A/N- Hey I'm back! I'm pretty sure that at this point I can't guarantee linear updates...failwhale! Anyways, without further adieu chapter two!
My hand practically froze around the doorknob, the cool metal was begging me to turn it, but I just couldn't do it. Whether it was mental or physical the muscles in my hand wouldn't or couldn't. Maybe this was just one of those mind over body sort of thing. If that was the case then my mind was kicking butt.
If I opened the door then there was no turning back, once I stepped into Sano's apartment it would become my apartment, and in turn, my home. This wasn't something I could just run away from; it wasn't a game that I was playing just for kicks. There was no way I could betray Sano like that.
Sano seemed to have a nose for fear because he caught onto mine in a flash.
"I can't believe this. You have the courage to run away from home, nearly jump off a bridge into a running river, come back with only a cold, stare down your father, the legendary Hiko Seijuro, and even dare to spill sake on MY MOTHER. ON OUR WEDDING DAY. "Sano seemed quite out of breath, but that didn't stop his efforts at dragging the skeletons out of the closet.
"What are you afraid of? What in the world is scaring you?" Damn. It wasn't fair. He was using those eyes again. I hated those vulnerable puppy-dog eyes because they could make me do anything, and it was my turn to be defenseless.
"A relationship, okay?" My voice barely reached a whisper.
"We already agreed on doing nothing until you're ready, and I'm not going to force myself on y-"He rambled on like a prepubescent boy who had just been discovered with porn. I stopped him with a glare. Of course Sano was going to think that this was about sex.
"No, I'm not afraid about the physical requirements of our marriage. I'm afraid of a relationship, a real one." I corrected. Now that I thought about it Sano was probably right to think about sex, his mother had been badgering him about it in hushed tones recently. After all it wouldn't do for the only male Sagara to be heirless, or worse, gay. The thought of Sano's mother Megumi discovering either one would be frightening, but priceless. Thankfully Sano wasn't gay.
"I love you. You know that, right?" I rolled my eyes as his interruption derailed my train of thought.
"Yes Sano, when have you ever ceased to remind me so?" I teased back. He still seemed pretty indignant from my first answer so I elaborated. "Entering a relationship means depending on someone else, trusting them, and hoping that they'll do the same. It's something I haven't done in a while."
I let out a surprised squeak when his arms encircled my waist, drawing me closer.
"You know, one lie, and my fingers will fly." As if to prove his statement his left hand intertwined with mine and his right gently pried my frozen fingers off of the awaiting doorknob.
I let myself fall, leaning my weight into Sano's chest. Maybe if I trusted someone else I wouldn't get hurt for once, or maybe if I trusted the scars in heart would become even more intricate.
He seemed surprised by our sudden vicinity, possibly if I turned my head I could hear his heart pounding furiously against his chest.
"Both of us know that Father discontinued that sort of discipline years ago. He said it was too conspicuous, besides broken arms are much, much easier to fix." Maybe it was it was my turn to tease Sano. I tilted my head up, breathing into his ear.
"It'd be a pity to lose all your fingers don't ya think? After all there are much better uses for your fingers." I looked up at his face. Success, he was bright red.
"Embarrassed? Don't tell me that you're a virgin?" The way he stopped breathing confirmed it. Sano wouldn't be one for much longer, so I figured now would e the best time to take advantage of it.
"Don't tell me that you haven't even kissed a girl." I accompanied my teasing by blowing hot air into his ear. He shivered. "Was I the first girl you even held hands with? Do I have the privilege of taking away all of your firsts? I'm honestly quite flattered."
Sano's expression was dazed. I probably struck the nail on the head; Sano was definitely more of a virgin than me.
As if to protect himself from my words he physically pushed me away. Curiously I turned around to look at Sano's face again. Instead of red cheeks I was greeted with a furrowed brow. My mistake, Sano wasn't embarrassed, he was livid. Crap. Looks like I just stepped on a landmine. And I was thus acknowledged with an onslaught of words.
"So what if you're the only girl that I've ever actually even remotely liked? It doesn't matter to me. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT THAT MOST OF YOUR FIRSTS WERE DONE WITH THAT SON OF A BITCH BASTARD." I winced. "What I do care about, is that right now you're mine, and even though you don't love me, I know I can make you fall in love with me." His eyes were no longer pleading, they were demanding.
"Sano I- "Suddenly a warm mouth was covering mine. This can't be happening. Trying to push him away I clutched the front of his shirt, instead I found my wrist pinned above my head, seems like struggling only incited him.
Surprisingly his aggressive advances turned gentle. I kinda liked the way his mouth made me feel like melting, and tentatively I responded with a lot less ardor, not even realizing my actions, with shy movement my lips moved in response to his.
Sano's POV
"So what if you're the only girl that I've ever actually even remotely liked? It doesn't matter to me." Why didn't she understand? That, when I told her I loved her I wasn't giving some half-assed attempt to get her guard down, I actually meant what I said I didn't care how dirty or tainted she thought she was, cause Kaoru was Kaoru. Nothing would ever change that fact, and Kaoru was all I needed.
"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT THAT MOST OF YOUR FIRSTS WERE DONE WITH THAT SON OF A BITCH BASTARD." Sometimes the words that needed to be said the most also hurt the worst, and if I looked into Kaoru's eyes I'd never be able to forgive myself.
"What I do care about, is that right now you're mine, and even though you don't love me, I know I can make you fall in love with me." Now, I could face her eyes. First there was confusion, then understanding, then pity. She though, that she was a lost cause, far too damaged to love again. "Sano I-" No, I wouldn't let her have her way, this time I would show her I was more than just words and empty promises. Kaoru just needed to know how much I needed her-
Why was my mouth on her-
What? Logical reasoning went over my head and out the window, once I felt how soft her lips were. Now it was just a raw animalistic need. I felt her arms gripping the front of my shirt, wrinkling the fabric, trying to push me away. Then they weren't.
All that really mattered right now was Kaoru. Maybe this is how people described drowning in love.
Kaoru was kissing me back?
Kaoru was kissing me back!
Sure they were annoyingly gentle, like tiny whispers. Sure they were really sort of clumsy, but I found them enduring and it was Kaoru, which made it so much better.
Kaoru POV
What was happening? Why was I responding? My lips ghosted over his as if silently defying my will.
The manacles on my wrists slackened, and the kiss was parted.
Why is he smirking? That asshole, wait till he found himself castrated.
"Still scared of a relationship? Cause I think we can make this work." His gaze was uncomfortable, piercing and seemed to make the scars I'd hidden long ago bleed fresh again.
I needed escape.
Review? Please? :3
A/N-edited 5/11/12, I noticed a spelling mistake :P
