Two.

Burt's face scrunched with the realization that he'd been driving for hours, and had yet to get anything to eat. So, he pulled off into the left lane towards a wonderfully large sign that read, "Rest Stop", with obnoxiously large font. He heard Finn cheer behind him, "FOOD!", as he spared a glance into the rearview mirror and caught Kurt as he scrunched his nose. Possibly with the thought of grease or something of those sorts, Burt could never quite know with his boy.

"Tell me again why I agreed to this family trip, instead of a nice, comfortable, plane ride?," he asked his wife as he pulled into the parking lot.

She turned with a sweet, but sharp smile, as she responded, "Because you know I hate flying, and your son asked for a family trip. We both thought the Mall of America to be a great destination, I recall your agreeing, didn't you?"

Although hunger was clouding his thoughts, he knew nodding and smiling was his best bet to get a slice of deliciously greasy pizza, so he did so, before finally heading towards the food court entrance.

His thoughts came to a screeching halt once upon walking into what he smelt to be a mini-mecca of greasy food, he saw a young boy leering at his boy.

"Oh no," groaned Burt as he saw his son immediately zone in on the perv. What else could he be?, thought Burt, to be looking at his son that way. Kurt muttered how he'd be heading to the bathroom, as he tried to slip away towards 'the perv,' whom was heading in that direction.

"Not so fast," Burt growled as he grasped Kurt's arm and pulled Finn away from sniffing at the pretzel display, "go with Kurt to the bathroom, don't want you two getting into any trouble."

Kurt grimaced and remarked, "'This is exactly why I told Carole not to let you watch lifetime with her," with a sniff, as he still managed to squirm out of Burt's hold to get a headstart before Finn could clumsily follow his brother-from-another-mother.

As they turned the bathroom entrance corner and left his sight, Burt visibly slumped as he rubbed his face and removed his ever present baseball cap. Carole rubbed his arm consolingly as she barely managed to cover her smile before saying, "You really need to relax Dear, you're going to give yourself an ulcer with how much you worry over Kurt, despite knowing he's more than capable of caring for himself."

"You say that now, but he's far too innocent for the likes of that kind of a relationship. I could of sworn we agreed he wouldn't start dating until he was out of college."

"Sure dear," Carole patted his arm as she lead him towards the cafeteria, "Now let's try to see if this place has anything remotely healthy for you." Burt groaned as her sentence trailed off, and he lagged behind her while she dragged him along.

He knew this family trip was going to be crazy, he just didn't think his kid would be the one driving him crazy in the mean time!