GREETINGS AND WELCOME THIS IS YOUR FAVORITE WRITER xXx575ZiMgArFiElD4eVeRxXx HERE, READY TO GIVE YOU THE LOWDOWN ON THIS HOE DOWN BEFORE WE CONTINUE THE EPIC JOURNEY OF SPIKE.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PLETHORA OF HELPFUL REVIEWS AND SUGGESTIONS; WITHOUT YOUR SUPPORT I WOULD PROBABLY GO BACK TO PLAYING MINECRAFT. BUT I BELIEVE SOME STAEMENTS NEED TO BE ADDRESSED!

"YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T TYPE IN ALL CAPS. IT'S VERY ANNOYING, PEOPLE DON'T LIKE IT, AND IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE AN AMETURE NOVICE WRITER!

YOU SHOULD ALSO TRY TO SPACE YOUR WORK"

TYPING IN ALL-CAPS IS THE SIGN OF A WRITER WITH GREAT CONFIDENCE! AND CONSIDERING I'VE WRITTEN QUITE THE SELECTION OF SUCCESSFUL FICTION, I THINK I'M IN DUE OF SOME OF IT. SO IF SOME OF YOU ARE ANNOYED BY YOUR OWN LACK OF EXPERIENCE, I SUGGEST YOU CONTINUE WRITING MORE, AS ONE DAY YOU'LL BE AS GOOD AS ME AND CAN CAPSLOCK YOUR OWN WORKS! IF SOME OF YOU ARE HAVING TROUBLE STILL, FEEL FREE TO LINK ME TO YOUR STORIES AND I WILL GIVE A GOOD REVIEW!

ALSO I'M AFRAID I WILL NOT BE INCLUDING SPACE IN MY STORY AS HORSES CANNOT BREATHE IN SPACE.

"Well, whats there to say about this? This is a trollfic, the end."

I BELIEVE SOME OF YOU ARE MISTAKEN, AS NO TROLLS HAVE APPEARED IN THIS STORY YET. THEY ARE, IN FACT, NOT DUE TO APPEAR UNTIL CHAPTER 264, WHEN RAINBOW DASH USES THE EYE OF ANUBIS TO BURN HER NAME INTO THE TROLL KINGDOM'S FARMS, THUS ELICITING WAR. OH SHIT WAIT THAT'S A SPOILER FORGET I WROTE THAT.

ANYWAY ENOUGH AUTHOR COMMENTS. IN THE WORDS OF HARRY POTTER TO HIS BEST FRIEND RON PAUL, "Let's rodeo."


ONE DAY AFTER THE DAY BEFORE SPIKE AND HIS BEST FRIEND TWILIGHT SPARKLE, WHO WAS HIS GIRLFRIEND, WERE WALKING THROUGH EQUESTRIA. OR PONYVILLE.

"SPIKE YOU EYES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL" TWILIGHT, SPIKE'S BEST FRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND, COMPLIMENTED HIM.

"THANK YOU TWILLIT. YOU'RE EYES ARE LIKE GEMSTONES GLITTERING OR SOMETHING" SPIKE SAID IN RESPONSE TO WHAT TWILIGHT SAID.

"DON'T YOU EAT GEMS" TWILIGHT ASKED IN RESPONSE TO SPIKE'S RESPONSE TO TWILIGHT'S COMPLIMENT.

"MMMMM" SPIKE SAID IN RESPONSE TO TWILIT'S RESPONSE TO SPIKE'S RESPONSE TO TWILIGHT (WHO IS SPIKE'S BEST FRIEND AND GIRL FRIEND) AND HER- "OH LOOK TWILIGHT IT IS THE ORANGE HORSE FRIEND"

SPIKE POINTED TO THAT RASCALLY APPLE JACK WHO WAS DOIN HER APPLE BUSINESS AGAIN!

"APPLES TO APPLES GOSH DARN IT THESE APPLES AIN'T COMMIN DOWN" APPLE JACK COMPLAINED AS SHE RAMMED HER HEAD ON SOME WOOD.

BEING A BORING BOOK NERD TWILIGHT HAD A SUGGESTION RIGHT AWAY. "MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE HITTING ACTUAL TREES INSTEAD OF STUMPS!" APPLE JACK STOPPED SMASHING HER THICK PONY SKULL ON THE TREE STUMP. TWILIGHT WAS RIGHT! NOT THAT APPLE JACK UNDERSTOOD HER

"BUHHHHH, WUH... HUH?" THE ORANGE HORSE MOANED IN CONFUSION. "TARNATIONS WHY I DON'T GET THIS PHILOSOPHY HOO HAH YOU KEEP BABBLING ABOUT CITY GIRL"

SPIKE AND HIS GIRLFRIED TWILIGHT LAUGHED AT THE SILLY HORSE'S LACK OF EDUCATION. "SILLY TEXAN IT'S CHEMISTRY, NOT PHILOSOPHY!" TWILIGHT CLEARED UP FOR HER, AND POINTED WITH HER HOOVE-FINGERS TO APPLE JACK'S APPLE FARM OF APPLES. "LOOK, YOU CAN KNOCK APPLES DOWN FROM THOSE TREES!"

"WHAT IN TARNATIONS!" APPLE JACK LOOKED OVER AND BY GOLLY THE PURPLE ONE WAS RIGHT THERE WERE TREES AND THEY WERE FULL OF APPLES BUT "TWILIGHT, WHO IS SPIKE'S GIRLFRIEND, THOSE APPLES ARE TOO HIGH UP AND I CANNOT REACH THEM UGGGGGH" APPLE JACK TRIED JUMPING UP AND HIT THE TREE AGAIN NOT EVEN COMING CLOSE WHAT AN IDIOT

sPIKE AND TWILIGHT GIRLFRIEND JUST KEPT LAUGHING AND SPIKE WAS ALL LIKE "HAHA THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING A SILLY SOUTHERN HORSE HERE LET ME FLY UP WITH MY NEW WINGS AND GET THEM APPLES FOR YOU" THE CONCEPT OF FLIGHT WAS SIMPLY TOO MUCH FOR APPLE JACK TO HANDLE SO HER BRAIN SHUT OFF AS SPIKE FLEW AROUND GETTING DOWN ALL THE APPLES FROM ALL THE TREES IN LIKE A FEW MINUTES AND IT WAS REALLY EASY BECAUSE DRAGONS ARE THE BEST ANIMALS EVER AND ARE DEFINITELY REAL AND THEY WILL COME TO ME IF I BELIEVE IN THEM HARD ENOUGH FUCK YOU MOM

"OH GOD SPIKE YOU ARE SO SEXY GETTING ALL OF THOSE APPLES" TWILIGHT WAS WOOED BUT IN CASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE SHE IS SPIKE'S GIRLFRIEND SO THIS IS NATURAL. "I BET NOT EVEN MY MAGIC HORN COULD GET DOWN THOSE APPLES."

"MEOWTH DAT'S RIGHT" SPIKE RESPONDED AS HE LANDED NEXT TO TWILIGHT. MEANWHILE APPLE JACK FINALLY RETURNED FROM HER CATATONIC STUPID STATE. "WELL GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY SUGARCUUUUUBES YOU OT ALL THEM APPLES DOWN WHY I COULD USE A STRONG MAN DRAGON LIKE YOU ROUND THESE HERE PARTS HERE..." APPLE JACK THEN TRIED TO COP A FEEL AS BEING A SOUTHERNER SHE WAS RATHER LOOSE BUT THANKFULLY TWILIGHT PUNCHED HER RIGHT IN THE FACE.

"HOOVES OFF BEEYOTCH DAT'S MY MAN" TWILIGHT SAID ALL SASSY MOLASSY. SHE AND SPIKE HAD A NICE SLOPPY MAKE OUT AND LEFT WHILE APPLEJERK WATCHED. "OH SHOOTS AND HORSE RADISHES THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF BUSH WAS STILL PRESIDENT..." SHE PROCEEDED TO PICK UP THE APPLES FROM THE GROUND TO CONSTRUCT APPLE PYRAMIDS WHEN SUDDENLY SOMEONE CAME UP BEHIND HER (NOTL IKE THAT YOU PERVERTS!)

"APPLE JACK" PINKIE PIE SAID. "I HAVE A PLAN SO WE CAN HAVE SPIKKE ALL TO OURSELVES." SHE SAID WHILE APPLE JACK LISTENED...

WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT? YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND OUT NEXT TIME WHEN I WRITE IT ALSO IT'S GOING TO HAVE RAINBOW DASH BECAUSE SHE'S THE BEST HORSE.