The Kitsune with A Mouth

Naruto and all related characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Deadpool and all related characters belong to Marvel Comics


"You have no idea what you're talking about!" Naruto exclaimed as he stood in Training Ground 10, Sakura and Sasuke standing a good yard away from him as he had the most verbal internal debate they had ever head.

"Sure I do! I'm an all knowing yellow box! And I'm telling you the sooner you off those other two, the better off everyone in this series will be!" Naruto heard a voice say, followed by seeing a floating yellow box with the same words the voice said on it.

"Maybe, but I got a plan for them that involves some hot wax and a waffle iron. It'll be hilarious!" The red clad blond said, just loudly enough for his teammates to hear. Needless to say they shuddered at the possibilities of what a warped brain like Naruto's could come up with.

Four hours later Kakashi showed up, and was met with glares from Sakura and Sasuke. Naruto, who had been talking to himself the entire time barely noticed jonin's presence.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? WE'VE BEEN HERE FOR 4 HOURS!" The pink haired banshee screeched. Kakashi smiled and said,

"Sorry but I got lost on the road of life." Sakura just growled and yelled,

"WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?" Kakashi ignored her and said,

"Alright the test is simple. All you have to do is take these bells from me."

He held up 2 jingle bells and continued,

"You can use any and all jutsu you know and I warn you right now, if you aren't prepared to kill me you won't get these bells. If you fail to get them by noon you'll be tied to poles with out any lunch and forced to watch as I eat my lunch." As he finished, Sakura and Sasuke went into hiding in order to form a plan of attack. Naruto on the other decided to go for a different strategy.

"Time for a little game of Decapitate the Cyclops!" Naruto yelled in demented glee as he drew his butterfly swords, and charged. Kakashi stood still, now reading a little orange book. Naruto got in close, making rapid slashes and stabs, but Kakashi managed to dodge them all. After a moment Naruto flipped back and looked at the book Kakashi was reading.

"Aha! That book is the source of your power! My mission is clear: destroy that book with extreme prejudice!" The red clad lunatic exclaimed as disappeared in a puff of red smoke and then appeared in front of Kakashi, his attacks now focused solely on the book.

"Are you insane?!" Kakashi yelled, dropping his aloof persona as his most prized possession was now in danger.

"You'll need to talk to my psychiatrist about that, but he took an indefinite leave of absence." Naruto said, his sword coming dangerously close to Kakashi's book. The silver haired jonin kicked Naruto hard in the gut, sending him a couple of feet.

"I can't imagine why." Kakashi said, placing his book in his back pocket.

"It was either because I tied him up and force fed him meatloaf because he's a vegetarian, or because I blew up his office three times." The red swordsman said casually as he sheathed one is his swords and reached into his jacket, grabbing four kunai and throwing them straight for Kakashi. The jonin leaped out of the way, only for Naruto to teleport in front of him, swords at the ready.

Blocking with a kunai of his own, Kakashi asked,

"How do you blow up an office three times?" Naruto, still slashing wildly at the older male, simply replied,

"You know for a jonin, you're pretty dumb. I mean I thought everyone knew how to blow up an office!"


From their positions in the trees, Sasuke and Sakura watched the battle.

"How can Naruto be this good? He's taking on a jonin like it was nothing!" Sakura wondered aloud in a hushed tone. Sasuke's thought's on the other hand were not quite along the same lines.

'How can that loser do it?! I've got to get him to train me, I don't care if he's an insane idiot!"


"I've got the oddest feeling that Uchiha dope is gonna make things a lot easier for us in the torture area." A yellow box said.

"Ya think so? Well the sooner I get done with Feather-Duster Hair here, the sooner Sasuke meets a new world of pain!" Naruto said suddenly, causing Kakashi to wonder who he was talking to. Suddenly the blond disappeared in a puff of red and reappeared behind the jonin. Kakashi felt cold steel enter his rear end and leaped up in pain.

"Aha! Got your book! Now it's powers shall be mine!" Naruto exclaimed in manic glee as he began to run into the forest, waving the little orange book in the air. Kakashi got up and ran after him, he wasn't about to let anyone get away with stealing his beloved book. Actually Naruto was the first person to get the book away from him, but that was another story.

At this point, Sasuke jumped down, fuming because Naruto had not only bested their sensei so far, but because he also lead him off somewhere!


"Give me back that book! Do you know what the Hokage would do if he found out one of my students read that?! HE'D BAN ME FROM READING IT EVER AGAIN!" Kakashi shouted in a panic, his calm, cool, and collected self image long since shattered.

"Ah man! I should'a recognized the cover! I got the entire series at home." Naruto said disappointedly as he sat on a tree limb. He then drew his sword, ready to slice the book into confetti. Kakashi happened to see him leaped up to where he was sitting and said,

"Drop the book and no one gets hurt." Naruto looked lazily at him, his blade dangerously close to the book.

"He REALLY wants that book. Looks like it's a good old fashioned hostage negotiation!" A yellow box said, popping up next to Kakashi's head.

"Hostage negotiation? Great idea!" Naruto said, his blade now digging a little into the paper. Kakashi couldn't move, afraid of what might happen if he tried to force the book out of the blond's hands.

"Ooooh, this is that special collectors edition. The one with the two bonus stories right?" Naruto said, looking at the gold sticker on the cover.

"Yes. I had to special order that, they don't carry it here." The jonin said evenly, fantasizing about strangling the Uzumaki when this was over.

"I'll tell ya what. You let me and those two slackjaws pass and you get your porn back. Deal?" The red clad lunatic asked, his sword still on the the book.

"DEAL! Now give it back!" Kakashi said, despite himself.

"Oh, you'll get it back, just as soon as you head right to the Hokage's office and pass us." Naruto said, sawing the book with his blade slightly to drive the jonin over the edge.

"OKAY! I'm going!" Kakashi said as he ran off full speed to the Hokage Tower.

"Ah, there's nothing more beautiful than the love between a man and his porn." Another yellow box said as it popped up.

"Yeah. It hits you right here." Naruto said, touching his heart as he nodded thoughtfully. He then jumped up and smiled widely at the book.

"Bonus stories here I come!" The blond said as he flipped to the back of the book. However he was interrupted by Sasuke who just arrived.

"Where's Kakashi and what's that book?" The Uchiha asked as he looking Naruto dead in the eye as Sakura showed up.

"Yeah, what happened Naruto?" The pink haired banshee asked.

"QUICK LIE! THEY WANT OUR PORN!" A yellow box frantically said.

"Oh, he left to pass us. Apparently we, um, had to get the bells AND the book to pass, so here ya go." Naruto said as he tossed a bell to Sasuke.

"Why'd you get the bells for us?" Sakura asked.

"Because I want you two to pass so we can get some quality time together!" Naruto said, a manic smile on his face which did a good job terrifying the other two.

"Say Sasuke, how do you feel about waffle irons?" Naruto said, escorting his new teammates out of the training ground.


PLEASE REVIEW!