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"You want a love that consumes you. A little bit of danger."

"I love you Elena, and it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you. Why you can't know this. I don't deserve you, but my brother does."

Elena's eyes fly open and she's taking deep breaths that she doesn't even need anymore. Every night since she has turned she sees the memories Damon made her forget in her dreams. When she dreams them, remembers them she knows she should be furious he did that to her, but when she sees him all she sees is his beautiful face heartbroken as he compels her to forget his love. It breaks her heart knowing that she was the source of all his unselfish acts. She has so many regrets, but she can't dwell on them because now it would ruin her.

She has a chance now, she has forever. And all she can think about when she thinks about forever is Damon.

Now that she allows herself to feel what she feels for him without pushing it away she is awe of his love, she accepts it. No more denying. Instead she craves it. She hasn't seen him in almost twelve hours and they feel like the longest hours she's ever felt. She absolutely can't talk to him, or see him until she has a conversation with Stefan. She has waited too many days, with no pushing from either brother. Their main concern was helping her with the transition.

She dresses slowly, and she dreads this conversation. Hurting Stefan is not something she wanted to do. She makes her way towards Stefan's room and he looks as if he knows why she is there. She sits next to him on the bed taking his hand in hers, and she's thankful he lets her.

"Why did you even choose me?" His voice is somber. Stefan knows exactly why she came to him today.

"Because I love you."

"But it's not enough is it?"

"No, maybe it wasn't before either, and I was just too afraid to face it. Now there are just so many feelings, and I can't get rid of them. I don't want to. I don't want to be Katherine." She tells him honestly, even if it sounds brutal.

"You could never be her, Elena."

"By choosing you I would be." He turns to face her as she cradles his face in her hands, and she hates how sad he looks, but she has to do this because she can't bare the thought of seeing what would happen to Damon if he lost her again. It would destroy her to lose Damon, that much is evident. "I love him, Stefan. Maybe in a different world we would be together and Katherine would be with Damon. But in this world, the real world, I belong with him. He was my rock last summer. I was still in one piece because of him. Physically and emotionally. He gave me things I didn't even know I needed. I thought I should need more, want more, but he is everything I need and want."

"I don't think anyone has ever talked about Damon like that before. I pushed being a vampire on him, and then I left him. I did it because I needed him, and I just left. He hated me, and I hated him for that fact. A hundred and some years later I still need him, and now so do you. You want to know the difference between me and Damon? I left you, he never would. He is the better choice for you."

"I don't hate you for leaving."

"I did it for Damon. Then I stayed away because I was a far worse monster than he could ever be."

"You love your brother Stefan. You did the right thing." She give him a small smile and leans into his embrace. The relief courses through her, glad that this went well. Now she could see Damon with a clean conscience.


Elena finds Damon sitting in front of the fire place, no fire lit, with a glass of Burbon. Only Damon would drink at this hour, she thinks. She makes her way to him, when she sits down she looks at his face. To most people Damon looks stoic most times, but she sees through it. She knows damn well he heard her and Stefan talking, and she thinks he looks guilty. Maybe something along the line of 'brother's girl and all.' Except she knows better, that isn't all. He loves Stefan and no matter what Damon doesn't want his brother to hurt.

"You compelled me." She blurts out unable to take the silence anymore.

"You chose Stefan."

"I made a mistake." He finally looks at her, letting the words sink in before he speaks again.

"So did I."

This should have been a fight. One with yelling, and smashing things, and one of them storming off. Except right now she needs him too much. She needs to feel his skin on hers. She wants to run her fingers through his hair. But most of all she wants to feel his lips on hers without anything in the way.

He knows that he shouldn't just forgive her. She ignored what she felt,except all that seems to matter is she realzied her mistake within hours, and she fixed it. She didn't deny it or ignore it. She simply admitted it. Not only that, he loves her so much, and she could have died.

She leans her head on his shoulder. The fact that just being near him makes her so calm, makes her feel so at peace lets her know he had been the right choice all along.

"I am so sorry Damon."

"As am I." He says quietly, not even attempting to look at her. She shifts herself onto his lap. She needs to be able to look into his eyes when she tells him what she needs to.

"I shouldn't have made such a quick choice, I shouldn't have went for the safest option. I shouldn't have said that it would be different if I'd met you first." His eyes darken at her words, and she already knows what is going through his mind. "No, Damon. That isn't what I mean. I did choose wrong, but it doesn't matter who I met first. Am I glad I met you then? Yes, I liked you, I was attracted to you. You didn't know me, yet you knew me."

"What are you trying to say Elena?"

"I'm saying you are that all consuming love. Hours before the accident I told Matt what I felt for you consumed me. I already felt that before I turned, and then after you were in my every thought. The minute I turned I knew I needed you, as long as you were there I would survive. The old me could have pushed you and what I felt for you away. The old me felt like I should be with Stefan. Who I am now won't even let me think about it. You are it. You are the danger, you are the love I want. The love I need."

"And what makes you think I want it now? I wasn't good enough for the other you."

"You were good enough. I wasn't. You were too much, what I felt for you was too much. That is what I'm sorry for. I wasn't stong enough to accept it, but I am now. Human or vampire I need you. I want you exactly the way you are. Losing you would be worse than death."

"Losing you feels like death. I won't do it again. If you aren't sure about this, you need to take it back. I would understand. Everything feels different now."

"This is the most sure I've been about anything since before my parents died.

He wraps his arms wrap around her and pulls her in for the kiss they have both been craving. Nothing else matters. To them, it's just the two of them in this whole messed up world.