Ten miles
ch. 2
Dijun carefully arranged the scrolls he'd been reading in a straight pile on the small table. Rather than exchange them for new ones, he let them pile up on purpose. He kept a few so that he could entice Siming's student to fetch them. He and Siming had thought it best to remove her from regular studies after several setbacks with harassing students. He could only imagine if she was someone of note how bad things could be. But then, the king had long ago forgotten about her.
The hour for her arrival came and went. No doubt she wouldn't come she as he noticed a little red fox about the gardens. He wasn't disappointed when a shadow encased the doorway light and eclipsed it on the floor.
"Siming," he briefly nodded as he turned to see the younger immortal greeting him. "Stand," he motioned his arm signaling the end of formalities. Dijun thought they were dull and only used them when he wanted to get his way.
Siming stood and looked at him pensively, "I have come to return the scrolls to the palace library. They will be used in the studies next quarter. I would like to use them for Fen Jui before then."
Dijun turned slightly knowing this was expected, "I believe that is a task for your junior to pick them up."
Siming's eyes widened slightly and he licked his lips. Before he could speak, Dijun interrupted already knowing an excuse was coming.
"Or is it that she is missing again?" He raised an eyebrow and waited for the reply. "It is a matter of respect," he waved his hand. The other arm he positioned behind his back. This pose made him appear as regal as his presence alone suggested.
He bowed again, "she is quite good at it. It is not 'respecting' to her. She is quite the prankster and young in her immortal years. I am afraid if we push her too early she will only run away. There has been talk amongst the other immortals."
Dong Hua turned away and pretended do look busy as he listened to Siming, "what talk?"
"That she could be a matchmaker."
He chuckled, "have you matched with the maid she saw the cords for?"
Siming turned red and remained silent.
Dijun shook his head from side to side, "I will not have this place become a joke for parlor tricks. Even my own undersling will not heed her advice." He did this to provoke Siming further.
Dijun stared at Siming for a moment, "Has her mastery in this game so improved to the point even you cannot find her?" He swept his long white hair aside and fully faced the other immortal. "Is she not behaving since she was removed from the other students?" Of course not, he thought. She remained in fox form all day.
Siming looked down and away ashamed, "it's just that..."
Dijun waited.
Siming relaxed and told him, "she is not like us. Her essence..."
"...Is what has been the question since she stepped foot inside those two gates. If you don't remember, I do. The girl has remarkable cultivation and skills that rival your own. Since then, she masters abilities that take centuries for others, and she shows a lack of respect that normally comes with time and effort to gain them. What does it matter what her essence is if she cannot adhere to rules and harness it properly?"
Sensing Dijun's irritation, Siming sought to placate him, "she never acts without reason or strong will. It's just like she has little care of this world-like you-she is not interested in these matters."
"Then why is she here?" he reasoned with Siming. "She is your junior. I thought we had an understanding that things would change if you moved her here ahead of schedule. The schooling didn't work to educate her. Why can't she appear when she is supposed to?"
Siming was about to apologize when another shadow blocked the light in the doorway. Behind them, a soft but strong voice sounded, "and she is late, apparently. Please punish me," she said and came forward. She didn't bow. He turned sideways as if he were slightly offended. Inwardly, he took notice. Her long brown hair shined and glistened in the sun rays creating a strange aura around her. The mark on her forehead again drew his attention. As he looked into her eyes, he saw a blankness.
"You wave it off half the time. If it really bothers you, I shall kneel. However," she looked to Siming, "it is not his fault I am a lousy junior or late. Please, punish me instead as this would be the rule I must follow."
Dijun raised a brow, but she didn't bow still. Inwardly, he felt this was getting interesting. He kept a shrewd face with no emotion on it.
Siming looked between the two and noticed he was looking at two of the most stubborn people he'd likely ever met. He shook his head slightly, and also knew she was trying to irritate the older god. It was one thing to play jokes on him, but Dijun was no ordinary diety. He said as much, "Little Feng Jui, you are too stubborn. These are our ways. He is your senior-and mine. What you do affects us."
She shrugged and looked back at Dijun, "He's everyone's senior."
"You lack respect," he said facing her completely.
She rolled her eyes agreeably and Siming's mouth hung open. No one had ever rolled their eyes at Dijun. "Says the person who cares little for such things. Of course," she added thoughtfully, "I have not won battles or united anything in the heavens. It would appear I have no respect from where you are standing. I'm just naturally this removed with people. And I cannot, as you said, understand the logic of acting polite. I do, but I don't like to adhere to it."
"Then why ascend?" He asked her as if it were a test. "No one else does, but they do."
"Why? So we can continue to state who is better and higher than the rest?" She stared at Dijun, "let me leave then. I am not sure how I actually got here. If I'd understood that then, I may not have ended up here by choice. This place is crueler than the mortal world. At least there they are not petty. I am not like all of you." She looked to Siming seeing as he understood this. "I will give up whatever cultivation I have."
Dijun was surprised, "You'd go back?" He shook his head. "This makes no sense. And I've seen how you rejuvenate. Have you thought about others, since you've cared to mention this, that they may benefit from your gifts if you didn't squander them yourself on useless causes?"
"Is that your logic then?" She stood taller, "then if you are all so much better, higher, and older than me..."
"Feng Jui!" He raised his voice. Siming winced.
"Respect is earned, not only does it come in time, or with effort, but it is painstakingly not something I will just give because someone existed before me." Feng Jui kept her composure. "I will try to limit my faults and save you face. But at some point, if I am stuck here, you will have a consequence. You talk to me-to Siming-without any knowledge of who I am."
Siming became uncomfortable at her common speech, "Feng Jui-"
To Siming, she said, "You didn't even notice what happened to me while I tried to study. You thought I was without merit and lazy."
Feng Jui's aura began to light up. Even seeing her now after just a few short years, they could feel the ebb and flow of her aura against their skin. It was frighteningly strong.
"It does matter."
Dijun picked up one of the scrolls and began to lecture her as he tapped it between both of his hands. This is something he did in fact understand. "You came here as it was your fate to be here. Just because you are strong, doesn't mean you should show disrespect to those that took eons to gain what is given you."
She met Siming's eyes. To Dijun she said, "Fate is relative Majesty." She used his formal title as she knew this would sound absurd to them. "My gifts are a curse, they are also irrelevant. Take them then so I may be free of their burdens. Even Bai Qian was born to be a high god...would we be able to stop it?"
Siming visibly sagged. Dijun stopped walking and looked at her. "Explain."
"Mo Yuan came back though people thought it was his fate to die. She did what she did to protect him, but you all thought t was disrespectful. But that's been his fate all along as well as hers. There was no right and wrong in such a case."
"Extraordinary people rarely have normal lives," Dijun offered. "She is also a cultivated high god. Regardless of how she was born, she has suffered for what she has."
"All I did was ascend. It was one thing. Let's consider the effort I've put in since."
Dijun and Siming shared a look and stared at her as she continued.
"It is pure chaos in which things are born. Take the early gods as an example. In this instance, how is it that is the power of spirit, longing, and love outweighed all the physical and metaphysical laws and Mo Yuan returned? By your own estimation, this was not fate but ended up becoming fate. So, was it destiny or fate all along? It transcended death, but what of his troubles when he returned for the one he loved? He is not her fated-this he cannot change. Ye Hua and she," she said referring to the previous queen of Qing Qui, "have knotted threads between them that wrap around them like knots. Of course, we would not speak of this in public, but it is clear Mo Yuan loved the crown princess when she was his junior. You changed your fate," she pointed to Dijun's hands again and frowned. "Was that fate or choice? Maybe fate is not relative then. There is always the missing variant in the equation and that is will. so, my will is my own. If I have the strength of will, is that no effort too? Is it any less because it took me less time to achieve it? Am I any less because I am fated to be this way? Don't mock me."
Next, she nodded to Siming, "he changes their mortal fates all the time. I see things or dream them, but what of it? You think that people cannot have a hand in their own destiny, but that is because you lack the emotions-if I may be so frank. Pardon the joke, but not everything is set in stone." She turned to meet Dijun's gaze referring to the stone of incantations and destiny.
She did so without hesitation and without flinching or batting an eye. "The same is true for your situation. Did you ever think that you made a choice that was not just yours to make? How then does that affect the other half of you? How does it affect the universe also?" She waved this off instantly. "I am not trying to offend here. These are merely examples. We have this peace, but no one asked you to take the pillar and yet for all the respect you've gained, not one person has offered to bare that with you, or for you."
Inwardly, he grinned. She'd just insulted him, but he found this amusing. Her logic was infallible, and it also made him think. He looked at his hands. "Am I to think you have come across the other half." He wiggled his fingers. "It's been thousands of years, Feng Jui."
"By your own strength of will, you made peace. You gave up all this...against your fate. You think I am too young to do the same?"
Their eyes locked in the battle for who was right. Siming swallowed at the depth of this insight and shook his head baffled. "And we wondered why you ascended so young. This is..."
Dijun cut him off, "an excuse. If you work hard, I could be lenient." Everyone bends, he thought to her. "You are here because of fate however you'll wield it, but right now you need to focus on this strength if you are to keep spouting this wisdom."
Irritated, Feng Jui pouted and then stormed out on both. Dijun appeared before her again and she slammed into him. "Would you please stop doing that."
He playfully hit the tip of her head with the scroll and walked back to where he usually sat and ignored them. That appeared to be his thing. Feng Jui, not the quiet type made a face she knew he could see. "You think too much. It is quite easy to get you riled up."
Irritated now, she asked, "Shall I take the scrolls now? Or is that a game to you too?"
Dijun didn't look up, "What about the punishment then? Did you not agree?"
She raised her lip, "punishment from a being that is born from a rock. That ought to be good. I welcome it in place of my senior." She met Siming's eyes apologetically when he stepped outside the study. She knew that if the king commanded, she had to take this post, even if she didn't want to. Both men shared a look. "I will leave here one day."
"Feng Jui!" Siming hissed. "You cannot go against the king of the heavens."
Dijun remained cool and aloof as Siming piled the scrolls into her arms. he walked away from them. "Return when you are done to placate his anger. Do not speak so openly again."
"But he has no anger." She turned and pouted. "Remember...rock? Unmovable and unshakable? If he has no cares in this word or its affairs, then I have not offended him. I am but a blip on the second of his life."
Siming smiled toward Dijun and bowed as he pushed her out the door. Dijun had glanced back.
He actually smiled at that. Outside of the door, she vented her frustration loudly, "I fail to see the difference between us and mortals at this rate."
When their shadows disappeared, Dijun finally looked up and let a small smile crack his normally cold expression. He then coughed and cleared this throat. Now he understood what Siming had been saying. She used logic and philosophy well. It was also clear she didn't want to be used. His eyes narrowed as he thought it through. Something had to have happened in her life as a human to make her this way. Most mortals would forget their lives when they rose to this rank, but Feng Jui had not changed, only grown wiser and adamant about not staying here.
He was about to reach for his tea when he pulled the robe from his arm aside. He remembered her words as a child. 'Your fate was broken.' She made a good point. Who was he that he so moved the heavens for the unification of peace? Did he happen to destroy the life of one meant for him? Who indeed.
Days later
Feng Jui walked with her shoulders slumped as she neared Dijun's Palace. Her punishment had been pure boredom. Cleaning without any powers, long scroll reading, constant fighting stances...
"Like I want to fight people," she pouted.
She stopped just passed where she'd make her way in to look up at the sky. Often, this was something she did to pass the time, or to wish she'd ended up anywhere but here. "My life in the mortal realm was bleak, how does this fare better? The people are the same only they hide behind regalness. They all don't speak the words they want to speak, and they backstab as much as humans." She sighed and looked up to the sky where the birds flew overhead. Her melancholy often seemed to affect them. "it's just another social ladder."
She picked at a leaf and began to tear it in tiny pieces.
"Why am I a fox, when I could be a bird? I'd never land," she mused playing with her sleeves after letting the leaves go. She then touched her forehead. "And they call this ugly when it's just a spot on any regular face. None of these things even matter. I was alone there and I am here. Only now it's a longer constricted life."
From behind her, Dijun stood still having heard her words. He was rather surprised that someone so young was so ...sad. "So that's how you've been hiding," he chose to say.
Feng Jui cringed and slowly turned around. She should have kept her mouth shut. She relaxed by the time she faced him but offered no words. It was just another day to fill it with more mundane things. "I find animal form refreshing. Days," she said, "are meaningless now. When I was mortal there would be an end to it." Her eyes looked far out. Then she looked back at him, "I meant it when I said you could take this strange cultivation. I'd gladly spend it."
Dijun was ready to tease her, as he had worn her thin the last few days. In the attempt to break her of this strong will she had, he'd obviously not done much. He studied her carefully and listened to her words. "You should try to free yourself from the troubles- not avoid or run head fast in them."
"How is that working out for you?" She countered. "Do you really love reading the same books, hearing the same problems, and seeing the same undercutting people who are nice to your face and ready to stab you when you turn around?" She looked far away, "Then how is taking animal form any different from the same task you do by reading? Dont you just want to get away from it all?"
She looked down after this but eventually raised her head.
His lip twitched as this was precisely what he did, "You really have no fear and no etiquette?" He teased her again.
She made herself small, "I could, but then why fake it? I'd be like the rest of them. And you don't really care about their ways. In that, why would I be around you and act any less than I am? It is similar to your temperament on such matters. If i really displeased you I know I'd be out of here by now. At least I don't annoy you while I am enduring the punishment." She clarified the time period and decided against being overly bold. "I would not intentionally insult you over nothing. How can I insult you if these things do not matter to you, Majesty?"
Dijun looked out into the sky, "this place is not a nice place. Take Siming's advice regardless of what you know, there are ears everywhere." He let his eyes stray back towards her. She seemed to appreciate his words this time, and he knew she, in fact, understood him very well. Maybe because he was being frank with her.
Feng Jui's eyes were expressive, and she never hid her emotions from anyone. Just now they appeared desolate until his words rang true. "Do you ever wonder why we all pretend behind manners such as these?"
"We do it as there is chaos without rules. Sometimes rules are good to break, it is just a manner of when, how, and if it is appropriate to break them." He placed both of his arms behind his back. When his eyes reached the sky, he could detect the birds responding to her emotions as if they were an elemental force. She was so small and fragile on the outside, but she met his command inch per inch, demand for demand, and punch for punch. He's seen a lesser immortal fail at far less. Today she'd gained his respect. Now he wondered how he could help teach her the 'how' he'd spoken of. She was too free a spirit in such a place to thrive.
She remained there and stared waiting for him to instruct her. he said, "Why do I get the impression that none of this will change your behavior?"
"I will...refine my actions, then." Her words were short but precise. She looked off and to the side as if deciding something. "I am working off this façade as if I'd offended you when I have not. What does it matter then if it fills the day? I am no more moved than you. It changes nothing about how I feel." She paused, "will you tell him about my form?"
"Why shouldn't I?" Dijun felt his curiosity piqued.
"it's higher cultivation than he knows I am at." She looked down, "I just wanted to...and then I was." She seemed annoyed, "Why are these things happening when I don't even try?"
Good question, he thought. If she thinks it and it happens...that's unheard of.
She'd not met his gaze in some time. He knew she wasn't afraid of him, but she was worried about this little thing. "Perhaps it is your, as you said, variable."
Knowing this, he avoided the answer she wanted. He stood taller and nodded his head at her, "so you want to fly like the birds."
She raised an eyebrow at him. "I will not come back when I have learned this cultivation. The things I know, they are not for everyone to know. I consider this bad fate. But when I try for any bird it will not come to me."
Dijun thought, this is why the tribe wants to control you. He waved her in and her shoulders sagged. She truly was young at heart.
#
"Sit," Siming was told after Dijun sat. "You need to reign in her cultivation or you will lose this commodity. However, having listened to her speak, I think she will use whatever means to escape she can."
Siming studied him for some time. "She is supposed to help with what I am doing. Why would she leave?"
Dijun sipped his tea slowly, "you are correct in assuming she has a free soul, but she considers this an ill fate. Until she can see the merit of her gift, I am afraid you will lose out. She does not falter on work or command when put to the test-even if she knows there is no merit in it. Each day, despite knowing she has not offended me, she comes for punishment. This is not an ill-mannered child. She has no fear to express that and the desire to leave. What of her home life when she was human?"
Siming had brought his book at Dijun's request. "She had a hard life. She was picked on, no parents, no food..."
"Do we know why she ascended at all, let alone as a small child? Most mortals don't think the way she does. Do you remember the words she spoke when she came through to the king?"
His tone was strong, and Siming was a little taken aback by it. "I've looked. No one helped her if that is what you mean." He slid the book over to Dijun as proof.
"How many lives has she lived?" Dijun took the book and paused when Siming gave him a grave expression. "Speak."
"Just the one." He quickly looked away.
The teacup hit the table a little harder than it was supposed to. "One? You mean that she came because she didn't want to be there-didn't want to be a mortal?" He remembered her words today, "that is a problem if the king wishes to promote her. She is unhappy here. When she is unhappy it affects the elements. The birds," He motioned outside, "have you noticed when she is down in spirits, they are distracted from simply flying? What is it about this one child that can do it with such apathy she cannot understand her ability?"
"Perhaps," Siming stated carefully, "it comes with an advanced understanding of the world. If she sees and dreams these things...we need to instruct her so she does come to understand it."
He calmed down and relaxed even as he began to think about it. "That is preposterous, she hasn't even seen war."
Siming shifted, "fundamentally speaking, it is all the same to her. Most humans cannot achieve this type of understanding, let alone a child. She is," he cleared his throat, "a prodigy. She needs the right teacher and that will give her the right reasons to adhere."
Dijun carefully thought this over, "She is indeed aloof, and yet very..." he waved his hands.
"A young girl?" Siming smiled. "She is warm-hearted. But I believe I am not the right one to teach her. I do not understand the world as she does," Siming put it simply. "You do. You are both aloof to everyday mundane life. Perhaps you could teach her the art of...faking it?"
Dijun looked at him skeptically. Siming wanted to say more, and this was obvious to him. He did enjoy their talks, and for some reason, he didn't want to run away. He kept the secret from him that she was the little red fox that ran between the palaces. He took his time sipping his tea. "What are you suggesting here?"
"Make her a servant. No one outside here knows her very well. She'd blend in, abet she is a little too pretty." He looked up suddenly, "not that it matters."
Dijun gave him a stern eye. "She doesn't see herself like this. In fact, I believe she thinks she is plain and that her birthmark is ugly."
"Why," Siming said aloud. Inwardly he noted that Dijun had noticed her looks and even gave him a face when he'd mentioned it. It was true that Dong Hua had gotten more out of little miss than even he had? The older god was known for playing tricks on others, more or less because he often outwitted people. And he had a sharp tongue, but this was not the same thing. "Dijun..."
"What of her birthmark?" Dijun interrupted. "Any hints on what it could be? I've gone through all the sutras. A child without direction cannot fulfill a great destiny. No child walks in here in one lifetime to become immortal for no reason at all. Of all the places she was put," he remarked about the palaces. When he finished this sentence, he realized how much he wanted her to find that place she was...free.
Again, he picked up his teacup and tuned the world out.
