Disclaimer: I own Gakuen Alice but only in another dimension where elephants fly and we all have psychic powers, mine being the ability to grow extra toes every day and then remove them with no pain. (In other words, no. I don't own the wonderful manga/anime in this world.)
It's raining. Again. For the second time that week.
He looks out and smiles, closing the book in his hand to enjoy the sounds. He remembers things that maybe he would be better off not remembering, but he reminisces it gladly anyways. Just for the moment. His eyes move to the object always at his desk: a simple bead bracelet. The smile on his face droops.
He lapses into thought. (He always does that when it concerns her.) Not even a week ago, Mikan had told him that she always went somewhere in the rain. This had been news, and a surprising one at that, because he had been sure she's practically unable to feel emotion. Why else would she need to go into the rain but for sentiment? Natsume had called him the very week to tell him that it's raining, and she just went out again. He'd said nothing more, because nothing was needed to be said.
A memory suddenly stun-guns him, making him paralyzed for a second or two: the painful break up.
"Imai. It's no use: I think our time is gone."
"Are you asking for a break up?" A nod. "Make sure you think this through, Nogi. You know I won't let you change your mind."
"I'm a hundred percent sure. No regrets, no 'what if's, no drama."
"I'm holding you to it. Then, former boyfriend, I suppose I'll be going back home now, since we're not going to dinner together anyways."
"I-I guess?"
He still gulps at the remembrance of the cold look she had given him when he'd given his consent. It had not been a glare, really, just this calm yet so angry eyeballing that had made him grow ice cold inside as well.
He sighs, once, weary and long. He attempts- key word, attempt- to go back to the wonderful story about, you know, people and the stuff they do. He heaves another sigh, and admits it to himself- he barely knows what's going on in that book. He's been reading the book, but not absorbing it.
He briefly wonders if he should go to the animal room to calm himself down, but ends up going back to bed. Laying down, all his thoughts are on her and what she does in such a rain. His hand itches to call her up and ask, but reminds himself that it's been five months. An impromptu and random call much less a text would not be the best idea, he decides.
He's slowly drifting off to early sleep (surely to wake up in the break of dawn, he knows drowsily) when his phone vibrates twice. A text. He doesn't want to bother with it, but the thought of 'what if it's her?' wakes him up pretty quickly, and the phone is reached for and opened.
It's not her, but it's Mikan, worrying about her best friend not being home. He texts back with the words "I thought she did this every rainy day" and gets no reply. He supposes he's getting the cold shoulder, and reckons it will be over in a few minutes. He lays back down to wait.
As soon as his head hits the pillow, the phone vibrates twice again, surprising him. Is Mikan more worried than usual? he thinks. It's not her, but his cousin.
He hasn't seen his cousin in a year or two, though they have been in contact at least twice a month just for family's sake. He touches the text bubble lightly, the words suddenly cutting through him:
I just saw ur ex. She bought a fanta.
He gapes. For several minutes, he can do nothing but stare and gape and try to breath and absorb this sudden situation. It's not until Mikan texts again that he actually gets it: his cousin had seen Imai, and she'd bought a Fanta from him.
Crazy. And kind of random, too.
Totally ignoring Mikan's text (which will surely make her mad again, but he really doesn't care at the moment), he furiously finger-types into the small screen. Where?
The garden. U no my stand.
He does, and before another more sensible thought enters his head, he's already rushing in the car with an umbrella at hand. He probably runs a few lights and breaks a few speed limits, but he's being controlled by emotions and just cannot stop.
Within moments he's already standing at the parking lot where he sees Imai's car. Imai's car. He hasn't seen that car since… since… since she'd last driven away from him the day of the break up.
He takes in the scene and continues on. After a brief greeting with his cousin, he hurries with umbrella in hand to the large city garden. He wanders for just a bit before catching a glimpse of black hair; he stops.
Her eyes are closed, and she's swaying just a slight, probably to music coming through her earphones. She's sitting down, a small smile embraces her face, and it's a look of content. He is struck with a question of if she loves the rain, and if so, why does he not know?
He starts to walk away, because he never planned to meet her face on from the beginning of this impromptu trip. He's fine now since he's seen such a happy Imai, enjoying herself for once.
Then suddenly her smile is drooping, her expression is tinged with ultimate sadness. His legs stop on their own and walk to where she's sitting, and his arm covers the rain for her. He doesn't know why he's done it; it had been all unconscious. He had had no control, really.
She opens her eyes, slowly, dazedly. Her gaze goes from confusion to alarm as it travels up from his feet to his arm to his face, and after a few moments he can't help but smile at the endless chaos in her face. She's just, I don't know, adorable when she's confused. He inwardly laughs at this unexpected diction- many would never call her 'cute' (beautiful, maybe, because that she is), much less 'adorable' as he has done now.
The moment he does so is the moment she snaps out of it. She's definitely not only confused anymore, probably angry, judging from the cold look in her eyes.
"What are you smiling at?" He's momentarily caught off guard- it's been so long since he'd heard her voice, and it's wonderful as always. Her voice is unique, it's her voice, and he loves it. As always.
She looks even more becoming with the confused angry look. He knows he has to relish this time when she isn't remembering to caution herself as she usually does. He laughs, answering with a simple, "Nothing."
She stands up and pushes the umbrella away- towards him again; she must've noticed him getting wet or something- and makes her way to wherever she's going. He's surprised, but not surprised at all at the same time, because it was only a matter of time before she put back her shield of suspicion.
He follows her, forgetting to bring the umbrella with him. He calls out her name to no avail, and he quickens his steps to match hers. He knows sooner or later she'll stop from the sudden exercise, but he prefers it to be sooner than later. Her speed is rapidly decreasing, too, so he expects to catch up soon.
He notes her wet clothes and hair, a voice in his head worrying about her getting a cold, and her Fanta bottle stands out to him. That was my key to her, huh? he smiles.
A few moments later, he's in front of her, holding her wrist as gently but as restraining as possible. She isn't meeting his eyes deliberately, glaring to the side. So she's not fully back to her own self, if her glare is anything to go by, he thinks. "Imai." She strains against his hold, but countless days of veterinary work has his hands as strong as ever. "What are you doing here?"
He thinks he kind of knows the answer, but he's a factual person. "I should be asking you that, Nogi." Even though the way she says his name is not something to revel in, he still can't help but want to cry and smile at the same time. She has said his name, and it's music to his ears.
"It's cold. We're in the rain. You should be at home." The little voice in his thoughts has won. He's worried.
"Same goes for you."
He doesn't like this roundabout way things are being done (or more accurately, not being done). "Imai!" he says.
Her eyes fix unto his. "Nogi. I am here because I want to be. I don't want you here, and I have no reason to believe you want to be here either except maybe your sense of goodwill." From the way she says 'goodwill' it's quite obvious it's not a good thing. "I don't need your goodwill" -somehow, it sounds like a cuss- "here, so you are free to go."
She's evidently furious, and she's like a little angry cat hissing mightily in the small body. The thought makes him laugh. Her stare sharpens into an almost-glare.
"What?" She pauses. "Never mind, don't tell me. I don't want to know." She struggles for a bit to get out of the grip but it proves to be futile. "Nogi, let me go." She sounds tired.
"No." He knows he has no reason to keep her here, so his brain scrambles for a reason. "I have to go somewhere." He cusses in his brain, because that sounds exactly the opposite of what he wants to say.
"Then go. I've got a place to be, too." It's noticeable that she's trying to sound okay with it, but her eyes have diverted his again.
"You're coming with me." The words leave his lips so naturally, it's almost the truth.
"No I am not. I never said I am, and I refuse to go."
"It's not something you can refuse, Imai." Another lie. "Your presence is mandatory."
"Then why didn't I know? You're not making sense."
"It will make sense when we get there." She's right: he's not making sense at all. How can he, if he's just spouting false things from the top of his head?
"Correction: when you get there. I am not going."
"What if I said it's Natsume and Mikan's wedding?" Again, top of his head.
She says something about her ears being okay, and he forces himself to chuckle. Stay calm. Collected. You're fine. "As logical as ever. Come on, can't you spare me just a few hours?"
The phrase chills the heated atmosphere fast. The rain has become ice shards, piercing the two with the familiar words. He hadn't been thinking then, either, come to think of it. That had been from the top of his head as well. Perhaps this would end up okay as well. He allows himself to hope until she opens her mouth.
"No. Not-not this time, Nogi. Just… let me go." He can see that she's ready to give up, ready to stop this all and forget. What she can't see is that he's not.
"I'll drive you home."
"I have my car."
"Perfect. I don't have mine." He's desperate. He plans to ask his cousin to keep the car safe or something, and drags her away to the parking lot.
"Nogi. I said I'm fine."
"And we both know you're not." On what basis he says this, he doesn't know. The rain beats down on the two, filling up the silence.
Then she speaks. "You don't know anything." It's so bitter, so harsh and unexpectedly raw that his legs stop working.
He's filled with feelings he cannot even start to explain: it's just as bitter, just as harsh and ever as raw, and before he knows it, he says back to her in the same tone: "You'd be surprised by how much I do know."
It's true: he's been getting (quite involuntarily) status quos on her from both Natsume and Mikan, the couple loyally reporting back fully about her health and whereabouts. He never stopped checking her progresses as an inventor online either.
He knows his response has pretty much surprised her into numb shock as he doesn't hear another word from her (though she's back to looking quite indifferent) until he reaches his uncle's place.
He hast to make a deal with her to get her to do all the stuff, but he's not worried much. He prepares a last-minute ball, calling up all his friends and family members as well as acquaintances, their families, and their friends, just to fill up the space. Natsume and Mikan agree without another word, most probably suspecting something has happened. After the rush of all the things done, he looks out the window to notice the rain has completely stopped: Maybe it's a good omen? he briefly hopes.
When all is over and he comes to look at her, he can't think. His mind goes blank, a white slate clean of everything, and if he hadn't been holding the doorframe, he would probably have fallen right then and there, because she looks beautiful.
More than beautiful, she looks amazing. He can't help but hit himself up inside at the thought of him trying to leave someone like her. Especially when his favorite flowers are tucked on her ear, he can't help but simply gawk. Then he notices her expression, which he promptly laughs at.
To his surprise, lots of people had come in the short notice. They exchange pleasantries (and knowing looks, in his case) with Mikan, and then not long after, she drops the question.
"Now tell me, Nogi, why was my presence mandatory here?"
He tries to postpone the answer. "Can't we enjoy the dance a little?" (The answer is no.) "Fine, I'll tell you." He contemplates telling the truth: he had wanted to see her. He'd missed her. But of course, being as craven as he is, he lies instead. "I'm a bachelor at age 22. Women are looking for me. I need someone."
Through a doctor's sharp eyes (an animal doctor, but nonetheless), he quickly catches the flash of pain before the angry flood takes over her eyes. She speaks in a low, hissy voice, saying, "So you're using me as a tool. I thought you better than this, Nogi. I'm severely disappointed."
While he is still absorbing her response, she's already heading to the door in quick steps, weaving through quite easily considering her stilettos. Nobody stops her, and he doesn't know what to do.
He helplessly stands there looking at her go, not knowing if he should follow or not. Her car keys are in his pocket, but from experience he already anticipates that she has enough on her to go home without any help.
Someone taps him from behind, and he turns to see Mikan and Natsume, gravely staring at him.
Mikan looks especially angry, which is expected since he's just done something to her forever best friend, but her expression softens once she sees his regretful and worried face.
"Go," she urges him. "I don't know what you said to her, but go before it's too late, you!"
Natsume nods. "You know you'll regret it if you don't. Follow her out."
That's all the encouragement he needs- he tears away from his friends and practically runs out the door, his motions frantic. He probably looks silly in his tuxedo and dress shoes, but frankly, he doesn't care.
He finally finds her frowning at the bus stop, and nears her before she notices him.
"Imai-"
"No. Get away from me. Why, are you running away from some old widows who've set their eyes on you? I'm sure there are young ladies out there who will serve to your purpose."
He can tell this isn't going to be easy. "I'm-"
"Sorry? Yeah, right. You must be very sorry to have tricked me, again and again, or maybe all those laughs were meant to laugh because you're finding it funny that I'm falling for your tricks over and over."
"No-" he tries (to no avail).
"No? Then what? Are you here to convince me to go back to that dance and wear this dress and these heels and dance with you so that you can escape from females you have no interest in? Get a grip, Nogi. I'm not a desperate girl throwing herself over you. I never was. And there must be plenty of girls ready to be the one pretending to be your lover-"
He can't stand it. It's so obvious she's hurting herself as much as he's getting hurt by this rant. "Hotaru!" he finally yells.
She pauses, rattled, but continues on anyways. "-and to kiss you and hug you and all that you need to do in order to keep the others away. You're a very cruel person, Nogi, to call up your ex-girlfriend for something like this. You should know me enough by now to know that if you had just told me from the start if I could do you a favor instead of dragging me all the way here and breaking the news on me in the middle of everything I might have said yes. No misunderstandings, or trickeries or whatever that you did to make me come here for something as business-like as it is."
In the moment she takes the deep breath to continue, he opens his mouth to interrupt, but she has already started. "And I expected you to hold up on the deal and never show up to me every again? You've already broken the deal, and I can hold it up to you and-"
He doesn't really know how it happened, but his mouth is on hers for a second before she breaks away. "What? Is someone looking? Do you need to look like in love? I told you, find someone else."
She's in pain, he can see it. He can. "Hotaru, stop."
"Stop? No, I won't stop. I will never stop. I'm going to go on and on and on and on about everything and anything until the bus comes and I can leave you here forever."
He tries again: "Listen."
"I've listened enough."
"Only to lies."
"So you know. That this whole ordeal is a lie. You admit it. Hurray."
"No, not that kind of lie. It's a misunderstanding."
"I know. You lied, I misunderstood, thinking that you actually still-" She doesn't continue, but he knows what she wants to say.
He supplies the end himself. "Love you? Yeah, I do."
She's opening her mouth until the bitterness of his words hit her, and she moves away slightly from him, looking confused.
"I've loved you until now. Five months and counting. I thought I could do it, but I couldn't. Can't you see it, Hotaru? You're smart, you should know. You're a good judge, and if I had been this kind of person until now, you would have already known. I tricked you, but it wasn't so you could act as my lover. I wimped out. I brought you here to ask you if you could stand me again and be with me, but I wimped out and told you something else."
"Liar." Her gaze moves away, as if unsure of her words.
"Yes, I did lie, but not about that. And now that you know, albeit through a situation I didn't imagine would happen, you can tell me what you want me to do. You can tell me to leave, to keep the deal and stay away forever. I'll do it." It pains him to say it, but it's something he must do. He can't just let her go like this, though. "If you're going to make me go, can I at least kiss you one more time?"
The first thing she says in reply is, "Give me my car keys."
The answer is obvious: he's a goner. It all ends here- he's going to live as a bachelor forever until he dies, because he just knows that if it's not her, then it can't be anyone else. He'd met a few girls here and there who were decent people, some better than just decent, but he hadn't been able to move on.
He throws the keys and turns to go, silently reprimanding himself for thinking he still had a chance. Then, "I never said you can leave just yet."
It gives him hope: maybe she's just teasing him, like old times? She says offhandedly, "Let's go."
"Where are we going?"
Fate is cruel, he thinks, when she says, "To a place where you can have your last kiss." All hope abandoned, he remembers her intense dislike of PDA. It makes sense.
The moment they're alone, he puts his lips to hers, savoring her taste for what he knows to be empty, alone days. Rainy days would never be the same for him again.
He's ready to go when the kiss ends. He's not a masochist; he doesn't want to hurt himself more by having one last glance or something. But he has forgotten this is her he's dealing with. She's a woman of surprise, always and forever, even to the last minute of his time with her.
"I've reached my decision."
The hope comes back, as much as he tries to suppress it. He doesn't want to get his heart crushed again, but his heart can't help it- it was made to hope.
They make their way to the house, him feeling quite uneasy about this situation. "Next Saturday," she says, "five thirty, Francesco's. I'll be waiting."
It's unexpected. It's wonderful. A whoop leaves his mouth and he rushes to kiss her again, a sweet and joyful one contrasting to the last one he'd shared with her. She allows it, which makes it all the more better.
As they walk to the house together, she says in her usual monotone (as always): "Now get me my clothes, Nogi. And throw these stilettos out of a third story window, will you?"
It's a joyful reply she gets.
"It was a day like this, wasn't it? When we got back together."
"Stop being mushy, Nogi. It's disgusting."
"Aw, c'mon, Hotaru. Let him have his happiness. Look at him, he's so happy."
"He doesn't have to be so obvious about it."
"I know you're happy about it too, Hotaru. And you should call me Ruka now, too."
"You'll always be Nogi. Besides, I never gave you permission to call me by my first name."
"You know you like it too."
"Don't be nuts."
"But I'll always be nuts over you."
A squeal, and an irritated sigh next to the squeal.
"Hotaru, your boyfriend is so sweet! Unlike someone I know." A glare.
"I'm reconsidering this decision, Nogi. Be careful."
"Your wish is-"
"-don't say it, I'm warning you-"
"-my command, princess Hotaru."
"Okay, now that's taking it too far, Ruka. Quit it. I'm barfing in my mouth."
"See? Even Natsume agrees."
"Don't be mean, Natsume!"
"Yeah, yeah."
"Oh, and you better have thrown those shoes out the third story window."
"Of course! Because your wish-"
"STOP!"
"-is my command."
AND so the story ends. Hope y'all enjoyed. Thanks for reading. And also: kudos to you for reading so many words! If the (many) typos and mistakes are noticed, telling me would be appreciated.
