I do not own final fantasy VII or fire emblem except for my OC
"Cross-Slash" speech
'Blade beam' Inner thought or narration
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Reviews
Dragon of the Blazeing Stars: Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes…! And thanks, is good to be back with this story. Yeah this is different from the original considering I made Edgar a trap out of all the things I could've gone for, but lots of the stereotypes that I was gonna use were taken by the bigger and more recognizable Fire Emblem fanfics so in my desperate quest of finding some originality the power of Traps basically got me out of that conundrum. Yeah I will change a lot of the things from the original fanfic and events of the game and maybe I'll add some of the deleted filler chapters I had planned out when I was still working on the original fanfic, for example one chapter would've been about Edgar accidentally getting high (Huh so Metallover actually did a chapter like this, well shit!) on very powerful mushrooms so to speak and does a bunch of dumb and horrible things like accidentally burning down a whole forest, jumping out of two story houses just to try a leap of faith and even more stupider shit of that nature and throughout all that he never gets caught, so basically It never happened for him and the others. So yeah suffice to say I have quite a few things to work with
Guest: You are correct, his power to destroy anything plus his knowledge in building complex weapons and other miscellaneous objects basically gives him a crap ton of experience with his stand but not all of it, as for your critiques. I just felt that giving him a background would be a nice little touch. Yes, I know he does look like a cloud look-a-like, to be honest it was pure coincidence that Edgar looks like cloud but it doesn't really matter since I plan on changing his outfit, heck I may make him wear woman's clothing just to poke fun of the fact that everyone confuses him for a girl, kind of like Libra who also wears something akin to a dress in the game, the fusion sword is just there as his main weapon of choice he'll probably ditch it for a silver weapon or something similar later on, and the soldier power up is just there to help him actually take some punches if「Truth hits everybody」fails to protect him from any kind of attack. In layman terms, better defense and offense with or without his stand, maybe crossdressing and he's really only OP because of his stand so he'll need to train to become a badass sword wielder…!
2nd Guest: Amen on that bother
End of Reviews
"So, this is Ylisstol… Neat" I simply said, I mean sure it looks pretty damn cool but when you live in a place where we can clean our asses with just a push of a button it makes this place look pretty mediocre in comparison
"What do you mean by just "neat" look at the architecture, the liveliness of the streets, the people that live inside it, everything just makes this look so serine!" exclaimed Robin as she inspected every nook and cranny the city of Ylisstol had to offer
"Trust me I've seen a lot of places in my travels and this world is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to beauty and liveliness" I said wisely, recounting all the countless RPG's I've played during my years as a shut in
"Look! The exalt has come to see us!" Someone in the endless crowd of people exclaimed making every villager stop what they were doing and rush to see Emmeryn who was parading around the town with a giant group of cavaliers and soon to be deceased Pegasus knights, well more like was there's no way in hell I'm letting that happen…! Oh hey my number three waifu Cordelia is at the front! *Ahem* Robin's always number one *Cough* Tiki's second *Cough* *Wheeze*
"The exalt is your ruler, yes?" asked Robin, I didn't pay much mind to the conversation since I was too busy using「Truth hits everybody」to destroy stuff like crates hidden in alleyways, trash that people left on the street and etc.
Why am I doing this? Well isn't it obvious! If I can destroy anything I desire and reform it into basically anything I can think of, I would never have to worry about gold ever again! I'd be the richest man in the entire fire emblem universe without having to work for it! Now that's what I call Stand Power!
"…She's also the best sister there is!" I heard Lissa from the alleyways, how the villagers didn't notice me entering the alleyways and leaving with a full sack of gold in my hands was beyond me but hey I'm not complaining about it, it'll just make it easier for me to get free gold without any suspicion thrown my way
"Yes, I imagine she… Wait, what? She's your… But wouldn't that make you and Chrom…"
"The prince and princess of Ylisse, Gods woman I literally blurted that out when we first met" Robin flushed a deep color of red at this which made me chuckle a little, it's not every day you can make the tactician goddess blush out of embarrassment… Well unless you're Chrom and you idiotically walk in on her taking a bath which I shall prevent! For the sole reason that I ship Sumia and Chrom together I mean who wouldn't do it, they're obviously the most canon couple in the game.
And since Robin is a female I don't have to worry about the Lucina X Robin pairing, seriously that is one of the creepiest pairings and that's not counting the other abominations people call pairings for Lucina! But I do wonder who Robin is going to choose considering the gaggle of men she can choose from…
"It looks like Emm is going back to the palace. Would you like to meet her?" asked Chrom, I nodded alongside Robin and with that w
we continued our march to the palace where I can go destroy more things and turn them into gold!
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"Chrom! Lissa! Welcome home. Oh, and good day, Frederick. How fared you all?" well if it isn't the exalt Emmeryn, I almost chocked myself to death after seeing Emmeryn mainly because she is so radiant and not in a metaphorical manner she is literally radiating her own light!
"Well we won't have any bandit problems anytime soon" Chrom replied, seriously! How is Robin not affected by the fact that Emmeryn is literally emitting light from her being! I mean sure she's flustered but she seems completely oblivious about the bright light *Sigh* this really makes me question how can someone be so oblivious to these kinds of details
"…It sounds like Ylisse owes you a debt of gratitude, Robin and you too Edgar" I heard Emmeryn say as I stopped thinking to myself
"Not at all, milady!"
"No need for thanks, I just did what any warrior would do"
"Forgive me, your Grace but I must speak. Robin claims to have lost her memory and Edgar claims he is from a land in the Outrealms, but it is only that, a claim" really Frederick? I literally scream out "I'm from the Outrealms" with my attire alone which I really need to change, I mean it looks cool and all but I don't like the color black or grey on my clothes and it's pretty uncomfortable now that I actually have the time to get used to this, I'm probably just going to copy Joseph Joestar's clothes and just change the colors, you know what I'll do that later, once I meet the other Shepherds that is
"We cannot rule out the possibility that they're both brigands themselves or even Plegian spies" said Frederick
"Frederick" Chrom glared at him
"Yet you allowed them into the castle, Chrom. Do these two have your trust?" Emmeryn asked
"Yes, they both risked their lives for our people even when they had the choice to just walk away from the fight" ooh new dialogue now that's change number one for me being here
"Well then, Robin, Edgar. It seems you've earned Chrom's faith, and as such you have mine as well" Said Emmeryn, wow she really needs to learn how to be selfish for once in her life, then again she wouldn't be the same Emmeryn everyone loves so there's that…
"Milady"
"…"
"But thank you Frederick for your prudence, as always. Chrom and Lissa are blessed to have such a tireless guardian" said Emmeryn, ha! Guardian is a complete understatement for Frederick, skip a little bit of the dialogue aaannnd…
"I think that's our cue Edgar and Robin! C'mon, there's a place I want to show you!" said Lissa as she pushed Robin along
"You go on ahead Robin I'll be there in a minute!" She exclaimed as she pushed Robin even more, wait I don't remember this being a thing in the game…
"Hey Edgar, I need to talk to you really quickly!" Lissa whispered as she took my hand and dragged me outside
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"Edgar, I think… I think I might have developed my stand" Lissa said in a serious tone that I couldn't think she could do! And wait did she say she developed her stand!
"Lissa… are you sure you developed your stand?" I asked sternly
Yes, back in the forest…"
Flashback
"Chrom w-what the heck is that!" exclaimed Lissa as a portal shaped like an eye suddenly appeared in midair, out of that portal came three of the undead or as they're better known as Risen
"Tch, Lissa stay back! I can't let you get hurt by these foul things" said Chrom as he unsheathed his Falchion and immediately charged the three Risen two of which actually charged back while the third one managed to sneak through…
"Haaa!" With one mighty swing Chrom cut one Risen in half while the other Risen was already dead by what looked to be a young masked individual
"*Pant* *Pant*" Chrom panted as he slowly recovered his breath from exerting more energy than what he should've used against the two undead soldiers
"Kyaaa!" Lissa was backed against a boulder as the Risen who managed to sneak through the fight inched closer and closer to her ready to go for the kill
"Crap! Lissa" Chrom ignored his current fatigue and sprinted towards the Risen alongside the mysterious warrior that conveniently came to his aid, but even with all of their effort to reach her, it seemed Lissa would meet a gruesome end…
AKI
Suddenly a feminine battle cry was heard from Lissa, although the voice sounded older and more mature, for any regular soldiers like Chrom and possibly the young masked man it looked like Lissa managed to decapitate the Risen by getting a lucky whack with her staff, but unknown to them a pink skinned feminine stand appeared! The feminine stand had a Japanese nurse's outfit while also having a giant syringe strapped to its back holding a mysterious purple liquid in it, if you were to look closely the stand had Lissa's hairstyle to a tee and the stand had red blood eyes that looked like it could pierce through your very soul
Although Lissa didn't see it, her「Stand」killed the Risen for her by sweeping its arm horizontally with speeds that match even the fastest of stands, once the Ylissean princess opened her eyes she saw the decapitated form of her aggressor leaving her both confused and startled by the events that have transpired in only a matter of seconds
Flashback end
"…Yeah that was definitely your stand alright, try to summon it again" I told her
"But how! The first time was a spur of the moment thing!" she said
"did you receive a paper after you unlocked your stand?" I asked, if she knew the name of her stand then this will be over quickly
"Y-yeah actually, it just kind of appeared in one of my pockets, although I didn't bother reading it" said Lissa as she pulled a paper out of one her dress pockets…? If you can even call it that
"Just read the damn thing and you'll know everything you need to know about your stand" I told her and she obediently did so
Dear princess Lissa of Ylisse, if you're reading this then congratulations on unlocking your stand and becoming a stand user! It may be a hard pill to swallow but we here at the Speedwagon foundation will do our best to help royalty such as yourself to master your stand and use it to help others in need. We have studied your stand thoroughly and have compiled its stats and stand ability
Stand Master: Lissa
Stand Name:「The healing Factor」
Stand ability:「Medical Intuition」
Power – B
Speed – A
Range – A
Durability – D
Precision – A
Potential – C
Description: The power to instantly understand the healing properties of subjects in one's environment. The user has great, if not innate, medical knowledge, enabling them to easily treat others' injuries and create medicines. One with this ability can cook up concoctions and remedies for ailments with nearly anything in one's environments. They are also able to tell which things in the wild (or in one's kitchen) are poisonous and which are safe to ingest or to use in dark magic practices etc. Great Syringe, this Syringe allows the stand to inflict heavy poison damage to any enemy stand and non-stand user while simultaneously being a healing liquid to nearby allies!
Please princess Lissa use your stand to make your world a better place, and until the next time we meet, Godspeed your highness
Sincerely the Speedwagon foundation
…
"Eh…? EEEHHHH!?" yep, that was the exact reaction I was expecting from Lissa
"No wonder I felt smarter!" she shouted in realization
"okay, now that that's out of the way, try calling out your stand by saying its name and doing a cool pose!" If Owain is going to be born then I'm giving him a reason to be as weird as he was in both awakening and fates
"Oh! Um, *Ahem*「The healing factor!」Hehe how was that" said Lissa as she put a hand over her face and I swear I saw the kanji for menacing besides her, anyways, Lissa's stand appeared right behind her as soon as she finished calling out its name
"Wow! It looks so cool!" exclaimed Lissa as she inspected every little detail about the stand and I do mean every detail
"*Ahem* Lissa I don't want to rush you but maybe we should go find Robin, who knows where she's been" I said trying to divert her attention to something more important
"Uh? Oh yeah, I forgot to tell her where the barracks are! C'mon let's go find her before she gets into trouble!" goddammit Lissa
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After we picked up Robin who was wandering aimlessly around the castle we went to the back of the castle where apparently the "Shepherds garrison's" or as I like to call it "the support hut" was located at
"Here we are The Shepherds' garrison. Go on, make yourselves at home" Lissa said to us as everyone in the Garrison which was basically just Vaike, Sumia and a sprinting Maribelle turned to look at us, before she could speak I decided to pull a little trick from good ol' Joseph
"Let me take a guess! Your next line will be "Lissa my treasure! Are you all right? I've been on pins and needles! Now!" I said as I pointed both of my fingers at Maribelle, oh god I always wanted to do this!
"Lissa my treasure! Are you alright? I've been on pins and needles!" as soon as she finished she gasped in surprise
"Now for my second glimpse into the future you'll say "How in Naga's name did you know what I was going to say to my beloved Lissa! And action!" Oh my god! This is the best day ever! (Cue Ocean man if you want to)
"How in Naga's name did you know what I was going to say to my beloved Lissa! What!?" Maribelle gasped once again as everyone started laughing from her stupefied expression
"HAHAHA! If you can mess with Maribelle like that! Then you're a friend in my books" Said Vaike as he draped his left arm on me
"The name's Vaike but you can call me the teach" said Vaike as he clearly tried to flirt with me
"Sorry Vaike I ain't gay" I replied as I removed his arm from my shoulders
"Wait what do you-?"
He's a guy Vaike" Lissa responded and Vaike is now a statue… Wait isn't this crap supposed to only happen in anime… Maribelle and Sumia are also statues… The fuck?
"Preposterous! Not even I can gain such feminine charm! Gh, I can tell from your aura alone, no matter what kind of ridiculous attire you wear, you will always be as feminine as any Noble Lady!" Wait is that supposed to be a bad thing? Well I'm guessing it is considering this is happening… Goddammit this is going to be a running gag isn't it…
ゴ
ゴ
ゴ
ゴ
"H-hey what's with that glare!" For Naga's sake, I can see four damn Kanji for the word menacing floating besides her
"Hmph color me unimpressed" what the hell is with the sudden change in the mood!
"Hehehe well anyways, these two are Edgar and Robin, they're the new Shepherds Chrom recruited
"*Ahem* Yes! You've already met me but to clarify I'm Edgar the warrior from the Outrealms and the woman behind me is Robin the new tactician for the Shepherds" I said
"Yeah! You should see all the cool things they can do! Robin Edgar has this really cool ghost he calls a Stand! And it can punch really fast!" exclaimed Lissa as she tried to imitate my stands rapid hits too bad she didn't notice「The healing factor」also doing the punches but way faster
"Oh really? if that's true then Edgar over here can punch me without even rai-"
ORRRAAA!
"Gah! What the hell!?"
*Crash*
"There, you happy now?" I asked mockingly as I saw Vaike land on a stack of boxes breaking his fall a bit
"*Sigh* You didn't have to go that far Edgar" said Lissa as she took out her heal staff
"Wait Lissa, you should take your new stand for a little test" I said slyly if that syringe inflicted as much pain as it gave the impression of then I'm not missing this opportunity and luckily Lissa caught on and gave a sly smile
"Vaike stay still for a little bit this might hurt if you move too much「The healing factor!」exclaimed Lissa as her stand came out with her Syringe in hand
"The healing what!?" poor Vaike, he has no idea what'll hit him
*Thwack*
"GhhgggAAAHHHHH" Vaike screamed in pain as he held his right shoulder in pain rolling around with comical tears in his eyes
"Pfft HAhahaha" me, Lissa and Robin couldn't hold it in and just let out a howl of laughter watching everyone's dumbfounded face at seeing Vaike's pain and seeing his face heal quickly after that
"did we miss something?" asked Chrom who decided to speak up behind me and robin
"Nah you didn't really miss much" I said as I stopped laughing from Vaike's pain and finally composed myself, Lissa and Robin doing the same, Chrom was about to speak but Sumia decided to speak
"Ah! Captain! You've returned! I was- I mean, we were so-" and she's about to trip in three, two, one...
「Truth Hits Everybody!」
「The Healing Factor!」
Both stands grabbed Sumia before she could face plant on the floor *Sigh* If it wasn't for them being the main OTP of this game I would've married her in a heartbeat!
Well time to tune this out so you the readers can hear my thought on this whole situation, well to start things off, how the hell can I change the events of the game without them seeing it suspiciously, there's many ways to approach it, some can be brash and others can be stealthier *Sigh* I know for a fact I can prevent Emmeryn's death if I can get into a position where I can be close to her without raising suspicion that would be perfect, but I'll have to get close with her without raising any support flags… *Sigh* there's so many things to think about right now, I'll just wait until we reach Regna Ferox or something
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Well who knew this would be a thing, instead of the Chrom Vs Lucina fight it's me against her, how did this happen you may ask? Well first off, the Risen didn't appear in our path to Regna Ferox, I mean they did but they died way too easily for them to even be mentioned anymore so hooray I guess. After that little skirmish, we reached Regna Ferox where that guard Reimi actually let us in! Well that was after I bitch slapped her with the powers of common sense but that's beside the point, she let us in we talked to Flavia and now we're fighting for her in her little tournament to become Genghis Khan or some shit like that
"C'mon you can do it Edgar!" Lissa cheered me on at the sidelines, I think she's a little bit hyper but it doesn't matter right now it's time to kick Lucina's ass, luckily Sully and Frederick wiped the floor with the other enemy soldiers that accompanied Lucina
"Draw your blade Outrealmer" ooohh! I like that title
"Fine but I'm warning you know, it's better if you just quit now" I said as I unsheathed the Fusion sword from my back although I didn't need it since I have my mother fucking Jojo stand! I can't take out the risks here, even if 「Truth Hits Everybody」 can wipe the floor with Lucina, I don't want to break her altogether
"I'm not afraid to fight you, now enough talking, let our swords speak for us!" Lucina exclaimed as she came charging at me with her Falchion in tow, I immediately swung the broadsword as soon as she got close and it missed since she jumped over, of course I meant for that to happen so I can do this!
"Hrraah!" I headbutted Lucina square on the mask which admittedly hurt like hell, seriously I think I'm bleeding now…
"Tch" she skidded a few feet away from me while firmly holding her mask making sure it didn't fall of her face
I took my chances and rushed in with an overhead strike which she dodged and retaliated with a sword thrust to my stomach, luckily「Truth Hits Everybody」slapped the sword away giving me enough time to jump away
"Ready to give up now? It's only been one minute and you're already heavily injured" I told her in a matter of factly tone
"Gh no! I can still fight!" she exclaimed as she struggled to get into her fighting stance
"Is that so… then in that case I'll make things even for you" I said as I threw her an elixir which she grabbed, when she looked back up she stared at me with an obvious expression of shock
"Drink it up… Before you ask I'm not doing it out of pity I'm doing it because the fight was way too fast for me" seriously I think that was literally thirty seconds and within those seconds Lucina god fucked up badly, hell I'm giving her a handicap by breaking up my Fusion sword so I can fight with a regular sword instead
Once she finished drinking the Elixir she immediately got into a suitable fighting position while I stood straight because I was inexperienced with using actual swords! Sure, I make them but that's it! I haven't bothered to swing the metal sticks around!
"Haaah!" Lucina's war cry echoed across the arena with the audience and even the Shepherds that were still standing kept watching in baited breath as she sent out a fury of sword strikes towards me, I instinctively parried most of them but a few managed to graze my chest, left cheek and right thigh.
I retaliated with my own set of blows that seemed to be more effective the longer I kept the storm of sword slashes raining down on her, eventually I stopped and landed on my original spot so I could take a breather, Lucina seemed fine on the outside but I could tell she's quickly getting tired like me so I might as well end it while I have the chance.
I quickly got over to her and tried to trip her but she caught on fast enough and jumped up, after that he tried to stab my foot Luckily, I swiftly retracted my leg before she could get the chance to stab me in place, I then managed to cut her abdomen a few times before separating again
'Damn! Lucina definitely has better experience using a sword than me, if I'm going to finish it I'll have to find an opening and use brute force to knock her out cold'
'Even in the past he outclasses me! I shouldn't be surprised after all he's the one who raised me for most of my life… But… How does he look less like a girl here than in the future! No wonder Marino and Gyro look like women too!'
"It's time to end this fight!" Lucina exclaimed as she charged me full speed so I did the same
"Haaah!"
"Hyaaah!"
*Thunk*
…
*Thud*
…
"Holy shit that was close" I said as I saw Lucina's unconscious body hit the floor, a few seconds passed by and the crowd started to cheer which made me feel so fucking proud of myself! Mainly because I beat everyone's favorite fire emblem waifu Lucina without any remorse… On second thought that came out wrong…
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"…Mhm" Oh god my head hurts why does it hurt! Oh yeah, I had a drinking contest with Flavia, I'm pretty sure after that I flirted with Maribelle… Why?!
"huh where the hell am I?" I asked myself as I sat up from a bed, who's bed is it I don't know and I really don't want to find out right now
'Judging by how pristine this room is I'm guessing it's for the guests? But wait why is there a lump on my bed'
I lifted he sheet up and what I saw…
"FLAVIA?!" I fell off the bed and then I felt the wind rushing between my legs… Oh my god I had sex with Flavia… OH MY GOD I HAD SEX WITH FLAVIA!
She stirred for a bit before she decided to sit upwards exposing her big *Ahem* assets in front of me
"*Yawn* Hm…" she looked around for a bit before she spotted me laying naked on the floor, I thought she was going jump me and choke me to death but instead she just had a seductive smile on her face
"What? You like what you see?" she asked expectantly but the only thing I could do was stammer a few words out before I completely chocked and just began to ramble
"Don't worry about It! Now I really need something to drink and I'm pretty sure I'm out of milk so I'll need something to replace it" she said as she crawled over to me
"Is it my-?"
"Your sperm, yes! now hold still!"
"Wait, stop!"
"Just let it happen!"
"Stranger danger!"
This charade went on until the afternoon when Flavia's Lust was finally quenched… Edgar has never felt so violated in his life…
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AN: Here I am folks! And here's chapter two of Final Emblem: The bizarre adventures! I really got nothing to say other than enjoy the chapter
