Chapter 2 Remember the Time
"Bonnie Bennett is ballet's breakout star, as we reported last week, she was just named the principal dancer by the American Ballet Theater, one of the three leading classical ballet companies in the country. Bennett is the second African-American principal after Misty Copeland and the youngest to be promoted in the company's 75 year history. She is here for her first interview since the announcement."
The news anchors, Charlie Rose and Norah O'Donnell, turned to me and beamed, "Bonnie, an enormous congratulations!"
I tried my best to smile gracefully, but the excitement of sitting down at my first televised interview couldn't be contained. Going through my embarrassing break up with Kai and being the current girlfriend of the New York Yankee with the best ass, Kol, I was of course asked questions by random paparazzi from time to time, but this was my first televised interview and it was all about me and my accomplishments. So as much as I wanted to come across as smooth, sexy, and over it, I couldn't! I'm sure I was grinning like the cheshire cat at the two CBS news anchors sitting across the table from me as clips of me dancing on stage played on the huge screens arounds us. "Thank you!"
"I know how much this means to you. You've worked so hard. It's incredibly hard just to become a principal dancer, but with all the symbolism attached to this, it's monumental!" Charlie Rose said.
I shook my head in disbelief. Although it'd been a week and a half since the announcement, it still didn't feel real. I'd been dancing since the time I was three, for the past twenty-four years, and everything I'd work so hard for over the years was coming into fruition. "It's very surreal and I say over and over again that I'm just standing on the shoulders of so many who have set this path for me; they may not have been seen or recognized or given an opportunity to have a voice, but I'm here representing all of those dancers. The Dance Theater of Harlem, Virginia Johnson, Tai Jimenez, Lauren Anderson… so it's been such an honor to be a principal dancer with the American Ballet Theater."
"We were so excited for you when this announcement came in," Norah O'Donnell began. "How did you celebrate?"
"Um, I actually haven't really celebrated yet… I found out in the middle of the week right before rehearsals. My phone was just exploding and people kept texting 'answer my calls!' but I'm like 'I can't, I'm dancing,'" I giggled. "Ya know you have to keep performing. We just ended our season last Saturday night and we usually get a two to three month break in the summer in between seasons, so once I go on vacation, I think it'll sink in."
"You know what I really love about your story is you really own this moment. What do you want people to see when they see you?"
I was trying my hardest not to let my eyes grow wide as they showed a clip of me dancing the sugar plum fairy in The Nutcracker from this past winter. Me!
"I want to set an example of what the future of dance holds. I think American Ballet Theater is setting that standard now for classical ballet. When I first started growing into a young lady, I was told I was too curvy and that my butt was too big to be a prima ballerina and here I am. You can dream big and it doesn't matter what you look like or where you come from or what your background is. That's the example I want to set and want to leave behind."
Five minutes later once the interview was over, my phone buzzed. I glanced down to see a text message from Caroline.
I'm kicking your ass once you get here. Followed by an angry face emoji.
I responded. Who, moi? What'd I do?
Not five seconds later was she calling me.
"Bonnie Sheila Bennett," she said when I answered the phone.
"Yes, Mom?"
"How come you didn't tell anyone you would be on CBS This Morning?!"
I winced. I figured once I told them, the interview would be up on youtube already and no feelings would be hurt. With everyone being so busy, I didn't think they'd actually have time to catch the live show. "How'd you find out?"
"Imagine my surprise when Jo calls and screams at me to turn on the television and I see my best friend sitting down for an interview," I can hear her moving around.
"I'm sorry, Care. Everything was so last minute. They and the other news programs have been trying to schedule an interview since the announcement, but I couldn't because there was always a conflict with rehearsals and meetings. You know I've been performing in the Black Swan these last several weeks. But now that the season ended on Saturday, my schedule's opened up. They contacted me last minute, early this morning around 6am asking if I could come in for an interview. It was only 3am your time when I knew I was sitting down; I know you didn't want me to text you at 3am."
"Whenever you appear on a nationally syndicated news program to discuss breaking history, I think it's ok to send out a mass text in the middle of the night," she pouted.
"Well, I have plenty of interviews scheduled for next week starting early Monday morning, so you'll have plenty of chances to watch, I promise." When she didn't say anything, I called her name to make sure we hadn't been disconnected. "Care?"
"I'm here… so I'm guessing you'll be leaving right after the wedding on Sunday night?"
"Yep, Kol booked me on the redeye so I can make it back in time."
"Of course he did."
Speak of the devil, I strolled out of the CBS Broadcast Center and spotted my fiancé standing outside of our private car waiting for me on the curb. I grinned. Once I got closer, he pulled me to him by the waist and pecked me on the lips.
"Care, I'm going to let you go… on my way to the airport," I said holding Kol's gaze.
"I'm surprised he's letting you out of his sight for the entire weekend."
That's because he wouldn't. I told him an incy wincy little lie about how Elena assured me Kai was on a business trip for the weekend and would only make it back in time for the wedding. He still wasn't happy about it but he accepted me going back to California to be Maid of Honor to my best friend. To be honest, I was relieved we were getting a few days a part. Things have been tense with him trying to control my friendships; he meant well, but having to defend my friends these past few weeks when I should be celebrating my biggest career move to date was stressing me out. A weekend with my girls was exactly what I needed.
"Are you and Elena still picking me up at the airport?"
"Yep, we'll do lunch and go shopping before the cocktail party tonight. I am going to make sure you are that bitch at every event. Kai won't know what hit him."
"Care…" I whined glancing over at Kol as if he could hear our conversation. No, my fiancé appeared to be scrolling down his news feed on instagram. By now we were in the backseat of our private car on our way to the airport.
"Call us when you land!"
"I will," I hung up the phone and focused my attention on Kol. Placing my hands on his lap, I scooted closer to him. "Hiya, handsome."
"Hello there, gorgeous," Kol looked up from his phone. "You did great in your interview."
Kol slept over at my place last night, so when I got the call from CBS This Morning asking if I could come on the show since there was a last minute cancellation, Kol woke up too. We figured it'd be best to leave straight for the airport from the interview, so Kol ordered a car service and we took my luggage along. Like the supportive fiancé he is, he coached me on how to answer questions on my way there, stood in the back during the interview and watched me go.
As a player for the Yankees, Kol was always giving interviews, and I was usually the one to accompany him and support from the sidelines, but today marked the first time the tables were turned. I couldn't believe I'd given my first televised interview.
"How're you feeling?"
"It still hasn't hit me…" I shook my head with a small laugh.
"Ah but this is only the beginning, sweetheart. You were so charming and relatable up there… You're going to be America's Sweetheart, I can feel it."
I laughed. "I'm just a dancer from a small town in Virginia. I'll leave that title to the Taylors and and Jennifer Lawrences of the world." Although I loved dance and happened to date a couple of prominent men along the way (Kai and Kol), the idea of being famous gave me indigestion. Kol was the opposite, he thrived off of attention. He would purposely book us dinner at the "hottest spots" in Manhattan knowing we'd get photographed by the paparazzi; he loved to attend red carpet events (galas, awards shows, etc.) and look at his picture the next morning on the blogs. Kol Michaelson was a "brand" as he liked to put it and was always looking for ways to expand and market himself. A part of me loved him for it; I found the business side of him to be very sexy, plus I loved getting dressed up and having my man show me off. Another part wanted no parts of that life. With attention comes critics and I've always been an extremely private person, especially when it comes to my love life.
With Kai, it was a little different. Although the Parkers were a prominent and recognizable family, they weren't paparazzi famous. Kai could go to the grocery store, the movies, and other places without all the cameras or teenaged girls asking for his autograph. Sure there were some [tacky] women who were ready to drop the panties even when I was there on his arm, but nothing crazy. One thing I noticed while dating Kai was that people that come from generational wealth and/or serious money generally don't like being in front of the camera. That's why these television companies find it so hard to cast the Real Housewives franchises with actual housewives with long money; the husbands didn't want their wives on television acting up for the cameras or calling the paparazzi on themselves—something I'd witnessed many of Kai's clients do.
I looked up at Kol and ran my hand through his soft chestnut brown hair grateful. While he did love the camera, he'd never been desperate enough to call the paparazzi or stage a publicity stunt in hopes of seeing his name splashed across every headline. No… my man just liked attention and I was ok with that.
"You are not just a dancer, darling," he playfully thumped my nose. "You are the youngest dancer to be promoted to principal at the best dance company in the country and you're the fiance of the hottest New York Yankee. We're going to be a power couple," he interlocked our fingers.
"Haha, move over Bey&Jay," I joked even though I knew he was at least half-serious. "What're you going to do while I'm gone?"
"Thank God."
I pinched him. He laughed. "I'm going to head home and get some rest before heading to the stadium. You know if we lose, it's going to be your fault, right?" The Yankees had three very intense games against their rivals, the Red Sox, today, tomorrow, and on Sunday.
"Mine?"
"Yea… you're my good luck charm."
You see why I love this man? Why Luke, Liv, Caroline and Elena wanted me to get back with Kai, the heartbreaker, I could not fathom. In response, I leaned up and placed a kiss on Kol's lips.
A six and a half hour flight later, I was back in L.A.. I tried to ignore the feeling that rose in my stomach once I realized I was in the same city as Kai.
First up on the list of events was Damon&Elena's chic-yet-laidback engagement cocktail party to kick off the weekend. I didn't know until we were on our way to go shopping that the party was also in celebration of Kai&Damon buying out another popular talent agency. The news struck me like lightning for a few reasons. 1) When I first started dating Kai, he was already a pretty powerful movie agent in Hollywood, but he was working under someone else at another talent agency. Eventually, he and Damon, his best friend and frat brother from undergrad, put their money together and made a deal to partner to set up their own agency, DK Talent Agency; Kai would always quip it sounded like the name of an STD. It started out as a small boutique with a few other agents working alongside them, but quickly grew into a Hollywood powerhouse due to their shrewd business sense and A-list clientele. I knew Kai had dreamed about growing his agency even more and I was ecstatic he was doing everything he said he was going to do. 2) It made me sad that I wasn't there to see the look on his face when he heard the news and finalized the deal. I knew he was on a high right now and wanted to enjoy it with him. Despite our break up, I only wanted the best for him… sometimes I wished I did hate him; maybe then letting go of him would be easier.
No, hate isn't the word I would use to describe the feelings I have for my ex-boyfriend; however, it is a word I would use to describe my current emotions for Caroline and Elena, who were trying to get me into a long flowing marigold dress with a plunging neckline that required me to go braless and a sllit that went up "to there".
"Uh uh, y'all. My titties are out. Kol would kill me."
"Kol isn't here and I think you look stunning!" Elena stood back and looked me over.
"But aren't your parents going to be there, Elena?" I couldn't go in front of the Gilberts with my breasts out!
"Yea but they know you're a woman. It's not like you're naked," Elena shrugged.
"I don't know, guys," I looked myself over in the mirror at Caroline's house.
Then Caroline just had to chime in. "It's not like you're nervous or anything, is it? Because I know you're not concerned with looking good for anyone in particular, right? Right, Bon Bon?"
"I'm concerned with hearing my fiancé's mouth once he sees the pictures you guys post on instagram or whatever."
"Oh please, Bonnie. Just be honest with us. You want to make sure you look good for the first time you see Kai again because you still have feelings and care what he thinks about you. If you didn't, you wouldn't still talk to him," she raised a brow while applying her lipstick.
Why had I ever told them that?
Ok. So I know I said I hadn't seen Kai in almost a year, and that's true, but I have talked to him some. Around 4 months after we'd broken up and I'd moved, he started calling again. Coincidentally (or maybe not so coincidentally), it was around the time I started letting my guard down around Luke and when Kol and I were beginning to become serious. I didn't think I'd ever talk to him again and I was ok with that—I was very hurt and angry after our break up—but one night he called around 3am my time, 12am his.
"B…"
Half-asleep, I whispered, "Kai?" My heart started racing and I sat up in bed. "Is everything ok?"
"Everything's fine… I just needed to hear your voice."
"Have you been drinking?" I could always sense what state of mind he was in, even thousands of miles away on the other side of the country.
"Maybe…"
That would be a yes. "Why are you calling me, Kai? I have to go."
"Wait! Please, Bonnie. I need to talk to you… is someone else there with you? Is Kol there?"
I made a mental note to kill Luke's big mouthed ass. He was the only person out of mines and Kai's mutual group of friends who knew at the time. "It's none of your business, Kai." Fortunately, Kol wasn't there or this could have turned into a completely different situation. "How do you figure you have the right to ask me if someone else is over here after what you did to me? You've got your nerve."
"You two aren't having sex are you? Were you still sleeping with him while we were together?"
"Goodfuckingbye, Malachai! Don't call me—"
"No! Wait! Bonnie! I'm sorry. Baby… I'm sorry. I know you'd never do that. I'm shitfaced right now… I'm drunk, and I need to hear your voice. Bonnie? Don't hang up, I just want to hear your voice…" he breathed. As angry as I was, I couldn't bring myself to hang up on him like I probably should have. He wouldn't call me out of the blue just to bitch about me dating someone else and Malachai Parker rarely—if ever—apologized. He really sounded sad and God help me, I missed hearing his voice.
"I was thinking about you today, B. Not just today… I think about you all of the time. I miss you. I miss you so fucking much, baby, come home."
I shuddered. Kai wasn't usually this open with his feelings.
"I know you're probably sitting there rolling your pretty green eyes, but it's true. I'm off with you not here. Sybil's around, but she's not you."
I froze at the mention of that she-devil.
"She's not the same. I can't talk to her the way I talk to you, I don't have fun with her, her body's not your body. She's just not you, B. With her, it's just sex. That's all it ever was, I promise."
"Kai, stop," I whispered. Closing my eyes, I tried to will away the memories of our painful breakup. Finding out the way I did. The humiliation that ensued shortly after. "I don't want to do this, ok? I can't…" I'd spent the past four months getting over him and building a new life here in New York, and it was all going to shit with this phone conversation.
"I can't, B. I've been sitting here in your favorite chair thinking about us. Remember that time I got you to smoke? When we got the munchies and binged out on cheesecake and pork rinds?"
Of course I did. It was at the very beginning of our courtship; I used to get so nervous around him and sharing a blunt with him marked the first time I felt relaxed around him.
"B… Bon? Remember? Remember, B?"
"Yes, I'm here."
"I was also thinking about when Damon and I started up the agency and I came home and you gave me a lap dance and did the splits—"
"Kai…" I wanted to scream for him to stop, but it felt good to hear that he remembered these things too. That I wasn't the only one who thought about our past.
"Remember when you, Liv, and your other dancer friends had rehearsals at my place, because they were doing construction at the dance studio on campus and you needed somewhere large enough to practice? Remember that, B? I came home and saw you giving orders and choreographing your routines… I never told you this, but I thought you were so sexy, standing there in your leotard telling everyone what to do even though you were the shortest."
"You did tell me. You pulled me into the bedroom and told me while everyone was downstairs," I bit my lip at the memory of him pounding into me as he pinned me against the wall, my legs around his waist.
"Had to make sure you were listening." I could almost see him wink. "Remember when we fought that first time, baby? I was on a business trip and you got drunk at one of those stupid college parties and when I called, I got mad because I heard that bitch in the background?"
I remembered that weekend perfectly. Kol and Jeremy decided to visit us for the weekend; I got drunk and Kol took care of me. When Kai called, he heard Kol in the background and lost it even though nothing happened. It was when I first realized Kai felt just as deeply about me as I did about him and we became exclusive. I remembered how giddy I felt that I got to call him my boyfriend.
"I was so heated that morning, B. It was when I realized I loved you. No girl had ever made me that mad before… Remember when we first met? When Luke&Liv brought you home to spend the holidays with us and you tripped and fell into my arms?"
He was killing me. How did this fool remember all of this as drunk as he was?
"All I saw was thick curly hair covering my vision and when I pulled back, I had these wide green eyes staring up at me. I thought you were so beautiful."
I held back my snort. He certainly didn't make me feel beautiful that day. Instead, he made some smart alleck-y comment about how it was ok if I tripped, because it wouldn't be a long fall since I was so short.
"I thought it was too obvious, staring at you and all, so I had to be a smart ass and make a sarcastic joke," it was as if he read my mind. "I know what you're thinking, Bonnie," he confirmed. "I can tell. You know me and I know you. Sometimes, it feels like you're in my head, you know? You even knew when I started lying to you… remember? And even when I pissed you off, you always took me back. I didn't always do right by you, Bon, and I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you… but you know me. You know I don't love Sybil. I miss you so fucking much, baby… please, come home. Bonnie? You there?"
Is it possible to feel your heart breaking? I didn't think there was anything else left to break, but apparently I was wrong. Why did he have to go and fuck everything up? We were so happy! This was the man I thought I was going to marry, the man whose children I would bare, the man I would spend the rest of my life with.
"I'm here, Kai… Kai… look, we're not together anything more. I need to tell you something."
He grew silent. I listened to him breathe until he said quietly, "You're in a relationship with him, aren't you?"
In my fantasies, when I pictured telling him this, I was smirking and doing an evil laugh at the end. But now… I wanted to cry. "Yes."
"Baby, no. Why?"
"Because you ruined us, Malachai! You… you broke me. You made me leave, you made me build a new life here, you made me find someone else! Now that I've finally glued the pieces back together, I'm not going to let you break me again!"
That was our first post-breakup conversation. The next time we talked was after Kol and I got engaged.
"B. Why? Wh—" his voice cracked and he stopped talking. We were both breathing heavily.
"For the first time since we've broken up, I feel happy again, Kai. I'm happy. Kol makes me happy. Let me be happy," again, I was on the verge of tears.
"Ok. Fine. I have a few questions for you though. Just a few questions and then I'll leave you alone," he began to sound more like sober Kai.
"Are you really happy, Bon? Does he make you happy like I do? Does he bring a smile to your face every time you think of him? Does he make your heart race? Does he give you that giddy feeling that you give me? Does he make you feel like a queen, Bonnie? Better yet, like you're his world? Because that's what you deserve, baby. Nothing less. Does he put you first? Would he stop the world from spinning if he could just to put a smile on your face?"
All of Kai's questions shook me to my core and I was speechless. It didn't matter if I didn't answer, because like he said, he always knew what I was thinking. Could sense my thoughts the way I could sense his. And then he hung up. He didn't need to hear what he already knew.
"Bonnie? Earth to Bonnie?" Caroline waved a manicured hand in front of my face. "Where'd you go?"
Dazed, I looked around. "Nothing… just thinking about something."
"Mhmm. I know exactly where your mind was," she smirked.
"Shut up."
"I'm just teasing you. Let's all have fun because this is Elena's last weekend as a single woman!" the blonde handed both of us violet colored shots. Ahhhh yes, liquid courage, just what my sanity prescribed. I raised my glass to her and Elena and knocked it on back.
Then almost fell over.
"What the fuck was that?!" I felt like I'd swallowed fire.
"Oh ya know… a little of this, a little of that… got your mind off Kai, didn't it?"
As much as I hated to admit it, it actually did work and after another shot of Caroline's concoction, I was actually looking forward to the cocktail party.
When our uber pulled in front of the beach where the party was at, I even got excited. I was ready to part-ay.
Author's Notes: Whew... I finally figured out how to leave notes. I just wanted to thank everyone that took the time to read and/or leave reviews. Even though I've read and reviewed numerous stories on here, this is my first time actually posting a story on the website, so I was quite surprised with the number of views and the extremely sweet and motivating reviews! Thank you so much! Hope you all had a happy thanksgiving and great weekend :).
