Chapter Two
Enter, Tombugiri!
Shikamaru sighed as his eyes opened of their own free will, despite his best efforts to convince them to do otherwise.
What time was it?
He didn't know.
Or maybe he didn't care. It was one of the two.
He yawned and looked over to the other side of the bed . . . nobody there . . . well he wasn't surprised. She usually wasn't there, but sometimes she surprised him so he held out hope most every morning . . . he wondered if that was romantic or just pathetic.
He'd worry about it later.
Well . . . he knew he had something he was supposed to be doing. He stared at the clouds as they drifted past his kitchen window . . . slowly he sipped a glass of orange juice . . . coffee would only wake him up fully and he didn't feel like he wanted to be fully awake just yet . . . besides actually preparing the coffee would be too troublesome.
He saw a cloud that looked like the number 10 . . . his old days as a member of team 10 came to mind, he smiled weakly at the memory but for some reason "team 10" kept ringing through his head as if it should be significant . . . had Chouji and Ino decided on the old group getting together today?
No . . . it wasn't that. Ino was away on a mission.
Team ten . . . team ten . . . he remembered the good old days with Asuma-sensei and the old Ino-Shika-Cho team . . . yeah . . . now if he remembered correctly Asuma-sensei's daughter Yomiko had been assigned to a ninja squad just yesterday . . . in fact it was squad ten, kind of neat coincidence really.
Shikamaru laughed softly to himself, from what he remembered of little Yomiko just six years ago she was really sure of herself, having two Jounin parents tended to do that to a kid. She would probably be hard to actually teach and Shikamaru took a moment to pity whatever sorry loser had got stuck leading the new team ten . . . and slowly, very slowly the horrible truth sank in.
"Oh . . ." He whispered, and looked at the time . . . he might have only been an hour late if he hadn't sat around doing everything in his power to remain in a state between sleeping and waking. Might be only an hour and a half late if he left now, even though he wouldn't.
He knew he had to go, he just didn't see the need to be too quick about it, after all, he was already late, it wasn't like getting there any sooner would make up for it.
Maybe next time he'd go through the trouble and make that coffee.
Yomiko glared at her sensei from across the room, he was sitting in a chair-incorrectly, she might add, he was leaning forward against the back like some hoodlum-and watching them with a very bored expression. "So . . . how does this work?" He asked.
"Well gee, you're our sensei, you tell us!" Kotaro laughed, obviously he thought Shikamaru-sensei was kidding. Yomiko knew better. The Legendary Lazy Ass would be a disappointment at every opportunity, she bet.
Shikamaru-sensei scratched the side of his head and thought out loud, "Let's see . . . how did he do it? Ah yes . . . I want you all to start by telling me your names and a little bit about yourselves."
"Like what?" Naomasa asked.
"Well your hobbies, your goals . . . anything you like . . . just don't talk my ears off." Shikamaru-sensei responded.
"Well you go first and show us how it's done, Sensei." Kotaro said.
"I could do that. But it'd be too troublesome . . ."
Yomiko scoffed, "Fine then, I'll go first." She said, and Shikamaru-sensei shrugged. "Well I am Yomiko, of the Sarutobi clan if you must know. I like to do my best at everything I attempt, I hate quitters and la-" Yomiko stopped herself before she could say "lazy people" and instead said "La . . . lakes. My hobbies include practicing Genjutsu and my chakra control. My goal is to become a Jounin just like my father and mother."
Shikamaru-sensei nodded. "Interesting." He said without any emotion or even the slightest hint that he was impressed. "Now you." He said, waving his hand vaguely at either Kotaro or Naomasa, the two boys were standing next to each other . . . it was almost as if he was too lazy to pick a specific speaker.
Kotaro took the opportunity to speak up, "I'm Kotaro, of the Hatake clan. I'm the kind of person who doesn't feel like talking about his likes and dislikes. My dreams for the future are none of your business . . . but I don't really have any hobbies."
"Ha-ha! I want to answer like that! Can I answer like that, Sensei?" Naomasa asked.
"Why? What's so great about that? He didn't even tell us anything!" Yomiko cried.
"Fine. I like to read, and I like snakes. I dislike bossy girls." Kotaro said, and Shikamaru-sensei gave a slight nod of agreement.
Yomiko folded her arms and "humph"ed them.
"My goal for the future is to master a thousand Jutsus like my father . . . I really don't have any hobbies."
"Wouldn't mastering Jutsus be a hobby?" Shikamaru-sensei asked.
"I didn't say I enjoyed it . . . it's just something I need to do." Kotaro whispered.
Shikamaru-sensei nodded. "How about you then?"
Naomasa shrank a bit, "Well I'm Ishida Naomasa, but you can call me Nao. I dislike snobs, people who don't know when they're the impoverished ones. I like to have fun, I guess that's my hobby too, just having fun. My goal in life is just to be a good ninja, and help protect this country from the war."
Shikamaru-sensei nodded to him and said softly "So . . . now that we all know each other so well I guess I'd normally concoct some diabolically cruel test to see which of you clowns is worthy of becoming a ninja and which of you needs more training . . ."
"But you cant!" Yomiko cried, raising her hand and waving it in the air, "Because the Hokage wants every Genin to pass this year!"
"That's right. So I'm stuck with the three of you for good." Shikamaru-sensei said with a yawn.
"Or until somebody dies." Kotaro pointed out.
Shikamaru-sensei nodded, "True, but I have no intention of allowing that to happen . . . even if you are a bothersome bunch." He got up out of the chair and rubbed his hands together, "Well you know what this means . . . time now for my diabolically cruel test."
"B-but you can't!" Yomiko protested.
Shikamaru's expression became annoyed, "I can't fail anyone, that's true. But I can see for myself where you all stand, and maybe teach you a few things while I'm at it. Man this is going to be a drag . . . but I've got no choice, tests like these, more specifically the things you'll learn while taking them can someday be the difference between survival and death . . . so you see miss Sarutobi, I can and even though it's way too troublesome I will."
"Well this stinks, I didn't even study." Naomasa griped.
"That won't matter." Yomiko said, matter-of-factly. "It's a survival test."
"Don't be so sure." Shikamaru-sensei said. "Come with me . . . we're going to the market place."
"Temari-sensei!" Kyoko screamed, Temari's eyes snapped open and she leapt out of her tent, a kunai in each hand, half dressed and ready to kill whoever was harming her student.
"Temari-sensei!" Kyoko cried, hiding behind her, "They're teasing me with a beetle!"
Temari's eye twitched as her other two Genin, Yukio and Ryu laughed, Ryu had a rather large beetle crawling on his palm.
"Just a bit of fun, sensei." Yukio said with a wink.
Temari would kill all three of them. "Ryu!" She snapped angrily, ignoring Yukio, "Damn you Ryu, stand still!"
"Hehe! Why?" Ryu asked.
"That thing on your hand is poisonous, if you startle it it'll secrete a toxin that will leave you paralyzed for days, and we can't afford to drag you along with us! We'd have to leave you to die." Temari snapped, "Stand still!"
"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" Ryu gasped, "Get it off me, sensei! Get if off me!"
"I cant, it's watching me too closely." Temari said.
"It is?" Ryu whimpered.
"Yukio, you need to get it off him . . . but don't touch it!" Temari said.
"Y-yes sensei." Yukio said, suddenly no nonsense.
Temari bit down on her thumb while Yukio went about trying to prod the beetle off of Ryu's hand with a kunai. With her other hand she held a finger to Kyoko's mouth to keep her quiet as she began her jutsu.
"Ah, don't piss it off Yukio!" Ryu screamed.
"Shaddap."
"C'mon man I don't want to die!"
"Shaddap! I almost got it . . . here we go!"
Temari completed her jutsu and Kamatari the weasel appeared before her.
She glared at him and nodded towards the bushes while motioning her eyes towards the boys.
Kamatari sneered and disappeared into the bushes.
"I'm gonna die! Just leave me here, but tell my sister I died fighting a thousand Cloud ninjas!"
"We're on our way to Konoha, you won't meet any Cloud nins around here. Besides, it paralyzes, it doesn't kill." Temari said in a sarcastically comforting voice. "We'd be the ones who kill you, to make sure any passing Stone Shinobi don't get any secrets out of you once we leave you behind."
"No, sensei!" Ryu moaned.
"Got it!" Yukio said, flicking the beetle onto the ground, then stomping on it. "There, you're okay."
"Thank you! I owe you my life!" Ryu said.
"The beetle is nothing," Temari said, trying to sound relieved, "The flesh eating ferrets that hunt them on the other hand . . . well they're much worse. A single bite from them and you're one dead little brat. So anyway I hope you've learned your lesson about teasing-oh my gosh, look out!" Temari screamed as Kamatari leapt out of the bushes and landed on Yukio's head, the boy fell to the ground screaming, and Ryu leapt back, also screaming while Kyoko and Temari laughed.
"A ferret? I'm insulted." Kamatari told her over the screams.
Temari smirked at the weasel, trying to stop laughing "Sorry 'bout that." She told him, but to her students she stood up tall and strong, "Now stop crying you big babies, and don't tease Kyoko any more. Some day you'll stop being annoying preteens and you'll be awkward teenagers, and you'll be begging her to be seen in your company so don't screw things up now. And don't wake me up again!"
"But sensei you said you wanted to be woken up before sunrise if you weren't already up . . . and it's almost noon." Kyoko said.
Temari's eye twitched again, "Why didn't you wake me then?" She asked Kyoko.
"Well I went in there to wake you, but you just moaned 'wake me up later Shika-kun' and when I tried shaking you, you nearly gutted me with one of those kunai you were holding a moment ago." Kyoko said dryly. "So who's Shika-kun?"
"Shaddap." Temari grumbled. They were lucky they hadn't been attacked while she was asleep. They were in Konoha's territory, but awfully close to its border with the Rain country, which meant that they were right on Iwa and Konoha's battle line.
Iwa had been trying for almost a year to wipe Suna off the map, they were close to succeeding too. Ninja from the Stone and Sand villages always fought to the death on sight, that Temari's students were mere Genin wouldn't have deterred any Iwagakure ninja.
They were a merciless lot.
Kotaro frowned when they reached the market, it was bustling, which was not at all unusual. It was the weekend, most kids were enjoying themselves, in fact he could see some of the other Genin amongst the crowd, doing just that.
Not Kotaro and team ten. No they were working, and it'd make all the difference. Sure Yomiko said this guy was the Legendary Laze, but it didn't look like any of the other teams were training. They would be on top of all the other teams because of their tireless training efforts.
"Look at this," Nao groaned, "It's almost noon, all the other teams finished their first day of training and we havent even started yet."
Oh . . . okay that made sense too . . . maybe they did have a lazy sensei . . .
Kotaro made a face and said "We're going to break for lunch, right?"
The Laze frowned at him and scratched his head, "I guess if you guys do well enough I'll buy you lunch. But if you fail to impress me, we'll go out for survival training and you'll all miss lunch. How's that?"
"No fair!" Kotaro protested.
"Hmm. Is that what you'll tell the Cloud ninjas as they kill Nao or Yomiko? It's not fair?" The Laze shrugged, "Life's not fair, war is far from fair, if you can't stand to miss one meal you're just not cut out to be a ninja." The Laze put his hands in his pockets and yawned "But don't worry, I'm incredibly easy to please . . . and I want this to end just as soon as you do, so let's see . . ."
"You mean you brought us here without a plan of action? What are we doing here if you don't know what we're doing here? We could have stayed where we were!" Yomiko cried.
"Don't be silly. It's a bit of a pain but I already know what you're supposed to do. I'm the teacher, remember? Now stand back . . . I don't really like doing this but it's important to know what you're all capable of I guess." Shikamaru-sensei grumbled, he bit down on his own thumb until he drew blood, then traced a design on the ground, "Now . . . lets see what you've got!"
Yomiko blinked when the meanest, scariest looking weasel she'd ever seen appeared before her.
However Nao raised his hand and instead of asking The Laze where the rodent came from he said "Why's it wearing clothes, sensei?"
"I don't like naked weasels." Shikamaru-sensei said.
"Oi! You're not my boss!" The weasel complained.
Haha . . . yeah it freakin' talked, Kotaro thought. He was so outta there.
But Yomiko and Nao stopped him from running off, each stomped on one of his feet and the shame he felt overrode the creepiness of the talking weasel situation.
If he didn't die from it, he'd probably thank them.
"All right, now I admit I borrowed this little fellow from a friend of mine," Shikamaru-sensei was saying when the weasel cut him off.
"Little? I ain't little, if that's how you feel I might as well just go back!"
"But you'd miss your chance to have fun with these Genin if you did that, Tombugiri." Shikamaru-sensei smirked at the weasel, and the little weasel decided to stick around after all, it looked eagerly at Kotaro and his teammates, "Besides, summoning you takes less chakra than my usual ally, so be glad you're seeing the light of day."
"One of these days I tell ya, one of these days!" Tombugiri growled.
"So even when you're training us you're doing the bare minimum?" Nao gawked.
Yomiko shrugged and said "What do you expect?"
"He is the Legendary Laze." Kotaro agreed.
"Never mind that. Anyway Tombugiri here is going to play a little game of tag with you. He's going to hide and flee from you in the market place. Your mission is to show me your ninja skills by capturing him without causing any disturbance to the nice people doing their shopping."
"But it's packed!" Nao protested, "How will we keep from causing a disturbance?"
"A Shinobi must be able to stealthily accomplish a mission even in a crowded area . . . or something. Just do it, don't be irritating. Did I mention I'm giving a full day off to whoever brings me the weasel?"
"That's gonna be me!" Nao cried, "I can't lose!"
"Please, the weasel is so mine!" Yomiko scoffed.
Kotaro frowned . . . couldn't they work together? No, if Shikamaru-sensei wanted them to do that he'd have told them so, this was a solo operation.
He cracked his knuckles, "Well as long as it promises not to bite me I'll bring it in first."
"I promise nothing!" Tombugiri cried.
"You're still here?" The Laze demanded and the weasel scurried off, he looked at his watch, "So . . . off you go kids."
To Be Continued . . .
