Looking back on when we first met, I cannot escape and I cannot forget.

Whole Again - Atomic Kitten


Tom still didn't feel he fitted in to life back at Downton and he hurried down the steps towards the kitchen after a heated argument with his father. Tears stung Tom's eyes lightly, he'd never been good at dealing with rejection. As soon as he had reached the bottom of the stairs, he took the first left. He didn't want to walk through the kitchen and the pantry had a second door. That was where he used to hide as a child and it seemed as good a place as anywhere to get away from everything. Entering the room he found the corner he could be found hiding in as a child.


Tears were pouring down Tom's face as he shuffled further under the shelf. He brought his knees up to his chest and cuddled his teddy softly. It had been his first time eating with the family whilst guests were there and he'd made a mess of everything. He could still see the disappointed look on his parent's faces. He'd spilt his drink, he'd dropped his food and he'd accidentally knocked the tray out of Carson's hands. The tears flooded thick down his cheeks as footsteps approached him.
"Penny for your thoughts" smiled Mrs Hughes gently as she crouched down to peer a 10 year old Tom in the face.
"Ma… Ma and Pa are really, really angry with me… And, Mr Carson, he, he must hate me…" sobbed Tom.
Mrs Hughes smiled kindly, "Don't be silly my lad. Nobody's angry with you. Everyone has accidents and that's all that happened today." she looked him in the eye, "Now dry those eyes and how about we go and apologise to Mr Carson, then we'll see if Mrs Patmore has some of that delicious pudding for you"…


Tom was pulled from his memory by the sound of the door creaking open. A pretty young maid entered, searching the shelves high and low. It was only when she turned around that she noticed his presence.
"Oh my goodness" she gasped as she noticed Tom. She looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights and she curtsied awkwardly before him.
"I'm sorry m'lord I didn't realise you were in here" she stuttered.
He smiled kindly at her, "There's no need to apologise, I just came down here for a bit of peace and quiet!"
She smiled back at him. There was something that made him different from the others. The way he spoke to her. The way he smiled. The way he looked into her eyes as he spoke.
"You're new here aren't you?" enquired Tom.
She nodded nervously, "It's my first week."
He smiled at her, "Well I hope you are finding everyone is friendly. I'm Tom, Lord Grantham's son." He wasn't sure if she would know about him, but it seemed she was already aware, suggesting that he had been the topic of conversation below stairs.
"I know sir, It's a pleasure to meet you."
"May I ask for your name?"
"Of course Sir" her mother would have been disappointed in her manners, "It's Sybil, sir."
"Sybil" he smiled at the word, "That's a very pretty name."
She blushed at his words as he walked past her towards the door.
"Welcome to the family Sybil" he grinned, before closing the door.
She exhaled as he left, all of her nerves leaving her body. Her heart was beating rapidly and she clutched the shelf for support. She understood what the others had meant when they said he was quite the looker. She sighed. These were bad thoughts for the first week on her new job, no, these were bad thoughts to be having altogether. A yell from Mrs Patmore pulled her away from her thoughts and she found the item she was looking for on the shelf just above where Tom had been sitting. Smiling to herself, she grabbed the bag and hurried back to the kitchen…