Disclaimer: Don't own them

Disclaimer: Don't own them!

Title: They don't make them like they used to.

1:10 pm.

Right when Rogue opened the bedroom's door, she felt she was entering a luminous, peaceful and eucalyptus freshened atmosphere. The walls were pearl colour, with paintings of jungles and woods, and African craftworks rested here and there; daylight came in through the balcony's clear crystal, which, more than a balcony was like a greenhouse.

"Ah'm even afraid to touch anythin' 'round here" she told herself, stepping down the rung that led to the plants, roses and other flowers' display.

Storm had asked Rogue to water the plants while she was gone; there was a mission to carry out somewhere, and everyone in the mansion had been gone for three days. So Rogue pretty much had the house to herself…

"Y' know y're always beautiful, cherie, but dat little dress fits y' like a glove," she rolled her eyes when hearing Remy's mischievous voice behind her back. Well, maybe she didn't really have the house only to herself.

"Don't yah ever, ever," she turned around, a finger raised, and walked towards him: "…ever again say the word glove in mah presence, 'kay?"

"Can't argue with dat," he grinned, holding her hand between his and placing a kiss on the back of it: "Life's been way better since dose are gone."

Her lips turned into a smile that almost melted him inside:

"Yeah…" She was to say something else, but he didn't allow her to, silencing her with a kiss.

Not like having the house to herself and Remy was a problem to her, and certainly not a problem to him.

When the mansion was crowded, that is, almost always, they had to tiptoe to each other's rooms at night or sneak out and go somewhere more private, because it was okay that everyone knew they were together, but it wasn't like they could arrive to the kitchen for breakfast holding hands and wearing robes: there are kids in the house, blah, blah. So they had made the most out of these three days, playing rabbits and just enjoying themselves. Too bad the fun would be over tonight, when everyone would be back.

That's why Rogue wasn't surprised when he wrapped his arms around her hips and lifted her up in the air, entering back in the room:

"Ah gotta water the plants, hun!" she said, knowing he wouldn't release her just like that: "Ah was supposed to do it everyday."

"Y' can tell Storm y've been busy with me" he winked.

"Yeah, that's a great excuse," she put her arms around his neck, looking down at him, her white bangs falling over his face: "Don't yah ever get enough?"

"Of y'?" he placed her on the bed, never separating his lips from her neck: "Non, I always gotta come back for more."

"Hey, wait, wait!" she bent her head back, placing her hands on his shoulders on a vain attempt to push him away: "What do yah think yah're doin'?"

"Currently," he placed his hands on her thighs, pulling her dress up: "I'm undressin' y'."

"Oh, really?" she laughed: "But wait, no, let's go somewhere else, are yah insane? This is Storm's!"

"So what? She won't know; 'sides, I'm sure dis bed hasn't seen any action in a while."

"Oh mah Gawd, shut your mouth!" The idea was attractive somehow, she recognized, but… no, she couldn't, could she? "This is wrong, Rems, we can't."

"Wanna bet?" he pulled her dress completely up to her chest and started to do pretty illegal things with her uncovered body:

"Remy! Ah'm serious, this ain't right… oh, Gawd… it does feel right… yeah… agrrr, Ah hate yah! Yah always trick me into this kind of… oh, don't stop…"

(…)

2:30 pm.

"This is ridiculous" Rogue covered her face with her hands: "Ah don't even wanna see it."

"Relax, chere, it can't be dat bad," he checked underneath the bedspread: "Uh…"

"Is that a good or a bad uh?" But the expression on his face said it all: "Oh Gawd, we're so messed up."

The both of them had ended up on the floor, besides a bed that now displayed a 45 degrees inclination, like a freaking slide: the two back legs had collapsed right in the middle of… ehem, well, you know.

Remy stared at the damages for a few moments, and finally hinted:

"I guess dey don't make 'em like dey used to, hein?"

"How in the heck are we gonna explain this?!" she stood up, completely ignoring his previous comment and trying to make him understand the gravity of the situation: "Oh Storm, Ah was so excited 'bout waterin' your plants that Ah started t' jump on your bed, or maybe we should just come clean an', guess what Storm? Yeah, we were havin' sex in your feng shui adjusted bed! Ah'm gonna die! Ah'm dead!"

All through Rogue's description of their dreadful future, Remy had first smirked slightly, then began to chuckle, and now he was laughing openly, recognizing how beautiful she looked when she was angry and naked.

"How can yah laugh at this?! Jesus…"

Yes, she was worried and regretful and annoyed, but the whole scenario was so damn insane that she ended up pressing her temples with her fingers and laughing too. That's when he came by and cupped her face between his hands:

"Hey, chere, look at me: don't y' know Remy always got everythin' under control?"

She looked at him sceptically and sighed:

"We're gonna need a miracle this time."

(…)

3:50 pm.

The middle aged man with a moustache and old, shabby blue jeans, looked suspiciously at the broken legs, then at the two southerners, then back at the bed. Rogue and Remy were standing there behind him, waiting for the verdict. There was a sepulchral silence until he finally stood up, put some kind of tool inside his pocket and faced them:

"So… how did you say this happened?" It was pretty obvious he was struggling to contain laughter.

"We didn't," Rogue huffed, folding her arms.

"Listen, mon ami, de question here is: can y' fix it or not?"

"Oh, sure I can" the guy dried his forehead with a handkerchief of undefined colour: "But I gotta take it to my workshop."

Hope was immediately erased from Rogue's face:

"What? Why? When would yah bring it back?"

"Hmmm… tomorrow afternoon, with luck."

"No, no, no," she spoke again: "We need it now, in three or four hours at most."

"I'm afraid that's impossible" the man chortled: "I've got my equipment there, tools, everything. Can't do it here."

Remy stared directly into the guy's eyes, trying to use all of his empathy power to convince him; but it would have been easier if he was a she: "But can't y' take it now an' bring it in a few hours? We'll pay y' double. Triple."

But the man frowned and shook his head: "No way, it's Sunday! We close early today. Listen kids, if this is your favourite love nest or something, I'll have it ready for tomorrow, that's all I can do. Take it or leave it."

(…)

4:25 pm.

"Maybe yah could blow the whole place up, 'cause your power went outta control" she suggested, staring blankly at the wall.

"Powers outta control sounds more like y', cherie" Remy was by her side, manoeuvring an ace of spades in between his fingers. They both were resting against the inclined surface, like they were going down a slide: "Y' absorbed Storm once, didn't y'? What if her psyche took over yer mind, y' came to her bedroom, thikin' it's yours, y're really pissed off for some reason, so y' just messed de whole place up?"

Her eyes brightened for a moment, but then she dismissed the idea:

"Nah, the Prof would take a peek inside mah head an' see it's all bullshit."

"Better if it's only him who finds out, instead of everyone: Scotter, Jean, de kids, de Wolverine…" When pronouncing that last name, for the first time since this started, there was a hint of worry in Remy's face.

"No, this can't be happenin'" she rubbed her eyes: "We gotta repair it somehow! Yah, Rems! Don't yah fix bikes an' cars and stuff?"

"Oui, but I see no engine or wheels 'round here…"

"Agrrr… this is all your fault." She had wanted to take that out, but once she did, she regretted it: "Ah'm sorry, Ah…"

"Non, it's 'kay" he admitted: "It is my fault, for a change."

"Nah, Sugah: it takes two to tango, doesn't it?" she smiled.

He caressed the top of her head and all of a sudden, jumped off the bed or what was left of it:

"Allons, chere, stand up. We're gonna fix dis, y'll see."

(…)

9:50 pm.

Rogue was spooning her cereal and Remy had already drank about a gallon of juice, only making time for Logan to get out of the kitchen. Everyone was tired from the trip, and they had already said their goodnights and headed off to bed. Now it was only the Canadian left, so they could talk in private for a moment.

Finally, and giving them a last suspicious glare, Logan took a couple of beers and left. Rogue could breathe again:

"Mah own damn shadow scares me now."

"Calm down, chere, it's gonna be okay."

She glimpsed behind her back before whispering:

"Yah think that superglue will make it?"

"Oui, we both sat on the bed an' it was fine, just like new. 'Sides, if it breaks again, we'll have nothin' to do with it anymore."

She felt a little better, reassured by his words and just by his presence:

"Yeah… maybe we can get away with this one."

(…)

Next day, 10:05 am.

There was usually a Danger Room session every Monday morning, but not today; that was weird coming from Logan, but maybe he decided to give everyone a break after the mission. So Rogue woke up later than accustomed, took a shower and decided to go grab some breakfast, still praying for her and Remy's little secret would remain hidden. But hey, if she hadn't heard anything about it so far, maybe everything did go well, right?

So taking a deep breathe, she closed her bedroom's door behind her back and started to make her way down the hallway.

"It's okay," she thought: "Everythin's normal, fine an' dandy…"

And it was, until she saw, walking in her direction, the person she would have least expect to see and the one she'd wished not to see ever again.

"Wha… what…?" She couldn't say anything else; both her body and her mind were like frozen.

"Hey! How're you doing?" The man greeted, wearing the same jeans and waving hello with a hammer.

She looked around, a terrified look in her face: "What're yah doin' here?!"

"My job, I guess," but seeing Rogue's puzzled face, he explained himself: "They called me to fix the damn bed. Put it in my truck already. Hey, next time you're gonna attempt some home improvement, try a different brand of glue."

He seemed very amused at all this, differently from Rogue:

"But yah…" she lowered her voice even more, scared even to articulate words too much: "Yah didn't tell 'em 'bout us, right? That yah came here yesterday an' stuff?"

The guy measured his answer for a few seconds, but finally chuckled:

"No, don't worry. It'll be our little secret."

"Please…!" she sighed: "Don't tell her, Ah'd really appreciate it…"

"Her? Oh no, it was a dude the one who hired me." Before she could say anything, the man continued talking: "Ah, here he comes! Sir, I forgot to give you the receipt."

Rogue turned around to see Logan coming down the hallway. He slowed down for the fraction of a second, but then kept walking with what Rogue thought was the most awkward expression she had seen in his face.

"Eh, yeah, thanks," he snatched the piece of paper from the guy's hand, not meeting Rogue's eyes once.

The three of them stayed there for a few seconds, not knowing what to say, or do, or where to look at.

"Well, I better get going. I know the way out," the man glimpsed at them sardonically before leaving.

Rogue didn't know if it was better to leave right away or to stay:

"So…" she dared to speak.

"Yeah?" Logan frowned, still not looking directly to her eyes.

"Ah was, eh… askin' who the hell he was."

"And?"

"Yah came."

"Oh, yes, he came to fix my… computer."

"Yah've got a computer?"

"Yeah, you've got a problem with that?"

"No! No…"

"Okay."

"'kay," she echoed, right when Logan started to walk away, saving the receipt in his pocket.

END (of the second one shot.)

Note: I wanted to say thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chappie; I really didn't expect that many reviews, and I couldn't thank you guys enough for them. Actually, I wish I could send you some quesillo, it's a really yummie dessert from where I live; but I can't, so all I can do is working harder on my fics and thank you guys again.

The idea for this little one shot appeared in my head one day, long time ago, so I really needed to take it out. Btw, remember I'm learning English, if you see some mistakes, you know. So, thanks again a please drop me a review!! You'll get an imaginary quesillo if you do.

Next one shot, coming up soon ;-)