A/N: I wasn't actually planning on writing this, but once I saw that people asked for it and a handful of you put this on alerts I decided to add.

It's all EPOV, so leave me some reviews. That'd be awesome.

Oh, and SMeyer owns; I think I forgot that before…


Bella told me once that she couldn't live in a world without me. I hate to admit it, but I didn't believe her. I didn't believe that a perfect creature like my Bella could ever love me the way I loved her.

Teenagers are fickle, you see; constantly changing and moving. It was true that I couldn't let her get hurt because of me and what I was, I had to admit that I'd left her to prevent my own pain. Living without Bella was a dull ache. It was like a tense muscle that you're always aware of, but can live with. But… knowing that Bella was gone.

No.

That was my beating, human heart being ripped from my chest. I couldn't survive without her. There simply was no purpose. I collapsed after I found Bella's note, not particularly caring that my cries could've been heard for miles, nor that I had broken into Chief Swan's house. All I knew was that my Bella was gone.

And it was my fault.

Emmett found me after mere seconds and soon he was whisking me back home. I cried and wailed into his chest, wishing for the first time in ages that I could cry. I could have cried for years.

My Bella.

Gone.

The house was a blur as he took me upstairs, putting me on the floor. I crawled into the corner of my room and curled myself into a ball.

"You screwed up, Edward." Emmett said, his voice quiet and tight.

I merely nodded.

"I… I have to leave you here. Carlisle told me to leave you here. But I'll check on you later." I heard him take a few steps to the door, "But please… be safe."

My heart clenched at his choice of words and all I could think of was Bella at school… driving her car… reading in the library… fainting. My Bella. My Bella, what had I done? I had broken her down so thoroughly and completely that she couldn't go on. I had ruined the person I loved above all others.

I stayed like that, curled in a ball and alone for weeks.

The silence was deafening. No one was there to hear me or listen, and no one seemed to even care. I hadn't heard from Emmett since the day he left, or any other member of my family. It seems they had shunned me. I couldn't blame them; after all I'd played a major role in murdering someone that they loved dearly. Isolation is a prison unto itself, I realized. There was no where to go and no where to be. No purpose, once I thought about it. No one was dependent upon me, nor was anyone worried about me.

I was no longer loved.

My love was gone. She was buried far beneath the earth, where really I should have been as well. I thought back to her letter, and thought of what she'd said about my change. I hadn't ever thought of it as a blessing until I met Bella. It was then that I realized that I had been meant for Bella. I wouldn't have known her other wise.

But look at what I had done with my gift.

Like a spoiled child, I tossed her aside carelessly. At this point, it didn't matter that I'd meant well, or that I had only wanted what was best for her. All that mattered was that she was gone, and what I'd done had effectively killed her. It seemed as though I'd delivered the blow just as I thought I was saving her.

What a fool I could be.

I willed myself to waste away. With each passing day, I felt my sanity slipping away. I didn't need it. I needed Bella. I hadn't fed since I'd heard, and I didn't want to. Why should I thrive while my Bella rotted away? I didn't want to move or breath or eat or sleep… all of which were possible because of what I was.

A monster.

A murderer.

A liar.

But what else had I deserved? I wasn't worthy of Bella. Not of her love, her compassion, her adoration—none of it. I was an evil being, someone who clearly didn't know the difference between right and wrong, although I seemed adept at the former. I wanted to be the nothingness that had consumed me in Bella's absence.

For without her love, what purpose did I have?

None.