AN: Thank you all so much for reading and faving/alerting my story! I'm glad you're liking it so far. Sorry it took me a while to come up with the next chapter, I've been rapped up in a lot of things lately. Hopefully you guys will stick around to see where the story goes.
Every now and then, I'd go through something I call "moments of weakness". I had no idea where they came from or what they were about. I hated them more than anything. I was too afraid to ever say a word about them to anyone, so I didn't know how to deal with them or if anyone around me ever had the same experience. Normally I push any pitiful feelings like that back down, but one day they came to be too much for me and the next thing I know, I'm sobbing into my pillow like an idiot. I was alone when it happened, of course, but I was still embarrassed. I realized after that, I felt a lot better and eventually the thoughts left me alone, if only for a certain period of time. I guess that's all those feelings want - to be let out sometimes.
Maybe that explains my dilemma on the train ride, but why am I here now, clutching my pillow so tightly and drying stray tears with it? I got a little panicked, worrying that this was about to become a regular thing.
Honestly, how can someone cry without a reason?
I got up and headed to the bathroom to wash off my face. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, but quickly looked away, ashamed to see myself in such a state. Thank god I have so much privacy in here. Although a part of me wondered if we were being recorded in our rooms for footage to be used to promote the Games or the tributes or something. Nah, they wouldn't stoop so low.
I'm in deep shit if this is becoming "normal" for me. Without a doubt, such a weakness will cost me everything in the Games. I have to find a way to get this out of my system and fast. Maybe all I need is to immerse myself in training tomorrow.
As I expected, when the new day came, the old me returned. That's what I wanted, of course, but this cycle was starting to annoy me. The Training Center was spacious and filled with all kinds of weaponry I was familiar with. I could hear all the novice tributes now - asking stupid questions about them and solidifying their ignorance in my books. Heh. Stupid kids.
The instructor took her sweet time explaining useless things like what we're here to do and rules and stuff like that. I wanted her to just hurry up so I could practice. Enough nonsense.
Wielding a blade came effortlessly for me. In no time, I turned a practice dummy into nothing more than a hunk of plastic. I'd become so focused that I'd lapse into a trance, blurring out reality around me. I'd take some time to survey the room every so often. Clove was ferocious with her knives; each one landing square on her target. She'd be able to take several tributes out at a time. It'd be very unwise for anyone to try to ambush or corner her. Marvel was just as proficient at the spear. It was as if it struck the bullseye before it even left his hand.
Then I spotted Glimmer practicing with her specialty - the bow and arrow. Looks like she knows how to handle it, although I wasn't as gripped with awe in the same way when I was watching her as I did seeing Clove and Marvel perform with their weapons. I don't think that'll cause a problem, though.
Mocking laughter caught my attention. At first I thought it was directed at me and I was ready to put someone in their place, but then I saw it was coming from Marvel, Clove and Glimmer. I followed their gaze to see that District 12 guy attempting to use a lot of the same weapons as us, but failing miserably at it. It was pitiful and almost insulting for us to watch this, but I was still so amused by it.
The other three were uttering occasional criticisms. "He's not even holding it right..." said Marvel when he tried using the spear. "Completely wrong form," Clove said of his knife-throwing. I was silent, instead focusing my energy on sending a smoldering glare his way. Everything pissed me off about him. He didn't even seem interested in learning about how to use these weapons; simply dismissing them shortly after attempting them. Complete and total disrespect.
My humored expression changed to one of rage. I felt my anger soaring quicker than it ever has before. Realistically, I have no idea why, but right now it makes perfect sense to me. He seemed to give up and approach the other District 12 tribute to voice his frustrations.
The most I could hear was, "How do they expect us to master these things? Some of us had more to do than practice for this our whole lives." And now I'm on the move before I know it, making a beeline for him. Maybe Clove had the right idea in getting a head start in the Games.
"No, your time was spent on more important things," I shove him on the shoulder, causing him to stumble backwards and nearly fall down, "like taking shortcuts and setting things on fire, right?"
He puts his hands up defensively and backs away, "Whoa, I didn't- I didn't mean it like that!" He's doing his best to sound sincere, but I know better. I continue my approach as he keeps taking uncomfortable steps away from me.
"Yeah? Then in what way did you mean it? To me it sounds like you think you're better than us!" I shove him harder this time, but he still doesn't fall. The other Careers are following close behind me like an entourage, or more like a pack of hungry wolves about to lunge at their prey.
"I don't think I'm better than you! I don't even know you!" The little guy's starting to get a little flustered. I'm still not satisfied.
"Well, you should know about us!" I shove him again and he crashes back into the wall with an echoing slam. I close in and glare down at him, grinning devilishly. I feel like a skyscraper standing in front of him. I must be about a full foot taller than him. "Let me tell you something. It's going to take a lot more than sucking up to the audience to get you through this. Unlike you, we've been trained for this. We did more with our lives than lay about and feel sorry for ourselves. Have a little respect!" I spat out.
Pleased with his silence, I turn on my heel and was about to head back to training when he decided to retaliate. "You guys may have been trained all your lives, but sitting and having pity parties was the last thing me and the rest of District 12 did!" He said, his voice rising with defiance. "We worked our asses off! My family and I ran a bakery that we never got time off from. And if we wanted to eat a decent meal, a lot of us had to spend the entire day hunting for it. Some would go days without barely anything! We certainly didn't have it served to us by maids!"
By now, the entire room is watching us and my blood has reached a boiling point. He continues, "If anything, we're the ones who know how to handle ourselves in harsh environments. Because unlike you, we didn't benefit from close associations with the Capitol! You guys are the ones who had it easy!"
"Fuck this." I mutter before spinning around and lifting him up by his shirt and slamming him into the wall again. He winced and groaned in pain and his dangling legs flailed anxiously, lightly colliding with mine occasionally. "Your fake-ass charm and bread baking isn't gonna stop me from slashing your throat during the bloodbath. Got it?"
We were immediately swarmed by a group of Peacekeepers who pulled us apart. A couple of them grabbed me and pulled me away. "Come on, you're going for a walk!" said one of them as they hauled me towards the exit.
"Are you okay, Peeta?" I heard a female voice say behind me. She must be talking to the District 12 boy. So his name is Peeta?
I'm nearly shoved out of the building by the Peacekeeper. "What? Are you kicking me out?" I didn't know what he was expecting me to do now.
"No. Take a walk around the Capitol. You can come back when you cool off. You're lucky the President or Seneca wasn't here. They wouldn't have been so lenient." He tells me. I didn't think he was serious about taking a walk.
"Uhh okay.. Whatever." I shrug and begin my trek around the Capitol.
Before I go, the Peacekeeper throws a few conditions at me. "You got fifteen minutes! If you're not back by then, we'll come after you. Don't make us come after you. Are we clear?"
"Yeah, yeah.." I fucking hate being ordered around like a child. I turn and head off into the city. I wonder if any other tributes were forced to take a time-out after fighting in the Capitol. Like the Peacekeeper said, I got off easy because no one of real authority was around to see it. It helps that I'm a Career, too. I'm always reaping in the benefits from that, it seems.
I figured I might check out the shops and see what kind of things they sell here. It'd be interesting to compare the differences between the Capitol and District 2. However, on the way there, something more interesting caught my eye. Two people were standing on a balcony covered in white roses. I had to get a little closer to confirm that it was indeed President Snow and the Gamemaker, Seneca Crane. I wondered what they were talking about.
I made sure no one was looking before venturing closer to the building, but then I stopped myself.
It's none of your business, Cato... My inner voice scolded, commanding me to stay on track. It worked for only about a second before my attention shifted back to Seneca and Snow who were both pacing around the balcony. Normally if someone were to give me the opportunity to go out and explore our nation's capitol, that would be the only thing on my mind, but this time I couldn't shake the feeling that this was the wrong opportunity to pass up.
How often does one get a chance to eavesdrop on official Capitol business? How often does one from the Districts get a chance to set foot in the Capitol to begin with? No doubt that Seneca and Snow would be seeking seclusion for the purpose of discussing the Games. Perhaps this act of rebellious espionage would aid me in the arena. After all, I was brought up almost purely on lessons to survive these Games; to win at all costs. I'd say this would only help my cause. An extra edge wouldn't hurt. The others would be pleased to learn what I found out, if I decide to let them in on it, that is.
With that decided, I snuck up to the building which seemed to be void of any Peacekeepers or surveillance. I don't think anyone can see me from where I was. Once I was settled in, I trained my ears on the conversation taking place above me.
"There's something else I want you to implement in this year's Games, Seneca." Snow stated, placing his hands on the railing and staring out at the vastness of his kingdom.
"Will this be announced before or after we pair them off?" asked Seneca as he slowly approached Snow, obediently standing behind him. Snow straightened his posture before turning back to Seneca.
"There will be no announcement for this feature," said Snow, "and it will be effective immediately once the Games begin."
My eyebrows furrowed. Pair them off? I anxiously glanced around again to make sure I wasn't about to get caught. The last thing I need is to be found snooping around the Capitol like this. I don't think my status as a Career could even save me from a punishment for this kind of crime. I was too intrigued to find out where this conversation was going to just leave now.
"What are you talking about?" Seneca questioned.
"We're losing control of Panem. Slowly but surely." Snow answered, still staring out in the distance. "The Hunger Games are no longer fulfilling their purpose - to fully remind the people of Panem of their mistakes and the consequences of repeating them. The mere existence of the Games is no longer enough. We need to do more to get the message across - to imprint the lesson more effectively - so they never decide it's a good idea to step out of line again."
"Well, how do you suggest we do that, sir?" Seneca asks, seemingly mystified at what Snow's plans are. My breathing becomes shallow. I'm not liking the sound of this. Snow's arms leave the railing and he immediately reaches to cut a fresh white rose nearby.
"The 74th Hunger Games will end without a victor."
