Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

Chapter 2: Asking for permission

Jasper's POV

I still sat there in the forest for about an hour but soon I remembered why I hadn't killed myself yet. My family was at home, my love was at home. Even through I didn't want to see their faces starring at me in shock and disbelieve, I had to see them. Make sure they are okay. In my human life it had happened often enought, that I came to the camp and somebody was missing. I raced faster through the forest my mind focused on my love.

Then finally I came home. They must have heard me run up the driveway because all of them were outside. I went straight to Alice and kissed her lightly on the forehead. I knew she tried to act happy but acually the was really scared for me.

"Sorry", I said, "can we go inside?" After the whole family had stepped inside the living room, I had already made my decision. I wanted to be a good vampire, as human as possible.

"Well, as you all know I have...some problems with our diet. And I want to stop these problems. The killing. I go to Hightschool everyday but it doesn't seem as if this is enough to practise my selfcontrol. So I thought about how I could learn better."

They all looked at me in different ways. Carlisle and Esme were concerned, Edward was curious, Emmet impressed and Rosalie loked as if she wasn't paying attention. But what gave me hope were Alice's eyes. They were full of love and trust. They gave me the strength to carry on.

" I think nobody can deny that of everyone in this room Carlisle has the greatest selfcontrol. And where did he get it? In a hospital. Around blood and humans. That's a challenge. And I'd like to take this challenge. I want to practise this."

Emmet's mouth hung open. I would have laughed if the situation hadn't been so serious.

"If you didn't get it by now, I want to work as a Junior Doctor at the hospital..."

Suddenly the emotions came over me like the rain in a storm. I couldn't take it. "Stop that!", I nearly screamed. They all were silent instantly.

I looked directly at Carlisle now.

"Would you take me as a doctor's assistant?" I asked him silently.

He hestaited at first. Deep in thought many emotions came from him. Then he had a pokerface.

" Do you really want this?" I was just about to answer him when Esme said: "You don't have to play hero. We love you as you are." She walked up to me and hugged me.

I hugged her back, then said: " But I really do want this. You don't know how it is, when you feel the emotion coming from somebody who is abou to die. There is fear, sadness, pain. With killing a human I kill a part of my human side. You can't know how this feels." I had starred at the floor while saying this but now I looked in Carlisle's eyes.

"Do you take me?"

Carlisle started to say something and this time he seemed to be sure if he should say yes or no.

He he cliffy. This chappie is for gazlover12 my first reviewer and I hope she won't be the last, so remember the is a little button with "review" on it. Click it and see what happens.