Author's note:
What's this!? We have visitors!
Originally this was suppose to be one chapter but I decided to make this one describing Naruto's feelings so I can clear the "did he love her" question.
So this is all Naruto's side explaining how he feels which was a little difficult to write but here it is! If it wasn't for some acknowledgment for another chapter and such I probably would have left it as is with a ending I wasn't so happy with myself. Also, slow updates due to lack of muse going on since I have a lot of issues that I need to resolve before getting back to writing. Believe me I love writing because it is like a stress reliever for me and a way of putting my ideas out there, but, I don't want to type anything that is total crap that is supposed to be an ongoing juicy explanation of feelings that is expected a lot out of. I want to make sure you all enjoy it as much as I do.
But thanks to you lovely people it is here!
Fun fact! This story was oddly inspired by a song I love called "Ghost in the mirror"
Soo enjoy and review? Hope you like it my visitors! It is sorta short? Kinda.
~Enjoy!
That night they both laid on the grass in the training field after they were done sparing, gazing at the dark night sky decorated with lovely pattern of stars filling the entire sky. Her gaze never left his smiling face. She found it difficult to gaze at the stars when the only thing she's ever wanted to be with was here. Her softened optics lifted to the dark sky not wanting to ruin the silence between them with words that would've made him react like when they were eating ramen. She inhaled slowly then exhaled through her nose.
"You seem like your thinking about a lot, Sasuko?" He turned his head to gaze upon the lovely pale face and dark eyes enhancing her lovely face. His sapphire orbs observing the way her features were with admiration.
'I am so close to her now… '
"No…"
"Liar. You look like you want to say something." Naruto softly said. He turned on his side then propped himself up with his elbow. "Well?"
Finally..
Sasuko remained quiet while turning to her side to face him.
He could tell she was thinking about something. But what?
He scooted closer to the female to wrap his arms around her. The warmth he provided made her shiver, Sasuko turned her attention to Naruto.
"...Naruto." She uttered despite her lips that were unable to move anymore.
"You know? I always wanted to do this." His raspy tone sounding unusually softer. "I can't ever explain why. I just want you to be around me."
"They say we're too young to love but I believe that there is no age matter." She cooed. Her head leaning into the others to press her forehead against his for a moment. Her lids closed for a moment- "I know what you feel. You can't stop thinking about it but you do. You want to hide that you feel this way but you can't because you know you love that person. You know you love.."
"Yeah." Naruto interrupted her. But the insecurity he felt began to overwhelm the blonde, his optics lighting up when those thoughts hit him, his bright cyan eyes now darkening. "That's how I feel but I am so unsure about it.." He murmured.
"Naruto, I feel sure of it," Sasuko interrupted him. "I know that I love you. In that way."
"I feel it too."
But I could never have you because… you are perfect. You don't deserve me.
The Uchiha girl leaned in trying to claim his lips yet the blonde pushed away. Naruto sat up quickly not wanting to see the hurt ebony eyes gazing at him.
Curse the day that he ever even laid eyes on her!
Why must it be this way? Why must he feel like this? He may never know the answer. After the confession his emotions were all over.
All he knew was that he loved the Uchiha but he also didn't? He could never understand which he was for the most. He didn't understand these emotions so suddenly for someone he considered a friend. He wondered why he felt this way and what this feeling was?
He didn't realize it at first. How much he had adored her. He had spent so much time hanging out with the Uchiha he didn't bother to fully acknowledge how he felt about her. All along he actually did love her back… yet he didn't want to be hers?
It was as if he were blinded by her all of a sudden. It was like he had been asleep when he met the Uchiha girl and it was all a dream he couldn't get out of.
But did she really like him too?
Of course she did.
She admitted it a few months? No. Years ago. He would rather feel that sorta feeling he had when he met her, like he was asleep when he saw her figure catch his eyes all of sudden knowing that they would be best friends, Maybe even more, without feeling that insecurity in his heart that made him rethink his feelings for her.
Am I good enough for her? Probably not.. she is more skilled than me and I could never be the man she would ever want. But I know she likes me too because she told me that summer night. Why am I doubting us? I know we would be great together and I know she likes me still since… but does she still?
After a few hangouts those years back he realized that he couldn't stop her name from coming out of his mouth when he spoken to his other friend's. He talked about her a lot to them. He realized that even when he was doing other things not related to anything of the girl he thought of her all the time. He couldn't stop thinking about Sasuko Uchiha.
The last girl he ever wanted to think about. He thought of her beautiful face; her beautiful enchanting ebony eyes, her pale skin that looked as if it glowed underneath the moon at night, her defined jawline and fine features he adored and everything about her.
Even little things reminded him of the Uchiha girl. The way she dresses or the things she liked.
His thoughts were of her all the time. He loved to think about those times they had together reminiscing about their conversations that he found humorous and her smile that plastered her lips at his jokes or whenever they played around with one another. When she smiled he smiled.
The only thing he adored was to be with her so he can see her face one more time and remember the times that they had together. He liked to remember why he had adored her. He liked to feel the rush of emotions overwhelming him when he was with her and how close he wanted to be with the girl but could never dare give her a hug. It ended with a quick "Bye." He knew both longed for a just a hug or something even more. He remembered the gifts he got her and when he walked her home.
He liked to feel how carefree, strong and comfortable he felt when he was around her. How she provided that warmth to him he could never get from anyone else. How she provided the comfort to the blonde who had felt afraid to be around villagers when they hated him at the time up till now. He loved it all thanks to the girl.
He liked how she made him feel better. Just being around the familiar sweet fragrance and Sasuko in general gave him the reassurance he wanted, even though she was harsh with words, she always gave him the best advice.
But could someone like her really like a someone like him?
It has already been a few years now…
He loves her and she does too?
"Oddly enough yes," Naruto muttered under his breath "Probably not anymore. It has been a few years now!" he sighed softly watching his breath float into the cold winter air. His cyan optics lifted to the dark sky that was scattering with snowflakes that drifted along the wind. His hand lifted to the back of his head to run his hand along his short strands of blonde hair while he stuck his head back inside.
He was in his apartment tonight instead of going out for ramen as usual, he could have been with Sasuko tonight.
He lifted both hands up to the window pulling down so that it closed. "Why did I mess everything up with her? I love her… but.." he had a long reflective pause. He knew why. He was insecure himself. He felt like he didn't have what it takes nor did he still understand these feelings for someone he always considered a friend.
"Maybe its for the better.. a loser like me with no friends with someone like you?" The boy began to chuckle at himself feeling that mocking josh to himself becoming more hurtful during his silence he had to reflect upon his own thinking. His inconsolable cyan eyes lay lost in all the lights beaming throughout the village.
If I didn't push away my feelings after that night and let you into my heart maybe we could have been something. If I didn't pull back when you tried to kiss me maybe…
He felt stupid. But it wasn't his fault he had his own insecurities inside. Yet he thought of all the possibilities that could of happen that night with the Uchiha. They would have closed that yearning inside their hearts by sealing it with a kiss, maybe even make their relationship official and go out more on dates to add more intimacy between the two lovers.
The mistake he made was suppressing those emotions with insecurities and adding more yearning to his heart for her. Just to be with her.
He was lucky enough she wanted to still be around him. As friends. But Sasuko settled back into the way she was when he had met the girl. Except she was avoiding him. She was harsh to him..
"Hey wait up!" The blonde called from afar as the girl was becoming more distant from him. He picked up his running pace after her watching himself becoming more closer to the Uchiha girl, luckily he dodged most of the villagers in the streets.
"What." She snapped at him once he was at her side, grinning at her while catching his breath.
"Wanna…" He paused to inhale slowly then exhale "hang.. out?"
She glared at him. Sasuko crossed her arms on her chest failing to avoid those cyan optics gazing into her dark ones. "No. You know maybe in another world where I left the village.." she heard him sigh then reply
"I know… that old insult you always said ain't working, but dang, give me a break! I just want to…"
"Just leave me alone." Sasuko muttered. "I am busy trying to prove I am just as skilled as Itachi."
Suddenly something burning inside filled with rage burst within him "Ever since that night you've been avoiding me and so have I! I don't know why, but I have been wanting to see you ever since and I don't know why! I am just holding back so much I want to tell you.. I want to confess just like you did but.." his heart dropped realizing that confession had been said and done, his orbs widened then he gasped.
"Sasuko… I.."
Sasuko's own optics were wide. She stared at him for the longest time not knowing how to react or feel. She was just as confused as why he pushed away from her then said this after those months. She shoved her pale petite hands into her warm navy blue jacket pockets, buried her face into the white scarf around her neck, pushing past him quickly. Her long ponytail swaying along when she walked away from him. Farther and farther.
The blonde stood in place motionless.
He couldn't blame her. She was confused and so was he.
"What did you do this time, idiot?"
He turned his head toward the pink haired girl, Sakura. He scoffed "Nothing! Geez, why do you always assume I did something to Sasuko.. I mean, the teme! Also were you two hanging out?"
"You did attack her that day when we were all put in teams, Naruto. So.. I assume you pester her anyway. Yes. We were." Sakura replied and stepped out of the safety of the little restaurant.
"Pft.. I don't pester her! Umm.. what were you guys talking about?"
The pinkette cleared her throat and brushed past him, adjusting her pink scarf around her neck and her red jacket. "Nothing!"
He knew that the Uchiha would probably settle for someone else after all her feelings resolved within time. Maybe sooner or later. Naruto on the other hand felt as if he couldn't let her go, the bond he made with her stuck to him and he had fallen for the girl hard. He was head over heels for her.
"I messed up. I'm confusing her. Will she ever give me a chance?" He muttered to himself while walking along the streets filled with snow aimlessly falling and gathering together to make the whole street covered.
His hands balled into fists at the thought of losing her, he loved her. He knew he did. But his emotions and insecurities is what is holding him back.
How will I ever brush this aside?
He did eventually.
He even tried confronting the girl a lot of times. Wanting to resolve all of the issues they had.
"Hey Sasuko!" he ran into the training field seeing her figure in the distance. He skid to a stop a few inches away from her.
The girl turned to him with a brow raised in annoyance. She gently brushed off her jacket from the snow falling onto the fabric, gazing at the boy "What?" she asked coldly.
"Wanna catch up? Get some ramen?"
"Not after last time."
"But… I…"
Sasuko lifted her hand then threw the kunai past his shoulder, managing to cut off some of the blonde boys strands of hair and missing on purpose, she crossed her arms on her chest. "Beat. It."
"R-Right!"
He decided to be the confident blonde he was when he met her. He brushed those thoughts and negative feelings aside only focusing on what he truly wanted and that was to be with the girl. He told himself 'Yes, I am worth it' to be able to make himself convinced that she would like someone like him. But no matter what he told himself and what he did to just talk with her again about it, become more closer, Sasuko wasn't budging.
Yet he tried. A lot of times.
She didn't allow him to swoon her over like he had those months ago. The Uchiha girl was pushing farther and farther away from him than she last was.
Till one winter day…
The blonde boy walked after the ebony haired girl "Oi!" he ran after her once she was heading inside the familiar place that he despised. When he caught up she had been sitting on the ground watching the snow fall from the sky.
"Sasuko… about that day…" Naruto started slowly, the team had just got done with a mission and both of them were alone finally, he took a seat next to the Uchiha hesitantly not wanting her to lash out at him. Both were in the training field.
"We aren't going to talk about that day." She spoken dangerously low, scorn in her voice. "Leave it be."
"No, Sasuko, I know that day I may have triggered a lot of emotions from you but.." He paused a moment watching the girl turn her head to him, she was scowling at the boy with red flashing in those ebony eyes. Naruto immediately stood up.
"So you think after a few months I am going to be fine and start being lovey dovey with you!? You practically hurt me." She shouted at him "You pretended like none of the things we said that night never happened! You are the one who was pushing me away. All these years passing we haven't had contact and now you decide that you want to swoon me again!? So you can fool me in the end like that night!?" she stood from where she was sitting getting dangerously close to the boy, her pale hands staying in her pockets while her face stay buried in her scarf. "You waited this long.. we are already fifteen and sixteen!"
"No that wasn't exactly my plans.. You are overreacting! Okay, I am sorry about what I said then acting like it never happened. I am just.. I was really confused is all," He started slowly. He was gazing into those ebony eyes that weren't breaking away from his gaze. "I never felt this way before since I grew up alone. I never expressed it either, well, you can call me an idiot that is for sure. But, I always seen you as just a friend that I could call my rival and it confused me because these emotions just started to overwhelm and I like someone like you. You deserve someone better than me cause you are... perfect… you are perfect in every boys eyes. That's why I feel so unsure because… I am different than you."
His cyan optics gazing into her wide ebony. Sasuko's pale cheeks tinted pink and her eyes softened as he continued "When I am with you all these emotions come rushing to me and I feel so happy. I love being around you and feeling that warmth you make me feel. I love everything about you and it drives me crazy. I think about you all the time and I don't realize it till I stop what I am doing to admire those moments that I had with you. I think about all those times we had just to remind myself that I have something special and it's you."
The Uchiha buried her face into her scarf feeling her cheeks heating up and her heart began to race, her hands feeling clammy, she pulled her petite hands out of her pockets then lifted them to gently cup his cheeks. Her head lifted to gaze into his eyes, feeling her heart pounding against her chest, she inhaled then exhaled through her nose. "Finally…" she breathed "Finally. This is it. I feel the same. Even though you are an idiot I feel the same as you do. I think about you all the time and I wait for you to come see me because I want to see your bright face that always lights up my day, I always think back to the times we had and smile when I remember those fun times. You are always in my thoughts.. your smile… your face… your cute jokes.. everything."
"That is everything I feel…" Naruto looked shocked. He stayed motionless feeling her warmth become closer to his body, he felt her arms wrap around his neck, pulling him into an embrace. He wrapped his arms around her waist gently to pull her petite frame into his much larger frame.
"Naruto.."
"...Yes?"
"I love you.."
A moment of silence between the two. The snow fell aimlessly and silently onto the ground, the wind gusting through the branches of the trees. Her warmth providing him the comfort he needed from the cold.
"..I love you too."
Thank you for reading! This story means a lot me since I basically based it on my experience except I tweaked it a little with these two.
~Abigail
