Chapter 2
Sliding his hands along the smooth white leather, Garren leaned in placing slow tortuous kisses along her throat, taking his time to fully explore her once more. The knowledge that Cara was finally his forever only served to further ignite his pervasive need for her. His large hands settled on her hips, gripping her firmly as he pulled her flush against him.
Cara could hardly catch her breath as his lips brushed along her throat, his teeth skating along her skin as his fingers dug deeply into her hips. Her mind began to spin with the events of the day, spinning into a swirling haze of supreme happiness that she never thought that she'd ever experience.
Not her; not a Mord'Sith who had done the heinous things that she had done.
And yet she was here, being loved by an amazing man that she could now call her husband. Unexpected tears stung her eyes as her fingers worked their way through his long dark hair. She pulled gently, forcing him to find her lips once more.
Garren willingly complied, loving her need to taste him. Her lips parted, asking him to enjoy her more fully as she began to unbutton his jacket. A tear suddenly escaped unbidden, sliding down her cheek and touching his lips.
Stunned by the salty taste of tears, Garren pulled back in concern, taking her face in his hands. "What's wrong?"
Cara closed her eyes, ashamed of the emotions that she had allowed to surface. She couldn't believe that she had lost control over her feelings like that. "It's just…I never thought I'd have something as wonderful as this. I thought this was only for people who deserved love."
"You deserve love more than anyone I have ever met," Garren gently told her, his thumbs stroking her cheeks. "And I plan on proving it to you every day for the rest of our lives."
Staring into his gray eyes, Cara smiled softly, nodding in response, wanting so badly to believe him. "I love you, Garren, more than I have ever loved anyone in my whole life."
"And I love you, my Cara…always," he told her, touched by her profession.
Kissing him deeply, Cara pushed his jacket from his shoulders, allowing it to fall freely to the floor, her need to be with him beginning to overtake her. His fingers found the clasps that encased her perfect body in the white leather, needing to feel the softness of her skin pressed against his.
Despite their body's demands, they took their time removing each other's clothing, enjoying this time of intimacy, the thrilling stroke of their lover's touch against their flesh. This was just the beginning of forever for them and Garren was determined to make it memorable for the both of them.
Lifting her up into his arms, he carried her to their waiting bed, laying her down. Cara immediately leaned up, her lips meeting his in a heated kiss as he settled over her, their tongues dueling for control. She gasped as his lips left hers to find her breast, his hands reverently stroking her body.
His love for her wasn't hindered by the things that Darken Rahl had done to her, the brutal rape that he had forced her to endure time and time again. His love wasn't based on what she could provide him or the pleasure she could give him. His only goal was to love her with all his whole heart and to show it to her in every way.
Understanding flooded Cara's heart, opening her eyes to what had been before her all along. She submitted herself fully to her husband, allowing him to make love to her instead of forcing her control over him. She was still the stubborn Mord'Sith, one who was strong and fully in control in every way, but now she knew that she didn't have to be. Not always…not with him. She could be her true self, the person that she had forgotten that she once was.
Cara was overwhelmed by the tender love that he was making to her, relishing the sensations that he was creating within her. Garren's heart swelled, knowing that she was fully giving herself to him in the most loving way possible, relinquishing her need to be in complete control.
He had made love to her before but there was something different this time. There was more of a willful submission in her actions as she allowed herself to give herself more wholly to him than she ever had before.
Cara dug her fingers deeply into the muscled planes of his back, his name finding her lips between gasps and moans. She never knew that love could be so tender and yet so passionate until Garren. She had believed that it was always about finding pleasure and nothing more. Now she knew that it could be so much deeper, more meaningful.
Panting heavily, Garren cried her name as they finally came together, each clinging to the other. Coming down at last, he rolled off of her, pulling her against him as he brushed her damp hair away from her face. She nuzzled his throat with her lips, savoring the feeling of being sheltered in his arms.
"Thank you, Cara," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion as he pressed his lips to her forehead.
"For what?"
"For finally allowing me the privilege of completely loving you."
"I thought I had before, but I guess I was always holding a small part of myself back so I would still have some sense of control," she ashamedly admitted. "I'm so sorry."
"There is nothing to be sorry for," he adamantly said, tightening his hold on her. "I know that this is all new to you and I don't care. I love you, Cara. We'll just find our way together."
"I love too," she said as she suddenly moved to straddle him. "But for now, it's my turn to show you just how much you mean to me," she practically purred as she leaned down to kiss him fully.
Garren groaned deeply, his heart beginning to pound with the excitement that she was already building within him. The sinful sound of her voice coupled with the heated look of lust in her eyes was nearly his undoing. He could hardly wait to see exactly what his new wife had in mind.
Sometimes it was good to allow his wife to be in control.
XXX
Pulling the pins from her hair, Kahlan ran her fingers through her thick curls, allowing them to fall about her face. The wedding today had been simple and private, but beautiful none the less. She was so happy that Garren and Cara could finally have a life together like she and Richard shared.
Kahlan's thoughts began to wander over the past couple of months as she started brushing her hair. So much had happened, so many painful things but some good. Darken Rahl was dead and D'Hara could finally return to the peace and prosperity that it'd only had a taste of when she and Richard had first started to rebuild the territory.
And it was finally spring now, the beginning of all things being made new again.
New starts. New journeys to take. New lives to begin together.
It had also been over two months since she had lost her Confessor's magic. The reminder caused her heart to sink again, the dark void inside of her where her magic had once lived seeming to ache a little more each day.
Setting down the brush, Kahlan took a deep breath, closing her eyes as her forehead creased in concentration on that mysterious place inside of her where her magic had once lived, waiting to be commanded.
She unconsciously bit her bottom lip, forcing herself to find some faint trace of her powers still hidden somewhere inside of her, some forgotten place that she had somehow missed the dozens of other times that she had tried and failed to find her magic still lingering somewhere within her.
Moments silently ticked by without even the faintest twinge of tingling within her. Kahlan abruptly gasped for air, her eyes flying open, suddenly realizing that she'd been holding her breath. She ran her tongue along her bottom lip, tasting the metallic hint of blood, not even realizing that she had bit her lip.
Looking down, she found her hands balled up tightly into fists, her knuckles turning white as her fingernails dug into her palms. She immediately released her hands, drawing slow breaths to calm her pounding heart.
Nothing. She had tried again and still had found nothing.
She wasn't certain why she continued to search for something that she knew had been taken from her. Maybe it was her way of trying to help in the search. Maybe it was her inability to accept that her magic was truly gone. Or maybe it was her refusal to accept that she was no longer the Mother Confessor.
Either way, it still left a dead hollow ache where something that she had born with now was gone, leaving her feeling less than her true self. She felt violated in a way that Richard could not fully understand though he tried his best.
She knew how frustrated he was with being unable to find the Quillian. She could see it in his eyes every time he looked at her. She had tried countless times to reassure him, but it was difficult when she was still trying to come to terms with it herself.
Huffing in frustration, she shoved aside her heartache as she made her way towards the other room, reminding herself that dwelling on something that could not be undone at the moment was a useless waste of time.
The sound of laughter unexpectedly floated from the nursery, instantly warming her heart. Coming to stand in the doorway, she found Richard sitting in his rocking chair, holding Paige up in front of him. He was balancing her little feet on his thighs as he helped her to stand up, his large hands wrapped around her small frame holding her so protectively.
The look of joy that filled him caused her lips to curl into a smile. She knew that even if she never got her magic back, she would always have this…have him and their family. She reminded herself that was all she truly needed in life.
Leaning against the doorframe, Kahlan watched as Paige reached for father's face, squealing when her tiny fingers touched the rough stubble on his jaw. He suddenly began to nibble ferociously at her fingers, eliciting another excited squeal. She couldn't restrain her own laughter at seeing the mighty warrior playing with his baby girl.
"Kahlan," he beamed as he suddenly noticed her. "Come see this."
The pride in her husband's voice was evident as she sat down beside him. She watched as Paige reached out for her father once more, her eyes wide as if anxiously anticipating the moment when he would try to eat her fingers again, and squealing once more when he finally did. Paige kicked her little legs, trying to bounce on his thighs as she smiled brightly for her mother, her tiny fist finding her mouth.
"Hi there, my baby girl," Kahlan cooed softly to her.
"Isn't she adorable?" he breathed in wonder, his eyes fixated on his little girl. "They're getting bigger every day."
"Yes, they are," she replied, her hand finding Richard's thigh and rubbing it affectionately. "I'm surprised Priya has managed to stay asleep with all that squealing," Kahlan commented, sitting up a little straighter to glance into her other daughter's bassinet.
"I think she's too tired from the day to notice," he replied, bringing Paige to his chest in an attempt to get her to sleep. "This one, on the other hand, is almost giddy with exhaustion."
"I'm sure she'll be asleep by the time you lay her down."
Standing up, Richard laid his daughter in her bassinet, pausing to stroke her black hair. Leaning down, he kissed her good night as her eyes already began to flutter closed. Coming to stand beside him, Kahlan slid her arm around his waist, laying her head on his shoulder as they watched their daughter as she finally surrendered.
Now that his girls were fast asleep, it was time to tend to their mother.
Turning, Richard wrapped his arms around her, kissing her deeply. Pulling back, he stared at her for a long moment, concern rising to the surface as he studied her.
"What?" she asked innocently.
"You've been trying to find your Confessor's magic again, haven't you?" he frowned, knowing the answer. He could taste the evidence of it on his tongue.
Kahlan lowered her eyes, ashamed that he had noticed as she ran her finger across her lower lip to erase any more blood. She didn't want him worrying about her or to know how deeply it still upset her to have lost her magic. A hand beneath her chin abruptly forced her to make eye contact.
"Kahlan…"
"I just keep thinking that maybe if I try hard enough I will find it, that maybe it's just some sort of spell meant to make me think that it's gone," she finally admitted.
"I'm so sorry, Kahlan," he replied with a sigh, his voice filled with regret. "I promised that I would get your magic back for you and I've let you down."
"No you haven't, Richard," she shook her head. "It's not your fault. You've done everything that you possibly can."
"I'm not about to give up. No, we haven't found it yet, but that doesn't mean that we never will," he told her. "There is nothing more important in my life than you and our girls."
Kahlan nodded, knowing that once her husband's mind was set there was absolutely no changing it. It was one of the many things that she loved about him. Reaching up, she brushed aside a strand of hair that had fallen across his brow, her fingers stroking the side of his face as she studied him.
"My strong, determined Seeker," she murmured, offering him the smile she saved only for him.
"Magic or no magic, you will always be my Confessor, Kahlan. Nothing can ever change that."
Gazing into her sad blue eyes, Richard noticed the fatigue that filled them, the paleness in her face. He hadn't noticed it earlier today, but then again, the day had been very full with the wedding and the celebration dinner.
"Are you alright?" he asked, brushing his knuckles along the side of her face.
"Just a little tired," she reassured him.
"Come, it's time I take of you now," he said, taking her hand in his and leading her from the nursery.
Pulling back the covers, Kahlan crawled into bed as Richard blew out the candles, leaving the room awash in the glow of the moon. Shadows danced across the bed as the wind blew tree limbs outside their window, thunder beginning to rumble. Rain fell against the windows as Richard climbed into bed next to her.
He snaked his arms around her slim frame, pulling her against him. She nestled into his embrace, burying her face in the crook of his neck. She drew a deep breath, inhaling his scent before kissing his throat, her hand resting on his chest. The steady thump of his heart beneath her palm created a sense of tranquility in her soul.
"I love you, Richard," she murmured, her body already giving into the fatigue that overwhelmed her.
"Forever, Kahlan," he softly replied.
Running his fingers through her hair, Richard had to admit that he was tired as well. It felt wonderful just lying here with Kahlan in his arms, her body half straddling his as she drifted off to sleep. They had all been through so much over the last few months. It had been nice to have something to really celebrate today.
As sleep began to tug at him as well, he was more than determined to make their future brighter, starting with Kahlan. She'd endured so much. He knew that losing her magic had affected more deeply than he truly understood, but he promised he would make it up to her one way or another.
XXX
She rubbed her eyes in an attempt to remove the fatigue that lingered there, but it was pointless. Sighing deeply, she took another sip of her tea instead before turning her attention back to the books and maps scattered before her.
She pulled a strand of hair out of the way, brushing it behind her ear as her gaze narrowed, her finger tracing the lines of a particular map that she had recently discovered in the old library. Every time she thought they had found all that there was, she managed to stumble across something else that could possibly provide another clue.
"What are you still doing up, my dear?"
A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips at the sound of the distinct grandfatherly voice that suddenly filled the vast room. He always had a way of making her feel cared about, an important part of their inner circle. Turning, she found the Wizard standing in the doorway.
"I was just looking over these books some more," Nicci sighed heavily. "I was hoping I could find something that we may have missed."
Making his way over to her, Zedd pulled out a chair, settling down beside her at the expansive table strewn with books and maps. His wiry eyebrows knitted together as he surveyed the newest additions to the collection they had already gathered.
He and Nicci had taken on the full weight of responsibility in the search for the missing Quillian. They had spent countless hours scouring through maps of the People's Palace, books that recorded any secret passages and corridors they had yet to discover. The area was immense to say the least. After two months, they had only been able to search a quarter of the Palace and its surrounding grounds.
"You should get some sleep, Nicci," Zedd commented as he watched her. "We can start back on this tomorrow morning."
"I know," she replied. "I was just hoping that I could find something in this book that I came across. One of Richard's ancestors makes mention of some hidden rooms on the north side of the Palace. Maybe Darken Rahl found out about it and had the Quillian hidden there."
"It's been over two months. I'm beginning to wonder if we'll ever find it," he sadly shook his head in regret.
"We can't give up yet, Zedd," Nicci resolutely stated, her gaze hardening. "Though she tries to hide it, I can see the sense of loss that Kahlan feels reflecting in her eyes. And I know not being able to get Kahlan's magic back for her is eating away at Richard."
"It's been very difficult," he admitted. "For so long, I could see the terrible struggle Kahlan felt being in love with Richard and yet not being able to share in that love with him. She has always taken her responsibilities as the Mother Confessor very seriously, knowing that she needed to put her duty over her heart.
"I was so thrilled for them when they had discovered that he couldn't be confessed by her. They could both have what they deserved more than any two people I know and Kahlan…well, she could finally fulfill her duties as Confessor while still being allowed to love her Seeker.
"Being the Mother Confessor means everything to her. It was what she was born to be, what she had been trained to do. She and Richard, their roles as Confessor and Seeker, had been prophesied thousands of years ago. Now that's been stolen from her. I can't begin to imagine her sense of loss, none of us truly can. It would be as if either one of us had been drained of all of our magic while still having responsibilities to fulfill."
"That's why I'm not giving up," Nicci firmly stated. "There's just something about all of this that has been bothering me since it happened."
"Like what?"
"I don't know," she huffed in frustration, falling back in her chair. "I just can't put my finger on it, but there is something more to this, something that I'm missing…"
