Chapter 2: Distant Wishes

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go."

-- Herman Hesse

The building was worn down and old, just like most of the buildings in this fatal era. Surprisingly though, it was still standing. It made me wonder as to how such a place was still standing. As I gazed at its mightiness, I noticed a man behind a desk. He looked as if he wanted to ask me something, but didn't know how. I wandered over to him and he finally spoke

"Excuse me Miss, but what might you be interested in?"

"I'm here to see a Mister Burke." I responded quite calmly.

"What might your name be?"

I paused for a moment and then answered "Sparrow."

"Sparrow?" He echoed his question

"Yes, Sparrow. Now may I go see Mister Burke?"

"Right this way, Miss Sparrow." He said and headed for the elevator behind him. I quietly followed behind him as he opened the elevator and walked into it. Once we were descending upwards, I began to think. What would I expect when I got there? How would he react to seeing me after seven long years? I fumbled with the bland silver ring on my finger as I began to worry. I nearly decided to go back and forget all of this.

But if I did that, I'd be a coward.

I sighed heavily and decided to stay. Besides, we were already at the top floor and there was no sense in going back now. The man opened the squeaky doors and began to head towards a man who was sitting outside a closed door. From a distance, I could hear them both speaking but couldn't understand due to it only being whispers. Occasionally, they'd look towards me then get even quieter. This went on for a few minutes then the first man disappeared leaving me alone with the other. He stared at me and I quietly stared at him. We held each other's eye and he spoke

"You here to see Mister Burke?"

"That's right, I am." I replied quietly

"He's crazy; I don't know why you'd want to see him." He replied distastefully.

"You take that back." I hissed at him between my teeth "He is not crazy."

"Jesus, sorry. Didn't mean to offend you." He said and headed for the door to unlock it. I shot daggers into the back of his head as he unlocked the door. He had crossed an invisible line that shouldn't have been crossed. It seemed as if minutes had passed slowly turning them into hours. He escorted me to the next door which apparently had led outside to a balcony. Before I opened the door however, I took a deep breath. For seven long years, I had waited and dreamed for this moment. Now, having it real, I had no idea what to do. My heart began to race with all this anticipation. My throat ran dry but my eyes began to tear up. Before anything else happened, I simply knocked on the door and went inside. The man who escorted me disappeared back to his station leaving me in the presence of Mister Burke and another man. They had been talking but stopped when they noticed me appear. They both had turned around to look at me. Even though his eyes were covered, I could sense his eyes lingering on me. My lips were in a hard line as I looked at him. He had caught my eye but a few seconds later, the other man asked

"Good evening m'dear, it's a pleasure to have your presence here."

It was hard to take my eyes off of the man in the white suit, but I did. I smiled kindly towards the other in scarlet and greeted him as well. As I did so, I could feel his eyes on me. It was exciting the way they lingered on me and it nearly took my breath away as they did so. I was glad that I hadn't decided to turn around to go back to nothing. I then turned to greet Burke as well. I smiled kindly and quietly said

"Good evening to you too, sir."

"Good evening my dear, it's a pleasure." He responded with the same smile that I had fallen in love with so long ago. He was so real that it felt almost fake. I wanted to take him into my arms and kiss every part of him like I had so many times before. Then, the other spoke to me, in which I paid attention to

"Now who might you be?"

"Sparrow." I answered with a sweet smile "Sparrow Spektor."

"Well, my dear Sparrow, I'm Allistair Tenpenny. Have you met my good man Mister Burkes?" I wanted to simply say yes, and ask him to let him and I runaway together. He didn't know how bad I wanted to scream it out, to make him see that he meant the world to me, but I simply said

"No, but I would love to."

"Mister Burkes, come meet my dearest Sparrow. She's quite the catch!" He said with a hearty laugh. I blushed slightly at his last comment and turned around to face Burkes. He came a little closer to me and held out his hand for me to shake. He smiled kindly towards me and said

"She is rather beautiful, isn't she?"

I took his hand and shook it lightly. He didn't realize that he just chiselled a small crack in my heart. This wasn't going the way that I had expected it to. Then I realized something, what had I expected when I came here? Did I expect him to greet me with open arms and a kiss? Sadly, I did. The moment his hand slipped from mine, I felt the pain of loneliness again. The coldness chilled my arm to the bone and I clenched my fist. It wasn't the same warmth that I had just experienced from Mister Burke, it just wasn't the same. Mr. Tenpenny offered me a seat to sit in and something to drink. I refused the drink but half-heartedly took the seat. Mister Burke joined him as well and it cut my heart even more. They began to talk and sometimes I would simply shake my head and say "M'hm" or "Yes" if they ever asked me my opinion. Deep down inside, it was harder to be in his presence and have him ignore me than to have him not there at all. Not once did he look at me, nor did he ask me anything. It's like I didn't even exist to him, which hurt a lot. I noticed the sun going down as they spoke of their affairs and jobs together. I had drifted off into simple memories of sweeter times, but my thoughts were broken with Mr. Tenpenny saying

"My dear Sparrow, it seems that it's getting rather late and it would be a dreadful thing to send such a pretty little girl off into a cruel world. Would you like to stay for the night? I have an extra room that I could lend to you."

"You're very generous Mr. Tenpenny, but I-"

"It's no problem at all my dear girl! It would be my honour to!" He said and began to dig in his pockets for the key. I simply smiled as he did so and once he found it, he handed it to me. I took the small iron and stood up. I looked to Tenpenny, gave a small curtsey, and began to make my way to my room. I didn't want to stay any longer than I had to, so I decided to ask the man who stood guard to show me to my room. As I left, I felt the sensation of Mr. Burke's eyes on me and it simply made my heart break even more. I knew he remembered me, but why didn't he say anything? Was I not good enough, or something simply a part of the past? I simply took in a long, deep breath and felt the tears starting to form.

He didn't know how much it hurt to be forgotten.