to tell you what you'll need to do, Angel," Sugar told him encouragingly.
So Kurt waited, and waited, but the man of the hour never turned up and Kurt wouldn't let anyone call him either. He didn't want Sebastian to think he wanted to see him that badly, because he didn't! Although Kurt couldn't stop himself from wondering how Sebastian would react to the news. Would he be happy or surprised? Neither scenario seemed very likely to Kurt and that irritated him. It finally reached the point where Kurt had to accept that time was not on his side.
"I should probably go. I know it's not super late, but for me it is," Kurt said.
"Oh, I'm so mad at Sebastian! I'll make sure he shows tomorrow," Sugar muttered.
"It's not like he had any obligations to come here." Kurt waited to see if anyone would correct him to say otherwise but it no one did. "And I'm a day early with my answer as well."
"Take it from me Angel, you don't wanna expect much from Sebastian, that boy's got a mind of his own," Unique said.
"Knowing him, he's probably off picking up guys. I've heard him say that having sex is his best inspiration. I tell ya, it sure pisses me off when smart guys like him can slack off and get away with it so easily," Puck complained.
"You guys are making it sound like he's totally undependable! Sebastian's still a great guy and he has so much talent. You'll understand once you're around him more, Angel, then you'll see why we teamed up with him for the fashion show," Sugar said.
Kurt wasn't so sure he wanted to get used to Sebastian though, considering that he hadn't figured out his feelings towards the man yet.
_
True to Sugar's word, Sebastian was around the following day, but his initial response to hearing that Kurt would be the model was lackluster at best. In reality he was using his keen eye to determine if Kurt's heart was in it or not, despite his obvious sincerity. It was time he learned that modeling – even for a school fashion show – wasn't just all fun and games.
Sebastian tilted his head to the side; Kurt's disposition was resolved and his stance slightly rigid. He'd no doubt expected Sebastian's reactions to the news to be more positive; oh he was so deliciously naive it made Sebastian almost hungry with desire. But there was more on the line than Sebastian's libido, so he put his own personal pleasure aside for the time being.
"I'm glad you've decided to help us out, Kurt," Sebastian said, starting off with some words of encouragement. "That being said, you better be ready to commit yourself fully to the job. Don't think that all you need to do is show up on the day to walk the platform. There's a lot of work to be done from here on, including endless fittings, and you'll need to learn how to walk properly as well. I need you not only to wear the outfit but project the exact image we want and then sell it to the entire audience." He saw a glimmer of determination on Kurt striking face but there was still visible doubt there as well. "You have the overall look I've been wanting and I think you have it in you, Kurt, but you're really going to need to step it up to own it on stage."
"I'll try my best-" Kurt began.
"Sorry but trying isn't good enough for us. Calling it quits isn't an option either, so as soon as you say yes then that's it, you're stuck with us until the bitter end – in this case meaning the day of the show. No matter what's going on in your own life, such as exams or whatever else, that all takes a back seat from now on; no exception."
Such bluntness was necessary, in Sebastian's opinion, because if Kurt didn't work out for them then Sebastian wasn't sure if he could put his faith in someone else.
"God, you're so full of yourself, Sebastian," Puck said.
Sebastian ignored the rude remark and continued to study Kurt, who for once was very unreadable. 'What are you gonna do, Kurt?' he thought curiously. Would Kurt back out and retreat into his own self doubt, thus robbing himself a chance to embrace who he truly was. Or would he rise to the occasion, seize the opportunity they were giving him and see what it could lead to.
"That doesn't sound like anything I can't handle. Just give me the chance and you won't regret it," Kurt said finally.
Sebastian let out a throaty laugh; delighted that Kurt did indeed have a backbone. Now if he could only harness this new side of him to create something beautiful, then their competition would be in serious trouble. Just the thought of seeing Kurt in the ensemble he'd designed was enough to send chills down Sebastian's spine.
"I'm glad to hear it, Kurt. What I need from you the most is to embody the very meaning of confidence. Which is going to take a lot of work, 'cause no offence, but you're nowhere near that level of superiority yet," Sebastian said.
"I'm guessing you intend to get me there then?" Kurt asked dryly.
"If you'd like, but I had planned for all of us to," Sebastian replied.
Kurt's shoulders slowly began to relax and it seemed as if Sebastian's attempts to coax him out of his shell were working. It helped that Unique, Sugar and even Puck (in his own subtle way) also voiced their own words of encouragement, promising to help wherever they could.
"You know at first I wasn't sure if you were even happy that I'd said yes," Kurt admitted to Sebastian.
"Oh trust me, I'm very happy Kurt, can't you tell?"
"No, you're not an easy person to read."
"Why don't I take you out on a date tonight, so we can get better acquainted with each other, since we'll be seeing a lot of each other from now on. It's the perfect time to explain all of your responsibilities as well," Sebastian suggested.
Now that sure got a reaction from Kurt, who pushed himself back against his chair. Panic stricken at the very thought, Kurt couldn't believe Sebastian's nerve. With everyone around them, he didn't want to publicly reject Sebastian and it would hardly be a good start to their newly formed partnership either.
"Can't we just do that here?" Kurt asked nervously.
Sebastian glanced at the others and they quickly retreated so Kurt wouldn't feel quite so ganged up on. "I get it; you're afraid and I'm not judging you for that either. I'm not gonna make a move on you when the dates over, not unless you want me to. Until you give me that signal, then I'll keep things professional. I wouldn't even call it a date... except that I do find you attractive Kurt. You shouldn't put any pressure on yourself though; it's just a casual date, not a booty call."
"I dunno... for one thing I'm hardly dressed right for a date," Kurt sputtered, now he'd really wished he hadn't lied about not having anything to do that night.
"That can be dealt with in a mere second." Sebastian made a beckoning motion with his hands towards Sugar, who skipped over to him smiling. He whispered something in her ear that caused her to giggle and she gave him a cute salute.
Before he could ask what was going on, Kurt was pulled out of his chair and pushed towards the bathroom by Sugar. He was too caught off guard to put up much of a fight and so he found himself once again being given something to wear. In the end, Kurt's curiosity won the fight but Kurt told himself that he was far more interested in seeing if the same notion of self-awareness would happen like if had before. So Kurt put on the outfit, took a deep breath and turned to face the mirror.
The face that stared back at him wasn't as unfamiliar as the first time. He still looked different of course but that was more due to the clothes than anything else. The most noticeable change though was how Kurt's hairstyle suited his outfit finally. He was the full package deal almost. The pants were a deep maroon red and the fit – although a little on the snug side – was perfect. The equally tailored long sleeve dress shirt was a pale pink and over top of that he wore a matching maroon vest. The final touch was a bow-tie, which wasn't something Kurt would have ever considered wearing but it worked flawlessly with the entire ensemble. Kurt's converse sneakers were replaced with a pair of oxfords shoes – the same ones he'd worn before actually.
"Sebastian will have a hard time keeping his hands off of you with you looking so hot, Angel," Sugar said.
Kurt sighed, "That's what I'm afraid of."
"I was actually kidding, Sebastian would never force you to do anything; he's a gentleman at heart," Sugar assured him.
Kurt wasn't so sure of that but he didn't admit this to her. "So it's all up to me, huh?"
"Yep. Sebastian may be a total flirt but he still knows that you're here to be our model first. "
"Oh, well that's comforting then." The funny thing was, Kurt did find the fact just that, because it meant that if his feelings for Sebastian weren't romantic it wouldn't jeopardize the job, the show results, or any friendships he hoped to form along the way.
In any event, Kurt didn't get to think on the matter for much longer. Sugar, who seemed to take Kurt's lull in the conversation as sign to move things along, grabbed onto his arm and pulled him back out into the main room. The others were still waiting where he and Sugar had left them, and at their return, Sebastian stepped ahead to greet Kurt properly.
Sugar whispered good luck to Kurt before skipping to stand beside Puck. Leaving Kurt to stand there by himself, and it was then that he finally looked Sebastian's way. The smile on the young designer's face was enough to boost Kurt's waning confidence. When was the last time someone had given him this much attention? The answer was pretty easy: never.
The familiar sensation of butterflies in Kurt's stomach returned as Sebastian's eyes scanned his frame.
"Once again you managed to look hot as hell in our designs, Kurt," Sebastian said.
"Thank you," Kurt replied, blushing a little.
The rest of the group, save for Puck, came to circle around Kurt. Unique shook her head at Kurt; as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing. "I have to agree with Sebastian, because damn, you, are one tall drink of water, Angel. I'm getting thirsty just looking at you," she said teasingly as she pretended to fan herself.
"I know right! It's kinda crazy!" Sugar exclaimed. "It's like that suit was made for you, Angel."
"I gotta admit, what the girls are saying is true, you're the very embodiment of the Paradis Bise brand." Sebastian tore his eyes away from Kurt so he could address Puck, who so far hadn't bothered to move from his spot near the pool table. "Wouldn't you say so, Puck?"
Ever since the whole 'princess incident' as Kurt had dubbed it in his head, an awkward tension had formed between them. Or that's what it felt like for Kurt anyway, but for all he knew, their feud was all just in his head. It was hard to tell when Puck looked so pissed off about everything.
At first Puck just shrugged at them. "He looks like a different person."
Kurt narrowed his eyes at Puck confusingly. "I can't tell if that's a compliment or not."
"Depends on if you liked who you were before," Puck said, but then he noticed that Sugar was glaring at him. "You do look way better than Sebastian did though, not just with this suit but the one you wore on Friday too. I'm glad that someone's finally managed to show him up." Now Puck was actually smiling, though that could just be at Sebastian's expense.
"It was bound to happen sometime. I'm just glad that person turned out to be you, Kurt, and not some total jackass," Sebastian said, grinning at Puck. "Now if you're all done monopolizing Kurt, we do have a date to go on. If Kurt even plans on saying yes."
The one thing Kurt knew for sure was that going on a sudden date was something that the old Kurt Hummel would never dream of doing. With that in mind, and the fact that Kurt did want to get to know Sebastian better – if only to determine how he felt about that man - he was leaning towards accepting. That still didn't mean he was going to play along with Sebastian's game and act like he was doing him a favour.
"Sure why not," Kurt said casually as he adjusted his bow-tie. "I'd hate to waste such a good outfit."
_
It came as no surprise to Kurt that Sebastian would choose such a fancy restaurant for their impromptu date. Did he expect Kurt to be impressed that Sebastian could get them in without a reservation – as if. Kurt was just glad that he was dressed well enough for the occasion, or he'd feel seriously out of place. His desire to be more daring was all well and good but everything was happening so fast. How had he gone from considering the modeling job to going out on his first official date?
"So tell me about yourself Kurt; where are you from, what's your home life like, and what are your personal likes and interests? I know so little about you," Sebastian said.
Kurt tried to tell himself that Sebastian wasn't trying to make him admit how pathetic his life was and that he was generally interested about him. It still was hard for Kurt to believe that though, so it was difficult not to go the sarcastic route. He decided to give Sebastian the benefit of the doubt and answer all of his questions sincerely.
"So that's all there really is to you then? I thought you had to be exaggerating how boring things were, but now I see that you've had your life pretty much planned out for you. No wonder you said yes," Sebastian concluded.
"That's an interesting way to put it," Kurt said. Sebastian's comment was a little on the snarky side but for all Kurt knew, that was just Sebastian being playful. Flirting was all very new to Kurt, and he had no idea how he should conduct himself.
"Am I boring you already, Kurt?" Sebastian asked.
The reminder that Sebastian was there at the table with him caused Kurt's head to snap back up. He let out a heavy sigh; only fifteen minutes into their date and Kurt was already screwing it up. "No, it's not you, I just..." Kurt sighed again. "Sorry, I'm new at this." And by this, Kurt meant interacting with people on the whole, not just the dating portion.
"I've noticed." Sebastian didn't say anything else to make it clear if he were joking or not; he just nonchalantly sipped as his drink, no doubt waiting for Kurt's reaction.
"So, going back to the modeling job I've just agreed to doing. Though 'job' is probably a bit of a loose term since I'm not getting paid for it..." Kurt realized how this sounded and he blushed. "Not that I was expecting to be paid though!"
"Good, because I wasn't going to, but what you'll earn in life experiences should be just as valuable as cash I would think - don't hold me to that though."
"The show's in six weeks right?"
Sebastian nodded. "That's not a lot of time but we have started what we could and now that we have our model, the real work can finally begin."
"Why didn't you get a girl? Why approach someone like me?"
Sebastian straightened up in his seat and stretched for a moment. "I didn't want to make a pretty dress for some stunning girl to wear; that would be far too easy, and too conventional for my designing tastes. The world had been far too restricted when it comes to body image. I want to use my creation to push gender boundaries, Kurt. It's gotten where beauty cannot pertain to men anymore, not even in fashion, and in the case of women, their raw sexuality is being seen as something negative. I dunno about you, but in my opinion, that screams to me that the world seriously needs to change. Men can be pretty, women can be masculine and both genders, no, all genders should feel confident enough in their own skin to slip between gender lines without feeling ashamed. I think that fashion should be used to empower people instead of forcing them to be something they aren't," Sebastian explained.
Mere words had never utterly captivated Kurt before, yet he was hanging on Sebastian's every word and he couldn't take in everything he'd heard yet. When it finally did sink in two minutes later, Kurt was almost teary Sebastian had just told him spoke to him on so many levels, most of which he didn't even know existed until now. For someone as self conscious as Kurt, he couldn't imagine having the courage to speak his mind so fearlessly. How did he do it? Who the hell was Sebastian Smythe? Who in their right mind would talk like that? 'The exact sort of person who can bring real change and help the world broaden their horizons, that's who,' Kurt suddenly realized.
Kurt knew in his heart that Sebastian wasn't the only one to have such forward thinking views, he was just the first Kurt had encountered. And as a result, Sebastian was also the first person to inspire Kurt and make him want to reach the same level of honesty. Kurt wanted to be out, he wanted to stop hiding in his own shadow, and no longer be too afraid to let himself shine.
"You really mean all that, don't you? You're not just saying it to impress me," Kurt asked softly.
Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I'm not that much of an ass." As if he needed to prove it, Sebastian continued with his heartfelt speech. "Life shapes us Kurt, but in the end it's up to us to embrace who we really are, instead of just becoming the fake shells of ourselves that other people see us as." His serious expression softened into something far more flirtatious after saying this. "That's enough philosophical talk for now though."
Kurt cracked a shy smile.
"When you walk down that runway on the day of the show Kurt, I don't want people to care what society deems as appropriate. The vision I've designed uses shock value and with you as my model, and with your raw masculine beauty, I think that will be possible."
"Just as long as I'm not half naked up there, then I think I can manage," Kurt said jokingly.
"With your witty sense of humour, I think you'll fit right in, Kurt."
"I sure hope you're right about that."
"Oh I am, trust me, you have it in you, or you will, in time."
What Kurt wouldn't give to have Sebastian's confidence but on second thought, he wasn't sure he'd want to pay the price for it.
"How about we put the business portion of our date aside for now? Seeing how this is your first, we should make it one to remember," Sebastian said.
"I'm not putting out," Kurt muttered without thinking.
Sebastian let out a mocking laugh; what was it with Kurt thinking that Sebastian's intentions always included sex. "Who said I was expecting you to? Haven't you been listening to me, Kurt? I don't find virgins very alluring; there's too much pressure to perform and put their needs ahead of mine – so no thanks. But I gotta admit that in some cases, showing someone the joys of physical pleasure first hand is pretty awesome."
"Honestly the whole idea of virginity is so overrated; it's not like you suddenly transform into a new person when you have sex. And in this day in age, it's not even clear what counts as losing your virginity anymore. I may not know the first thing about sex, aside from the obvious mechanics, but there's got to be more to it than penetration." Kurt it seemed, was too busy venting to realize he was actually talking honestly about sex – and to another person at that.
"I actually agree with you Kurt, when it comes down to it, it's no ones business but your own, and the person you're having sex with I guess. But yet again, you're sidestepping the real issue here. Whatever you've been led to believe, either by my own actions or what you've heard from my friends, I'm not some crazed sex deviant. I'm not trying to seduce you either - not seriously anyway. You should still realize though, that I'm no knight in shining armour and if you were to make the first move then I'd be on you in a second. But until you do something that obvious, you have nothing to fear from me on the sex front, Kurt," Sebastian explained.
"Good," Kurt said flatly.
In all honesty, Sebastian had no idea if anything would happen between him and Kurt, and for now Sebastian was fine to just to flirt with him. He studied Kurt as the young man sipped at his champagne; he looked less nervous than before, so maybe there was hope for him yet. The sooner he got Kurt to step out of his comfort zone the better, because from his experience with deadlines, six weeks would go by in the blink of an eye.
"Can I ask you a personal question, Sebastian?"
"Sure."
"Who did you come out to first and at what age did you tell your parents?"
Ah yes, the quintessential question that any out gay man faced. Sebastian was surprised yet pleased that Kurt had the nerve to ask him so soon into knowing one another. "That's hard to say, because I can't remember who I first came out to. It was probably some guy I hit on or something. As for when I told my parents, I was... oh, about twelve I think."
Kurt's eyes widened. "That young?"
"I knew I was gay long before that and I pretty much accepted it right away. Don't ask me why though, because I have no idea; I just did. My parents didn't care that I was gay either, mainly because they were too focused on themselves to care. It hardly mattered to them what gender I was attracted to. My folks are hardly what you'd call conventional, Kurt, and I don't meant that in a good way."
"God, can it really be as simple as that?"
"Sometimes it can, but not always. Every situation's different."
"Aren't you tired of always knowing exactly what to say?"
"At times yes, which is why I don't put on the nice guy act all of the time. Wait long enough and you'll see what I'm capable of." He grinned at Kurt provocatively, to clarify what he meant exactly. If Kurt understood his signal, then he pretended not to. Man, courting Kurt was becoming a whole endeavour already. Good thing Sebastian had been growing tired of the gay club scene or he doubted he'd put in the effort needed to win Kurt over fully.
"You might wanna go easy on the champagne there, Kurt," Sebastian warned as he watched Kurt begin his second glass that night. He highly doubted that Kurt was used to drinking; he had lush written all over his innocent face.
Kurt frowned at him quizzically. "Why? It's not like it's the real stuff; we're underage," he said.
"Do I look the sort of guy who'd drink the type of stuff they give to kids at parties?" Sebastian asked teasingly.
The second the realization hit Kurt, he put down the champagne glass and stared at it in horror. "But I've had close to two glasses already! I had no idea-" Now Kurt was really rising to what appeared to be some sort of episode. "What are we gonna do?"
Sebastian leaned forward and patted his hand affectionately. "Relax Kurt, nothing's gonna happen to us. As long as you don't bring attention to yourself by starting to hyperventilate."
"Right, okay… yeah." Kurt took a deep breath, held it and let it out slowly. "I've been prone to having panic attacks when I'm under heavy stress."
Now this was news to Sebastian; he'd just thought Kurt was a stressful person who tended to get too worked up over things. But Kurt's potential health condition did not however make him reconsider having Kurt be their model. He would just have to tread more carefully around Kurt from now on. "What can I do to help you?"
Kurt just smiled at him dreamily. "Just keep staring at me like that... I find your pale green eyes oddly soothing. Mind if I gaze at them for a while?"
"You're drunk, aren't you?"
"No I'm not," Kurt giggled.
Wonderful, just what Sebastian didn't need; a drunk Kurt to deal with – there went their date he supposed. "I think it's time I took you home," he said, sighing heavily.
Kurt pouted at him. "But it's so boring there. I like here being with you much better, Sebastian."
"Well it's not more fun for me and I'm sure as hell aren't going to spend the night babysitting your drunk ass."
"I thought watching a piece of hot male ass would be just your kinda thing," Kurt taunted.
"All right, we'll stay for a bit longer," Sebastian said in defeat. "But only so we can put a few cups of coffee in you," he added as he took away Kurt's now half empty champagne glass.
As soon as Sebastian Kurt thought that had recovered enough, he took him back to the studio so his date could redress. After that Sebastian drove Kurt home and parked his convertible a few blocks away from Kurt's house at his request. Sebastian understood the precautions Kurt was taking, since from what Sebastian had been told, Kurt's mother was very strict and the last thing they needed was to put her on the alarm by having her son come home drunk.
For all appearances, Kurt seemed have shaken his drunken state off for the most part; he wasn't slurring his words so much now and the shameless flirting had also stopped. "Think you're good enough to head inside your house now?" Sebastian still asked, just to be sure. He wasn't about to abandon Kurt outright, but at the same time, he wasn't Kurt's keeper, nor was his becoming drunk Sebastian's fault.
Kurt ran a hand down his face. "I believe so. Either way I can always pretend that my fatigue's due to studying; that won't be anything out of the ordinary for me." He got out of Sebastian's car and it seemed as if he was going to leave without saying anything. Kurt must have realized how rude that would be though, so he turned around to face Sebastian. "Tonight was... interesting."
Sebastian, who was already out of the driver's seat, stepped towards Kurt and he didn't stop until he and Kurt were very near each other. "I had fun tonight, up until you got drunk anyway, so we should do it again sometime."
Since Kurt wasn't showing any signs of discomfort despite their close proximity, Sebastian decided to test their chemistry a bit. He moved his hand to gently touch the side of Kurt's face; stroking his cheek with the side of his thumb. Kurt's eyes fluttered from the move and he appeared to be in some sort of trance almost. However comfortable Kurt seemed with their current situation, Sebastian still wouldn't dream of kissing him. For starters, doing so would go against his promise not to make the first move, and Kurt's inhibitions were clearly still compromised as well.
What Sebastian had planned to do instead was to gaze into Kurt's eyes and say 'such enchanting baby blues like yours shouldn't look so tired. Promise me you'll take care of yourself from now on.' Only Sebastian never got the chance to, not when Kurt decided to take matters into his own hands, kissing Sebastian full on the lips. While caught off guard, Sebastian didn't mind this outcome in the least. The surprises kept coming as well, because to Sebastian's delight, Kurt's kissing skills were none too shabby. Not a lot of open mouth access going on, but still, his attempts were clearly working for them both. So either Kurt was a fast learner or his inexperience wasn't as hopeless as he'd originally let on - Sebastian's bet was on the former - not that it mattered.
If only Kurt hadn't gotten himself drunk. Although, if he hadn't, then Kurt probably wouldn't have kissed him in the first place. With that in mind, Sebastian decided to play the gentleman and not kiss Kurt again when their first one regrettably ended. And Sebastian's refusal to let things continue seemed to snap Kurt out of his daze.
"Well now... how's it feel to have had your first kiss?" Sebastian asked softly.
Obviously surprised by his own boldness, Kurt's eyes widened with what looked like genuine shock and for a second Sebastian thought he might blurt out 'Oh, my god!' in utter horror before fleeing into the house. But once again Kurt managed to show Sebastian that he didn't have his new model totally figured out yet. Kurt didn't utter a sound, embarrassed or otherwise; he just silently powered through his initial panic. Sebastian wouldn't call his act award winning and if it were anyone else he would have pointed that out. Yet for some reason – which he didn't want to consider right now – Sebastian held his sharp tongue at bay.
"It was bound to happen sometime I guess," Kurt said finally. "And all things considered, it could have been a whole lot worse."
"Gee thanks," Sebastian said but Kurt just rolled his eyes at Sebastian's fake emotional pain.
"I mean the part about still being drunk enough that I acted without thinking."
"What about the kiss itself?"
"You should know already Sebastian; you were there for it."
'Is he trying to play hard to get with me?' Sebastian thought. If he was then his attempts felt pretty weak. Then it eventually dawned on Sebastian that Kurt was probably waiting to hear what Sebastian thought about their kiss, and Kurt's anxious expression - complete with fluttering eyes - seemed to support this theory.
"It was pretty good, all things considered. You got some good potential but, unfortunately you're not thinking straight enough for me to show you the ropes yet, Kurt." Sebastian noticed that Kurt's mood shifted to something more relaxed and possibly a little playful even. "I'm honoured to have been your first though."
Kurt snorted in response but still smiled at him. "Just don't let it get to your head, okay."
"Oh, we both know that there's no chance of that, Kurt." Sebastian eyes were lit with amusement; he was enjoying their banter far too much for his own good. 'Come on Kurt, tell me that I'm full of myself so I can say I'd rather be full of you,' he secretly wished as he smirked at Kurt.
"Right. Anyway. I'm gonna go now, before my mom calls me to see where I've gotten to. I've already put her on edge with my wild new haircut."
"Fuck! If that's all it takes to set her off then you need to get your act together, Kurt. I don't want to hear that you've been grounded on the day of show."
"Don't worry. I'm pro at slipping under the radar. It also helps that my folks have no reason not to trust me, since nothing ever goes on in my life but studying." Kurt looked away from Sebastian to nervously glance over his shoulder. "Okay, so now I really am gonna go. You'll just have to save anything else you want to tell me till next time." Kurt turned his back to Sebastian and began to walk down the sidewalk.
As he headed off, Sebastian returned to his convertible and leaned against the closed passenger door. Too bad it was so dark or else he would have had a good viewpoint to ogle Kurt's tight rear end. Kurt didn't bother look back at him – not even once. How intriguing. 'Now that's how playing hard to get is done,' Sebastian thought with amusement.
"So there will be a next time then? You haven't had any second thoughts?" Sebastian yelled out to him.
"I'm not a quitter, Sebastian, so you're good and stuck with me now!"
"Come by the studio tomorrow at four; we need to get your measurements!"
"I'll be there, and you better be too!" That was the last thing Sebastian heard Kurt shout at him before disappearing out of sight.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Sebastian replied softly. He didn't care if Kurt hadn't heard him; he'd still wanted to say it anyway.
