" How many times is your name- " I ask but get cut of.
" 49. " He says in a whisper.
" 49 is a lot. " I whisper back. " You could have just asked me for help if you had, have problems- "
Will suddenly takes my hand, facing me to look him in the eyes.
" If I get reaped, you have to promise me- "
" Stop it Will. " I try to look away but Will cup my cheek with his other hand, gently force me to look at him.
" If I get reaped, promise me, you feed my family Rose. Take care of them. Take care of Abby, even if this is my last reaping, you have to promise. " Will says serious.
" Of course Will. We've always promised each other that. " I whisper.
He looks into my eyes, and I can't help but to look back.
He looks down at my lips, while licking his own. With his hand still cupped my chin, he leans forward.
But I don't.
" Will, please, not again. " I whisper just a few inches away from his lips.
He doesn't do anything for a long time. And as he close his eyes with a shaky sigh, I lean out again, with a racing heart as I look at the woods in front of me without paying attention, just listening to Will's shaky breaths as he run his hand through his hair when he gets nervous.
" Why, Rose? Why? " He asks with anger in his voice. I sigh loud, annoyed. I just don't want to fight right now, again.
" You know why Will. " I say, stand up and leave him behind me with my bow in my hand. But he doesn't give up. He never gives up.
He follows me and get a grip at my shoulder making me turn around. His eyes are filled with confusion and anger, making my legs go weak, and I have to face away from him.
" No, I actually don't know why Rose! " He says even angrier. " Just like I don't know why you're keeping me a secret. "
" I don't! I don't keep you a secret! " I snap angry. I was so tired of having these fights almost everyday.
" Then why are we strangers in school? Why do you hide the fact that you're hunting?!"
" Because the forest is the only place I can be 'me'. The other me. " I bark angry. " I can't be Rose Mellark who hunts and Rose Mellark the girly one in the same world. In the same District. "
It got quiet between us once again, and I can see Will swallow. The birds around us don't care if we scream or not. They keep singing with not a worry in their lives.
" What.. what does that have to do with … us? " He whispers.
I close my eyes and lean myself against a tree as I feel him sigh shakily again, waiting for an answer just like I try to find one.
" If, we.. be something together, I have to be Rose with a dress, here too. In the forest, the only place I can be a hunter. "
Will laugh sarcastic.
" So it has nothing to do with me being Seam? "
My eyes flew wide open as I feel my face turning red off anger.
" Not again, Will! " I almost scream.
" What? It's true, because you have no problem when Roy Johnson flirts around you. "
" He flirts with everybody! "
" But especially you, you know it! "
I sigh annoyed and shake my head. Rory Johnson is the most talked people in the school. The girls love him for being so flirty and I know that he is most to me. And sometimes, I can't help but to blush, but it doesn't mean anything. Almost every merchant kids is picking on me because of my tan seam skin and merchant blond hair. I know that I'm half merchant, but I'm born in seam, raised in seam. Live in seam.
" I am already confused where I belong in this freaking system. " I whisper angry.
I turn around to where I hide my bow.
" Are you leaving? " Will asks behind me.
" I came here to forget about the reaping, but this fight we always have is just worse. " I say angry and put my bow back in the dead tree lying on the ground.
As I walk hurried to the fence I hear Will scream.
" One day Rose, one day you'll be mine. "
As the sun is slowly falling down from district 12, I can't help but to feel that feeling again.
Soon, the sun will come up again, reminding us that it's reaping's day. As I walk fast through the town, so no one would see me in my hunting jeans, I can't help but to think about my mother. My loving mother, who is always going to regret giving birth to someone who only gives her burdens. Who always makes her cry.
As I walk through the seam, I start to hear sobs. I can't help but to think it's me sobbing without knowing, but then, I hear it clear from the bushes covered with dust. I walk slowly to the sobbing sound, and when I see the dark brown hair sticking out the bush, I can't help but to sigh.
" Abby. " I whisper.
Abby turns around in the bushes, leaves and sticks in her fluffy hair as result.
" Rose? " I sigh again when I see her red puffy eyes and snot flow from her nose.
I take her hand and drag her out the bushes as I put my arms around her, sitting down on the dirty ground as she starts to cry even more on my shoulder.
" I'm so- so scared. " Abby cries even more and becoming a ball in my lap and I can't help but feeling my own tears coming up. She is just twelve years old, acting like she's ten. She can't survive a arena.
" You're name is only in there once, right? " I ask her as I swallow down my own tears. I feel her nod against my shoulder.
" There is no way your name is going to get picked, I promise. " I say with a smile, to make her feel better. Abby leans out, looking at me with new tears in her eyes as she has her hand around my neck.
" What about Will? " She sobs. " He has so many- many in there. "
I give Abby a smile, taking out a stick from her messy hair.
" And what if he gets picked out? He can survive the Games if he can survive you. " I tease her and Abby can't help but laugh. I look at the little girl in my lap.
I remembered when Abby could crawl, and Will wanted to show me so badly that he just picked her up and ran all the way to my house to show. Gale and his wife April was so angry at him, but when they saw Abby crawl all the way to me, and when I picked her up and kissed her on the cheek, they couldn't scream at Will as he joined me to kiss her too. And when she got bullied in school the first day because her hair was messy, she had come to me and I had just looked at the the ones who bullied her with an angry stare and they never said a word again, and Abby saw me as her hero.
I know that even if it was Will's sister, I couldn't help but to love her as my own too.
" If you get picked up, I know you would survive. " Abby says in a whisper.
I get shocked by her sudden statement.
" What are you saying, little bird? " I say with a hint of joke.
" If you get picked to the Games, I know you'd survive. Because everyone would think you're like every girl in school, and you would be like a unicorn with magic powers and prove everyone wrong. I know you would. "
Even if what Abby says is a joke, I can't help to feel warm swell up inside me.
I know everyone in the district sees me like that, a girly girl, and I am. But when you are hunting, you're not girly, and I didn't want to confuse either me or the district.
But when Abby says it like that, that I can survive even if I'm girly, just makes me think that there is hope for me to be both without confusion.
" Thanks, little bird. " I whisper and hug her tight.
I know, there is no unicorns in The Hunger Games, but it's always nice with unicorns!
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-L
