"This is serious, stop joking around!" screeched Jess from my mouth, upper lip not shaven. "This had nothing to do with us drinking last night during True American, we switched bodies! I woke up in your cave that you call a room, Nicolas! Do you know how frightening that was? I may never be able to sleep in the dark ever again! Seriously how do you sleep in there?"
I couldn't help but laugh, seriously this is the weirdest dream I've ever had, but it seemed more complicated than the usual hormone driven ones Sleeping Nick likes to have, which makes Awake Nick have awkward and terrible mornings with his morning-lover roommate.
That's usually why he slept so late, other than working late at the bar, he couldn't stand seeing such an innocent face after having such dirty dreams, it was like being attracted to your best friend's younger sister, just not right.
I shook the thoughts out of my head as I imagined Jess as a cute little sister. This may be a dream, but let's at least keep it on track, Jesus.
"Oh Jessica this is just like you, trying to be a know-it-all, even in my dreams," I shook my head at her. "You know what, this in depth dream must be because I'm such a good writer, which I can attribute to my genius imagination. Did you know Twilight was written after a dream... imagine how much better this story would sell! We make out then I wake up in your bed.. as you!"
"Oh please Nick you would probably manage to write three sentences, then procrastinate ten more years," she spat at me. "And this isn't a dream it's actually happening! Could you please just focus for two seconds?"
I intended to chuckle but all that came out was Jess's girly giggle.
"Okay, it's seriously weird to get scolded by myself, but I might as well listen to whatever plot line this dream is going for," I said, turtle facing. "Lay it on me lady-man."
Jess slapped me in the face with my own hand, "This isn't a dream you big JERK!"
I touched my face that stared back at me, showing true emotion.
"How did this happen?" I said with my Jess voice. "Did a meteor hit the earth or something?"
"I don't know Nick," she said as she enveloped me in a worried hug, "What are we going to do?"
I patted her back.. or my back.. I don't know, as she pulled away giving her a solemn smirk.
Trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere of a girl who was worried she would now spend the rest of her life shaving her face instead of her legs, I slyly thought aloud, "Man, I did think these looked a little too real," taking another peek under the floral pajamas I was wearing, before getting pummeled, in typical Jess fashion.
"Hey! Stop it, Jessica! You're a lot stronger now that you're in my body!" I yelled as Jess stopped my beating for a second.
"Oh yeah you're right, oops," she chuckled, scratching at her growing facial hair.
As we both calmed down a bit, we made our way awkwardly into the living room and sat on opposite sides of the couch. We just stared at each other, what a weird feeling to be able to look at yourself from the outside for so long.
Finally, Jess broke the silence.
"You know, maybe this happened because we broke the universe."
"What?" I laughed, "This isn't some stupid low budget SyFy movie Jess."
"No I mean, like what if we made this happen," she looked at me with honest eyes, "maybe we were never supposed to kiss last night and now we're being punished."
I looked at her intensely, did she really hate me kissing her that much? That she thought it broke the world? And we needed to be punished? Hell, she kissed me back! It takes two to play tonsil hockey, after all.
I shook my head at her, " you know what let's worry about that later, we need to get dressed and cleaned up just in case somebody comes home."
"Are you just trying to look at my boobs again," she looked at me disapprovingly.
"Maybe," I joked as I skipped away, back into Jess's flowery room.
"MILLER!"
