A/N: Hi readers of mine who I like to think exist! I was hoping this chapter would be longer, but it isn't…ah well. Hopefully, I will be able to update fairly regularly (I have about half the story written right now) and you will be able to forgive me for this. Also: I know this is bad. But my first story, "A Little Fall of Strange"…was WORSE. So hopefully I am improving. And if you think I stink at writing humor…I tried seriousness. I REALLY REALLY TRIED. But it was terrible and just plain depressing. So…yeah this is a really long author's note again so farewell.

Chapter 1: In Which Fantine is dead for unknown reasons and Valjean is found out by Javert.

A LOT OF YEARS LATER

FANTINE: (pitifully) Take my child, Monsieur le Maire...take care of her...please...oh, if only I could have lived to see her again! My poor Cosette...

VALJEAN: But I want to stay in this town, where everybody thinks I'm so handsome that they automatically made me mayor.

FANTINE: But...I'm dying. And, um, it's kinda your fault.

VALJEAN: Fine, whatever. I think people were starting to get suspicious of the fact that I should be at least fifty-seven and only look twenty-three anyway. But I don't wanna take care of your kid. Hey, I know! I'll just turn you into a vampire and then you can do it.

FANTINE: Oh, Monsieur, thank you! How can I-wait, what? AUGHHHHHHH! THAT HURTS! OWIE OWIE OWIE!

JAVERT: (enters awesomely) Aha! Valjean! I always suspected you were a vampire, but now I have proof!

VALJEAN: What? I'm not a vampire! Where did you get that impression?

JAVERT: I deduced it from the fact that you were BITING this woman on the NECK.

VALJEAN: Aaaaaaaah. Well, I can explain-

JAVERT: NO! I DON'T WANT YOU TO EXPLAIN! I AM A VAMPIRE HUNTER AND I WANT TO KILL A VAMPIRE! But first, let's sing an epic duet.

VALJEAN: Sure, okay.

EPIC DUET: (is sung)

EPIC DUEL: (is performed)

VALJEAN: (wins Epic Duel, but)

FANTINE: (is killed. Somehow)

JAVERT: (is knocked out)

VALJEAN: Gosh darn it! I'm going to have to raise this stupid kid myself! (exits)

'ello again! It's another episode of "Fanfiction in Nature" with another trick of the fanfictioner to get you to review.

#2. The threat

A/N: I will not post another chapter until I have TEN MILLION REVIEWS! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Good golly, mates! If she wants to get the rest of this thing posted in her lifetime, she better aim lower! I bet we can convince her to update pretty soon…I hope so! If not, farewell and we'll never see you again on "Fanfiction in Nature"!