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No Clara is not Tony's mother, but there will be a lot of tension between them.
"The present changes the past. Looking back you do not find what you left behind."
Kiran Desai
Chapter Two
Clara had set out for the Helicarrier as soon as she'd received the news about Clint and Loki. Fury had decided it best that she not collect the others, seeing that she definitely wouldn't be the one to inspire co-operation among them.
"Any luck with finding Clint?" Clara asked Natasha, as they walked through the hangar towards the newly arrived quinjet.
"Nothing yet" said Natasha
"Don't worry, we'll find him" Clara assured her, "And until then, we can occupy ourselves with the incredibly enjoyable task of taking down an almost literal God"
"When has the impossible ever been a problem for us?" Natasha asked, Coulson and Steve exiting the quinjet, "What is it that you always say?"
"It's not impossible just improbable" she answered, as they neared the men, "Always works to encourage people"
Clara looked over at Steve, even though she'd seen him before since he'd woken up, it still felt like the first time in seventy years. His clothes were even old-fashioned, his hair still styled as it was. For a second it seemed as if no time had passed at all. But then she saw how he avoided her gaze, his body tensing, hers reacting with just as much tension.
"Agent Romanoff" said Coulson, "This is Captain Rogers"
"Mam" said Steve, nodding curtly at Clara
"Hi" replied Natasha, before turning to Phil, "They need you on the bridge, they're starting the face trace"
"I'll see you there" nodded Phil, walking past them and back inside
"It was quite the buzz around here, finding you in the ice" said Natasha, as they began walking, Clara falling into step next to Steve, "I thought Coulson was gonna swoon. Did he ask you to sign his Captain America trading cards yet?"
"Trading cards?" Steve asked
"They're vintage" said Natasha, "He's very proud"
"Saying he's a fan is a bit of an understatement" Clara told him, "He's asked me a million questions about you"
Steve nodded at her, clearly still unsure of how to act around her. She looked away from him, coughing to hide her embarrassment. She didn't think that things would be like they were back in the 40s, but she hadn't expected this level of awkwardness. Even when they'd first met, things had never been as awkward as they were now.
"Doctor Banner" said Steve, as Clara crossed her arms, straightening her stance and steeling her face
"Yeah, hi" said Banner, taking Steve's hand and shaking it, "They told me you'd be coming"
"Word is you can find the cube" said Steve
"And...uh, is that the only word, on me?" Asked Banner, his gaze flicking over the hanger, as his hands fiddling together
"It's the only word I care about" said Steve
"I'm gonna go inform Fury of their arrival" Clara told Natasha
She cast one last gaze towards Steve, before turning her back and heading inside. She guessed that she probably should have spent more time with Steve when he'd woken up, helped him get used to this new world. But she just couldn't. Even visiting him when he was asleep after they'd found him was hard. Thoughts of Steve, led to thoughts of Bucky, which led to thoughts of Howard, which led her further and further down a very painful memory lane. Steve was a living reminder of everything she had tried to forget. Of everything, and everyone, that she had lost.
"Steve and Banner are here" she said to Fury, walking up to the platform, "Natasha's bringing them inside"
"And has Rogers spoken to you?" Asked Fury
"If a nod counts" she said
"Well, maybe you should have visited him when I told you to" he said smugly
"Don't you dare say I told you so" she grimaced, "There are more factors involved in my decisions then you are aware of"
"I'm sure" he nodded, she glared at him but did not go into further explanation of her decision making,
"Where are we with finding Loki?" She asked, "He doesn't seem the type to hide away, he'll create a spectacle soon enough"
"And we'll find him when he does" said Fury,
"That might be too late" she pointed out, "He's already got a death count, he obviously has no problem with casualties"
"It may be the only way" said Fury
"I know that"
Before they could continue, they were interrupted when Natasha led Steve and Banner into the room, turning to watch both of them. Steve was looking around the room in amazement, whilst Banner was uncomfortable, his eyes shooting towards the guards and their guns, his hands fumbling. Steve didn't look at her as she kept her eyes trained on him.
"You need to stop watching him, it's getting creepy" Natasha told her, as she walked past
"It is not" she grumbled
"We're at level sir" Maria announced to Fury
"Good, let's vanish" ordered Fury, before turning around to face Steve and Banner, "Gentlemen"
Fury walked towards the desk, Steve meeting him, pulling out his wallet and handing Fury a ten dollar note. Fury smirked as he took it, before continuing on to Banner.
"Impressive, isn't it" Clara said to Steve, as she approached him
"Definitely something new" he said,
The pair of of them began to walk around the room, Steve taking it all in. She desperately wanted to reach out to him, to ease his discomfort in some way. But the brush of her hand against his only heightened his unease, it almost seemed as though her touch had burned him, the speed at which he pulled away, shoving his hands in his pockets.
"It can be a bit overwhelming" she said, shaking off his reaction, "But you'll get used to it. One day"
"One day" Steve scoffed
Clara raised her eyebrow, but said nothing. Steve was still aclimitizing himself to the normal technology of the time. The Helicarrier, was something that would astound anyone of this age.
"We're sweeping every wirelessly accessible camera on the planet" said Coulson, after Banner had inquired about the search for the cube, "Cellphones, laptops. If it's connected to a satellite, it's eyes and ears for us"
"That's still not going to find them in time" mused Natasha, squatting down to look at one of the screens
"You have to narrow your field" said Banner, "How many spectrometers do you have access to?"
"How many are there?" Asked Fury
"Call every lab you know, tell them to put them on the roof and calibrate them for gamma rays" said Banner, taking off his jacket and rolling it up, "I'll rough out a tracking algorithm, basic cluster recognition. At least we could rule out a few places. Do you have somewhere for me to work?"
"Agent Romanoff" called out Fury, Natasha standing up and walking towards him, "Can you show Dr Banner to his laboratory?"
"You'll love it, doc, we've got all the toys" said Natasha as she led him away
Clara watched Coulson and Steve talking, finding Coulson's fangirling to be almost adorable. She grinned, knowing that this was Coulson childhood dream come true, and that all the attention made Steve very uncomfortable.
"We got a hit" said Sitwell, "67% match, wait cross match, 79% match"
"Location?" Asked Coulson, walking over to the computer
"Stuttgart, Germany" replied Sitwell, "28, Konigstrasse. He's not exactly hiding"
"Captain" said Fury, "You're up"
"Nick" said Clara, walking up to him, "Something's not right about this"
"Explain" he said, turning to face her
"Why is Loki in Germany? What's there that he wants?" She asked, "And why didn't he hide his face, hm? If he has a plan, how does this fit in?"
"You're suspicious" said Fury, "Good, I trust your gut. Stay here"
"Why?" She asked, crossing her arms, "You trust my gut, but you don't trust me around Steve"
"Not yet" he said, "Right now I don't trust either of you around each other. Too much history, too uncertain"
"And you hate to be uncertain" she said disdainfully,
"You're more useful to me here" he said, "Steve can look after himself"
"I don't doubt that" she claimed, causing Fury to raise his eyebrows, "Okay, so I'm worried. You can't blame me. He's been stuck in the ice for seventy years and now he's going up against someone who's basically a god. Not the most reassuring of circumstances"
"Stark will be there to help too"
"Because Steve and Tony are completely compatible to work together" she said sardonically, "Tony doesn't play ball with anyone"
"We need something to inspire him" suggested Fury
"For what? The Avengers?" She asked, "You didn't even want Tony on the team"
"Desperate times call for desperate measures" said Fury
"Don't we know it" she mused, walking away from him
"Fury not letting you out?" Natasha asked her
"No, he's keeping the leash pretty tight" she joked, "So don't have too much fun without me"
"I'll try not to" said Natasha, "How are the kid's?"
"Haven't gotten much of a chance to speak to them recently, work keeps me busy" she said,
"Agents of SHIELD don't have social lives" joked Natasha, causing Clara to chuckle
"Tessa sent me a video of Leo's first steps" she said, "I'm hoping this will all be resolved by next month, I can't miss my grandson's first birthday"
"Will still not making any progress in the baby department?" Natasha asked
"No, he's a workaholic that one" said Clara
"Wonder where he gets that from" teased Natasha
"I am not a workaholic" she tried to defend herself, but Natasha just raised her eyebrow in disbelief, "Okay, so I work a lot, but I do have a life outside my work. Okay I don't, but...I've got nothing. I should take up a hobby"
"Knitting" suggested Natasha, "I could take you to the nearest nursing home, you could reminisce with other old people"
"You're not funny" Clara told her, shaking her head, but a grin was on her face, "I'm going to go and talk to Steve, or at least attempt to"
"Goodbye, grandma"
Clara shook her head at her friend, chuckling at Natasha's antics as she walked away. Along with Clint, Natasha was her closest friend. She was among the few that doubted Clint's decision to recruit her for SHIELD, and it wasn't because she viewed Natasha as simply an asset, no, she'd wanted to help Natasha. She knew what it was like to be made into a weapon, left with no identity outside of your missions. And in helping Natasha, she'd gained herself a lifelong friend.
She found Steve just after he'd finished suiting up. The new uniform was not dissimilar to the one he'd worn when he was performing, looking far less practical then his old uniform, and far more flashy.
"Bet it feels weird" she said, causing him to look around at her, "Being back in uniform"
"Actually, this is the most normal I've felt in awhile" he told her, "Are you coming with us?"
"No, Fury isn't overly trusting of us together" she explained, causing Steve's eyebrows to raise, "We make him uncertain, it's not something he enjoys. He can't predict how we'll act around each other, and to be honest neither can I"
Steve didn't say anything, he just nodded, but Clara thought it was only because he didn't know what to say. And if she was honest, she wasn't sure what to say either.
"I'm sorry we haven't spoken much" she said, "It was just, hard, seeing you, still is. I thought you were dead for such a long time, you and Bucky. But there was never any body, the not knowing...it killed me"
It killed all of us, she thought to herself. The uncertainty of his death postponed their closure. None of them knew for certain what had happened to him. And some spent years trying to find him.
"I'm sorry for ignoring you" he said, "You don't deserve it. I can't imagine what you've been through"
"Yes you can, you're going through it right now" she said, resisting the urge to reach out her hand to squeeze his arm, "I'm sorry that the first time you get to see the world since you woke up you have to go back to Germany. It really is quite lovely nowadays"
"You've been?" He asked
"Yeah, travelled all over the world actually" she said, "S'pose you see a lot when you have an abundance of time"
Travelling had been Clara's escape for many years. She could be anybody she wanted to be. Carve out a new identity for herself, with none of her baggage. She was free to be the person she wanted to be. Not that she really knew who that was.
"You always wanted to see the world" he said, and Clara's lips pulled into a smile, surprised he'd remembered that
An awkward silence fell on them, as they stared at each other's face, neither knowing what to say, but both wanting to say something. She'd never really looked at Steve's face. Of course she'd seen it before. But she'd never studied it, her eyes roaming over every inch, the shape of his jaw, the curve of his lips. She'd never noticed before the exact shade of blue his eyes were. And she didn't know if she truly had never noticed these things before, or that maybe it had all just faded with time. After all, she buried most of her memories under nonchalance and stoicism.
"Um, uh, I better go" she stammered, clearing her throat as she looked down at her feet, finally noticing how close he was to her, "Um, stay safe, okay"
"I will" he promised her, moving his body away from hers. His movement made Clara feel as if she had done something wrong, but she was also thankful for it. Being around Steve made her too unsure, she couldn't predict how either of them would act. Things were different, incredibly so, then what she remembered things being between them.
"I'll see you when I get back" he told her, and she nodded, keeping her eyes on the ground, not wanting to look up at him, afraid that her eyes would betray her.
Steve opened his mouth, like he wanted to say something. But whatever it was, he held it back, throwing her one last glance before retreating from the room.
