Disclaimer- Lets just put it this way, if I owned Dark Angel; Max Allan Collins would never have been let near writing books based on it. This fic, let's just say Logan has always been a favorite character of mine- so this is kind of something I've wanted to write. Warning if you did not realize by the first chapter this will have a very tortured Logan. Any out of character is because of the hell he went through. With the flashbacks they will be going back and forward- giving you back story in italics, as the story progresses these flashes will lessen and we will see more of Seattle.
Chapter Two
Survival of the Fittest
"They'll never take you back Deck"
The look of cold amusement on Lydecker's face at her words sent a chill down Elizabeth Renfro's spine. The director studied the gun pointed at her chest with seeming disdain.
" The committee was very interested on your side projects- how it cost them a immensely valuable X5 unit- the least in your crimes" The expression on his face, what Renfro knew Lydecker considered to be kindness- was much closer in the reality of the old saying about a rattlesnake in the grass. "Elizabeth, did you really think Command was that easily won over by your deception, underestimation is a failing"
She threw him a look of contempt. "And working with 'your kids', nostalgia for the sake of nostalgia" Renfro smirked. "One out of four is a failure- and you almost lost 599 as well all because of one weak paraplegic man"
"A man who takes his failings and changes them to success can hardly be considered weak" Lydecker answered her coldly. The door to the office opened and Brin/ X5 734 stepped in. Renfro felt a cold satisfaction.
Even if the committee had decided to side with the former alcoholic Colonel, the soldier before her would make sure Deck didn't get to live to enjoy his victory. 734 had never failed her-
Seeming to realize the X5 was standing there, Lydecker turned to Brin and she saluted. "734, execute the director"
Although there were no words spoken by the Korean transgenic, there was an unspoken pleasure in her eyes that only Renfro saw, inside the second before the bullet slammed into her brain. Then she didn't see anything at all.
The sounds of the guards moving down the cell corridor woke Logan up and the sound of the boots marching down the hallway was like thunder in his head. Waking up was so hard for him. For a second he felt the loss, the fear, pain- every other emotion and it was all at once. Every time.
And then there was a feeling, the feeling that he had lost something. Something important that kept slipping away. And each time it was a little harder to hold onto the actual feeling that he had lost something.
Logan was broken from his thoughts by the sound of the cell door opening. If the Colonel stepped through the door it would be the trip to hell today. Or Psy Ops.
He was relieved by the sight of the guard who seemed more interested in introducing Logan to his tazer rather than playing mad scientist with his mind.
It was all Logan could do in Psy op sessions to keep the secrets he had, partly helped by Colonel Lydecker's desire to seemingly dissect him. Psychologically and physically. And create the soldier in his place.
The relief, the positive feelings of training confused Logan to the point of crawling into a corner. He didn't want this right? He believed in freedom… right? He didn't hesitate to move out of the cell quickly. This section of Manticore's barracks was for those in isolation… mainly for minor infractions of Command. X5 494 brushed past Logan giving him a barely concealed look of amusement.
Paying it little attention Logan could see Zack moving out of the cell; it was him the guards followed around through training. The Colonel wanted his favorite to remain in condition but Zack was hardly the trusted elite soldier he was designed to be. Someone stepped up behind him, and even if her breathing did not give her away- the storm that flashed across Zack's face did.
X5 734. Behind the hands of even loyal X5s she was the Colonel's pet, and other such expressions learnt from both Common Verbal and the bad mouths of the guards. The result of too many Psy ops sessions. Logan had an involuntary chill down his spine every time, at the thought of walking to Psy ops under your own steam, and it not ripping you apart. Being that dead inside.
You took her out of a bad situation and you let her choose for herself.The voice in his mind was a stranger, Logan didn't know him. 734 had removed her hand and walked to Zack. "There won't be a problem today 599, will there?" A statement that from anyone else would have at least had scorn, sarcasm. Nothing.
Zack's lip curled at 734 and stepped past her, holding nothing but contempt for the woman he had once viewed as a sister. The only thing Lydecker had ever said rang that true- the girl he knew didn't exist anymore.
He hated being here. Everyday was a new exercise of control, another way Lydecker could screw with him.
That bastard would not be satisfied until he was on his knees and saluting. Even the small concession of not refusing Manticore's training was the torture of giving in. Seeing that smug look of satisfaction of Lydecker's was worse than being hit by a car. But it was the difference between keeping himself sharp or spending every waking moment with an equal mix of blood and psychoactives in his veins- Lydecker would see to that. The tactical choice and one made for more than just him.
Without him, there would be nothing to keep Logan from becoming the one thing that would break Max and more importantly his former self.
Logan Cale was here because he had thrown everything to the wind to help them. Zack didn't dwell on that night much, it was a sentimental flaw to think about what could have been- but it was a strategically beneficial advantage to see your mistakes.
Zack lay in the foliage, the blood from the shoulder wound trickling down his chest. He checked his clip, empty- he had used his final bullets on the X7 clones. A choice he had made with no qualms, shooting down mirror versions of Jondy, Krit even him. As he heard the cracking of foliage he held tightly onto the rifle prepared the crack his opponent's skull apart.
The sounds of the gears made Zack relax slightly. Slightly. The second Logan appeared, Zack had already flipped up and pinned him into the tree "Are you that deficient or just insane- what – are- you – doing?" he demanded.
The other man shrugged "And here I planned it making sure you got out" Logan's voice was laced with subtle sarcasm.
Zack looked at the older man, analyzing everything. There was the smell of gun powder, and … blood- he hadn't known that Eyes Only could kill. "An emotionally driven decision- a mistake" But there was a glimmer of something damn near respect in his eyes. He let him go and then his eyes focused on ahead. The TAC unit edging forward to surround them.
"Stay here" Zack muttered. As he pushed Logan back ripping out the blade he had kept in his boot throwing it hard at the first soldier, and ripping the soldier's gun from his still falling corpse.
Logan forced him himself to look away and there out of a jeep not hundred meters' away was Lydecker stepping out. The man was clearly confident he had enough men there to take Zack down. If they could just get that hummer and use it, they could get out of here without getting killed or caught.
Aiming the gun forward once again Logan stepped out of the brush and into view. The soldier who had been driving brought up his rifle and with bile in his throat Logan fired. "You know I think I said something to Max" Logan spoke calmly, ignoring the horrific feeling within him. "About not trusting you, about taking you out…down on the ground" The order was given with false confidence. Logan was no soldier, he was just fighting to make it out of here, to stop these bad guys.
Lydecker didn't move to the ground in fact, he seemed almost peaceful of the situation. "You won't shoot me son," Again Logan felt sick, like he had earlier when Lydecker had talked to him about his feelings. "I'm unarmed… 'Eyes Only'- and if I'm not mistaken about you, you shoot in defense, in the heat of the moment, your admirable qualities are only weakened by your emotions"
The man had an instinctual ability to get under his skin. " I would not be so sure Lydecker- Max almost died tonight because of the power play you threw into the works" Even with his words Logan knew he could never pull the trigger on a defenseless man no matter how evil he was. What separated him- but he tried, his hands shaking now but his aim never wavering.
He glanced back at Zack, as the TACs threatened to overwhelm him. Logan yelled a warning and almost missed the soldier emerging behind Lydecker who shot rounds into the side of the exoskeleton. As the device short circuited, Logan fell to the ground. He reached down and felt blood. One of the bullets had hit his leg- but that wasn't the worse part. The exoskeleton was dead. Logan realized he was becoming light headed- he must be losing more blood than he realized and the thought barely cohesive as he passed out.
Two X5s were dragging a restrained Zack forward, and Lydecker regarded him with clear disappointment. Zack didn't know why but he started to laugh.
His body slammed into the mat and Logan felt frustration inside, burning. 'Biggs' as the other transgenics called him/ X5 846 leaned down. "You know- if I always win there really is no fun part"
Sparring was hell in itself, he was as strong as them, now made to be 'better', to be a weapon… a killer as an echo in his mind would whisper into his ear. The voice grew fainter every day, almost like it had never been there. And the other voice wanted to be the superior soldier, Colonel Lydecker's voice, drilling into his brain.
But twenty years of training took more than the month and a half he had been out of Psy Ops medical division. And Logan hated the part of him that need to be superior, the part that wouldn't let him go; it weakened his grip on his hold of who he used to be. The war that was between himself, within and out against Manticore.
That part, that Logan was fighting, caught 846's next blow and kicked hard into his chest, avoiding the returning blow- almost inhuman as he pulled the transgenic towards a choke hold.
What was he doing?
Logan paused when he should have pressed his advantage and Biggs pinned him to the ground.
He could barely hear the comment out of Biggs over the rush of blood in his ears. He had almost let the Colonel's voice in his mind win. It was all he could do to keep from screaming- but if he did the guards would drag him straight to Colonel Lydecker. He took in a shuddering breath.
Biggs just walked past as the TAC commander signaled to disengage from the sparring. Logan almost jumped at the hand in front of him, as Zack helped him up. "You got through the session so don't give it up now"
The words sounded harsh and unfeeling, but they weren't so much. They helped Logan focus, and drown out the mind altering programming if only for a moment. He looked at Zack's sparring partner, 734 was sporting as many marks as Zack had. She did not seem pleased by this in the least.
"That was disappointing soldiers- I expected more- next time if I do not see an improvement you will be here at 0300 practicing how not to be a disgrace to your unit and this Command until I am satisfied- am I UNDERSTOOD" The instructor yelled that last past.
"YES SIR!" Logan wished he could have fought against speaking with the other soldiers, like Zack who had mimed the words but nothing had come out. But he hadn't gotten a chance to think about it, the programming, his voice worked before his mind did.
As the unit moved forward, Logan found himself hearing part of a conversation.
"So you ran into 452?"
X5 494 had been absent from the last three days, partly due to an assignment. Logan's heart raced, as his mind visualized her. Strong, defiant, a fast word on her lips- really seeing him instead of the chair. The wheelchair always elicited, couldn't forget it, the feelings of guilt- he had wanted to walk- to be a whole person, and Manticore knew it. Had used it against him at every turn, as if it should be reason enough to give in. All because they made him whole, then had shattered him in ways even worse than being unable to walk.
"Yep" 494 flaunted the language he learnt in Common Verbal often. It seemed to be a symbol of pride. "She's not bad looking if you ignore the whole traitor crawling in the garbage part"
Logan tensed, the part of him that didn't weaken was this need, to protect and defend 452.
494 continued his recollection. "Get this, 452 had some ordinary watching her back… probably smarter than her, her loss- lame nickname, Bling- the techs are trying an ID no luck so far" 494 shook his head. "I did all the work- and they can't get a hit with the actual body because 452 has to have a necro fetish"
He knew the name; something in him knew the name, and all Logan could feel was a dark anger rising inside of him. And the feeling of Zack's death grip that stopped him from reacting to this confusing desire to punch 494 and just keep hitting until he stopped moving, the weird feeling of loss that was ripping through him.
Zack knew exactly what they were talking about. Apart from the initial annoyance that Max had been drawn into another fight. And the fact she was still staying in Seattle. It worried him, 494, the shallow, arrogant soldier that he was, was still that a soldier and a damn good one. A 2IC, that apart from some incident that no one discussed was very good at what he did. Lydecker was learning from his mistakes, and actually using transgenics against her. One who looked just like Ben.
He knew she had still felt guilt over Ben's death when they were attempting to take down Manticore. It was unlikely to have changed and despite the fact that Max did what needed to be done he doubted his headstrong sister would ever see it that way. He held onto Logan knowing the moment would pass. Even if he hadn't cared about Logan, he was the only person in this place Zack could trust- Zack did care about him in his own way.
And keeping Logan from attacking 494, and being thrown at the mercy of Psy ops was necessary even if X5 494 deserve to be bleeding and broken on the floor.
'This is a streaming freedom video bulletin. The cable hack will last exactly 60 seconds. It cannot be traced, it cannot be stopped and it is the only free voice left in the city. …' The broadcast seemed the same, but somehow it wasn't, it seemed darker almost. ' Despite Seattle police saying that psychoactive class dugs experimentation and trafficking is urban legend this is a lie. The images you see are of just one such lab. These drugs are designed and then sold to many black op military agencies. These clandestine labs are murdering anyone who threatens their exposure. They believe they are above repercussions. But they are not above us, and will be held accountable for their actions. This has been a streaming freedom video bulletin...via the Eyes Only informant net. Peace...out.
Studying the video of the Seattle broadcast, Lydecker knew the synthesized voice well. It was Logan Cale's although it was clear that 452 was using Eyes Only to continue her 'lovers' fight, and to fight Manticore. Finding her was proving a challenge. Logan Cale- had been smarter than most people, his listed apartment was vacant- and the computer system in Seattle had been wiped clean by a computer virus less than 12 hours after Cale's capture.
His family had vanished in all likelihood dead, another thing to attribute to Renfro's disastrous side projects. While the concept of the programmed-to-kill hover drone was promising it was too easy a system to compromise. Sandoval demonstrated that.
Perhaps it was Logan Cale's intelligence and spirit that fought so hard against the Manticore programming. It was not in the nature of the former Eyes Only to give in. Lydecker knew that it was a long process which was why 452's capture would have a dual affect. Out there , she may dismiss the recordings Lydecker sent to the informant net, to show her the price of what she was doing.
In here, forced to watch it all, it would break her, make her the soldier he wanted that much faster. It would break Logan Cale completely, his feelings for 452 were his greatest strength and weakness. Stopping the tape, Lydecker stood from his chair and stared at the photographs. What happened to Tinga was a deep regret. Renfro's power play had cost him one of his kids, and it was a curiosity why it had not happened before. It reiterated the truth - they didn't belong out there. And he needed to do whatever it took to being them home.
Max could not go back to her apartment. Not tonight. She couldn't face explaining why she looked like someone had shot her in the heart to Original Cindy. Being shot would be easier than dealing with this. She had been so wrecked she had fallen asleep at some point in the back up van while Syl drove.
She had closed her eyes, just to avoid that look of pity in Krit's eyes. And the dream she had, was torturous to the point of hell. Making it out- with everybody. Lydecker not screwing them all over, Manticore going down and going to Crash to celebrate.
Her family being with her friends, the best of both worlds. Zack telling her he approved of Logan. Leading Logan out of Crash, and going back to his apartment. More than touching, being with him and leading him to the bedroom.
In the starting of 'happily ever after', then she heard it.
Saw that horrible black creature, the crow. Heard its call and she stared to Logan who seemed to be fading into thin air. Like he didn't exist anymore. Max couldn't hear him speak, but she could read the words on his lips.
'I'm sorry'
She woke with a start, and saw look of worry on her brother's face. She had been asleep for mere moments. Just long enough to be put through the happily-ever-after she was not getting.
Now laying on the lounge in Logan's apartment, Max couldn't move. She could barely breathe. This was not how it was supposed to end. This was not supposed to happen to him. The choice to stop running had been hers- not his. And Max had thrown it away… it should have been her.
They were her consequences and Logan was taking her fall.
Logan 'and' Zack. Zack was facing Psy ops again, and all because of her. This was on Max Guevara. If Max could turn back time and be shot dead by her X7 mirror she would. Anything to escape this moment… of being here without him.
---To be Continued--------------------------------
Done and updated a week later- see reviews really do make the difference. Want me to update regularly? You see the button… give it a push, it make it happy too. It encourages me while story alerts without reviews do not. It also tells me what parts you like, and what to include.
If there was a song that fits this story it'd be 'What I've Done' by Nickelback.
Completed 9/17/2008. Story edit May 9, 2009.
