-2 hours later-
They walked home in a comfortable silence, Rapunzel going out of her way to avoid cracks in the sidewalk. Jack's eyes followed her, bemused. She was fascinating to watch when she wasn't aware of the attention. Her ears pricked at the sounds of the children playing and the cars rolling by in the lazy summer heat. Her nose crinkled as they passed an open dumpster and Jack had to suppress a laugh at her expression. She smiled at him before returning her gaze to the sidewalk and buildings. Jack reached out a hand and gripped hers firmly. She smiled to herself and squeezed back, eyes skimming over the brick buildings and trees lining the trees, trying to memorize every detail. The way vines snaked around the trunk of a tree, the way the buildings seamlessly fit together, snuggly borrowing bricks from its neighbors. The perfect summer afternoon was suddenly spiked by the sound of sirens tearing down the street. An ambulance tore down the street quickly followed by a fire truck. Rapunzel stopped briefly to watch, face dropping at the sight. Even the seemingly perfect days held tragedies. Her grip tightened on Jack's hand and he returned the pressure to comfort her. They continued walking and slowed at Rapunzel's stoop. She looked up to the house and then back at Jack.
"I'll see you tomorrow," she said quietly. He nodded and watched her walk up the steps to the front door. She drew a key out of her pocket and unlocked the door. With a final wave he turned and back tracked to where his apartment was, around the corner. He reached the corner before he heard a scream and Rapunzel running from the house, the screen door falling behind her.
"Jack! Jack! She's, oh my God, Jack!" Rapunzel shrieked as she reached him, panicking breathlessly.
"What's wrong? Rapu- Rapunzel, what is it?"
She wildly looked about, unsure of what to do.
"She's dead, Jack. Dead. I walked in and called for her and she didn't answer so I walked upstairs and found her on her bed, sleeping. But she wasn't sleeping! I walked over to her and her skin was so cold, Jack! I- I don't know what to do," she said, obviously beyond comprehension.
"Calm down, I'm going to call 9-1-1. Just, wait here."
She nodded, barely hearing him as he took his phone from his pocket, quickly dialing. He walked a few paces away from her as he spoke with a person at the call center. He quickly gave over the information and turned back to Rapunzel.
"They're on their way," he reassured as she walked in small circles before settling upon the stairs on her porch. He followed her and sat, unsure of what to do or say. He settled for just putting his arm around her and she inched closer to him, leaning into his side. She closed her eyes and for the second time that day, he felt her tears stain his scrubs. He absentmindedly rubbed his hand against her arm, consoling her in the only way he could. The sound of an ambulance racing towards the house sent shivers through her body. Still hiding her face in his side, she tried to draw up the rest of her strength to face the medical team that would soon spring from the ambulance. She unlatched herself from him and looked up as the ambulance came to a screeching halt in front of them. Several paramedics moved towards them and Rapunzel opened her mouth to explain, but fell silent, the words trapped beneath the lump in her throat. Jack explained the situation to the one in charge as the other two ran into the house. The woman nodded curtly, having heard the same from the 9-1-1 operator and got the stretcher out of the back of the ambulance. A police car parked on the opposite of the street, and the officer jogged over to them. Rapunzel took a one look at him before she put her hands over her eyes as Jack's arms engulfed her. The officer spoke with the paramedic as the two came from the house and took in the stretcher, coming back with an unmistakable black bag containing the only family tie Rapunzel had left. The officer jogged back to the cruiser to talk on the radio, giving a full report of what happened. He returned as one of the paramedics came over and whispered to Jack.
"Likely cause of death was cardiac arrest. The coroner will do a full autopsy to confirm but that's what we believe." Jack nodded, murmuring a thank you to them. The paramedics gave a brief sad look to the figure hidden within his arms. The sight of grief was always different, but the pain tasted the same. Swallowing back the acid, the paramedic nodded before entering the ambulance and giving the go ahead to return to the hospital. The officer stepped up to the pair and asked if she had a place to stay for a while. Jack nodded and the officer put a hand on his shoulder. Like the paramedics, this sight was all too familiar to him. Voices over the radio intercom informed him of other happenings and the officer gave a final nod before jumping into the cruiser and racing to the next site.
"They're gone," Jack breathed into her hair. Rapunzel nodded and numbly removed herself from his arms. Her face was blank with grief, ghosts haunting her stare. Jack gently took her hand to guide her towards his apartment. She followed in a daze, unconscious of her surroundings. The once vibrant flame, extinguished with only wisps of smoke left. They walked in a somber silence, a harsh replica of the comfortable silence they usually enjoyed. The air was empty and the sun sank below the earth, as though it too needed to grieve in private. Jack knew that her relationship with her mother had been complicated, but despite all of that, she still felt hollowed out. The smallest of breezes made her shiver. The earth suddenly seemed desolate and cold, a small remnant of the beautiful world she had grown up in. Images flashed behind her eyes of the years she had spent with her mother in that house. Every fight, every tear, every lonely night seemed to amplify the loss even more. A mother, even an abusive one, was a mom. Rapunzel could feel herself reliving every heated argument and the words were like acid in her throat. She regretted every moment she spent hating her mom. All she could see were the times when she would glare at her, wishing that she could just run away. But this… this was more than she had ever wished upon her mother. The loss was crushing her. She didn't even register where she was until Jack drew a key from his pocket and put it in the lock. He swung the door wide and guided her in, only pausing to turn on a light.
"Sorry about the mess," he mumbled as she took in her surroundings. The door opened to the living room, the hall to the left leading to his room and bathroom as well as a small guest room. To the right, a small kitchen was visible. Jack took her to the kitchen and sat her down at the small orange table. He cleared off the papers that were strewn across it and left to dispose of them. He returned to see her staring ahead of her, her mind a million miles away. Her face was impossibly pale in the kitchen light, water marks trailing down her cheeks. Jack put a glass of water in front of her before turning to the sink and rubbing a hand on the back of his head. He looked over his shoulder at her before turning and washing the pile of dishes in front of him.
Rapunzel registered the smell of the dish soap and the sound of the air conditioning clicking on momentarily before her memories overtook her senses again. Her head bowed, allowing the tears to fall directly onto the table, the droplets hydrogen bonding to each other until there was a singular puddle on the surface. Jack finished washing and noted the small pond she had produced. Unsure of what to say, he walked to his room and deftly changed out of his scrubs, thinking about how different the world was since he had put them on that morning.
Eight hours makes a hell of a difference. Jack thought bitterly. He had always wanted to help her ever since the day she ran into the playroom and tackled him without so much as an introduction. Now here she was, cancer relapsing and without a family. You're her family, a voice whispered to him from the back of his mind. How can I ever help her? He tugged on his well-worn hoodie amidst pictures of how it should be: the two laughing under a canopy of trees, snowball fights that dissolve into giggles and hot chocolate, the two of them lying on a blanket pointing out stars and constellations. Jack shook his head, remembering the grief stricken look on her face. It blotted out all the joy from his previous thoughts and he took a deep breath before returning to the kitchen. Rapunzel was in the same position as before and Jack bit his lip before going into the fridge and looking at his options. A few eggs, some hot sauce, a questionable carton of milk, half a stick of butter, some wilted lettuce, and a hunk of cheese stared back at him as he sighed under his breath. He brought out the eggs, cheese, butter, and hot sauce and decided that it would have to do. He took a bowl and frying pan from the cupboard and carefully placed them on the counter. He drew a fork from the drawer and cracked an egg against the rim of the bowl, the familiar steps putting him into auto pilot. He swiftly cracked open a few more eggs, the yolk spilling into the bowl. His muscles automatically cut off a piece of the cheese and sliced it until it was in small strips that would cook into the eggs. Once he set the frying pan on the stove and added a hunk of butter to it, he returned to the bowl and added the cheese and hot sauce, careful not to make it too spicy. Satisfied with the mixture, he poured it into the pan where the butter was softly sizzling. Jack fished a spatula out of the back of one of the drawers and started poking at the eggs, checking to make sure that they weren't burning.
Rapunzel snapped out of her thoughts as she smelled the eggs happily cooking in the pan. Her eyes drifted over to Jack's frame which was worriedly poking at the eggs, his back to her. She looked at the puddle on the table and poked her finger in, dragging the water outward. A few strokes later and a watery sun shone on the table top. Rapunzel looked down at it sadly before returning her gaze to Jack. Was he actually cooking? She took a deep, albeit ragged breath and Jack's ears pricked up at the sound. He turned and gave her a small smile when their eyes met. Rapunzel blinked before biting down on her lower lip, unsure of what to think or feel.
How do you just go on when everything is falling apart? Rapunzel looked back down at the table and brought her knees up to her chest, hugging her legs. She laid her forehead against her knees and closed her eyes, willing her mind to shut out the world. Emotions shot through her so fast she barely had time to register them before they flew away again. Anger. Greif. Pain. Lonliness. Emptiness. Guilt. She turned it into a small mantra as she took each in its turn, examining the emotion thoroughly before letting it go. Anger. Grief. Pain. Lonliness. Emptiness. Guilt. And yet, she felt something deeper, an overwhelming sense of hope. She finally decided that it was relief, and as soon as she could name it, taste it, allow it to echo through her, she filed it away with the others. Relief. Shouldn't relief feel…better? Somehow it only stirred up more guilt until she gave up on grasping it and looked up to see Jack neatly taking the eggs out of the pan and placing them on hard plastic plates. He neatly slid one of the plates in front of her before sitting across from her and digging in. Rapunzel picked up her fork and started poking at the eggs. Jack looked up, conscious of her hesitance.
"They're safe, I promise," he said, lightly. She looked up at him, his mouth quirked up on one side. She tried to smile back, only managing to half-heartedly nod. Jack's grin disappeared as he looked back down at his own plate.
"You should eat," he sighed.
"I'm just not that hungry," she whispered. Jack nodded and bit his lip. He pushed his eggs around on his plate, watching the shapes change until he found a picture.
"I'm so sorry, Rapunzel," he said, keeping his voice low to match the somber tone in the kitchen. He put his hand on the table, silently reaching for her. She stared at the hand before placing her own in his. He squeezed it softly, hoping beyond hope that she would understand just how much he knew what she was going through. She looked up at him and their eyes locked, reading each other's pain. Finding their thoughts so clearly mirrored only made it worse. A tear spilled over and she brushed it away quickly.
And what about Jack? She thought to herself. What does this mean for us?
Rapunzel sighed and took her hand from Jack's to pick up her fork and try to force down the eggs. As miserable as she was, she couldn't ignore the gnawing feeling from inside. Or was that just the guilt, eating her from the inside out? Rapunzel ate, determined to stifle the feeling with the only accessible means. Eggs.
Jack watched her eat with a hunger that ran deeper than visceral needs, and returned to his plate. She finished first, scarfing down the last of the eggs with a grimace. It didn't quite get rid of the guilt, but it eased it for now. Jack could sense that she needed space to think. He rinsed off the plates and left them in the sink for later.
"Would you mind if I took a shower?" she asked, as Jack turned from the sink.
"Do you mind smelling like me?" he joked. She shook her head no, a soft expression breaking through the hardened mask of grief. "Then the shower is yours. You can borrow some of my clothes for tonight."
Jack led her to the small bathroom that lay across the hall from his room before disappearing behind his closed door. She gratefully eased the door closed and turned to face her reflection in the mirror over the sink. The light purple under her eyes had darkened and she looked as though she had aged ten years since the morning. She peeled her clothes off before stepping into the shower and eyeing the bottles on the shelf. He may not have the light floral scents that she was used to, but his smell was comforting. After a minute of staring at the foreign nozzle, she managed to turn the water on. She felt it heat up until the steam in the shower was nearly suffocating her. Rapunzel drew in slow breaths and switched it to the showerhead. She relaxed into the heat of the water and grabbed the bottle that supposedly was a combination of shampoo and conditioner.
Men. She thought fondly before squeezing out a glob and rubbing it into her scalp. For a second she forgot where she was. All she knew is that she was warm, safe, and surrounded by the smell of Jack. The sound of a door closing snapped her back into focus. She poked her head around the shower to see a bundle of clothes lying on the floor, just inside of the door. She smiled slightly, before rinsing out the shampoo. Jack would always take care of her. He was so much more than a best friend from childhood. He was her lifeline. He was always there, ready to throw a buoy or to put her on his shoulders. Rapunzel shoved her head under the water, blocking out thoughts that she shouldn't have on a day like this. Everything always came back to Jack.
Jack slipped out the front door after putting the clothes in the bathroom. He wanted to get food before she got out and he could tell that this would be a long shower. He put his key back into his pocket before pulling on his hood to block out the wind. It was unseasonably cool as Jack walked to the corner store, intent on getting something decent for her. He heard the chirp as he entered the store, the fluorescent lighting momentarily blinding him. Jack put his hood down before grabbing a small cart and pushing it into the first aisle. He treaded slowly down the aisle wondering what she would eat. Fruit, he decided and scanned the walls. He found the bins at the far end and walked over. Peaches, plums, apples, oranges, pears, bananas, and watermelons greeted him as he edged closer. He grabbed one of each and then headed down the next aisle. Twenty minutes later he checked out, hoping that he had found something that she liked. The chocolate was an afterthought, but he decided that if it could solve other problems it might take the edge off at least. He got a few items that caused the cashier's eyebrows to rise, but she made no comment on the feminine products and floral soap, to which Jack was eternally grateful. The little chirp signaled his departure as he made his way home.
Home, he thought, a pang going through his chest. This is how it should be. Rapunzel showering while he gets groceries, eating dinner together and laughing under the covers...it was what home should be. The images brought a flash of warmth to his cheeks that spread down his neck.
Rapunzel stepped out of the shower, a soft towel wrapped tightly around her. She shivered slightly in the absence of the hot water while she walked to the bundle of clothes. Jack may be skinny, but he was tall. Rapunzel rolled up the legs of the sweatpants several times before they were wrapped snugly around her ankles. She threw the blue hoodie on, smiling at Jack's peculiar taste in clothing. He had to have at least five of the same blue hoodie. She had just swept her hair up into a bun to keep it off of her neck when she heard Jack enter the apartment and close the door softly. She put the towel back before opening the door quietly and poking her head out of the door. Jack was in the kitchen, food covering the countertops. He stood in front of the open fridge, a hand rubbing the back of his head as he figured out how to organize it. Rapunzel hugged her arms and stepped into the kitchen.
Jack spun around on his heel, letting the fridge door close behind him.
"Hey," he said, his cheeks flushing slightly at the sight of her in his clothes. The hoodie was big on her despite his own small frame, but the pants were laughably larger, the cuffs rolled up to her ankles. He couldn't stop staring at her in them, images from dreams breaking through his subconscious. He could see them on the couch, her blissfully asleep in his arms. He saw her smiling at him in the first rays of light on a weekend. He saw her bouncing a little bundle in her arms late at night, cooing softly. Jack stopped himself, swallowing back the acid that crept up his throat.
Not now, he thought angrily. She needs to recover and all you can do is daydream. Get a grip!
"Hey," she said quietly, taking in the food that covered the counters. "You went shopping?" she surmised.
"Yeah. It was necessary. I'm not used to having a houseguest," he finished lamely. Rapunzel brought her lips in and nodded.
"I'm sorry," she said, her voice rasping with emotion. Before she could say anything else Jack embraced her tightly. He absorbed the shuddering of her body as she fought against the pain.
I should be relieved, she thought. So why can't I stop crying?
Rapunzel took a hesitant step back before addressing Jack.
"I should probably go to bed," she said, not trusting herself to speak above a hushed tone. Jack nodded as she turned to go to the guest room.
"Jack?" she said, turning around. He looked up to find her eyes staring into his. "Thank you."
He nodded again, biting his tongue to keep himself from telling her everything, from running to her and holding her until the pain vanished from her. Jack settled for just watching her close the door behind her as he turned back to the kitchen to put away the rest of the food.
That night, Jack tossed and turned, his frustration mounting as sleep eluded him. Thunder rolled overhead and lighting lit up the sky, bright flashes illuminating jagged pieces of his room. He punched his pillow before throwing it over his head to clear the noise. His thoughts crept up on him despite his best efforts to shove them down. Jack groaned softly at his inability to get any rest and removed the pillow, only to toss it to the side of the room. He flipped over and sat up, squinting at his alarm clock. The red glare of the letters read 3:02 AM. Jack rubbed a weary hand over his eyes, counting the hours until he had to wake up for his shift at the hospital. Disgruntled he fell back and brought the blanket over his head. He closed his eyes and began listing patient information to make good use of the time since sleep seemed impossible. As he slowly drifted to sleep, the details of room 6's injuries floating through his mind, he thought he heard a soft knock at the door. He poked his head out and waited for any movement or sign that he hadn't imagined it. The same soft knock was repeated and Jack got up and treaded to the door, the carpet cushioning his footfalls. He opened the door slowly to see Rapunzel standing there, evidence of her sleepless state written all over her face as well.
"I couldn't sleep," she explained softly. Jack nodded, before stepping aside to let her in the room. She took a curious glance around the room, eyes roving over the pile of laundry and various items strewn about. She gently sat on the side of the bed and pushed the sleeves of the hoodie up, exposing the bruises. Jack's eyes widened, he had completely forgotten that soon Rapunzel would be a patient herself.
"She didn't know that I," she began softly, eyes staring into Jack's. He walked over to the bed and sat beside her. "I was going to tell her only when it got serious. You know how she hates the hospital."
Jack nodded, too familiar with how her mother would be tense and curt with people who inquired about Rapunzel's health. All the nurses knew that she was abusive, but with the bruises from the cancer, how could they prove it? Rapunzel never let on, except by the dimming of her eyes when her mother was near. Her whole demeanor always changed from a vibrant ray of light to a softly burning candle.
"I don't know what made me think of it, but what if . . . what if I had told her? If she had been in the hospital with me then maybe—" Rapunzel cut off, not daring to voice the truth.
"No," Jack said firmly with a shake of the head. He took Rapunzel's hand in both of his and stared into her apologetic eyes. "There is nothing you could have done differently. She wouldn't have done anything about your condition until you got seriously ill. And you… she would have hidden you in that house. Right now you'd be," Jack stopped, aware of the tears brimming in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hid her face in his shoulder.
"Does it ever stop hurting?" she asked. Jack sighed and attempted to answer, "You'll always feel the absence. The hole never goes away completely. It's like a scab. New skin may grow over, but it will never be what it once was. There will always be the scar." Rapunzel nodded and Jack put his arm around her shoulder, bringing her closer.
"Thank you, Jack," she whispered, "You didn't have to do any of this."
"Yes," he breathed, "I did. You're my best friend. I would do anything for you. I just wish that I could make you feel better. I feel so helpless right now."
Rapunzel shook her head, her face still pressed against his shoulder.
"Right now, I just need you to be here for me. Just, exist."
Jack kissed her forehead before laying his cheek on top of her head and closing his eyes. The two stayed like this until Jack heard Rapunzel's breathing slow down, soft snores emitting from her sleeping figure. He chuckled and carefully moved her so that she was laying down, his pillow under her head. He drew up the covers and draped them over her, fearful of her getting too cold. She stirred, but didn't wake, mumbling incoherently in her sleep. Jack smiled before grabbing another pillow and carefully laying down on the bed beside her. He watched her sleeping face, so peaceful and free of the pain that plagued her waking self. The longing to reach out and stroke her hair, so soft and spilling around her pillow was unbearable. The moon shone through the window, giving her already golden hair an eerie glow. As he watched her, he dreamed of watching her sleep every night, watching her move and mumble through dreams and nightmares alike. He imagined her waking in the early hours to calm the baby or to get a glass of water. He could see her rubbing sleep from her eyes each morning, her hair a bedraggled mess from tossing and turning. Jack bit the inside of his cheek and flipped over in an attempt to sleep. Even without seeing her, the images flashed before him. Even more frustrated, his imagination took him down a sinister path. Pictures of Rapunzel hooked up to IVs and monitors, a faint beeping signaling her grip on life. Rapunzel losing hair again, her frightened eyes looking to him as history repeated itself. Her fear struck him the hardest. When she was small it was so easy to reassure her that everything would be fine. Now, it wouldn't be so simple. Jack flipped over on his side, reassuring himself that for now she was still healthy. He watched her face crumple up as she mumbled something, the only recognizable sound being his name. His eared pricked up as she repeated his name before calming down, a small smile playing on her lips. Jack smiled before taking her hand in his and finally giving into his exhaustion.
