A/N: here's chapter 2 :D
It seemed that everything I happened to see looked grey.
Grey, and blurry.
Maybe that was because I was trying to hold back tears, but so far it wasn't really working.
The minister droned on and on, talking in a bored tone like he had somewhere to go after the funeral that was much more exciting than this. His dull eyes were glazed over: reading the words he had read hundreds of times before at the funerals of other people.
But none of them were like Max.
"Hey you." Max smiled at me from our bed.
"Hey yourself." I smirked, standing several feet away removing my shirt.
I knew she was ogling me, so I played it up a bit: removing it slowly, tantalizingly.
She couldn't take it.
"Come over here." She patted the bed beside her.
I was quick to comply. As I sat down, the bed creaked and Max scooted closer. She sighed.
"Wow."
"Wow what?" I asked.
"Wow, as in we're married. I mean, I knew it was going to happen sooner or later but y'know…it's different."
"Regretting it, are we?" I said playfully. She laughed.
"Of course not!" Max tackled me. We wrestled jokingly for a while, laughing the whole time, until we finally ended up with her lying on top of me. We stayed in that position for a few minutes and just looked at each other.
We knew we were both thinking the same thing.
"Are you sure…?" I asked.
"Yes." She said firmly, and then crashed her lips to mine.
I sighed.
That was one of the happiest nights of my life.
Angel's soft sob brought me out of my flashback. Her usually cheerful eyes were filled with tears, and slowly, one by one, they fell onto her black blouse. Iggy pulled her into an embrace and I heard him murmuring over and over again "its okay, everything's going to be alright…we're going to be okay…Don't cry, Angel, don't cry…"
Wish I had someone to hold me like that…
"…that we finally rest Maximum Ride, loving wife, mother, and sister, to continue on into heaven to be by God's (1) side for the rest of eternity, and that we may hope that her friends and family will one day join her and live in bliss for as long as the world shall exist. Amen." Finished the minister.
"Amen." Everyone said.
I watched men put the casket in the ground. I just about died.
And then it finally hit me that I would never be able to see her face again. We would never talk together, never laugh together, never fly together, and never kiss again. That's why I had refused an open casket ceremony. If I had to see Max like that; cold, dead, silent, still…I don't know what I would have done.
"Fang, I have something to tell you." Max was standing there in front of me, glowing and sparkling as only Max can.
I think for a second, wondering what it is that she needs to tell me and what could possibly make her so happy…
She placed her hand on her stomach.
Oh.
OH!
I ran up to her, pretty sure that her glowing was contagious.
"Are you…are you positive?" I said in disbelief. She smiled and happy tears ran down her face.
"Yes. I took a test and it came out positive. Fang, we're going to be parents! We're going to raise a family!" I wound my lean arms around her and brought her close.
"Together."
"Fang…?" Nudge questioned gently. "Are you alright?" I realized than I had been crying.
"Uh, yeah. Yeah I'm fine." My voice cracked. Damn.
"I was just wondering if you wanted to hold you daughter…" I nodded and she placed my baby in my arms.
And then I was looking at Max again.
"Hey there, girl," I whispered to her, "you're mommy's gone, so we'll have to take care each other, okay?" I was quiet for a moment.
I looked up from my magazine to see what Max was doing.
She was sitting on the windowsill of our bedroom window, looking outside with eyes full of wonder and her hand absentmindedly rubbing her growing stomach.
I looked at her, puzzled.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked her out of curiosity.
"I was just thinking about the birds." She turned and smiled at me. Her eyes sparkled with mischief and I could see the small forming of a smirk on her face. "I'm glad I didn't have to lay an egg."
I chuckled good-humouredly.
"What do you think we should name the baby?" she asked me. I hadn't given the topic much thought. I wasn't really good with names.
"I'm not sure. I was going to leave that up to you." Max nodded and looked back out the window, and then down at her belly again; stroking it softly with love.
"I was thinking of Robin. It's always been one of my favorites and it does work..."
"Robin? That's a nice name."
"You think so?"
"Yeah, as long as I don't have to feed it worms or something."
Max threw a pillow at my head.
I didn't get back to my magazine for a while.
I looked back at the wondering child in my arms.
"Don't worry, Robin," I whispered, tears falling again, "I will always take care of you."
She reached up and touched my damp cheek, as if to wipe the tears away.
I remembered something that Max had said to me the night she died.
You will not cry…you will not cry…I chanted to myself as I walked over to Max. She reached out her frail hand and I took it in my own and kneeled by her side.
"How are you feeling?" I asked restlessly. She thought for a moment.
"Tired."
"I thought so…" I continued my struggle for holding back the tears that were fighting to escape my eyes. I wanted to throw myself at her, I wanted to yell and kick and scream "don't leave me alone, Max! Don't leave me alone!" I wanted to punch the wall and curse God for taking her so soon. It wasn't even fair. Did Max even know she was dying?
"I know I'm dying, Fang."
I guess that for the first time in my life my expression was readable. She continued to talk.
"but I'm not suffering Fang…I got to hold my daughter, I got to look her in my eyes and tell her that I loved her. When I'm gone, tell her that I loved her very, very much." I whimpered.
"No…don't talk like that. maybe you'll live. Miracles can happen, right? You've got to hold on, Max…for me, for the baby…"
"I can feel me getting more and more tired. We can't do anything."
"But I love you!" I practically yelled, my anger at the world showing. She smiled.
"And I love you, more than anything, Fang." We were quiet for a moment, silently looking at each other and knowing that this was probably the last conversation we'd ever have.
Max reached up at stroked my cheek.
"You're mother loved you very much." I said to Robin. She cooed in response. I smiled sadly. "She was one of a kind…you remind me so much of her."
I wondered if the wrong parent had died. Mothers raise daughters. Fathers are supposed to financially support the family. Mothers are the nurturers; it was always that way in the books and movies that I had seen and read. Now, I knew that it wasn't going to be that way. Max was gone and I was going to raise our daughter.
And I was determined to do a damn good job of it, too.
