Never Give Up Hope
CHAPTER 2
The evening that she received the phone call, the World stopped spinning for her. It was so sudden, so fast, so out of left field that all she could do was sit on the couch and stare out into space, trying to wrap her head around what Aunt Sue had just told her. This couldn't happen. He would have mentioned it to her. Wouldn't he? The better part of an hour passes before she finally stands up and walks into the kitchen. Her motions are like that of a zombie, devoid of any real energy or emotion. When did this all start? How did it end? What do I do? Standing in her apartment looking out over the skyline of Seattle, she begins to wonder when did she lose all contact with them. What do I do now?
The next morning, she calls her boss to explain why she had to take a sudden leave of absence. Yes, she would be coming back. She had a fantastic job at that graphic design firm. Raven had worked hard to get through college and had been offered the job almost the second after she crossed the stage with her diploma in hand. She was fast, efficient and creative. The Lawson Design Firm immediately brought her into the world that she had always dreamed of. She had a boss that was very pleased with her work, a corner office that she had just moved into with her last promotion and a really nice salary. She had recently moved into her apartment. It was on the "right" side of town, full of windows, light, and a great view of the city. According to some, she had it all.
Then why did she feel so empty?
( )
A week has passed in a blur of activities, motions and people who came to see her. Why did they feel the need to talk to her? She hadn't set foot on this Res in years and out of the blue, she found herself surrounded by family and friends. They told her that everything happened as it should have, that they were happy to see that she had come back home. Was she happy to be back on Tribal land? Was this her home?
The crowds of people had finally dispersed. The arrangements were finished. All that was left was her childhood home and the memories it held. She sits in the living room, staring at the walls, looking at the pictures of her mom and dad, of her as a baby. In her mind, she sees her dad standing in the kitchen trying to fix dinner. She sees the corner that held the Christmas tree every year, but regardless of how hard her dad tried, the Holidays never felt right. There was a hole in their family that neither of them would discuss. Suddenly she stands. With every passing second, the walls of her childhood home felt as though they were closing in on her, suffocating her, forcing her to face feelings that she had intentionally pushed to the furthest corner of her mind, to be ignored and washed over.
Barging out the front door, she heads for the beach to escape the overwhelming feelings that surrounded her. Tears threatened as she walked out onto the sands of her youth. She had spent countless hours there while growing up. Aunt Sue had tried so hard to include her in the pic nics, trips to the beach, and other activities, but she always felt like she was on the outside looking in at something that could never be hers, as if she didn't belong.
Her feet lead her to one particular rock, the only place in which she felt any real connection to her real family, her mother's rock. Well, it didn't really belong to her mother but it was the only place where she had a memory of her family when it was whole, when they were happy. At around the age of 14, she had found a video recording of her with her mom and dad at this very beach, playing and laughing. There was a portion of the video of her building a sand castle with her mom right in front of this very rock. She was around 4 years old. They were all joking around. Everyone was smiling. It was the last time her mom was ever captured on video or photograph. It was the last time that her family was complete.
As if drawn by a magnet, she walks toward the rock just like she had in her teenage years. She crawled up on top of it to talk her mother as she had done countless times when her head was filled with emotions that she couldn't understand. Raven would explain her problems and angst believing that her mom was listening and occasionally a warm breeze would whip through her hair. She liked to believe that was her mother's response to her questions.
She had lost all track of time as she sat there whispering to her mother, letting her emotions go on the wind, when she looked up to see him walking towards her. Although she had been taught to be polite, to say hello, Raven stayed where she was, tears streaming down her face and lost in her own pain.
()
Walking along what should have been a well worn path; Collin takes his usual stroll to cool down before heading home. He had been giving thought to moving out of his parents place but his insecurities would raise their ugly head, usually stopping him right before he walks into their house to talk to them about it. He kicks a rock in frustration. He turns to watch the waves for a moment. On the wind, he catches the scent of salt…of tears. Looking a little further down the beach, he sees her, alone on her rock. For some reason, he feels compelled to see if she's ok. He heads in her direction.
He stands at a distance, just watching. She was a Quileute that much was obvious by her skin tone and hair. She was also average height and on the thin side. The breeze shifts and her scent hits him. He could smell her pain, her tears and her fear. Carefully so that he wouldn't startle her, he approaches.
"Um…h-h-hi. Are y-y-you new to th-th-the res?" he asks her. His hands jammed into his pockets, trying to cover his nervousness. Even though she was obviously upset and hurting, she was still a girl. He waits patiently for her answer.
She shakes her head and sniffles. "No, I'm not. I've just not been here for a very long time." Her head comes up and he finds himself looking at a pair of beautiful chocolate brown eyes. Her face was tear stained and there was a slight tremor to her voice.
Collin takes a step closer, making his nerves jump again. "Are y-y-you hurt or do y-y-you need s-something? Can I h-h-h-help you?" He realizes that his stuttering is getting worse around her. He looks down at his feet, cursing the fact that he's never been able to have the simplest of conversations with someone and this girl needed his help.
"I'll be ok. I've a lot on my mind is all." She shrugs. "I don't know what to do with the mess that I've found myself in." Pulling her knees up to her chin, she wraps her arms around them, as if trying to hold herself together.
Taking yet another step closer, he watches her. "H-h-hi, I'm C-collin L-l-litlesea." He smiles shyly at her.
The wind whips her hair again, causing her to have to push her hair back from her face. "Hi Collin, I'm Raven Uley."
His head pops up. "U-u-uley? Are y-y-you related t-to S-s-s-sam U-uley?"
"We're very distant cousins. It's been ages since I saw him." She swallows back some emotions. "I haven't lived here on the res for a little over 6 years. I don't know if I would recognize him if I saw him."
"W-w-w-what made you come back?" His curiosity is peaked.
"My father died. I came to take care of the arrangements." She sighs, sniffling.
He thinks for a moment. Lucas Uley. Nodding, he remembered hearing something through the Pack of his passing, but why didn't anyone mention her? Collin scratches the back of his head, mostly out of habit. "What are you going to do now?" He lets his gaze wander across the water, noticing that the sky is getting dark. Night time would be on them soon. She can't stay out here alone.
"I don't know. I've some decisions to make." She sighs in resignation. "I don't know what to do with the house that I just inherited and there's some lose ends in dealing with his medical bills that I need to take care of. I don't know what to do about my work either." She looks at him, really looks at him, and notices that he's a very handsome man, but she's not interested so she shrugs.
Collin nods, still looking at the water and listening to her. "Y-y-y-you need to t-t-t-take your time, not r-r-rush things." The wind picks up as the sky gets darker. His brow furrows. She can't stay out here much longer. "G-g-g-gonna get cold q-q-q-quick out h-h-here now. Y-y-you need to h-h-h-head home." He looks down, frustrated with himself.
"I can't go back to the house yet. I need to get away from it a while longer. It hurts too much." She closes her eyes, wishing that her childhood home wasn't now filled with so many sad memories. Raven shivers as another blast of wind hits her.
Thinking fast, he understood the need to be away from it all but she would get sick for sure if she stayed out here on the beach much longer. "H-h-how about a s-s-s-sm-small bonfire to k-k-keep you w-warm? I c-c-could build it-it for y-y-you." Collin turns to look at her, sees her shivering and becomes determined.
She pushes her hair from her face again with a sigh. "I'd like that if you don't mind. I want to stay out here until I get sleepy so that I can maybe finally get some rest."
"Alr-r-right…" He gets to work collecting some driftwood, finding a slightly sheltered area to build it, and stacking it properly. In no time, he had a nice bonfire built for her. "H-h-h-here you go." Collin holds his hand up for her to help her down.
Raven takes it hesitantly and hops down off of her rock. Walking over to the fire, she sits down, not caring that the sand could ruin her clothes. Her mind was numb from everything that she had gone through. She wraps her arms around her knees and stares at the flames allowing it to relax her.
He sits down near the fire a few feet away. Noticing that she zoned out watching the flames flicker, he took an opportunity to look at her more closely. He saw that she was truly beautiful. His mind wanders to what it would be like to see her laugh and smile, to not be so sad. His hands wanted to reach out to comfort her but he knew that would be pushing things so instead, he sat with her quietly, letting her cry out her grief. As the better part of an hour passes, her eyes go heavy and she looks like she's about to fall over from exhaustion.
"H-h-hey Raven…why d-don't you let me t-t-take you h-home? You n-need to go to b-b-bed."
Her eyes open. She fights past the exhaustion just enough to see the logic in his words. Raven nods. "Ok…" she tries to stand but she's too tired.
Quick on his feet, he helps her up. "I-I've got y-y-you. Point m-m-me to y-y-your house." Noting the direction that she points, Collin picks her up in his arms easily, kicks sand over the fire to put it out and carries her home. Between her exhaustion and his elevated body warmth, she quickly falls fast asleep in his arms. The front door was unlocked so he let them in and gently lays her on the couch. He takes off her shoes and covers her with a blanket. Allowing himself a moment of indulgence, he brushes her hair from her face as he smiles at her. He whispers "I'll s-s-ssee you tomorrow R-r-r-raven Uley." before he lets himself out, making sure that the front door was locked tight.
