Slept crept up on him and took him. For a few moments, the past faded away. Unfortunately, the nightmares came and distressed him. He dreamt he was at the top of Mount Doom. Except of clasping on the edge for dear life above a river of lava, he was above a black hole of darkness sucking him in. He heard the cries of the dead and the wailing of familiar voices. The ring was around his neck on the chain that held it. The ring became heavier and heavier. Frodo's grasp weakened. He was slipping because of the extra weight the ring laid upon him. He tried to scream for help, but no sound came out. His hand finally slipped and as he was about to fall in, he awoke in a hot sweat. He could hear his heart beat in his ears. He was afraid to fall asleep again, thinking another nightmare would come and rob him of sleep. He sat and shivered in the dark waiting for the morning to come. The darkness was seemed so much more intense to Frodo than it would to any ordinary person. It was cruel, frigid, and mean. Fear overcame him. He felt like he was trapped and could not escape. He choked out sobs. He wished this perilous journey of dealing with the repercussions from the ring would stop. He could live in peace. Live in the Shire and carry on with life as it had been before Bilbo had left. A life so familiar to him he could envision it. Friends all around Hobbiton, plenty of food that would satisfy his hunger, the warmth he felt being at his one true home. All he felt now was solitude and sadness. He knew solitude better than he knew the back of his hand. He was used to it. But he never expected to feel so alone. More alone than he had ever felt. His silent sobs grew louder. They escaped his throat without permission. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Mr. Frodo? Are you okay? Are you hurt? What in the world 're ye doing out in the forest in the middle of the night? Ye should be home."
Sam had found him. He had been coming home from a night at the Green Dragon. He was a little tipsy and had wandered into the forest where he heard the sound of someone crying. He followed his ears until he came upon Frodo curled up beneath the stars, choking sobs between breaths. Frodo sniffled and wiped his eyes.
"Oh Sam. It's you." Frodo turned to face his friend. Sam's eyes were droopy, the effects from drinking one too many ales. His hands twitched slightly.
"What 're ye doing out here? Ye never answered my question." Sam said slurring the tiniest.
"I always come out here. You know that. You've caught me here other times." Frodo replied trying to sound pleasant.
"That doesn't explain why you were crying" Sam said easing to the ground beside Frodo.
"I…I just…was thinking about everything…you…me…the journey. I owe you so much Sam and I doubt I'll ever repay that debt. You've cared for me in so many ways I can't count them. You always check up on me. You're always there…always…and when you are…I don't feel as alone as I usually do…Life doesn't seem…" Frodo couldn't finish that sentence. He felt so guilty and vulnerable. He had never told Sam how much he ever meant to him. That part of him he couldn't find words to describe it. He feared the idea that Sam would reject him if he revealed that much to him. He couldn't deal with life without Sam. The idea of it was unbearable. Sam brought slight happiness to his dreary life. He always kept his feelings a secret. Bottled up, hoping Sam might someday tell him he felt the same way. Sam had shifted his attention to the moon. He was so mesmerized by the bold, luminous object in the sky.
"You ever wonder how small everything is? I mean all of us. I mean we hobbits are small anyway compared to the big folk but I mean compared to up there. We're the smallest of small. " Sam glanced at Frodo. He took note of the way Frodo's locks fell slightly over his eyes. The way his blue eyes reflected the light. Sam was always sure of his love for Frodo. Friendship sure. But this was more than friendship love. This was a greater love for him. A passionate one. Everything about Frodo was perfect. He needed Frodo to understand that his problems made him feel needed. They gave him hope that Frodo needed him and couldn't exist without him. Frodo kept expressing to Sam that it was necessary to get on with his life and let him be. But he just couldn't. For Sam, that would be letting go of everything he held near and dear to his heart. Frodo needed to understand that he was his life. Frodo was looking at the moon now.
"I think Gandalf knew you could handle the task of the ring. He knew you were strong and could bear the heavy burden. Ye know, you are the strongest person I know. I could've never done anythin' like that. If I wasn't under your windowsill, I would've still been in Hobbiton going on as life was. I never had any courage to do nothin'. But you gave me bravery to get out of the Shire." Sam said sincerely. Frodo smiled and turned to Sam.
"Sam, do you think I could have gone all the way to Mordor and back without you? You kept me from going astray. The ring was taking me and you kept me from being overtaken by it." Frodo put his hand on Sam's shoulder. "You did just as much work my dear friend. Never forget that." Frodo leaned and gently kissed the top of Sam's head. Sam blushed the slightest. They both sat in front of the river looking up at the moon, heads rested against one another. One thought crossed Frodo's mind while he was enjoying the company of Samwise.
I'm home.
