Prometheus' POV

To: kronos107 , hyperioneast , oceanusblue , atlas506 , kriosdasouth prometheusfirestealer , typhondestroyer , koisnorthrockz

echidna457 , apollosun

CC: tartarus , gaiaearthmother , nemeanlion , nemesisrevenge , hecatemagic , janusrome , morpheus606dreams hebeyeahyouth geryonthreebodies

From: pandorasbox43

Subject: ASAP!

Dear Titans, Monsters, Gods and Ancient Spirits:

Greetings. This is Pandora, first woman and child of Earth and Water spirits, speaking. I was just thinking... why should the Olympians be in power? They are no better than those selfish, thick-headed mortals. What have they given us? We're completely ignored. We, The Pandorian Associates (copyright), should be in power. So I was thinking about overthrowing them once and for all.

I have a war plan sorted, if anyone is interested. Please bring as many reinforcements as possible- your children, friends, monsters, pets- anyone. If you want to proceed with this idea please email me back. I need a minimum of 16 replies out of the 18 I sent.

Let's rule the world!

Cheers,

Pandora

That, dear reader, was the email that awaited me on my PDA this morning when I woke up. Pandora is one of my 'old associates', you might say. She is also my sister-in-law. You might think she hated me- after all, I was the one that got her to release humanity's dark side.

My name is Prometheus, the titan of forethought. I like to minimize the damage whenever there is a war that seems quite unnecessary.

I was basically trying to help the humans. Fire put them way ahead of their time. They would've discovered it eventually, I'll wager, but I sped them up quite a few millennia I presume.

I mean, know. I'm the titan of forethought- I tell the future, I can change it once in a few millennia maybe.

Anyway, back to the story. I observed that Pandora had sent 18 emails to monsters, ancient spirits, minor gods and the titans that could help us most. I was all for the plan- we could SO win. She had sent the idea to Typhon, Echidna, Nemesis, Gaia, Tartarus, Kronos, Atlas, Apollo... wait, APOLLO?!

Apollo was an honoured Olympian, God of the Sun, medicines, poetry, archery and oracles. Why would Pandora send HIM an email?

Oh no... vision! Pandora was about to send an email to Astraeus, the Titan-God of the dusk, but Apollo's email was loaded into her computer and it got Apollo instead of Astraeus because P comes before S! This could ruin EVERYTHING!

I HAVE TO WARN PANDORA!

To: pandorasbox43

CC: empty

From: prometheusfirestealer

Subject: ASAP!

Dear Pandora, my sis,

How are you doing? I'm not so good, since I'm still stuck to this stupid rock by the legs, but I saw your email. You're looking quite alive for someone I thought was well dead and gone. Well it's great to see you healthy and alive.

As for the plan, I'd love to. There's nothing better I'd like more than revenge... as do you. I can bring many reinforcements- empousai, dracanae, laistrygonians, hyperboreans, even, if you wish.

However, I foresee a flaw in your little plan. That is, that you personally sent a copy of the email straight to our enemies, the Olympians! Look at your last recipient on the first list: APOLLO!

Dear Pandora: you HAVE gone a little rusty there! You have spoilt our invasion plan! Our only chance of savouring this is by going straight to Olympus, stealing Apollo's PDA, and deleting it. That, dear friend, is harder than stealing apples from the Garden of the Hesperides.

Please send me your war plans: I would love to help you overthrow Olympus!

Graces

Prometheus

Ahh- thank goodness that's over. I really hate confronting people. (I once met a demigod called Perseus Jackson. His friend Thalia Grace called me a slimeball. They didn't give up Hope (Elpis) like I suggested and let Kronos take power. They then, with the assist of their Olympian friends, took down Kronos. How dare they! I will never forgive them.)

I contacted my Laistrygonian friends first. Just in case you're a regular mortal, reading this for entertainment, I should probably explain that a Laistrygonian is a vicious cannibal giant that can be as tall as 6 metres.

I, being an all-powerful Titan, simply teleported myself and materialized in a dark, dingy cave- the home of the main Laistrygonian tribe. I whooshed mini-fireworks down the alley that said 'I come in peace!' and the doors were open for me. It's amazing what modern day engineers come up with these days.

I gasped. I heard on The Daily Titan (a newspaper! DUH, as you moderns would say.) reported that a team of specifically trained metal-working Cyclopes visited the Laistrygonians' main tribe to do some fixing about. Talk about the understatement of the millennium.

Inside, it was totally decked out in dark purple velvet curtains over the walls, though why they would need curtains in a cave beat me. Carved on the open walls were intricate scenes of death, destruction and the most famous Laistrygonians in history. Hanging on the ceiling were the most delicate, detailed bronze and gold sculptures of Laistrygonians. Figurines of the most worshipped 'gonians, Cyclopes, Hyperboreans and other huge monsters stood on the unbreakable glass coffee tables (delivered specially by ITHAX EXPRESS. (He's the Messenger Titan, obviously). The floor was a deep red velvet and they had a flipping karaoke machine, for Kronos' sake!

The Laistrygonian leader, Athanasius, replied me with his strong bellow. "DEAR ME, PROMETHEUS!" he cried. The sound was mostly similar to a bomb being fired. It was that loud. "IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU, ISN'T IT! WHAT DO YOU DESIRE FROM US LAISTRYGONIANS THAT MAKES YOU TAKE THIS LONG JOURNEY?"

I gulped. Laistrygonians are loud enough to make titans like me nervous. But I had to talk. I was here on a mission: DESTROY OLYMPUS.

"D-dear me Athanasius! You've quite g-grown!" I stammered. Then I got angry at myself. Cut to the chase, little wimp! I steeled my nerves and continued in my most business-like voice, "The thing is, Pandora has a plan to overthrow Olympus. She's emailed all the best monsters and baddies, the enemies of Olympus, and she's asked us to bring the best reinforcements we had. Anthanasius, you have the power."

The Laistrygonian bellowed. "WOW, PROMETHEUS! YOU'VE REALLY GOTTEN FUNNIER OVER THE YEARS! IT'S SO INSPIRING, I'M THINKING OF SETTING UP MY OWN CIRCUS!"

This wasn't supposed to go like this.

"What ever do you mean, fellow ally?" I asked cautiously.

"Well, you surely don't think us Laistrygonians are STUPID, do you Prom Prom?" he said

I ground my teeth at the stupid, annoying nickname he gave me. "No, dear Laistrygonian. What do you mean?"

He chuckled. "We've TRIED to battle Olympus. All our forces weren't strong enough. You've fought in the Titanomachy. You've fought in the SECOND Titan War. We've lost in both. We don't have the power, knowledge or strength. It's time you faced what we Laistrygonians have accepted a long time ago, when Percy, the Son of Poseidon, cast Kronos back into Tartarus. Olympus is too powerful. Mount Othrys has crumbled into ruins thanks to that upstart Roman demigod Jason, son of Jupiter. We can't."

"There are always ways," I growled. "We can learn from our mistakes and improve them, eliminate them. We can think strategy. Element of surprise, for instance. Capturing Athena, or Artemis. That strategy Atlas used for Titan War II? Marvellous! We can reuse it, but make sure he stays AWAY from that mountain. We can win this thing!"

The Laistrygonian put his beefy hand on me with sympathy. Well, at least I detected sympathy. I'm the Titan of Forethought, but I DO have quite the hand in emotions. "Prometheus, if you, the Titans and the monsters want to fight this war, we won't stop you. We won't help the opposition. But we won't help YOU either. We will be like Hyperboreans. Totally neutral creatures, unless we're sure our side could win. Go, creature of Earth and Sky. Make us proud and PERHAPS we'll join in for the final battle."

I felt betrayed, and extremely, absolutely ANNOYED. I turned on my heel and started walking away. "Fine. Be like that."

The Laistrygonians had the nerve to chuckle as I teleported myself out of their stinky cave and materialized at home, stumbling a bit.