A/N: Oh gosh, thank you guys so much for the truly humbling response to the first chapter. I'm feeling the pressure to make this one good for y'all in gratitude. I thought Eric could help me with that so he's in this one and bringing sexy along with him. (He knows what he's good for!)
Big HUGE thanks to Northman Maille and Sheknitsnicely for beta'ing this baby till it glowed!
Also, I want to thank a wonderful fellow fanfic writer and friend of mine Hippychik. I was feeling very… trepidatous about writing this story and kept putting it off. It was her encouragement that finally got my butt in gear. So if at any point you're feeling the drag from all this angst check out her ongoing series about Eric and Sookie. Her latest installment is Dead Trouble in Little Shreveport it's uplifting, fun and angst-lite!
Disclaimer: I own nothing….
.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.
When Sookie walked into Merlotte's just after eleven o'clock, she couldn't say her morose mood had improved much, but she hoped just being back among the living for a little while might help things. It was a short lived aspiration.
"Hey Sookie, are you okay? You look like hell warmed over."
They were the first words out of Sam's mouth when he'd looked up from polishing the bar to see her walking through the door, and they definitely reinforced the tone for her day.
She'd bantered back and forth with Sam a little while they'd done all the last minute things that needed doing before the bar opened for lunch at one, or as much as she could on what little sleep she'd had and with her brain mostly a million miles away. She'd tried to gloss over the event s of the previous evening, the one's that had left her looking like warmed death, according to her boss, and to also seem excited for Sam when he told her all about his new girlfriend, Janalynn.
Truly, she was happy for him. He'd been so in love with her at one point that Sookie had felt bad for not returning his feelings. But the fact was, as much as Sam might have been a safer choice for her than any one of her three lovers, there had never been anything there beyond a base acknowledgement that he was a handsome man. There was just no spark, their one kiss had proved that. It had been nice and, at the time, she remembered thinking that she wouldn't mind doing it again, but somehow again never happened.
She'd kissed Eric for the first time when she'd still been with Bill and, despite the fact that she'd told herself, repeatedly and firmly, it should NEVER happen again, it just kept happening. It was proof that your heart led you where it wanted to go, even without the consent of your head.
Her heart had been leading her to Eric for a long time, but the old adage had proved true: you could bring a horse to water, but you couldn't make it drink. She'd been at the watering hole for a long time now but it was just last night she'd realized she wanted to drink…from that pool and no other, if she could have her choice.
So, knowing that she was happy, she tried to put on a smiling, if tired, face for Sam and congratulate him (even if she did think the only charms Janalynn possessed were the kind you could buy from the Hoodoo ladies in the swamps).
The rest of her shift plodded by on tired legs as Sookie attempted to keep moving and keep her attention on her customers, while her brain kept betraying her good intentions, swirling around the events of the night before instead.
She almost felt bad for thinking more about the conversation she'd had with Pam than about the fact that they'd killed two people and then hid the corroborating evidence in a ditch an hour south of Bon Temps. She supposed it was hypocritical though to feel bad about offing Victor's hench Vamps when earlier in the same night she'd been sitting with Pam and Eric preliminarily premeditating another murder (one with Victor's name all over it).
No. Instead she'd been incessantly contemplating Pam's words that Eric truly loved her and would stay with her until 'death did she depart', while serving Maxine Fortenberry her extra-large onion ring basket with ketchup, mustard and a diet coke. She thought about what would happen to Eric when she finally did check out and tried to hold back tears at the idea of the strong, beautiful Viking possibly going insane or killing himself. All the time waiting for Sheriff Dearborn to look over the menu thoroughly before ordering his cheeseburger basket, the same one he ordered every single time. She worried endlessly too about the fact that she, as a Human, was both the weakest and easiest target for Victor, or for any of their other enemies, to pick on.
It was true she'd held her own with Bruno last night, and she'd ended up the winner. It was equally true that he wasn't the first person, or even the first Vampire, she'd killed, so she couldn't shrug her shoulders and call it blind, dumb luck. But as she aged, slowed down, maybe got sick like her Aunt, her days of slaying Vampires would quickly dwindle.
If only she didn't have to grow old or die. It was almost everyone's wish at some point or another, wasn't' it, as the reality of their mortality set in?
Of course the difference was, for her, it didn't have to be just a wish.
That last thought hit Sookie square in the gut just as she was pouring Andy Bellfleur another glass of sweet tea. She didn't realize, until he began to yell and curse as the tea overflowed and began running off the table and onto his lap, that it had apparently short circuited the rest of her brain.
After a profuse apology, a quick mop up of Andy and the table, and a courteous ignoring of Andy's less than gentlemanly thoughts about her and her mental capabilities, Sookie retreated to the back door for her break and, for the first time all day, was able to just sit and think about everything.
She'd never, EVER considered becoming a Vampire before, not even in the most abstract terms. With Bill it had never been a question. Despite his loud and continued protestations of eternal love, the truth was, when they'd dated, he'd never cared for her enough to have brought up the topic, even in the hypothetical sense.
With Quinn of course it was never even a concern. But with Eric…how many times had he told her, fangs down and lust burning away in his cool blue eyes, that she would make a magnificent Vampire? Hadn't she made him promise that he would never ever turn her, even if she were near death, because deep down she knew his fondest hope was that she might one day become like him?
She hadn't been deluding herself all this time. She really couldn't picture herself as anything but Human and she had a hard time seeing the upside of watching everyone she loved die, or never being able to eat or see the sun again. Now that she knew of her Fairy heritage and had met her Fairy kin she had even more reason not to consider the idea. She would want to devour her own family, her cousin and her grandfather (if she ever saw him again) and she would have to leave them behind, possibly forever.
Sookie looked up at the bright blue sky she couldn't believe she was honestly contemplating maybe never seeing again, and sighed dejectedly. There were other reasons why it was a horrible idea as well, reasons that had nothing to do with something as silly as not getting to shove a whole pecan pie in her mouth at once, whenever she was bored or depressed.
Vampires were completely at the mercy of their Makers. Anything Eric wished her to do, she would have to, whether it was as stupid as squawking like a chicken in the middle of Fangtasia or as grave as killing someone. While she couldn't imagine Eric ever commanding her to murder an innocent against her will, he had proved, in the past, that he wasn't above tricking her into something as serious or binding as say…a marriage! How much worse could it be if he didn't even have to trick her, if he could just order her instead?
Then there was the sad truth she'd learned from more than one Vampire: Makers and their children rarely stayed together forever. They barely stayed together long enough for the fledgling to have control over their bloodlust in some cases. It was true that Pam and Eric seemed to genuinely love each other and enjoy each other's company, but it wasn't like Pam was hanging off Eric's apron strings. She'd gone her own way before and probably would again.
Would it be worth all she'd lose, just to have a few years with Eric and then face eternity mostly alone? She couldn't picture herself enjoying the endless churn of the centuries while barely seeing him more than a few times a decade, if that.
And yet she couldn't put the thought out of her head. How could she willingly condemn the man she loved to the fate Pam had (grudgingly) admitted she believed he would face? How could she leave him when she had the power to stay? Her biggest fear in life, if she truly wanted to give it a name, had always been abandonment.
Her parents had died and left her. Her Gran had died and left her. Her brother lived, but he cared so little for her he might as well have been dead and gone. Bill had betrayed her, assaulted her and eventually abandoned her for his maker. Quinn had barely even been present for their relationship and, if it had continued, she had no doubt she would have been left feeling abandoned, even though she would have technically been with him. Even Eric had left her, when he'd remembered himself but forgotten their time together during his curse.
But Eric had come back to her and even when he couldn't remember what had happened between them, Sookie couldn't say he hadn't been trying, in his own way, to show her he cared. From little things like replacing her coat, to huge things like saving her from the Pelts and taking Andre's place so she wouldn't have to bond with him. So how could she, who understood the terrible aching pain of being the one left behind, do the exact same thing to him? How could she repay the love and the devotion he'd given her, that she cherished so much even at her most stubborn, by choosing fried chicken and skin cancer over him?
Looking at her watch, Sookie realized her break was over. It was time to go back inside and attempt to not drive away business with her flakiness for a few more hours. She wished she could say that her break had been productive, but she only had more questions and more depressing pessimism weighing down on her now than she'd had before.
Maybe she'd been right last night. Maybe she should have just left, gone when the going was good. But she knew that hadn't been an option for a long time now. She closed her eyes, trying to center herself before going back into the noisy bar (doubly noisy for her), and as she did so she felt the tiny, now familiar thrum of Eric's life force in the back of her brain. He'd told her once he liked having this connection to her, and that she would like it eventually too. She wasn't completely sure she could say that, but at the same time it felt…nice not to be alone, without having that presence raining down unwanted thoughts in her head. He didn't know it, tucked away in Shreveport in his daytime rest, but his steady presence was giving her the only calm she'd been able to find all day.
When her shift was finally over, Sookie handed her section over to Tanya and piled into her car. She was glad that she could basically drive herself home on autopilot because, as tired as she was, her mind hadn't let her have a second of peace yet.
The worst part of it was, after all her endless thinking and worrying, she'd only come to a single conclusion: she would have to talk to Eric. The thought of it made her a little queasy and, as she turned down Hummingbird Road, she offhandedly wondered if she had enough money in her bank account to purchase a one way plane ticket to Kashmir, or any other remote as hell place, to leave tonight.
She laughed harshly at the thought. Eric had pegged her as a runner from the very beginning, but she doubted he really understood the lengths she'd be willing to go to in pursuit of her avoidance issues.
"You promised yourself you were gonna make some real decisions, Sookie." She said to her reflection in the rearview mirror. Sighing, she turned her eyes back to the road, to make sure she didn't end up driving into the middle of the construction they were still doing at the end of her driveway.
"Yes, yes I did." Sookie answered herself, fully aware she was now having an entire conversation with her reflection. "But that doesn't mean it has to be tonight." The truth was, though it aided her avoidance, it was probably a sound choice.
She was so tired, a little sleep couldn't do anything but help clear away the fog in her brain so she could think straight. In her best Southern Belle voice, Sookie looked at herself in the rear view mirror again and proclaimed dramatically "I'll think about it all tomorrow." But as she pulled up to her farmhouse and saw the oversized figure sitting on her tiny porch swing, she knew her inner Scarlett would need to take a hike.
Before she even had the engine completely off or the parking brake up, he was by her side, opening the door and giving her his hand to help her out of the driver's seat. Once she was completely out, he engulfed her in his cool embrace. His hands banding around her middle and holding her tight to his body as his face went into her hair, breathing in what she was sure would be the smell of friend chicken, burgers, and beer. A scent he would only ever describe as sugar, honey-suckle and just a hint of candied Fairy.
"Lover." Was all he said, but through their bond she could feel him reassuring himself that she was truly alright after her brush with death the night before.
Sookie wrapped her arms around Eric's middle and let him do what he needed to do. She wouldn't lie and say that she wasn't enjoying the feeling of being in his strong arms, after her endless hours of exhaustion and mental turmoil, or the sense of warmth, calm and joy his presence always inspired since their bonding. She'd railed against these feelings many, many times, determined to blame the blood bond for them, but right now she decided that she'd be a fool to look a gift horse in the mouth. Calm and comfort was what she needed and calm and comfort was what Eric was giving her.
After a few long moments she felt Eric shift and, without warning, she found herself in his arms as he carried her up the steps to her house. She'd never admit it out loud, but she loved that he could lift and hold her so effortlessly and that his body was like a mountain, huge and strong, protecting her. It made her feel safe, cared for and secure in a way she'd never felt with any of the other men in her life. But, just as she was about to rest her head on his shoulder, she remembered Claude.
"Eric, wait! I forgot to tell you…" She was too late. Eric already had them through the front door before she could finish her thought. She could tell by the darkness of all of the rooms that Claude wasn't home but she could also tell the exact moment the lingering scent of one hundred percent pure, unadulterated Fairy hit her Vampire like a train barreling out of a tunnel.
Her Viking honey went from concerned lover, worried only for her safety and well-being, to a sex and blood starved creature of pure instinct, in less than a second. And if she knew Eric, and she did, she'd bet his instincts were, once again, telling him to bite her and fuck her and rub himself all over her.
He didn't bother to flick on the lights, he didn't bother to walk them to the bedroom, he simply looked down at her with the very last of his sanity and posed the one question that would allow free rein to his beast.
"You are unharmed?" He managed to bite out, his voice choked with lust and possessive desire.
Sookie only nodded her head, his emotions inside her so strong and overwhelming that they had obliterated both her exhaustion and her worry. All she wanted now was the frenzied pillaging she was sure was only seconds away.
"Good." Was his final word before he dumped her unceremoniously onto the couch, managing to sweep it of the back cushions as he did, so there would be enough room for them both.
Sookie had barely felt the cool softness of the couch underneath her when she felt the cool hardness of a suddenly nude Eric on top of her. She caught one fleeting glance of his burning blue eyes before his head fell to her jawline, attacking it with blunt nips and rough licks as his whole, huge, naked body began to move against her still clothed one.
"Eric." She half sighed, half moaned as his mouth met the pulse beneath her ear. She expected him to bite down, knowing he was mostly gone in his lust for both her body and her blood, but he didn't: he only licked her pulse almost gently and then continued his trail of sweet and harsh kisses.
For Eric, there wasn't much resembling coherent thought at the moment. He vaguely, in the back of his fogged mind, remembered that he should be worrying about Sookie right now. He had almost lost her last night, and had yet again been unable to go to her thanks to Victor Madden's schemes. But all he could think of was the sweet swells of her breasts, how he longed to taste them, suck them, bite them and how much he despised the flimsy pieces of cotton and lace that were between him and their perfection.
His hands made quick work of the problem, removing her shirt and bra in one lightening quick movement and then she was finally topless beneath him, the beautiful skin of her torso glowing softly in the dim illumination from the floodlights outside. Her sweet breasts, with their petal pink nipples, were now bare and rising to hard points before him, beckoning him to take them between his lips and kiss them over and over again, as they deserved.
The cry of pleasure that fell from Sookie's mouth as he closed over one of her delicious peaks only made his frenzy that much more desperate. He brought his other hand down to her black short shorts and pretty matching thong and relieved her of them with a mindless efficiency he dimly felt they'd both appreciate under the circumstance.
"Yes, oh God yes." She chanted, over and over again, as Eric worshiped her breasts with his lips, tongue and teeth.
He began to rock his hips against her rapidly soaking center, the fingers of the hand that had removed her shorts finding their way to her dripping entrance and beginning to play inside of her, even as his rock hard erection teased her clit, rubbing against it with each forceful thrust.
Sookie's first orgasm washed over her in a burst of bright, white light as Eric brought together each of the blissful elements of his assault on her body with the skill of a master. Curling the fingers inside of her, he shamelessly teased her, as he circled his hips, causing her clit to twist ever so slightly against the velvet over steel of his cock. Biting down with his fangs, he punctured the delicate flesh on either side of her nipple sucking it, and her blood, into his hungry mouth.
Eric continued to drink as Sookie came down from her high. Only when she began to breathe normally again did he retract his fangs, sealing the wound on her now tender breast, as he plunged his cock deep into her weeping entrance. Bringing the hand that had been inside her to her clit, he continued his sweet torture of her overstimulated nerves, smiling lustfully as she again began to gasp erratically for air.
They cried out together, Sookie wrapping her arms and legs around him as Eric rode her with abandon, taken by his desire for her, his need to hold her, keep her and possess her, all sweetened by the drugging essence of Fairy that permeated her home.
When the end came, they reached it together this time, and Eric held her close, his hand fisting into the back of her hair and bringing her flush against his body, as he arched rigidly, and emptied into her again and again. His cries ringing through the empty room as hers were muffled against his heart.
When it was over, he collapsed, using the last of his sense and strength to move slightly to the side, falling next to her and not on top of her. Sookie could tell that he was still affected by the lingering aroma of Fairy because he laughed in a way that was almost goofy, as he brushed his long, golden hair away from his face and looked at her with slightly unfocused eyes.
"I think you have some explaining to do, lover." He said, his voice serious even if his expression was still more along the lines of dreamy.
Sookie just looked at him, feeling exhausted, sated and overwhelmed all at the same time. He had no idea.
"I've got a lot I need to talk to you about actually. Are you staying the night or do you have to get back to Shreveport?" She asked, almost wishing he couldn't stay and had only popped by to check on her.
"You were almost killed last night. I felt that justified my taking a personal day. I'm yours until the sun rises." Sookie nodded.
Maybe he'd get distracted by the fact that she now had her very own, full-time Fairy air freshener and they'd never get around to having the other conversation. Or maybe Victor Madden's hench Vamps would somehow burst through the door and kill them both before they could put their underwear back on. Or maybe she'd just have to be a God dang grown up for once, and talk to the man who'd already told her he loved her about what, if any, kind of future they might have together.
