I've been sitting alone in this cold hospital waiting room for hours. The uncomfortable chair I've been sitting in has perfectly molded to my body, and I'm pretty sure I've memorized the drinks and snacks that are in the vending machine in front of me.

I'm slouched over, trying to get comfortable, and impatiently tapping my fingers on the table next to me. I just can't stop thinking about Josh. My mind won't stop playing different scenarios over and over, each one more gruesome than the last. I find myself trapped in a waking nightmare. Since I've known Josh, him getting into a motorcycle accident has always been one of my greatest fears.

I haven't gotten to see him yet, only his mom has been allowed in the room with him. I'm not his family, so the staff has me relegated to this god forsaken waiting area. His dad and brother, Connor, are on their way here, and should arrive soon.

Suddenly, I see the doctor and Josh's mom, Michelle, in the doorway of my little waiting room. I'm not surprised; her cheeks are tear stained as well. Her head is bowed, and she is fiddling with the tissues balled up in her hands.

"How is he?" I manage to croak out, my voice shakier than I had expected.

Michelle puts her hands over her face and starts crying again, sending a feeling of dread deep into the pit of my stomach. I jump up from my chair as fast as possible, and envelop her in a hug. I have no idea how long we stand there, sobbing in each other's arms.

"Shall we discuss Josh's state now?" the doctor speaks, and launches us back into reality.

"Yes, doctor, please tell Jennifer," Michelle manages to say through her cries.

I let go of Michelle, and wrap my arms around myself. I've never been more nervous in my entire 24 years of life. I stare at Josh's doctor with wide eyes, anxiously awaiting his speech.

"Hi Jennifer, my name is Dr. Andrews, I'll be taking care of Josh while he's here and monitoring his condition."

I feel like I can't breathe.

"As you're aware, Josh was in a pretty bad motorcycle accident last night. He is still unconscious."

I can't stop the tears from flowing. Please, let Josh be okay.

"Is he going to be okay? Is he going to wake up soon?" I ask in between sobs.

"Josh has a broken leg, and has suffered some head trauma. But I can tell you, if he wasn't wearing his helmet, there is no way he would have survived the accident."

"But will he wake up?" I ask again.

Dr. Andrews hesitates, and rubs the nape of his neck. It's all the answer that I need.

"I'm sorry…" he says, in a sincere voice, probably the same voice he uses to deliver bad news to all his patient's families.

"We haven't seen any improvements yet, and that's extremely troubling. We're doing everything we can to help Josh and make him comfortable. We're still running tests to try and find out the severity of his head trauma, and look for any brain damage. Please, try and stay strong and positive, for Josh."

The same question keeps repeating itself in my head, why is this happening to Josh? The most amazing person I've ever known. The love of my life.

I'm in shock, and it's hard to process anything Dr. Andrews is saying. At some point, while he is talking to Michelle, my mind wanders…

"I don't fucking understand, Jennifer." Josh yells at me.

He is furious at me, because my publicist insists going public about our relationship isn't a good idea, and instead, Liz wants to start rumors of my dating someone else, as a diversion.

"I'm so sorry, Josh, but this is what Liz thinks is best, and I trust her."

"What happened to making our relationship public? Now you're going to throw yourself into a fake one? What about all the other times you disregarded Liz's opinion? Why start obeying now?"

He's still yelling. I've never seen Josh this angry before.

"Please calm down. It's really not that big of a deal," I shoot back. I need to start thinking before I speak, because I've just added fuel to Josh's burning fire of rage.

"NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL?" he screams, louder than before. "I don't want anyone to think that my girlfriend is dating another man. I want them to know you're dating me! Why is that so hard for you to understand, Jennifer?" He walks in the bathroom and slams the door behind him.

I sit alone on the couch for about 10 minutes, and then Josh emerges from the bathroom, eyes swollen and red. The last thing I want to do is hurt the man I love.

"Josh…" I say, hoping he calmed himself down in the bathroom, and isn't angry anymore.

Before I can even finish saying his name, his fist hits the wall.

"Goddamn it, Jennifer! How can you think this is okay? You say you love me, but you're willing to let the public think you're in a relationship with another man."

He stares at me with his jaw clenched, waiting for my response. I can't bring myself to look him in the eyes, so I look at his bloodied knuckles, then my eyes shift to the dent in the wall. I agree with Liz, that this is the best plan. I just wish I could get him to see that.

I hear the long sigh that escapes his lips. Chancing a look at him, I see his shoulders drop and his next words to me are so full of hurt that my heart threatens to shatter into a million pieces.

"Would it really be so bad if the press found out about us? Are you ashamed of me? Is that it? Is that why you don't want to go public?"

I just want to take his pain away, but I don't know how.

"I do love you Josh. I'm sorry, it's just…" I begin to try and explain myself.

"I'll be back later." He cuts me off and walks out of my apartment, slamming the door behind him.

I sit alone, in an eerie silence, pondering what I'm going to do. I can't help but think this plan is going to help protect and preserve our relationship. I just wish I didn't have to hurt the man I love.

The last time I saw him has been haunting me since I got that horrible phone call. Had I known then that an hour later our lives would be changed forever, our hopes for the future more than likely shattered, I would have told Liz no, without any hesitation.

I haven't been able to stop blaming myself for the accident. He was angry with me, and he stormed out. He was undoubtedly driving recklessly, and that's how he got into this horrifying accident.

It's my fault that Josh is lying in a hospital bed, unconscious.

"Jennifer, are you listening?" Dr. Andrews asks me, once again bringing me back into reality.

"No, sorry, I must have spaced out. I missed that last part." My voice sounds so weak, so broken.

"Jen," Michelle says, "we found something in Josh's pocket that I think you should see."

Taking my hand, she pulls me back over to the chairs, and she sits.

A million things run through my mind as I sit down next to her.

Drugs? No, Josh would never do that.

A gun? Some sort of weapon?

Why am I thinking these ridiculous thoughts? I know Josh better than he knows himself. It can't be anything bad. Which makes the looks on Michelle and Dr. Andrews' faces that much more puzzling to me.

I'm not expecting what Dr. Andrews holds out to me.

A small black leather box.

My heart is pounding as I open it.

An engagement ring.