Hi guys xD Here's the next chapter of the story xD Josh wanted to rename this story to fire emblem abridged, so it has been renamed :'D
Enjoy guys xD Three knights were riding ahead of their battalions. Two on horseback, one flying above them, Selena, Glen and Duessel rode towards Renais, readying their weapons and steeling their courage against the horror that awaited them in the land of their now late allies. "Eirika?!" Ephraim called "Eirika! Help! HEEELP!" Eirika's head popped out of an open door, her expression indicated she was extremely pissed off. "What is it, brother? I'm busy." "Uh, th- th- there's a spider in my room." He gasped. "Just kill it with your lance!" "What if it biiiites?" "JUST DO IT!!" "NO! I'm going hunting!" "Bullshit! You'll be scared!" "Well that may be but I usually just do crack and buy porn with the guy that runs the adult store down the road." It had barely been two hours since Ephraim had gone out that King Fado was confronted by one of his knights. He had just brought news of Grado's three generals crossing the border, geared for battle. It was no issue. They were probably under attack from the seas, asking for help. King Fado was more concerned for the safety of Grado than Renais, he knew that they would not be coming for hostilities. He was also concerned about the similarities of the names Fado and Grado, perhaps he should request a swapping of territories. However, he thought he knew that the emperor of Grado was a peaceful man and not a total psychotic evil maniac. Fado was, unfortunately, wrong. This became obvious when the three generals burst into his throne room after slaughtering his personal guards. Selena, the fluorspar, began. "We are here to take the sacred stone of Renais. You will fall under... you will fall under the rule and love of Grado or die." The king was astonished. He couldn't do a thing. "Stop pressing the button, dood." Glen's voice rang, yet sounded suspiciously like that of... A penguin? "Your powerpuff girl friends Hayden and Mansel can't get here, dood. Now, where do you keep the sardines?." Fado stopped pressing the button on his throne. "POWERPUFF GIRL : GREEN! GO!" "Princess Eirika, we must hurry! Grado has attacked! We must escape!" Seth's words cut through Eirika's fantasies. "Princess? Princess let's go!" Before she knew it, she was dragged onto the back of a white horse, Seth in front of her. The horse set off at a furious pace, galloping with all its might. Seth had to use all of his skill riding horses just to control it and stop it from kicking up and throwing the two off. He was so close, she felt him rubbing up against her stomach, his powerful arms- "Princess, we must escape Renais. It appears Grado has broken the truce and attacked the castle. The guards were slaughtered in an instant." "But, Seth, I-" "I know it's hard to swallow right now, but it's true, I'm sorry. Listen, Eirika, if- WOAH! What are you doing with your hand!?" "Uhh..." Seth handed her a sword, forcing her to use the spare hand she had on his thigh to take it. He warned her that if it was a powerful artefact. Seth had used it in the war. "You see, Eirika," he had said "I use it to manipulate the fabric of time and space, bending it to my will to create shambling monstrosities of the living." Eirika just stared. "And sometimes I use it to find and locate rapists. WOAH! It's going crazy!", referring to the sword that was now glowing blue. "There must be a rapist nearby!" As luck would have it, there was. A gaunt, pale-skinned man on a dragon landed, cutting them off. The man, cackling, picked up his lance. "My name is Valter", he cackled, "And for the next five minutes you guys are officially my bitches!" "..." "Where you from?" "What?!" "What ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in What?!" "What?!" "ENGLISH MOTHER F**KER! DO YOU SPEAK IT?!" With this, Seth attacked. With great speed he charged. "LANCE TO THE FACE, BITCH!" he yelled. Valter's dragon simply walked forward, dodged Seth's attack, and bit his arm. Yelling in pain, tears formed in his eyes. "You... YOU MEANIE PANTS! You won't huggle me you uggy snuggum dickface." With this, he rode off. "... So", Eirika winked "how long does the dragon let you have off?" "About 5 minutes, but that's all I need baby." "Ehhh, when it's the quick all of the pleasure goes away. I rather have that guy you just bullied, he may take 8 minutes each round, but he can do it 7 times straight without taking a single breather. See ya'!" Eirika ran after Seth, leaving Valter feeling thoroughly put out and wondering where his next rape victim had ran off to. Damn Renais knights. Emperor Vigarde's guards dragged a shaman into the room. This man's name was Knoll. He was Grado's lead researcher in magical science, and had helped massively in the parting of the fire emblem. However, he knew too much. "I can break his back!" Vigarde shouted, putting on a bad Russian accent "break his back, make him humble, AND THEN F**K HIS ASS! KILL HIM AND ALL OTHER WORKING ON THE STONE!" Knoll was dragged off, to the sound of an executioner sharpening his axe and soldiers going to arrest the other researchers. It would be a dawn shaded blood-red. Remember to review :D
Snap out of it, she told herself. She may have had sex 300 times since the day Uncle George proved he had boundary issues, but she would save herself for Seth.
Invasion of Renais
