Judith was squirming in Carol's arms, mewling quietly. Carol moved her arms, trying to rock the baby back to sleep. If Judith decided to throw a little tantrum Carol would have to hand her off. She was so preoccupied with her own thoughts and fraught with worry for the group that had gone to get Glenn and Maggie back. She'd been certain they would be back before nightfall. They hadn't returned.
Carol's heart skipped a beat. She didn't know why she was more nervous than she usually was when some of them went off on a run.
But it wasn't like a normal run this time. They had to silently break into a sealed off town, break Glenn and Maggie out and get out of there without being spotted. If they could even find those two. If they were even still alive.
"Stop it," she whispered angrily to herself, trying to push the thought aside. Everything would be fine. There was absolutely no use in thinking of the worst case scenario.
They're fine, she thought. Everybody's alive and they're all coming back. They're already on their way.
Judith had become silent again, her small breaths becoming more regular. Carol looked down at her and had to smile. It had been ages since she'd held a newborn and she couldn't stop herself from always reaching out to touch Judith's cheek. It was a miracle that she was here. She was and Lori wasn't.
Carol's heart grew heavy when she thought of her friend. It had been an incredibly courageous decision of Lori to sacrifice herself so that Judith could have a chance at survival. And having her son witness that.
Carol's eyes snapped up and landed on Carl who was sitting next to Beth on the concrete floor outside her cell, playing cards. It worried her how calm and collected he seemed after having witnessed his mother's death only a couple of days before. Any other child would have broken down, cried for weeks. But maybe it wasn't just that Carl was different. Maybe that was all in the past and children who grew up with the horror that he'd had to endure just dealt with it differently. Maybe there just wasn't any time and energy to waste on that kind of mourning.
And it hadn't been for nothing. Now Carl had a beautiful, perfect little sister whose name he had picked himself. If Carol was sure about anything concerning the boy it was the fact that he was absolutely besotted with his sister, just like everyone else.
Beth had told Carol that it had been Daryl who had given the baby her first bottle. Carol felt a small smile forming on her lips. Daryl continued to surprise her. She knew he had changed during the time with their group, but she had never pegged him as someone with a spot soft for babies. Then again he'd fought like hell to find her baby.
Carol took a deep breath. Whenever she thought of Sofia she felt a pain stabbing at her heart. But as time passed, the pain grew duller and duller and she had started to remember her daughter with fondness instead of dread. She only hoped it would be the same for Rick and Carl.
Suddenly there were sounds of a commotion and Carl and Beth's heads whipped around at the entrance to their cell block.
"What's happening?" Carol asked and shot up.
"I think they're back," Beth said as Carl sprang to his feet.
"Take her," Carol said and carefully placed the sleeping baby in Beth outstretched arms.
Carol walked swiftly to the gate of their block and wrenched it open.
"I'll go check," she said.
"I'm coming with you," Carl said. "You have your knife?"
"Yeah," Carol said. "You have your gun?"
Carl nodded and if Carol hadn't been so nervous she would have laughed at hearing herself ask a 14 year old whether he had his gun with him.
They walked quickly through the concrete hallways and Carol stumbled down the steps into the courtyard, the bright sunlight momentarily blinding her.
"It's them," Carl said, the relief evident in his voice, as he opened the gate and walked out. Carol could make out four figures walking towards them.
Four. Only four. It should be six.
Her heart lurched as she followed Carl into the open, squinting to make out who was coming towards her.
Elation rushed through her as she recognized Glenn limping across the yard, supported by Maggie. Carol rushed towards them, trying to keep a straight face as she took in Glenn's mangled face.
"Thank God you're back!" she said, putting a hand on Maggie's shoulder. The girl looked absolutely exhausted as she smiled back at her.
Carol's gaze went past Maggie's head and landed on the other two people coming towards her. Rick. And the new woman.
Carol's smile froze on her face and every muscle in her body seemed to clench up as Rick came to stand in front of them.
"Carl," he said, looking at his son. "Get Glenn and Maggie inside and make sure Hershel checks them out right away."
Carl nodded and helped Maggie support Glenn as they made their way up the stairs into the building. Rick's eyes followed them until they were out of sight and then he looked back at Carol. She couldn't quite put her finger on what she saw in his eyes, a mixture of relief and shame.
"Carol…" he began.
"What happened?" she said, her voice hard, the fingers of her hand gripping the hilt of her knife so tightly her knuckles turned white.
"It's a huge town," Rick said. "Lot's of people. It was total chaos, we got separated and we had to get Glenn and Maggie out of there."
"What are you saying?" Carol asked, as Michonne came to stand next to Rick.
"He's dead," Michonne said tonelessly.
Carol felt as though she had been hit with a ton of bricks, knocking all the air out of her lungs. Her knees buckled and she grabbed onto Rick's arm to keep herself upright, digging her fingers into his skin. She leaned over, feeling like she was going to be sick any second, gasping for breath.
"What no!" Rick said loudly, taking ahold of Carol's arm and pulled her up. "Daryl's not dead." He said, glaring at Michonne.
"What?" Carol asked.
"Oscar's dead," Rick said, his eyes snapping back to her. "Daryl got taken. He's not dead."
"How do you know that?" Carol asked, wiping her eyes with shaking fingers.
"Because Merle's with the Governor. No way he would let anything happen to him." Rick said as Carol stared at him in disbelief.
"Merle? His brother?" Carol asked incredulously. Rick nodded. "Merle's in that town?"
"Yeah. Had to practically restrain Daryl from running up to him in the middle of a gun fight," Rick said.
Carol tried to process the situation as best as she could. Then she stood up straight and shook her head, collecting herself.
"Alright," she said, her voice business-like. "When do we go get him?"
Rick's eyes wouldn't meet her and he took a deep breath.
"It's not that easy," he finally said. "They'll be on high alert now that we were there. Maggie told them we're at the prison, we gotta get out before they come looking for us."
"So we're going to leave him there?" Carol asked disbelievingly.
"No," Rick said loudly, glaring at her. "But this isn't the time to make any rash decisions, Carol. We can't just storm in there and get him out. Even if we didn't have to get out of the prison, who's gonna go? Oscar's dead, Glenn's in no shape to do anything and Maggie's so exhausted she's practically falling asleep while walking!"
"I don't care," Carol said stubbornly. "We're gonna go get him."
"And we will," Rick said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "But not right now."
"If he's still alive," Michonne said, looking at Carol. "He won't be for long. That Governor's a real creep. Likes to see people suffer."
Carol could feel the hair on the back on her neck stand up.
"Then we're going right now," she said, her eyes boring into Rick's.
He looked back at her with anger and desperation in his eyes.
"We can't do it," he said. "Maybe we'll get in, but we sure won't get out alive."
Carol didn't answer and Rick let out an angry bark of laughter.
"You wanna do that?" he asked aggressively. "You wanna risk everyone in this group to get him? Beth? Carl?" Carol didn't answer. Rick pinched the bridge of his nose and continued calmly.
"Look, I know you care about him-"
"Don't you patronize me!" Carol snapped, glaring at Rick. "Don't you dare!"
"I'm not," Rick said, alarmed by her sudden outburst. "I get it and I'm sorry, but-"
"I don't want any fucking pity!" Carol yelled. "I understand everything you're saying, I get why you're saying it. It doesn't change anything. I want to go get him."
"On your own?" Rick asked, raising an eyebrow. Carol knew the condescension in his voice was meant to make her see reason, but she ignored it.
"If I have to," she said. Rick groaned and turned away in frustration.
"We're wasting time here," Carol said. "I'm gonna go."
"Just wait a second," Rick said. "We gotta come up with some kinda plan."
"You're right, if they know where we are, we have to get out," Carol said. "Get Beth and Carl to load everything into the cars, while Hershel takes care of Glenn and Maggie. They have to be ready to go as soon as possible. The three of us go back and get Daryl."
"What makes you think I'd come with you?" Rick asked quietly. "It's dangerous. I'm not planning to go head first into a situation I know I probably won't get out of alive."
"Fine," Carol said, icily. "Then you stay. If you can live with being a coward."
Rick whipped round and came at her, his eyes gleaming with anger, but Carol wouldn't move an inch as he glared at her, their noses only inches apart.
"You got some nerve," Rick hissed, his breath hot on her face. "I ain't no coward. I just went in there to get Glenn and Maggie, didn't I?"
"So they're worth risking your life for, but Daryl isn't?" Carol asked coolly.
Rick took a step back, still glaring at her.
"You owe him," Carol said. "How often has he saved your skin? And when you went crazy he was the one who stepped up to take care of Judith." She could see the anguish on Rick's face. "You owe him," she repeated.
The silence between them seemed to last an eternity.
"Alright," Rick finally said, looking at her. "We'll go."
Carol's heart skipped a beat, but she just nodded curtly.
"You coming?" she asked, turning to look at Michonne.
"Yes," the woman said. "I left something back in Woodbury. I wanna get it back."
"Okay," Rick said, letting out a sigh, his calculating eyes on Carol.
"You ready for this?" he asked her.
"Yes," Carol said, her voice strong.
"It could get real ugly," Rick said. "You might have to kill a human."
Carol swallowed.
"Can you do that? Kill a person?" Rick wanted to know.
It was curious. Carol had always abhorred violence of any kind. She didn't even get any kind of satisfaction out of killing walkers. As a victim of physical abuse it made her sick to her stomach to think about people doing such horrible things to each other.
But this time it was different. She wasn't going to kill someone for the thrill of it. This was about getting someone back. Not someone, not anyone, but Daryl. Daryl, who had looked so tirelessly for Sofia, almost more than she had. Daryl, who had hurled so many insults at her head and she had let him, just to make sure he wouldn't shut himself off again. Daryl, who was always taking care of the group, never claiming credit or wanting something in return. Daryl, who had turned into her family over the last couple of months. Daryl, who loved Judith even though he probably wouldn't admit it.
There was no way she was going to let him go, now that he was the one who needed to be rescued. It didn't matter what she had to do, she would get him back.
"Carol," Rick said and she snapped out of her thoughts. "Are you ready to kill someone if you have to?"
"Absolutely."
