AN: Sorry for the wait. Wazzup, bros. Can I call you bros? You're all my bros. And bronettes.
The assortment of shinobi murmured and talked loudly, laughing nervously and walking around. Although I wouldn't show it, I was kind of nervous. Screw that, I was really fucking terrified. "So…" I said. "Here we are…"
"Yup," Amy agreed.
I coughed. "Lisa… promise me you won't do anything dumb."
She looked at me. "Since when have I been stupid enough to offend a roomful of Shinobi?"
"Yeah, since when has she been as dumb as Naruto?" Amy snickered. I punched her shoulder.
"Thank you, Miss Obvious." I think. I seriously wish I'd watched the show.
"No problem," she grinned. Then she punched me back. Lisa doubled over in laughter.
I stared at Lisa. "Oh no you di-in't!"
"What?"
"Quit laughing."
"No!"
By now, Emily was laughing her traitorous little butt off. "Screw you all," I muttered.
"Ooh, now you've done it," Lisa grinned and threw a crumpled-up piece of paper from the table at me. I zinged a rubber band from my pocket right back. She ducked, and it hit Amy on the ear.
"Oh, come on now…" I grinned nervously as Amy slowly ripped up several pieces of paper from the floor, collecting them in her arms. She grinned evilly and advanced, clutching the armful of paper shreds. "No, really, don't-" Too late. She dumped the entire armful in my hair.
I shrieked and fell on her like a banshee.
"Catfight!" Of course, Emily had to join in.
Then Naruto and the gang came in. Naruto gawked. "What the-"
Sasuke smirked. "Looks like you got competition for the title of Konoha's Biggest Dork."
"Shut up, bastard!"
"Don't talk to Sasuke that way, Naruto!" Sakura had taken matters into her own hands. To say it gently.
"SasuNaru forever!" Lisa screamed. "I totally called it!"
Sasuke snorted. "What an idiot. What does that even mean?"
"Say that to my face, duck-ass, I dare yah!"
"What did you call me?" Sasuke asked, looking dangerous.
"Duck-ass," Lisa said matter-of-a-factly. "And you are most certainly a jerkface."
"Risa," Ino spoke up from behind me, making me jump. "If you weren't my best friend, I would kill you for that."
Sasuke had slipped off in the distraction, probably to get away from the combined double threat of Sakura and Ino.
Lisa made an oh-god-please-save-me face at me. Ino was talking animatedly about flowers. I just smirked and shook my head slightly. I looked around, feeling a sudden urge to say "Pizza buns!" to Kiba.
What the hell?
"Pizza buns?" Why do I want to say "Pizza buns?"
A phrase floated to the top of my brain. "Inside joke…" I frowned. Inside joke? What?
These can't be my thoughts… Right?
I heard a voice behind me. "Yo, Squirrel Cakes!"
Even as I mentally had no idea what he was talking about, I somehow did, on a deeper level. My body reacted, though my brain didn't know what to do.
"Hey, Pizza Buns!" I grinned and turned around, punched Kiba's shoulder all friendly-like. I hugged him, then stood back. "My God, have you been working out, Kiba? You never do… What's gotten into you lately?"
He looked a bit sheepish. "Yeah, well, my sister's been ragging me."
I snorted. "You should learn to stand up to girls, idiot."
"What, I've been demoted from Pizza Buns?" Kiba grinned at me.
I nodded seriously. "You are no longer worthy of the holy title of Supreme Pizza Deliciousness Emperor of All Baked Goods, Including Buns, AKA Pizza Buns for short."
"Maybe I'll strip you of the title of Goddess of all Squirrels and Cakes."
I snorted again and punched his shoulder. "You do that, and I'll kick your face, mister. I like being Squirrel Cakes."
"I thought you were just telling me to try and stand up to girls for once."
I made a face. "Are you calling me a hypocrite?"
He snorted and rolled his eyes. "Aw, c'mon, Kimi… Don't be a jerk."
I sighed. "I was so not being a jerk, jerk."
Memories…
I looked around the classroom, grinning. First day at Ninja Academy, finally. My mom is so strict… I can't believe she didn't let me go here until I was twelve. She even said I couldn't take the Chunin Exams until I'm fourteen! My God, she is ridiculous. I put pink streaks in my hair yesterday, just to provoke a reaction, and the only thing she said was that pink looks good with blond! I mean, really.
I looked over to the person beside me, and saw a boy with raggedy brown hair and red triangles on his face. I smiled tentatively at him and filed him under my "hang out with later" file in my head. I tend to get along better with boys than girls, but I usually don't talk to them in public… somehow there's always someone who assumes the worst and tells everyone… and then the rumors start going around and half the time your friendship is ruined.
I looked over to my left and saw a pretty girl with long, black hair and a white streak in her bangs. She was wearing a lot of fishnets and dark colors, and was slumped over on the three-person desk, peering out at the world rather timidly from beneath those bangs. She looked exactly like the kind of person my mom would hate.
So guess what I did next?
"Hey."
She looked at me with her wide, scared green eyes. "Hi."
"I like your hair," I smiled, hopefully friendly and not creeper…y.
"Thanks… I want to get it cut soon, though. I'm Amaya. Who're you?"
"Kimiko."
I jerked away and my breath caught in my throat, my head pounded, I gritted my teeth. That never happened. It DIDN'T. IT. NEVER. HAPPENED.
Somehow, I wasn't convinced.
"Kimi? You OK, girl?" His voice floated through my consciousness, pounding into my head like a knife, believe, believe, believe…
I stumbled through the crowd, tears trying to get through the corners of my eyes. I felt like I was going to throw up, like my head was going to explode, like I was going to die. How could I have memories that never happened? How could I be best friends with Kiba when I barely knew who he was?
Why does everyone seem to know us already?
"Kate? Kate?" A voice.
Arms circled around me protectively, guided me to a table, brought me to sit on the ground. I looked up, saw short black hair and concerned green eyes. "A-Amy?"
"What happened?"
"No WAY! You can't eat that!" I shrieked at Lisa as she dangled a large, linty wad of gum in front of her mouth. Apparently it had been in her pocket since four in the afternoon.
Come to think of it, it was night-time when we were at home. Why is it mid-morning here?
She popped the disgusting wad into her mouth. "EWWWW!" everyone shrieked. Ino gave Lisa fifty ryo and slapped her a high-five, laughing disgustedly.
I slapped Lisa on the back. "Not bad, missy. Next time I'm daring you to eat a bug."
"Ooh, don't do it!" Emily shrieked.
Amy smirked at us. "Just make sure it isn't a cockroach. They can lay eggs even when they're dead. Read it in the encyclopedia."
And that just goes to show what kind of a girl Amy is.
"Ewwwww!" Lisa yelped. "Sis, I love you, but if you make me eat a cockroach I will kill you with my bare hands!"
Ino snorted. "Lisa, c'mon, you've tried to do that before and it didn't work. Remember the time with the kunai and the shower curtain?"
"Yeah, but that wasn't to Sis, that was to… Oh crap."
Kiba got this oh-my-freaking-god-I-am-going-to-kill-you look on his face. "That was you?"
"Uh-oh…" Lisa backed off, hands raised in defense. "It was mostly Naruto's idea…"
"Hey, hey!" the accused blonde yelled. "Don't you dare drag me into this!"
"Oh, c'mon, you helped us! Admit it! You set up the part with the buckets!"
Amy sidled over to me as the argument degraded into a mass hissy fit. I was starting to 'remember' a bit of this prank they were talking about, and it was seriously award-worthy. "You OK?" Amy muttered to me surreptitiously.
"Yeah… I'm good…"
She threw me a sympathetic look. "Well… just stay that way, K? I don't want to see you dead before we even reach the Forest of Death."
"The what now?" That does not sound pleasant.
She smiled at me unpleasantly. "Oh… you'll see…"
Naruto screeched in pain from the corner. "No! No, not my head! Stop!"
I looked around. "So… where's that hot dude with the prematurely grey hair? Isn't he supposed to come over here?"
Amy's face went cold. "Kimik-I mean, Kate… He betrays the entire village and tries to help this pedophile snake-loving dude control Sasuke so that said dude can take over Sasuke's body. He is not 'hot.'"
I blinked. "OK… but what about the established timeline or whatever, shouldn't he come over soon?"
She sighed. "He had just started talking to them when I left to go look for you. Guess he finished by the time we got back."
I noticed that her mouth had tightened into a straight line and that she smirked slightly as she was talking. "… You stalled on purpose didn't you."
"… No?"
I snorted. "You can't fool me, missy! I've known you since I was eight!"
Amaya opened her mouth, presumably to make a snarky comment, but she was cut off by the sudden appearance of a large, imposing man. And I mean literal appearance. There was a bang and a cloud of smoke, and suddenly he was there.
"Thanks for waiting," the man addressed the room, "I am Morino Ibiki, the examiner for the Chuunin Selection Exam's first test."
Oh. He's that dude.
He raised a hand and pointed towards the back of the room. "Hidden Sound guys, stop doing as you please. Do you really want to fail before the test has even started?"
"What happened?" I hissed to Lisa.
"Kabuto came over and totally got pwned by the Hidden Sound dude! It was so awesome!" Lisa chattered excitedly.
"I apologize… This is our first time… We got a bit carried away."
"We didn't do anything like that on our first try!" Lisa crowed at them.
"Risa, shut up." I muttered through the smile I had pasted on my face.
"No, I won't shut up! Y'all are just a bunch of pussy-boys with no backbone! If you really want to pick somebody off, wait until you're allowed to fight! That way it won't get you kicked out!" Ri-Lisa was in full-on rant mode by now. "Besides, picking on someone weaker than yourself just makes you seem like more of a pussy! Y-"
"That is enough!" Ibiki cut through. "You will all go to your assigned seats and be quiet!"
We quietly found the seats with our names on them. Lisa was sitting two seats down, beside Gaara. I gulped as I noticed I was sitting right beside the most ruthless killer in the series. Amy was sitting ten-ish seats to my left and three-ish seats behind me. Emily… I couldn't find Emily.
"Fascist dictator," Lisa grumbled. Ibiki glared at her before deciding to let that pass and then continued.
"I suppose that this is as good a time as any to say that there will be no fighting during this exam without permission from your proctor. Also, if permission is given, under no circumstances may you kill your opponent."
"Oh, too bad, I was really hoping to kill another thirteen-year-old kid," I heard Amy quip sarcastically.
"Did I not say there will be no talking?" The proctor folded his arms and gave us all a dark look.
"No, actually, you didn't," I smiled pleasantly.
"She's actually right," Sakura spoke up from across the room. "You didn't say anything about talking or asking questions."
I could tell Ibiki was fighting not to bang his head on the desk. Repeatedly. "There will be no questions from now on, is that understood?"
We all nodded.
"Very well. Now, here are the rules. Each team starts off with…"
I began to tune him out. I got the idea anyway, no cheating, cheating bad, blah blah blah. Plus I've watched this part.
Sort of.
Ish?
I realized that the tests were being passed out and that I had successfully tuned out the entire lecture.
I looked down at the problems.
What. The. Fuck.
This shit was more confusing than algebra.
I let my head drop onto my desk and felt like weeping.
"Can I touch it?"
"…"
"Please?"
"…"
"But it's soooo big!"
"…"
"I can make it so much better!"
Gaara continued to make his sand-eyeball, not paying any more attention to my sister.
"You'd better not use it to look up my skirt, that's all."
"Shut up," I hissed at Lisa, who was sitting beside me. Gaara did not look like the sort of person who should be messed with.
Plus these questions were making my head hurt. I had sort of managed to work out a little bit of the first one.
Which is... good?
Right?
God, Kabuto's creepy. He finished the test in like, ten minutes, and is now being… weird.
I continued scribbling on my headache-inducing paper, pretending to not notice him staring at Amy. Stalker.
Ten minutes to go before the last question is revealed.
I thought that I could get that one right, maybe.
My paper was covered with scribbles and equations and weird doodles of alien forms of chocolate.
I looked at the second question.
Geometry combined with algebra?
I sighed and dropped my head on my desk. Aw, crap. "Will the insanity ever end?" I muttered to Lisa. "Are we even supposed to be talking? It seems like those dudes in the corner are making notes."
She ignored me and went back to doodling Rock Lee on her paper.
Bitch.
"And… time. The tenth question will now be revealed. But before you get a chance to answer it, you must choose whether to take the question or not."
I frowned, confused. This has to have been in the anime… I should have watched more carefully.
"If you leave, you automatically fail the test."
This caused an explosion of questions and loud intakes of breath. "Why would you want to fail a test on purpose?" Emily asked from her seat—apparently she was sitting next to Sakura.
"Because if you choose to take this question and just one member of your team gets it wrong, then your team will never be able to take the Chunin Exams again!" Ibiki was obviously a drama queen.
Inside my head, I started playing the "I Am The Doctor" theme from Doctor Who. It seemed appropriately dramatic. If only I could actually play it…
"If you are going to leave, please raise your hand now."
I frowned. With all luck, we could leave right now and find a way to get out of this place alive.
But my hand wouldn't move.
Oh. My. God.
Naruto started to yell out an overly dramatic outburst. "Don't underestimate me! I don't quit and I won't run! I can become Hokage even…"
I tuned out the rest of his sentence and focused on my hand.
"I'm never going to fail those exams, Amaya! I'll do my best and I'll get us through, I promise."
My best friend smiled at me. "We'll all try, Kimiko. And if we ever get the chance to leave the test, are we going to go?"
Emi frowned. "Why do you ask that?"
Risa jumped up. "I got an inside source! Apparently, during the test, there's a few points in which you can just drop out. Your whole team usually fails, I think…"
"Of course not! I'd never do that to you guys!" I laughed and pulled them along. "Now, off to chase another cat! Do they ever give us any other missions?"
I bit my tongue roughly and snapped out of my reverie.
"Since nobody else seems to want to leave, I'll tell you now. You all pass!"
I blinked, reeling in shock. First the "memory," then this… This is too much. Get me out of here.
I stared into blank space as people cheered and celebrated, questions were asked, teams high-fived. Ama-Amy came over to me.
"You OK?"
"… I had another one," I whispered to her.
She grimaced. "I just had one, too… When I tried to give up on the test."
We hugged each other tightly. "We need to see if Emily and Lisa are hav-"
I broke off as there was a loud crash! and something burst through the window.
"What the hell?" I shouted.
AN: Yeah... I would have updated earlier, but my beta hasn't gotten back to me, and I got tired of wait... Sorry, Nelly! Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry D: I promise I won't post a chapter without you looking over it ever again.
Sorry if there are any grammar errors! I proofread it three times, but you know. Shit happens.
If you don't review, dinosaurs will nom you. Nom. Nom. Nom.
Peace out, bros!
