Forever is Just Many Endings – Chapter 2

xXx

She was at work and the business of the baking really kept her mind off of her stress. The simplicity of the actions and making regular food made her feel surprisingly human. Cassy was humming to the sounds of the oldies on the radio and pulling pies out of the oven.

Bella is blow away by the way the pies look, "How on earth do you do this so well?"

She laughs, "Lots of love and lots of practice. When I was 16 my mom died and I threw myself into my cooking passion. My dad…he was broken and the only times he smiled was when he would eat my food. He was proud and grateful that I wasn't letting the pain ruin my life and in a weird way it was his fuel. It kept him strong, but it certainly didn't help his waistline," she giggles harder.

Bella smiled harder than she had in days. Cassy was so kind it made a warm feeling bubble in her belly and fill her body. She had never been around someone so bright for no reason at all. "Cassy…can I talk to you?"

"What's up, Bella?" Her concern was obvious because for once she stopped moving.

"Edward is cheating on me." Bella didn't know what made her actually say it, and the words bummed her out again. She felt like a failure, like she had lost something. In the race in this world to actually have a decent marriage, she lost.

"What the fuck," Cassy spit out, "Bella, I'm so sorry."

Pity was all she ever felt for herself so hearing it from someone else made her wish she could suck the words back inside and burry them deep in the ground, "I- I shouldn't have said anything. Please forget it."

"I am not going to forget that, but I'm hear when you need me."

xXx

Bella was thankful that she didn't pressure her, and walked out of work a little quicker than usual. They had extra cupcakes left so Bella skipped going home to take a long walk to her dad's to take him a few cupcakes. The air was so cool and relaxing as she walked. She enjoyed moments like this, moments of calm before the storm where she could really think. The house was a constant silent storm, Edward knew she knew but played her for a fool. The love between them dissipated and anger sunk its claws into their hearts. Nessie's eye seemed empty unless Jacob was around and she knew it was her fault. But it was so hard to show her daughter love when her body was so empty of it.

She felt like a real piece of shit then and remembered Cassy's story. She was her father's rock through his hardships, and Bella couldn't even raise the child she nearly died for. Cassy liked to bake and maybe Bella needed a passion that could bring her from the grave she put herself into.

Edward wasn't the only thing special in this world, as she so naively believed in high school. Immortality was no longer a foreign idea to her; she very well knew she would suffer in this world forever.

But maybe, she could grow up and stop allowing the suffering to paralyze her from living. She did not have a beating heart, but she wasn't a marble statue frozen in time. Life for her lately was like a piece of art, she constantly stood in one moment, the moment she learned of Edward's infidelity. Imaging what the sculpture would look like, she seems a miserable woman with a terrible frown, the thought made Bella feel old and considering her age to the eternity she had left, she wasn't old at all.

Edward and his family had spent so many years on this earth, graduating over and over and living the most mediocre life over and over. Right now, Bella still had her father and her town, no one would suspect she was frozen in time yet, so she must enjoy her first time living to the fullest and she just had to figure out how.

She finishes her walk around 8 and knocks on her dad's door. She hears her old man yelling and swearing and decides to walk in. To her amusement she finds Charlie failing at making himself a hamburger. She knocks on the door frame, "Dad?"

"Bella," he says sheepishly, "I think I need help." She walks towards him and waves him away and begins cooking.

"I set you some cupcakes on the table. They're from work." He jumps up and grabs the box from the dining room, she hears his happy grumble as he takes a bite. She laughs but then feels a little guilty he's left here alone constantly, she can relate to him now.

They are sitting at the table and Charlie takes notice to her sad facial expression, "What the hell is going on, Bella?" She stares at him in shock and he clears his throat, "I mean, what's going on at home? Hanging out with your pop wasn't really cool when you were in high school, so why is it now?"

Her eyes sting and she wishes she could sob into her arms on this table, but she can't and she's trying to be stronger, "A lot is happening."

"I wish I could kill him." He takes an aggressive bite into his food and Bella knows whom 'him' is. She knows better than to say anything, she would spill it out. "You know you're a lot more like me than I wanted you to be."

"What do you mean?"

"You're too nice and loving. I'm not dissing your mother but she never wanted to be here. She would leave over and over, sometimes for a day, sometimes for a month, and I would never ask her where she went. I sat here and waited because I loved her and I didn't know what else was out there," he swallows loudly, "When she got pregnant, she stayed for the longest time without leaving. I thought maybe my loyalty finally changed her, and I changed myself to try and be a man that would make her stay. But you can't force anyone to stay and you can't change yourself to make someone happy. I was miserable. I know you're like me and you're gonna fight for what you think is right, but sometimes you aren't right, Bells." He puts his hand on hers and gives it a squeeze and gives her a sad smile.

"What do you mean," Bella says, "I don't think I can fix this, dad. I didn't do anything wrong."

"Maybe you didn't wrong another person, but you can always wrong yourself. I locked myself up trying to lock your mom into this life with me," he's quiet for a moment and thinks, then continues, "Let me say it like this, once you came to visit me for a month, uhm, you were around 8. We were playing outside and we found this injured bird. You begged me to take it in and we did. We took care of that bird as best as we could, but it still didn't want to stay in our home. The bird would peck at the windows and squawk constantly. Even though all we did was love that bird and keep it safe, it wanted back out into the same surrounding that hurt it. You didn't really get why I did it but I did all I could for that bird and I had to let it go. Now I see it in a special way, just because it's life was better here didn't mean it was right, so we had to let that bird go make it's own choices."

She understood fully what he meant. "Thank you, dad."

"Your daughter is a lot more perceptive than you think, and if she's having to talk to this old man about it, she really needs her mom. Go home to her, Bells. Even if he's there she needs you and you need her. My biggest regret in life wasn't losing your mom, it was not putting in enough effort to see you."

Bella nodded, "I love you, Dad." She gave him a hug and decided to head home.

xXx

Only Edward was in their cottage so Bella headed to the big house. She found her daughter in the kitchen with Rosalie and Jacob. "Hey, Jacob."

Rosalie seemed a little on edge and said to her, "Bella, I really need to talk to you."

Giving Ness a big kiss on the cheek, she smiles at her daughter and then says to Rosalie, "Sure, I'll follow you," and whispers, "I love you," to her daughter and follows her sister-in-law outside.

Always the blunt one she bites right into it, "I caught Edward fucking with another human bitch."

Bella, who Rosalie suspected to cry, smiles and says to her, "I know." And the biggest grin shows on her face and Rosalie reminds herself to never fuck with Bella.

xXx

Death was the greatest ending to the adventure of life. Existing was fucking hard, Bella decides. Life is a terrible place, with quick bursts of pleasure and joy. In a normal position, you grow old and you carry all of your memories, good and bad, in a large bag on your back. In the end, your back breaks and it's all over and you die. The person who passes becomes free of all of that and goes to whatever afterlife or starts again as a baby.

When you're a vampire you are incredibly strong, Bella could throw a truck over her head with one hand. But the weight of a vehicle was nothing like the weight of her life. Her bag was already large and she would live forever, she would never be rid of her pain and memories. Edward will always be and as will the pain when her relatives die. She will have the pain of a 100-year-old woman, but the face of a teenager. What had she done? Everything was supposed to be perfect but it wasn't.

So, beginning her life for the first of many times, she decides she will live for herself.

Her talk with Rosalie had made everything easier, Rosalie's pain was bigger and stronger than Bella's but instead of closing up she gave Bella so much advice and strength. Rosalie loved her brother, but he had definitely put himself on her list of people she didn't care for. She was only worried of Bella and what choice she would make and she didn't have a good feeling at all.

xXx

Please send me your ideas on what I should do next. I don't have a routine so it'll be a lot of uploads and then maybe a period of none. I feel like I'm the only Twilight fan left so give me a review for a little uplifting.