Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. Love. Love. Love to you all. Also, a sidenote. I'm having surgery Friday, so updates are gonna come as I feel up to it.

Dedicated to Laura for everything she went through last summer. ILTY, Florida. ;)
And to Rachel because she's helped me map out soooooo much of this story. Nexus FTW.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.


It had taken the better part of a week for the weather to clear and the ground to soften enough for a burial. Most of Bozeman had shown up for the graveside service for Lauren Monroe. Lindsay Messer sat beside her sixteen year old niece as the wind whipped at Blake's long blond hair and bit at her nose. The preacher stood beside the casket as he tried to speak over the wind, but even sitting in the front row, she could only catch every few words of the 23rd Psalm.

Tears pooled in Blake Monroe's brown eyes as she picked at her chapped lips. The prayers and sympathies blended together and she fought the urge to scream out at the world. Gripping her Aunt's hand as if it was the only thing that could hold her to the ground and the heel of her cowboy boots digging into the mud as the preacher said the final prayer. As 'amen' escaped his lips, Blake's fingers slipped from Lindsay's as she took off across the cemetery toward the highway.

"Blake!" Lindsay called after her as Jake Monroe chased after his daughter and Lindsay chased after him.

It was haunting how much Blake echoed Lindsay's response to death. As Lindsay ran down the same path she had taken all those years ago, she almost felt like she was still that broken sixteen year old girl trying to out run the demons. She watched from a few yards away as Blake stumbled to the ground and scrape her knees on the loose gravel. The young girl's head tilted back and she screamed at the heavens, "Take me too! God, just take me too! I don't want to be here!"

Jake Monroe knelt next to his little girl and wrapped his arms around her, "No, Baby, you have to be here."

"I want him to take me too!" Blake fought against her father's grip and threw a handful of gravel at the ravine where her mother had left the earth, "I want my mom! I want my mom!"

Lindsay knew those words all too well. She knew the survivors guilt; she still felt the guilt of surviving in the pit of her stomach. She'd give up anything to take that pain away from Blake, she'd give anything to give Blake her mother back. Slipping her winter coat from her shoulders, she knelt next to them and wrapped it around Blake's shoulders, "Look at me."

"No." She whimpered and stared at her scraped up hands.

"Blake Lynn Monroe," Lindsay tilted her chin up, "Look at me. God didn't take you for a reason, Baby, it's not your time to go. I know you miss your Mama but it's not your time to go."

She fell into Lindsay and sobbed against her chest, "I want it to be, I want it to be. I needed her! I want her back, Aunt Lindsay. I want my Mommy."

"I know you do, Blake, I know you do." Lindsay pressed kisses to the golden blond hair as they stayed there until their legs went numb from the cold snow. The gray sky was threatening to dump more snow to the frozen earth and still they knelt there, huddled together as Blake cried. Finally, Aaron Monroe's old black Ford pulled up beside them and Jake lifted Blake into the truck before the siblings slid in. Blake reach across her father and took her aunt's hand as the heater warmed them to the core.

People had gathered at the Monroe Ranch and Blake stared at the house, not wanting to go inside. Without a word, Lindsay wrapped an arm around Blake and lead her to the back door, through the kitchen and up the back stairs to her old room. Blake traded the funeral outfit for a pair of flannel pajamas and thick socks before curling into a ball on the bed and drifting off to a fitful sleep.

Lindsay pulled off her worn leather cowboy boots and padded down the hallway to the guest room. Tossing the boots in the corner, she changed into her jeans and old Montana State hoodie before curling up on her own bed. She grabbed the cellphone off the nightstand and dialed Danny's number.

"Hey, Baby." He sounded out of breath and tired, "How goes it?"

"Blake just completely freaked out." Lindsay couldn't fight the tears any longer and she hugged her pillow to her chest, "She's so much like me that it's scary."

"Montana," She heard a chair scrape on the floor and she imagined him at work and his fingers tracing over the latest picture of Lucy that littered his desk, "she's gonna be okay. She's a Monroe and if there is one thing that I know about Monroes, it's that they're as tough as nails."

"Yeah," Lindsay chuckled and wiped her tears on the cuff of the sweatshirt, "Look, Danny, I don't know what Jake's planning on doing but if-"

"If your brother would like for Blake to come stay with us for a little bit then that's more than okay with me." He informed her, "She's family, Montana. Whatever you can do for family, you do."

"I love you." And for the first time that day, she actually gave a smile.

He chuckled, "I love you too, Mrs. Messer."

Jake Monroe stood outside the room where his little girl was grieving the loss of her mother. There was no handbook on what to do when your wife dies before her time. He wished there was some magic thing that he could say to his daughter to ease the pain that she was feeling but there was none. His head drooped against the door and he placed his palm flat against it when he felt his father's hand on his shoulder, "Dad?"

"She's gonna be okay, Jacob." Aaron Monroe patted his son on the back, "It wasn't that long ago that we were standing like this with your sister on the other side of the door."

"I know." Jake turned and slid to sit against door, "sometimes Blake is so much like Linds that it scares me. I mean, she's my daughter but damned if she isn't my little sister all over again."

"Yeah,"Aaron sat next to him, "but Lindsay was always the miniature version of you, Jake. You're not all so different from each other."

"What do I do, Pops?"

"Remember when the girls were murdered?" Aaron spoke of the unspeakable topic in the Monroe home, "Lindsay went to stay with your Aunt and Uncle in Arizona for the rest of the summer. It didn't make everything all better, but it gave her a chance to find her footing. Let Blake find her footing."

"Footing." Jake sighed.

"You lost someone, Jake. So did your daughter." He explained, "You both need to work through your grief. The question you have to ask yourself is if you can allow yourself to grieve without asking your daughter to grow up too fast."

"Thanks, Dad." Jake sighed and stood before helping his father up, "I'm gonna go talk to Blake and see if we can find out where she wants to gain her footing. Have Ma put back a couple of plates for us?"

"Sure." He clapped his son on the back before heading down the stairs.

Jake stared at the brass knob for a long moment before he let himself into the room. Blake was curled up in the blankets with her back to the door as she stared out the window. He padded softly across the floor and sat down beside her, "Hey, B."

"Hey, Daddy." She sniffled and wiped at her tears, trying to get herself to stop in his presence, "I'm sorry for freaking out. That was selfish of me. I know. I'm sorry."

"Blake, stop." Jake took her hand and wiped her tears with his free hand, "You lost your mother, Honey, you're allowed to grieve. You're allowed to cry and scream until you can't cry and scream no more. I don't want you to think you have to be strong for me."

"I... just," Blake fell back against the pillows and stared at her father, "I feel like I'm suffocating here, Dad. I see her every time I close my eyes. I smell her, I feel her, I can't escape her. And that makes me want to throw myself down in that ravine beside her. It makes me want to run and run until the mountains tumble down."

"I was talking to Grandpa about that, B." He ran his fingers through her hair, "I am gonna talk to Aunt Lindsay about a few things and maybe you can go stay in New York with her and Uncle Danny for awhile."

"What about you?"

"Hey," Jake looked her in the eye, "we're still Daddy and Little B, but we've got to do what is best for you right now, okay?"

"Okay," She gave him a soft smile, "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, Blake Lynn," He kissed her forehead, "more than all the tea in china. Do you know how much tea there is in china?"

"Nope." She shook her head and gave a small smile.

"More than you could ever count, B."

"Hey, Shorty." Jake Monroe entered the guest room and flopped down on the bed beside his little sister. They lay in similar fashion; right leg tucked under the left knee and left arm propped behind their heads, "I was... I have a favor to ask..."

"Blake can come and stay with me and Danny for as long as she needs too, Jake." She nudged him with her foot and he nudged her back. With that, it was settled without another word. They were family and family is there no matter what.