Claire woke up feeling wonderfully refreshed. She curled further into the warmth and softness of her pillow it was when she felt the sheets around her tighten did she finally crack an eye open. She was surprised to see Reid still sleeping peacefully, his arms wrapped tightly around her. A part of her wanted to stay there, feeling strangely safe, but she knew it was time for her to get up and finally get back to work.
"Spence," she whispered. "I need to get up."
Slowly he turned away from her. With a smile on her lips, she slipped out of the sheets and headed towards the bathroom. She showered quickly, enjoying the fact that the body wash she had to use smelled so much like him. It was strange how comfortable she was around him, around his things. She slipped out of the bathroom in one of his button down shirts, forgetting to bring her things in from the living room. Her wet hair stuck to the side of her face and neck as she tiptoed through the room trying not to wake her partner.
Once in the living room she slipped into her jeans and pulled out a shirt. She unbuttoned the top low enough to slip on a bra. Contemplating putting on another shirt, Claire decided that she was more comfortable surrounded by the scent of Reid than any restricting clothing she'd brought with her. Again she went back to cleaning, this time starting in the kitchen. The afternoon came and went, but she was still surprised that Reid needed her less and less throughout the day.
"I'm going to the store, picking up some food. Is there anything you need?" She asked as she slipped into the bedroom where he was still curled up on the bed.
"Is that my shirt?" He asked as he sat up slightly to get a better look at her.
"Maybe, are you going to be okay alone? I shouldn't be more than an hour." She leaned against the doorframe, trying her hardest to gauge his reaction.
"I'll be fine. Bring back some crackers."
It was strangely domestic, Claire walking up the stairs to his apartment with an overstuffed bag of groceries in her arms. She'd been dating since she was an early teenager, but never had she had such an intimate relationship with someone that didn't involve sex. Balancing the bag on her hip she tried to pull the keys out of her back pocket. A door opened down the hall and a woman smiled warmly at her. It was a strange feeling, becoming a fixture somewhere. She'd never really stayed anywhere long enough, but Reid had. It was his first apartment and throughout their years together, she'd been there more times than she could count.
"Hey, did you forget your key?" Reid asked as he pulled open the door, leaning heavily against it.
"Nope, just couldn't reach them." Again her eyes flicked to the woman walking down the stairs a soft smile on her face. Claire couldn't help the tug at her lips as she slipped passed Reid back into the apartment. "Guess you don't get many ladies over do you?"
"Not really, unless it's you or someone else from the team. Why do ask?" He followed her to the kitchen as she began to unpack the bag.
"It's nothing, want to help?" She asked as she held up a can.
Again the domesticity of the situation hit her quickly. For the briefest of moments, as Claire passed some produce over to him to put in the fridge, she wondered if she could do it. With her job, she never thought a normal relationship could happen, but maybe it was just the guy. They worked silently side by side, him a little slower than her. She could tell that he was still in pain, but he was trying to work through it. Finally, she slipped onto the couch with a bowl of soup in each hand as Spencer took a seat beside her.
"Thanks for this," he said as he slowly sipped at the liquid.
"Just take it easy. You're probably still going to be a little nauseous after putting something in your stomach."
They ate in silence, Claire occasionally glancing over to see if he was still feeling alright. She got up to clear the kitchen, keeping an eye on him as he moved to the bedroom. It was becoming all too apparent that she was probably going home tomorrow. He needed to learn to make it on his own and she needed to return to her own life. It was all too painful to think that returning back to their normal was going to destroy something new.
"Hey Reid," she called out as she moved through the apartment. A smile graced her lips as she caught him slip another shirt over his head. "Sorry, I was just wondering if you were okay. I'm heading to bed."
"You can sleep in here again." He hoped the pleading tone didn't catch her attention.
"No, I think the couch is calling my name. Besides, you're kind of a bed hog."
"What, no I'm not." He went on the defensive as he watched her break out in a smile. "You're the one that steals the covers and has artic feet."
"See, that there, we shouldn't know that about each other. That's a line that shouldn't be crossed between co-workers, even ones that are as close as we are." She moved away from the door, suddenly well too aware that she was still sheathed in his shirt. "If you're feeling up to it, I think I'm going to head home."
"You should probably get some more clothes." He said as he eyed his shirt as well.
"Spence, you know that's not what I meant." She backed out of the room, closing the door between them as she headed for the couch. She shed her jeans, but the shirt stayed on as she curled onto the sofa.
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"I have to go into the office today." Claire said as she poured coffee into a mug to take with her. Her bag was already sitting by the door; it was just the leaving part that was becoming difficult. Reid was sitting on the couch, an untouched book beside him. He was refusing to look at her.
"Call me if you need anything. Anytime, I'm always here."
"Except when you're not, here I mean. You won't always be here." He said quietly from the couch.
"Hey," her voice was soft as she leaned over the back of the couch, wrapping her arms around his chest. "I am always going to be here for you. What happened in Georgia, with Tobias was not mine or your fault. We were separated, and I promise you that will never happen again."
She kissed his head and then cheek before pulling away. "Statistically, there's no way of knowing if we will be separated at any given time. We are partners, but that doesn't mean that we will always be together in the field."
"Statistically, I don't give a shit. You and me against the world, Dr. Reid."
That was the last thing she said before she walked out of the door. He couldn't help the thought that she may never walk back through it because of the decisions he'd made lately. Curling back on the couch, he held the pillow she'd slept on the night before and breathed in the scent she'd left behind. He was thankful for the sleep that took over, finally silencing the screaming pain throughout his body and the racing thoughts in his mind.
It was no more than a handful of hours later when Claire came stumbling through the door with an overstuffed duffle bag and plastic bags of Chinese in her hands. Reid shot up from the cushions to watch her come to a halt in the doorway.
"I hope you're hungry." She smiled as she dropped the duffle bag and moved towards the couch with the take-out food.
The two sat together silently, both trying to focus more on the food in front of them than the fact that Claire was back in his living room. He knew that she'd been thinking about a professional line that both swore would never get crossed, but it seemed that with each passing day that line got blurrier and blurrier. They kept a safe distance between each other, never getting close enough to accidentally brush against the other. Soon enough it was time to call it a night.
Spencer woke to the sound of a muffled cry followed by a low curse. He slipped out of his bed and headed for the sound coming from his kitchen. Claire was leaning against the counter, hopping on one foot as she tried to suppress the pain coming from her toes. She didn't even realize he'd come in until he was placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Jesus, Spence." She breathed as she jumped away from his touch. "Sorry, did I wake you?"
"Yeah, are you okay?" He tried to move closer to her, but she continued to sidestep him. "What are you doing up?"
"I got hungry. I know it's a bad habit, but there's something about cold lo mein at midnight that I absolutely love." She sighed as she hobbled over to the fridge. Pulling out the carton, Claire popped the lid open and took a long noodle between her fingers. Spencer tried not to laugh as he watched her slurp the strand into her mouth.
"Is there enough to share?" He asked as he hopped onto the counter. Claire slipped up next him, placing the carton between them.
"You know that we could get in real trouble for this?" She began as she watched him pull out noodles. "I'll stay as long as you need me here, but it needs to stay our secret."
"Fraternization between agents…" he spoke through a mouth full of lo mein.
"Yeah, even if it's not a relationship we could get into a lot of trouble for living together. But I can't leave until I know you're not going to relapse. I guess if we're keeping that a secret then it should be easy to keep this too."
Claire went back to work like nothing happened, glad that they weren't sent on a case right away. She kept Gideon in the loop whenever he asked, but she never sought him out to offer up any information. Through the years, she'd learned to trust the man, but she knew that he still didn't think she belonged on the team.
"Walsh, can I talk to you in my office?" Gideon called as she was beginning to leave for the day. She let a sigh leave her lips as she trudged up the steps.
"Yes, sir?" She waited by the door hoping it wasn't going to take long.
"Take a seat, and stop with the sir." He said as he waited for her to come into the office. "You're still taking care of Spencer?"
"He's my partner, I want to make sure he's fully recovered before he's back to covering my ass."
"Make sure you don't cross that line, Walsh. He's already in enough trouble, don't push him too far." Claire nodded before getting up. "You have three days."
"If that's all sir, I have a meeting to get to." She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket, but stops at the door. "You're not the only one that cares about him, Gideon."
She walked to the apartment building, stopping briefly as she opened the building door. For the first time she didn't run up the stairs to his apartment. Slipping the key into the lock she stopped for a moment to realize how comfortable they were. The words Gideon had said were ringing in her head. She hated how easily he seemed to be able to read them. If she crossed this line, she knew he'd throw her off the team without a moment's hesitation. A part of her wondered if it would be worth it. The ease that came with being in Reid's life was almost too nice to pass up.
"Hey, I thought I heard you." Spencer said as he pulled the door open. The keys jingle as they hit against the solid door. "What took you so long?"
"I got held up at the office, are you ready to go?" She dropped her bag and moved through the apartment to change quickly. He followed her, not realizing what was happening until she was pulling her shirt over her head to expose her back. She changed into a loose white t-shirt before stripping out of her trousers. It wasn't until she was looking around for her jeans, that she realized he was watching her from the door. "I put them in the second drawer." He finally said.
"I have a drawer?" She whispered as she pulled the jeans out and slipped them on. "Come on, let's go. We're already late."
She pulled into the parking lot and immediately glanced in his direction. With sympathetic eyes she slid out of the car waiting for him to follow her. As he came around the SUV, she reached out for his hand. He took it, holding on tighter than she had ever felt him hold her before. She led them into the building, but it was his decision on where to sit in the room. It was a beautiful church and she couldn't help but close her eyes for a moment and send a silent prayer. She needed him to get better.
They sat and listened as others got up to speak about their addictions. She knew that he wouldn't get up and talk tonight, or ever, but she wanted him to know that there were others out there going through the same thing he was. He reached for her hand again, threading his fingers through hers. She sent him a small smile as she leaned a little closer and her hand came to rest above his knee giving it a squeeze before turning her attention back to the speaker.
"This your first time?" A voice came from behind Spencer as he grabbed a bottle of water. "I haven't seen you around before."
"Yeah, my…uh," he motioned to where Claire was talking to another man not far from them.
"She seems like a good one. If she's with you now, count yourself lucky, most don't stay around for the hard part."
"I'm lucky to have her, I know."
"Are you ready to go?" Claire asked as she came up to the two men. She smiled as she slid beside Spencer and he grasped her hand once more as he led her out of the building.
That night she couldn't turn her brain off as she lay in his bed. One arm resting behind her head as the other was along her stomach. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the dresser sitting opposite the bed. The body beside her was still, but she paid little mind to him. She shifted slightly to see that he was already looking at her. He turned to his side, pressing his body into her side.
"Thanks for coming with me tonight." He whispered in the darkness.
"Like I said, I'm here." Again her eyes returned to the dresser. "You put my things away, a drawer and a shelf in the bathroom, why?"
"I thought it would be better than you living out of your suitcase. Did I do something wrong?"
"No, Spence. Thank you." She turned over as well, giving him her back. It surprised her when she felt him pull her into his chest. She couldn't help but stiffen against him. Again Gideon's words were mocking her. Make sure you don't cross that line, Walsh.
"I can't sleep. I'm going to work on some paperwork for a while." She said as she pushed her way out of his arms.
"Claire," she stopped at the door.
"I'll be back. Get some sleep."
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The next day they were pulled away on a case. It was their first one without him and the entire flight didn't feel the same without his statistical ramblings. Claire tried to stay as focused as she could, but it was difficult given the circumstances. She didn't know where she fit in without Reid next to her.
Hotch paired her with Prentiss, the two still getting to know each other. The women were cautious around each other at first but all of that melted away quickly. Especially after Georgia, Emily seemed particularly interest in how her and Reid worked together. Claire would always be grateful for the time Emily spent by her side as they waited for Reid to be discharged from the hospital.
Thankfully the case didn't take long, and they were home within a few days. Claire hated the fact that she couldn't wait to walk into Spencer's apartment and fall asleep in his big bed. That wasn't her home, but it felt more like it than anywhere else she'd lived in the last five years.
"Hey pretty girl, you going out with us tonight?" Morgan asked just before the jet landed back in Virginia.
"I think I'm just heading home." She said as she gathered her bags.
"Did you want a ride?" J.J. asked as they were exiting the jet. For a moment Claire faltered. The two lived close, on the way to J.J's apartment, but that wasn't the home she was heading to.
"No I think I can make it back on my own."
"It's late, you should let J.J. drive you. Taking the metro isn't safe at night." Gideon said as he walked behind the two. Claire wanted to protest, but she knew what the man was trying to tell her.
That night as she lay in her too big bed, in her too big apartment, Claire couldn't help but think about finding another place. Her lease would be up soon. After lying awake in bed for an hour and surfing the web for apartments for another two, she was packing another back and walking out the door. It wasn't until she was silently slipping into his apartment that she knew Gideon was right, she'd already jumped over that line.
Toeing off her shoes and shedding her clothes, she slipped into one of his Cal-Tech shirts before pulling back the covers. He barely stirred as she moved onto the mattress. It was almost instantaneous, his arms wrapped around her as she was beginning to succumb to sleep. They slept soundly, she curled into his body easily.
The next morning she woke up warm and comfortable. Her eyes cracked open at the morning sun peeking through the curtains. She shifted slightly, feeling a heavy weight on her chest. It was then that she realized Reid was half on top of her, the shirt she put on the night before had ridden up through the night and his hand rested on top of her stomach. She enjoyed the heat radiating off of him and snuggled deeper into the sheets.
"When did you get in?" He asked with a husky, sleepy voice.
"Late, I went home first, but I couldn't sleep." Her hand moved on its own and reached up to push the hair out of his face. "I missed you, thought about calling but I didn't want to be that girl."
"What girl?"
"The one that has to check in all the time just to make sure you're alright, missing me."
"I've never had that girl." He said matter-of-factly. She swallowed thickly as she felt him move further on top of her, letting his waist fall in perfect alignment between her hips. "I did miss you."
Her arms slid up his chest and rested around his shoulders. His legs tangled with hers as she moved in order to let him lay comfortably between hers. It was the most sexual position either had been in, in far too long. Claire avoided his gaze, trying to focus on anything that wasn't the man on top of her.
"Gideon would kill us both if he knew what we were doing right now." She said, causing him to sigh and drop his head to her shoulder. Her hand found his hair, threading her fingers through the messy length.
"I hate that he's what comes into your mind right now." His voice rumbled against her chest.
"Well, that's going to be amazing compared to what I have coming next." She turned so that her lips were brushing against the side of his face. "Have you ever done this before? I mean, all of this."
Reid lifted up on his hands above her, this drew her attention to his face. The intensity in his eyes stopped her breath for a moment. He leaned down slowly and pressee his lips to hers. If the kiss wasn't enough, the fact that the hand on her stomach slipped further up her shirt and came into contact with her breast, caused her to sigh into his mouth.
"No," she said when he broke the kiss. "Reid, stop." She pushed against him, trying to find some distance.
"I'm sorry, I thought…"
"I know, and I want to. God, I really want to, but we can't do this. There's a line we can't cross."
With that he rolled off of her, staring at the ceiling above them. Claire shut her eyes tightly in order to stop the tears that were threatening to spill over her lashes. She reached between them and threaded their fingers together. Glancing over to him, she leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. She felt the tears slip down her cheeks. He gave her hand a squeeze.
"I'm going to take a shower." She said sliding out of the bed. "A cold one."
"In a minute, I'm going to clean up. Get all of your things together." He sighed, as he watched her make her way to the bathroom. "I figure you want to go home today."
"I was thinking the same thing." He heard the shower come on, but her head popped out of the door once more. "By the way, I can't believe you just went to second." She smiled as she threw his shirt back into the room.
The afternoon went on normally. They kept their distance and regained their playful banter. Reid ran around trying to restore his apartment to the way it was before she invaded nearly two weeks ago. Claire stayed in the bedroom, repacking her things as quickly as she could. A part of her knew she'd leave things behind, but it didn't matter at the moment. They had lunch, went grocery shopping again and later that night, Claire went with him to another meeting before they settled in for a night of pizza and movies.
"I called Gideon, he said I could come back next week." Spencer said as he wrapped an arm around Claire.
"Good, no one will fight we with me like you. Morgan cries." She smiled as she relaxed against his body. They both took comfort in the fact that the other was there, knowing full well that it would most likely be the last time they were able to hold each other like this. Claire let sleep claim her, she hated how easily it came when he held her closely. The last thing she wanted to do was leave the safety of this apartment and the small world that they'd built together.
Well that's all folks... I'm a little disappointed that I haven't gotten any reviews on this, but then again it has been years since I've written anything in this fandom and the material is a little old (I'm still trying to catch up on the last season). Anyway I hope everyone enjoyed it. SK
