Chandler hated himself. He yelled at her, made her cry, and he kissed her. He didn't even have enough guts to tell her why. Rachel was too important to him. He loved her! If something ever happened to her, he wouldn't forgive himself. Chandler was not that great at expressing his feelings. The only woman he had ever been with was Darien. He was completely new at this stuff.
I'm just going to have to find some way to tell her how I feel, Chandler told himself. Will she even want to talk to me? Will she even listen? I have to try to talk to her. I HAVE to.
Throughout the day, Rachel ignored Tom like the plague. When she would see him, she would literally run in the opposite direction. Rachel made sure he wouldn't be anywhere she wanted to go. The ship was only so big; they couldn't ignore each other forever.
Tex walked up to Rachel. "I knew you should have taken my gun. You want to shoot him, don't you?"
She shook her head. "I'm just really angry at him. I don't want to shoot him."
"You two have been tiptoeing around this ship all day like a cat and mouse. What did he say to you?" Tex knew something was wrong. She had sadness in her eyes and it looked like she had been crying.
Rachel replied, " He told me that I was too important to leave the ship and act reckless, what ever the hell that means. I told him that he has no authority over me, and I was only doing my job."
Tex started laughing.
"Tex, I really don't think this is funny."
Tex knew what that meant. Chandler thought she was too important, but not to everyone else, to him! He was shocked that Rachel hadn't figured that out yet.
"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh. First of all, he doesn't think you're reckless. Just because he said it, it doesn't actually mean he meant it. He was angry. Second, I can't believe you're actually mad at him because he thinks you're too important to leave the ship."
"It's not that I'm mad. I just don't understand why he makes a big deal out of it. Maybe I could understand if he would actually tell me the reason why he doesn't let me off the ship."
Tex shook his head. " He has basically told you why. He may not have actually said it, but he has. Just think about it. He doesn't let you off the ship. Why you? He doesn't act that way towards everyone else. Sweetheart, I don't think he wants you leave the ship just because you're the doctor who made the cure, but it's because YOU are too important to HIM. He wouldn't forgive himself if something happened to you."
Rachel shook her head. "No. The Captain doesn't think of me like that. He is just a very complicated man." Even though she was saying these words, she wanted them to be true.
"That's not what I think and I have two-hundred men and women to agree with me. The Captain views you as something more than just a doctor or a friend, and I believe you feel something more for him too. You two are just too damn stubborn to see when someone cares. I've tried with you", Tex said sadly.
Rachel felt really bad for Tex. She would never feel that way for him. She loved him, but not the way he loved her. He was her best friend; one of the first people to actually believe in her and trust her. Tex always made her day better. He tried so hard to make her love him, and it made Rachel feel terrible. Tex deserved someone that would love him the way he wanted to be loved.
"Tex, you really don't want to be with someone like me. I'm too damn complicated. My life's a mess."
"Honey, the way I see it, everyone's life is complicated. Why does that matter?", Tex asked her. He was smiling, but there was sadness in his eyes. Tex knew he could never have Rachel nor would she love him like he loved her, but she would always have a special place in his heart. Anytime she would need him, he would be there.
Rachel began to feel even worse. Why did everything have to be so complicated?
Before she could say anything, Tex said, "Don't worry about me. You need to go fix things with Chandler. Let him know that I will personally kick his ass if he ever breaks his heart."
"Thank you, Tex", she said before she hugged him.
Captain Chandler was walking around the ship, obviously in a bad mood. He was grouchy whenever he spoke, and his face was turned into a pout. No one spoke to him unless it was necessary.
He was on his way back to his quarters when he saw Rachel talking to Tex. Then she hugged him. That made him feel worse.
Look what you did now, idiot, he told himself. She went to Tex for comfort and she probably realized she has feelings for him after all. Great going, Chandler.
Chandler went to his quarters and slammed his door. He didn't know what to do. He didn't even know how he was going to speak to Rachel. He felt like an idiot. He didn't know if he could fix the damage he caused. He started crying for the second time that day.
Then, there was a knock at the door. Chandler got ahold of himself (as much as he could) and opened the door. There stood XO Slattery.
"Can I come in?", Mike asked him.
Chandler nodded his head and let Mike in and shut the door behind him.
"What happened today? Don't even tell me that nothing happened. You and Dr. Scott have been ignoring each other all day, and you are in a terrible mood. Have you been crying?", Mike asked him.
Oh, hell, Tom thought. Mike was definitely not supposed to know he had been crying, but of course he knew. Tom was like a brother to Mike and he knew him like the back of his hand. He always knew when there was something wrong with Tom.
"No, I have not been crying", Tom lied. "I don't know Mike. I really messed up this time. I told her that she shouldn't go off the ship because I told her she acted reckless. I yelled at her so much so much that she started crying. She started crying and it was all because of me! She called me a son-of-a-bitch and basically told me to never talk to her again, but that's not even the worst part."
"How can it get any worse than that? What did you do, Tom?"
"I kissed her and I didn't even tell her how I feel."
"You kissed her? Good for you."
"Mike, how the hell is that good? She hates me now. She doesn't even want to look at me."
"Well, it's about time you kissed her. It would have been better under different circumstances, but you did it."
Tom rose his eyebrows. "What are you saying?"
"Tom, don't even try to act like you don't know what I'm talking about. You love Dr. Scott and everyone on this damn ship knows it. I don't know how Rachel hasn't seen it yet, as smart as she is. She may have doubts herself. She loves you too, you know."
Tom shook his head. "That's a lie. No she doesn't."
"Yes, she does; maybe not so much right now, but deep down, she does. Before you say it and I know you will, Dr. Scott does not love Tex, at least not in the way she loves you."
Tom couldn't really believe what he was hearing. "How do you know she loves me?"
"When there is a crowd of people in the room, it's like she only sees you. You do the same damn thing. You two are almost always together and you are so protective of her. Everyone knows that you two love each other. In fact, some of us have a little bet going on about who would kiss who first. It looks like I won", Mike said as he began to laugh.
Tom replied, "Oh god. I'm such an idiot. What am I supposed to do?"
"I don't know, but you better do something or you might lose a good woman. Let me tell you, Rachel Scott is a one-of-a-kind woman. Women like her are hard to find. Talk to her. Hell, get on your knees and beg if you have to. Just don't let her walk away."
"Thanks for the help, Mike. I'm going to talk to her now."
"No problem."
Mike started to leave, but before he did, Tom said, "Mike?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't ever tell anyone about how you won that bet."
Mike started laughing. "No promises."
