It was freezing. Super, agonizingly, fucking freezing. Frost bit down on his nose, red dusting on the gray skin on the structure of cartilage. When he breathed, the expelled air from his lungs manifested in front of him, a wispy mist that floated in lazy curls before disappearing. No matter how many coats he layered on his body he always managed to freeze, strange bumps raising against his gray skin. He shivered, teeth chattering dangerously near his tongue. The wind once again blew in his face, and he pulled his scarlet scarf further upon his face with a low guttural snarl. He was more than positive his horns were about to fall off.

Human weather is stupid. Everything about humans is stupid. Their world is the most ridiculous sustainer of life he had ever seen. Why the fuck would anyone enjoy mounds of fluffy white shit stacked up to their knees?

Obviously the three overly cheerful bastards that drug him out from the warmth of his blankets.

He was going to rip John's throat out. Rose's too. Even if she did make him a scarf, she was still going to pay for leading him out in a clad white world.

"If I stay out here any longer my horns are going to fall off," he seethed, sticking his hands under his arms with a shiver. "And it's going to be all your fault. I hope you're fucking proud of yourself you piece of shit."

"You just need to relax," came the reply. She was so calm. Damn Rose. Damn her to hell.

"Gee, it's really fucking hard to when you're freezing your ass off, don't you think?"

"At least your friend there is having a good time, yes?"

Well that was just Nepeta. He had been watching her coat herself in the thick substance of ivory, occasionally rolling onto her stomach to stretch, wriggle her rump, and leap gracefully into the air, only to land in a heap, head God knows how deep in the snow. In a way, he found it comical.

She was fucking ridiculous. And she was going to freeze. There'd be no way he'd slave away while she caught some sort of human disease.

"Stop that," he barked. "You're gonna freeze, and I'll have to carry your ass home."

"But it's fuuuuuuuuuuun," she mewled dramatically before crawling forward on her front, shoving her nose into more icy fluff. "You gotta try this Karkat, it's so weird!"

"I'd rather keep my nose, thanks," he huffed. What the hell was wrong with her? She choked out a noisy sneeze before literally shaking herself out like Jade's infernal barkbeast and bounding over, arms outstretched.

"No, NO, NEPETA STOP, WAIT—" She impacted against him powerfully, nearly toppling them both over into the snow. He had to arrange his arms to catch the feline obsessed troll, as to avoid dropping her flat on her front.

Scarlet bloomed over his cheeks as she laughed gleefully up at him, fastening her arms around his neck. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"Thanks for bringing me out here," she chirped gleefully.

Oh god. Not the face. Anything but that face, ebony hair dusted with specks of white, a light green tinting her grey skinned ears.

Every.

Fucking.

Time.

"… Yeah, whatever. Better enjoy it, because we're not doing it again." A chilly nose brushed his cheek as her lips ghosted over his concealed pair, and he almost relaxed entirely as he returned the embrace.

"I'm freezing," She yowled into his fabric layered chest.

"Who's fault is that?!"

Okay. Maybe this thing called winter wasn't so bad. But he could definitely go without frigid temperatures.

And snowballs pelting the back of his head.