Disclaimer S Meyer owns all. I own LTM and its yummy characters.

*******A/N Remember this is mid New Moon, no rescue in Italy, but Bella has met all characters from all twilight movies, except Volturi and the guard, but did hear the stories about them from Edward and the family*********

Chap 1 A numb Existence

EPOV

My cell phone chimed with a text just as I was about to tackle and battle with the large mountain lion, crouching about 20 feet in front of me. The noise startled the large beast and he escaped into the large clearing, not that it mattered normally, at my speed I could catch him with an even greater head start, but something in my gut told me to check my phone.

I had created a huge emotional tear in the Cullen clan.

In our coven.

In our family.

I wanted nothing more than to fix that, but I did not know how. I had the gift of hearing others thoughts, but recently I wondered if my leaving... her, ultimately cursed me with Jasper's gift, the gift to feel all of ones emotions and being tortured with the raw feelings of pain that the family had, due to my abandoning her, and making them abandon her as well.

Her name hasn't been spoken from my lips in so long, almost a year now. At first even whispering her name to myself felt like shards of razor sharp glass ripping through the heart I once had as a human, lost when Carlisle turned me and ghostly came back when at one time I could call her mine.

I would not allow the family to speak of her either, but her memory, her mere presence still haunted me.

Alice my dear sister, blessed with the gift of visions, and …..her ….best friend was very depressed for a long time, she wanted me to change her, and she foresaw it. But my inability to see past her beautiful soul and the fact that I would be destroying it, took over like nothing else.

I promised her time after time, to try, to believe, and to meet her half way in our love. The truth was I think I loved her more than any one man, human or vampire is capable of, She convinced me that the monster I remembered, the monster I believed to be inside was dormant around her, that she put him to rest and that she was meant too.

She tried to convince me that she was not only born to be a vampire, she was born to be with me, to be by my side for all eternity.

Her speech that fateful night coursed through my body with such fervor because I truly believed everything she said, or at least, I wanted to.

Captivated by her unyielding belief in us, her belief in me, brought me overwhelmingly at her mercy.

A simple touch of assurance from her fingertips, on my ice cold skin, her sweet breath on the edge of my lips and the look in her eyes sent me giving in and giving up all my reservations.

The cracking of the fireplace in my bedroom and the winds dance throughout the trees just outside my window was more song in that moment, then even I could make on the keys of my beloved piano, Her skin felt like fire, hot, enveloping welcomed fire, with its incessant tingling under each of my fingertips. It was like my body new before my mind how this night was going to end up, how it needed to happen.

I watched as her eyes grew dark with lust as I kissed gently from her neck down to her navel. The dip in her stomach captured my curiosity as I encircled her bellybutton with my tongue.

I never allowed myself to explore her like this; I never thought I could handle it.

The aroma of her skin as it flushed and drained of color once my lips would leave a spot I had just devoured. The shake of her muscles, in anticipation, as I would ever so slowly remove every article of clothing that covered her body.

And finally the look of awe and devotion written on her face, as I finally granted her wish and slid inside of her. That facial expression would be burned in my memory for all of my now hopeless existence. The warm aching feeling I felt when I was completely sheathed and inside her, would be the torturous memory I would never feel again, due to my actions.

We made love over and over that night, I did not hurt her, not once and there wasn't a place on her body, I didn't worship.

She had asked me to change her again that night, holding her naked in my arms, legs tangled and still connected intimately, the thought actually crossed my mind.

My fears stopped me knowing the possibility of her hating me for it, after feeling the pain, after having to leave everyone she knew and loved, with all that pain I knew she would eventually leave me, thus destroying all hope I had in granting her last wish of changing her.

So, I left her that night, on her father's doorstep, completely glowing, radiant in her bliss and said thank you, thank you because that was all I wanted, all I was willing to give. I told her I was leaving her, leaving her behind to leave with my family. Leaving her to live a long, wonderful life without me, without pain and longing for loved ones she would never see again because of me. Little did I know my longing for her would end up being so much stronger and would become my own self-torture. I told her I didn't love her, I couldn't love her and she would love another one day, more than I ever could.

I lied.

I knew my lie would destroy any light that shone in her eyes when she looked upon me.

I desecrated the love that we had, I told her it was never there on my part, and that I had gotten what I wanted.

I walked away and died all over again that day, or so I thought or maybe I just died a third time, a third time when Alice saw her death just two weeks later.

I rushed back to Forks, in hopes Alice was very wrong, in hopes that what she saw could've been a mistake.

But it wasn't, I stood off in the shadows at her funeral, deep in the woods, hearing the pained words come from the priest. Those words shot daggers that pierced through the soul I once thought I never had.

But she was right. I did, and it died right there with her, six feet below the earth.

Alice was destroyed for a long time; her best friend was dead and gone and she was lost without her.

Esme and even Rosalie were forever changed, the human daughter Esme grew to love as her own was gone just like her son she envisioned they reunited at heaven's gate where she would never go. Rosalie's regret for never showing Bella what she truly felt and knowing she could never seek the forgiveness she needed for her horrid deeds left her even more broken inside. So much time wasted on jealousy and fear.

Carlisle still has not been able to look at me like he used too and a part of Emmett died with her as well, he was the big brother she always wanted, and I took that from her and the honor of being it, I took from him.

Jasper was not overcome with everyone else's emotions, but with his own.

No one was able to reach him, and no one knew why. He was a ghost in our home, though Alice was the only one who he would let in time to time, but never completely.

I left, to try and escape the pain, though it was with me everywhere, I truly experienced hell on earth and I deserved nothing less.

When I wasn't able to battle my demons, Carlisle asked me to come home.

So here we were, all living an existence that was hallow and lifeless in every way.

Coming back into this reality I created, remembering how my dinner just ran away and why, I looked down to my phone seeing the text from Carlisle to come home now, and that it was an emergency.

I flew through the trees, my speed being the only solace in these moments.

The sights and environment whipped past me, the air slicing through my stone body causing a frenzy with each passing tree and brush, I eventually came upon our home deep in the Alaskan wilderness.

I heard their thoughts as soon as I came close to the house.

Eleazar was there and his thoughts were almost panicked.

Emmmett was overwhelmingly excited to battle and be in the middle of a may lay and everyone else was just curious and worried.

We had avoided the Volturi for many years and wanted it to stay that way.

So when I heard the panic in Eleazar's voice that rogue vampires were assembling in the Montana mountainside, everyone thought the new coven was going to receive a visit from the Volturi once they got word.

Eleazar didn't seem to know how many they were or if they were even a threat but he said he felt a very powerful Vampire, more so then he ever has before, we knew once the Volturi got wind of that they would be here in no time, not to mention it was difficult to learn our way of feeding without help, so the other thoughts were of the blood shed that was bound to happen and the possibility of creating newborns alerting the Volturi regardless.

The decision was to go to these rogue vampires and to try and teach them our way of life and obviously inform them of the risks they take if they choose humans.

Eleazar made it very clear how little he knew about them and we did need to be prepared for a fight, So we wanted to find out as much about them as possible, so we agreed to scope it out and get more information about them, before we all come at them at once..

EPOV (Eleazar)

To say I was worried, was the understatement of a lifetime. Yet, my excitement was palpable as well. I had never experienced the rush of Power from another Vampire in all of my time as one who could sense powers.

It was very surreal and had me stopping dead in my tracks, as I ran through the Montana countryside. I didn't see anybody but I sure could feel them. The other thing that bothered me was the fact that I felt this from one vampire, I was sure of it, but it had to be more then one and combined. It had to be. No vampire is as powerful as what was being thrown at me in feeling.

I expressed that to the Cullen's as best as I could, without trying to cause to much panic. Even though Carlisle and I weren't able to hear each other, without Edward's help, the looks we gave each other was obvious, we both new and heard of the history of our kind, and those that opposed The Volturi, always secretly wished the prophecy's were true.

I didn't want to jump to conclusion's though and I could tell Carlisle didn't either.

So we kept our hopeful suspicions to ourselves.

We all sat around making small talk, after making the decision to find out more about the Vampire or Vampire's in Montana, and I couldn't help but notice Edward and his state of mind.

It pained me to still see Edward so lost and broken. I knew what he did may have been the right thing in the long run, but his stubbornness to not change Bella always baffled me.

Just as those thoughts fleeted through my mind, I caught a glare from hell from Edward and I remembered, I thought her name.

"I apologize Edward" he nodded at me and immediately looked to the ground, the fact that I continued I could tell really bothered him, but I couldn't go without saying what I had to say any longer. "Keeping her memory alive, may also bring the pain, but it should also bring the comfort of just simply remembering her beautiful spirit, ignoring that is dishonoring her... even in death."

Edward ran at me faster then I could comprehend, slamming me into the wall, sending a loud crack and snap resounding throughout the whole house, with a bit of a shudder.

"SON!" Carlisle screamed

I help up my hand at my oldest, dearest friend once I saw the pain in Edward's eyes, "Let it go Edward, let it go, for your own sanity, and for god sakes …... for Bella!"

He released the incredible hold he had on my shoulders and released me. Almost as if he was giving up, until a mere whisper left his lips.

"Please don't speak her name" and with that he ran out of the house and back into the forest, where he always fled with his grief.

I shook my head wondering if I was too hard on him, with the words I spoke, when Jasper spoke next.

"Don't feel guilty Eleazar, you only said what we have wanted too for months now. The guilt he feels for all of us, doesn't help either."

"For you?" I asked a bit confused.

"We have no doubt, even when we didn't know he was near, that Edward heard all our thoughts of anger for leaving Bella." Carlisle admitted "Not one of us first considered how detrimental his own grief was going to be, with the decision he made, and instead each thought about how it felt with our own loss of her, and now he is carrying that as well. We are all to blame for his overwhelming pain as of now."

We all just stood there quietly, until a very loud, and very pained scream from Edward, was heard throughout the Alaskan woods. What shocked each of us is what he screamed...

He screamed Bella's name.

*********** and a sneak peek at chapter 2*************************

Disclaimer S Meyer Owns all things Twilight, I just like to play with her characters, Shayna does too J

Chapter 2

LPOV (Luxe)

For days now, I could feel something strong, pulling me towards the tiny town of Forks, Washington. I have yet to figure out what my purpose is, but I feel like I need to be here. It's as if a part of my soul is missing and I have the strongest urge to find and protect whatever it is that's calling to me.

I wander through the dense dark forest, feeling the slight but increasing burning, beginning to creep up my throat. The need to hunt was all I thought I was capable of centering on at that moment, until I heard it, a piercing scream that shatters the very stillness of all that was quiet and content in the moonlit confines of these dreary woods.

I take off toward the pain filled cry for help, which was the only way I heard it, to other Vampire's it may of just sounded like the normal scream of agony, being one's prey as they feasted, but to me it was just that, a cry for help.

Again, that same feeling, that urge in which I now recognized as a means to defend, was beyond overwhelming, it was in fact taking over my whole being, enraging me like I had never felt before.

Just then, the most tantalizing scent hit my nostrils and took over my instincts like a drug. I had one purpose in that moment, and that was too find it and keep it safe. Though I feel no need to feed anymore, my confusion and protective instincts tell me the female that produced that piercing scream, needed me and needed me NOW!

The questions immediately flooded through my mind.

"Was I sent to protect this innocent human girl?" If so have I failed already? There were no more screams, no more noise of her, but her scent enveloped me and sent me tracking her like I had tracked no other.

Just then, through the mass of leaves and sliced brush I had whipped past, to try and get to her, there she lay…..

A/N So….theres a teaser for the beginning of Chapter 2. If you guys remember the first rough draft of Living The Myth, I think you can all agree, it's written much better. We put a lot of time into this and were both happy with where it is going. Chapters 3 & 4 are almost ready and will be out to you in the next couple of days…..PLEASE REVIEW….Shayna is dying to hear what you all think. Xoxoxoxoxoxxo guys, Heidi