A/N: Sorry it took some time, buuuut. Here it is. I hope you likey. :D
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Later that night I lie away in my bed, as I always do, thinking about my earlier visitor. It had been so long since someone had come to see me, even my own family. I had long ago realized they gave up; it was funny in a morbid sort of way, the only reason I didn't surrender to Death was because I was always such a fighter.
Was I fighting now?
But I didn't get to think long; that loud, obnoxious voice of my check up doctor came ringing through the door. I winced, trying to bury myself farther under the covers, my tired blue eyes drifting over to the fiery redhead as he waltzed across the white room towards me. He was a nice guy, just a little weird.
As he neared me he spun in a circle, stopping at the foot of my bead and putting on a charming smile before glancing down at my charts. His grin seemed to fade a little and he put the clipboard down, bringing a chair up next to me. Behind his dark framed glasses striking grey-green eyes clouded with concern as he mentioned for me to sit up. I obeyed robotically, not moving as he took out his stethoscope, checking my breathing.
When he finished he sighed and ran his scarred hands through his spiky hair, raising his eyebrows at me.
"You've lost two pounds." He said, his expression obviously worried.
I didn't answer, I never did. I just looked at him square in the eyes (something I only felt comfortable doing with him) folding my arms across my chest as if asking him to continue.
"You're twenty-five pounds underweight for a woman your age." He went on, seeming to get my message, "An' you don't want us to force feed you." I nodded, agreeing with his statement as I watched him expectantly.
"Kairi," He began carefully, as if trying to choose his words right, "If you don't start eatin' soon we're gonna have to put you on treatment, whether you like it or not, cause if we don't you could…" His voice started to lower as he cracked his knuckles (a thing he did when put under alarming stress) "You could be put in intensive care or you could die." He finished in a rush, closing his eyes for a brief moment before reopening them.
Choking down that familiar sick feeling I gripped the bed sheets tightly, my mouth feeling dry as my heart thundered in my head. The room suddenly got cooler and I could feel icy sweat beginning to drip down my body, making me feel clammy and dizzy. DIE! YOU COULD DIE KAIRI. YOU'RE SO CLOSE TO INDANGERING YOUR LIFE. LOOK AT THIS FIGHTER NOW, FALLING DOWN TO HER KNEES IN FRONT OF FEAR.
I couldn't move, I could barely breathe. He'd just said I could die if I didn't start eating properly. How was that possible? HOW? How could the ONE THING I had suffered so greatly to escape come back and threaten me again? Death was supposed to be GONE, I wasn't supposed to be burdened with that again. It was done, over with.
I'd seen enough of that terror for someone as fragile as me to handle. Why do you think I was here? But they were supposed to be taking care of me, preventing this from happening.
Suddenly, I was angry; angry at them though it was clearly not their fault. But they were easier to blame. They were the doctors, the ones with the certificate saying they were legally allowed to perform medical practices on sick and hurt patients. Such as myself and every other person in this place. They were supposed to save us, make us better…
Fix us.
I hadn't realized I was crying until I felt his hand against my cheek, wiping my tears away. My body burned with fury as I viciously swatted his hand away, glaring at him coldly. He ignored my protest and tilted my face up towards his. Something he had done many times before after I'd have a vision, his warm blue eyes darkening with concern as he held me, comforting me in my moments of fear.
No one was there to comfort me when he died.
God, Sora, I'm so sorry. So fucking sorry.
I tore my face away, squirming as far away from him as I could get. How dare he bring back that pain? That awful feeling I try so hard everyday to push into the back of my mind along with all those terrible memories.
He reached forward again, looking sincerely concerned but I didn't want to see it. If he was so concerned and so worried why wasn't he fixing this? I ripped the covers off of me and unsteadily climbed out of the bed, leaning against the wall for support.
"…" I opened my mouth, wanting desperately to say something. Yell at him, say something to make him go away. He walked around the bed slowly, approaching me cautiously, his arm outstretched towards me. I shook my head and took a step back. If he got too close I could make a break for the door.
I inched along the wall discreetly as he got closer; I knew he could catch me easily. I was in no condition to run but I wanted to try. I wanted him out of here.
Gasping as his arms folded around my skinny form, I was too surprised to do something about it at that moment.
"You can't leave," He murmured, starting to drag me back towards my bed, me finally starting to protest. "Stop this now," He commanded gently, "If you over exhilarate yourself you could go into shock or something' equally as frightenin' ." He told me softly as we neared the bed.
I struggled weakly; feeling more and more tired with each attempt to loosen his grip and break free.
"Quiet now," He whispered, "We'll keep you safe."
SAFE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SAFE! YOU JUST TOLD ME I COULD DIE AND YOU'RE GOING TO KEEP ME SAFE! LISTEN HERE YOU ASSHOLE, DEATH ISN'T SOMETHING YOU CAN KEEP ANYONE SAFE FROM. I LEARNED THAT THE HARD WAY. DON'T YOU LIE TO ME.
My eyes grew large, my body feeling renewed with energy as electric anger flowed through my veins; momentarily blurring my vision as I swung my arm back, hitting his face with such force my hand throbbed. He immediately let me go, and I knew I didn't really damage him, he was just shocked. My heart started racing as I turned around to face him, watching him as his hands cupped his now bleeding nose.
He recovered quickly and rushed towards me, this time dodging my fist and snatching me by the waist, yanking me towards him. I shrieked unhappily and squirmed in his grasp, punching and kicking him endlessly, but it didn't seem to faze him. Nothing I did was working; I was nothing compared to him.
Then it hit me; I leaned towards his shoulder and sunk my teeth into him. I heard him hiss in pain as his hold loosened considerably. I continued to bite down into his skin, soon tasting a metallic liquid and gave one last sharp bite before yanking away. His other hand flew to the now bleeding wound and his jaw dropped like he was going to say something but nothing came out.
Reaching forward I curled my hands around his neck and shoved him against the wall, tightening my grip on his throat. He coughed and tried to pry my hands away but I would dig my nails into his skin and he'd gasp in pain.
"K-K-Kairi," He wheezed, his voice breathy with lack of proper oxygen, "S-st-stop; c-calm y-yourself dow-down. Th-this isn't y-y-you. Th-the Ka-Kairi I kn-know wou-would nev-never hurt s-s-someone-one. C-calm d-down!" He pleaded.
CALM MYSELF DOWN? HOW CAN I DO THAT? I DON'T WANT TO DIE! THIS ISN'T FAIR, I'M SUPPOSED TO LIVE! I ESCAPED THE TRAGIC DEATHS THAT ALMOST STOLE MY LIFE BEFORE. I GOT AWAY, THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY PROTECTION. BUT YOU TELL ME I COULD DIE, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL? YOU LIED AND SAID YOU COULD SAVE ME!
This Dr. Reno startled me; usually so tough and charming it was stunning to see him so helpless. I barely noticed as I felt our bodies moving along the wall, I was too busy trying to strangle him, make him feel the horrible grief I felt every single day of my life. I didn't even register the fact he had pressed the red button on the wall until I felt strong hands pull me away from him.
I watched as a doctor raced towards Reno's form that was now slumped against the wall. His neck was red with white fingerprints and black and blue imprints of fingernails. His nose was bleeding again and he had random cuts and bruises along his face from when I had been trying to get away from him.
The doctors asked him questions as they examined him and his lips moved with answers that were soundless to me; drowned out by my wails of fear and shame. He continued to respond to them but his eyes lay on my struggling body sadly. And then it hit me, I knew exactly why he hadn't stopped me, because he most certainly could have. He hadn't wanted to hurt me more than he knew I already was. Oh, what have I done! He was always so kind to me! How could I have done that? What came over me?
Quitting the fight with sudden fatigue I allowed them to place me onto the bed; fresh tears stinging my eyes and spilling down my cheeks.
The doctors helped Reno to his feet and removed his blood stained lab coat, the doctor studied the bite and glanced at me and I looked down at my hands folded in my lap.
"Are you up to date on all of your shots?" He asked Reno solemnly.
"Yes." He answered in a droned voice.
"How about we take you to my office and we'll get these wounds cleaned up?"
Reno looked like he was about to disagree but seemed to decide against it and shrugged nonchalantly shooting me one last look. I didn't acknowledge him. He disappeared out of my room with the nurse and the unfamiliar doctor.
Not too long after they left my regular doctor walked in (the one who had spoken to my visitor) and sat in a chair at the end of my bed.
"Ahh, Kairi," He sighed, "What's going on with you?" He handed my the paper and pencil.
I hesitated before beginning to answer him. I…don't know.
His face creased in a frown, his forehead wrinkling in thought. "Did he say something to upset you?"
Sort of.
"Would you like to tell me?"
No.
"Are you angry with him?"
No.
"He might not be your checkup doctor anymore…" He said slowly, "Would you be okay with that?"
My hand froze in answer, my hands beginning to shake. He'd be reassigned? I'd get a new doctor? I couldn't handle that, I don't WANT THAT.
NO.
"You want him to keep seeing you?"
Yes.
It was quiet for a bit; the only sound being our breathing and the clock on the wall. It seemed like hours but at last he spoke, "If that is what you want…" His blue eyes seemed disappointed but he smiled, "I'll speak with him."
I nodded, handing the paper and pen to him and watched him leave, not telling him my new fear. It was all up to him now, what if he didn't want to see me anymore?
I swallowed thickly and buried my face in my hands, beginning to sob. What had I done?
Finally regaining control of myself I glanced up and looked at the clock to see what time it was. The answer made me inwardly groan; three A.M, still four hours until my next checkup.
I lay back down, drawing the covers close and closing my eyes. Tonight I was unusually tired. Fighting to stop sleep from coming I eventually gave up and let myself fall into a light sleep; plagued with the worry of Reno not showing up and the return of my earlier visitor.
Could I look at him this time? Or was he too much of a reminder? Why had he suddenly come and find me? It's been years; why now? Was something happening?
I haven't had any "visions" though…
That night my dreams were haunted by his face and his horrific escape from Death replaying over and over like that broken record player we found playing music in the tent where his brother's death had taken place. That song still haunted me.
Love of mine; someday you will die-
Love of mine; someday you will die-
Love of mine; someday you will die…
A/N: I know, bad ending. . By the way, those lyrics are property of Death Cab For Cutie; the song is 'I Will Follow You Into the Dark'. This is also my first time writing a story in just Kairi's POV. Most of this chapter was inspired by 'Seize the Day' by Avenged Sevenfold and 'Who Knew' by Pink. I'm pretty sure this was a crappy excuse for a chapter but I needed something of a filler that lead to the next chapter where much more happens. :D
People asked me who the mysterious visitor from the last chapter was; well I've eliminated Sora and Reno; any guesses as to who it is? First person to guess right the next chapter is dedicated to you.
