Time was dragging on slowly. Minutes turned into long hours, but Jack didn't move away from the make-shift bed where Gwen was. The machines were monotonously humming around him, the noise would have lulled anyone into a short sleep, except for Jack. He wasn't one for sleep, and even if he had been hell-tired, he couldn't doze off now. The upsetting thoughts of this broken woman on the sofa were keeping him awake, wondering what might have happened to her.
Supporting his head with his hands, he was just watching her, studying her features, his heart breaking everytime he discovered another tiny sign of pain on her pretty, yet distressed face. He could tell that even in sleep she was fighting those demons inside, which were hindering her from resting. He wished he could reassure her, but he was helpless. If her sorrow had to do with Rhys, he couldn't do anything. She wouldn't let him either.
If Rhys had hurt her, he swore he d make Mr Williams pay for that. Big time. And he wouldn t be a gentleman.
No one, ever, could get away with causing pain to Gwen, Jack had resolved long ago. However, he broke this rule at times, he realized, and was terribly ashamed and hurt for that. Yet he always paid his dues in form of enormous guilt and ache in his heart. He could have smacked himself every time he mistreated her, but that would have been an easy way to get away with it. The torture by remorse was adequate punishment to his soul, never ridding himself of regret. Everything he had done to her would accompany him all the way in his long life. Decades, centuries, whatever. He would never forget. She meant too much to him.
Too much, he sighed. He hadn't expected to feel this way. He had known that she was someone special when he had revealed the secrets of Torchwood to her, but his team consisted of special people after all. Yet as time passed by, he realized she always would be an extraordinary member for him. And it scared him. He hadn't expected her to become so very dear to him. It was wrong. She had to lead a normal life as much as possible, he didn't have the right to influence that more than necessary.
Gwen stirred, and her body shook under the blanket. Jack was there beside her immediately, checking her temperature. Her skin was more cold than hot though. He rubbed her back, which seemed to calm her as the tremor was subsiding a little. Her fingers clutched at his arm, whimpering in her disturbed sleep.
"Shhh, everything is okay," Jack soothed her, though he was sure she didn't hear him. He sat down, pulling her head into his lap. "I'm here," he stroked her hair gently. "I'm here," he whispered into the night air of the Hub, leaning back on the sofa.
Gwen's tremble easing, her grasp on Jack loosened. Her demons might have sensed Jack's protective care and backed off. Her breathing calming, she sank back into the heart and soul-healing, deep sleep, while Captain Jack Harkness was guarding her dreams.
